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They tried to bury us

They didn't know we were seeds...

86

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

394

YOUR
PHONE SCREEN
IS BRIGHTER THAN YOUR FUTURE.

276

Keep reaching for the stars.

But, please, get a better deodorant.

5

-Police: 'Knock Knock'
-Me: Who is it?
-Police: It's the Police!
-Me: What do you want?
-P: We just wanna talk.
-M: How many of you are there?
-P: 2
-M: Then Talk to each other

8

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

9

Twinkle, twinkle little star lead me to the nearest bar!

213

Trying to sleep like;
One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old mac Donald had a farm,
HEE MACARENA!!!!

257

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