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Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

295

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

169

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

192

At the end of the day, life should ask us,
Do you want to save the changes?

181

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

125

The hands of friendship have no color.

112

bock auf candle light döner?

46

Donald Trump.
Donald T.
Don T.
don't.

117

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

29

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

126

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

64

I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me...

60

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