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a virgin getting pregnant, l can believe. but three wise men?

85

I'm not responsible for what I'll do to you when I'm with you.

50

I don't have exes,
I have holes in the backyard.

55

If someone gives you the middle finger, ask them, "what time?".

33

What's
comin' will
come and
we'll meet it
when it does.

- Hagrid

55

I need a longer weekend,
because I need more time
to do absolutely nothing.

28

Screw butterflies!

I wanna* feel the whole fuckin'* zoo when I'm with him.

14

Yes, I hate you.

What's the problem?

16

how women take selfies: take 371 pictures, delete 366

how men take selfies: real men don't take selfies

24

"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all
if our aims are identical and our hearts are open."

13

People
these days are so weird

20

That awkward moment when you get a notification that someone is now following you.

16

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