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Posts Liked by apriljeff

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

1

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

278

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

181

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute.
I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.

91

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

152

Relationship status:

Looking for a WiFi connection.

163

I 'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.

197

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