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Posts Liked by ottokalvela

New iOS Version!

31

Not telling me because you don't want to piss me off is probably the best way to piss me off.

12

Thinking is hard, that's why most people judge.

~ Carl Jung

32

Mother-in-law

rearranged

Woman Hitler

3

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

It's a fact, if they find the truth. If they dont,

Just saying.

25

bad decisions make good stories

78

Even Fury Road has pit stops.

3

Knowing someone desires you is the greatest
aphrodisiac.

~ Patricia Briggs

12

What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.

78

I'm glad I've got boobs.

The last thing i need is people making eye contact with me.

8

How can I sleep eight hours in four hours?

11

Starbucks made paying too much for coffee popular.

8

It's amazing how
a little tomorrow can make up for
a whole lot
of yesterday.

~ John Guare

3

When did the future switch from being
a promise to
being a threat?

~ Chuck Palahniuk

4

It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now.

~ George Harrison

8

We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.

~ George Harrison

10

Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.

~ Beryl Markham

5

I dug some truth from the filth in my life only to find the shovel was an illusion.

21

It's not you versus others, it's you versus you.

38

my mind goes on
an instant vacation
when i see your name midst my notifications

38

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

6

I CAN'T
KEEP CALM
it's
MY BIRTHDAY

3

What consumes your mind controls your life.

4

Your beliefs don't make you
a better person,

your behavior does.

2

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

16

A mistake is simply another way of doing things.

~ Katherine Graham

8

Whatsapp is like my fridge you know
Even though i know theres nothing inside i check it again and again...:V

21

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

~ African proverb

7

Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.

~ Marie Curie

7

Do the best you can, until you know better.

Then, when you know better, do better.

~ Maya Angelou

5

Without the acceptance of who you are, you cannot be the one that you want to be.

. _ .
( - )
_( )_
(_ ` / . _)

34

I'M NOT PREGNANT!
BUT I'M STILL EATING FOR TWO, ME AND
MY INNER BITCH,
SHE LOVES TACOS.

80

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

15

b
WRONG

8

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it everytime.

13

Weak people hurt others

16

When you truly care for someone, their mistakes never change your feelings because it's the mind that gets angry, but the heart still cares.

7

A real relationship
is two imperfect souls who love each other
so deeply they refuse
to give up on each other.

13

If you think your relationship is real, trade phones for a day.

No passwords.

And see if 90% of you won't be single.

8

Roll your eyes harder maybe you can find a brain back there.

86

Today is hug your American friends day.

33

h•le

26

^^
FREEDOI I

25

That moment when you talk so highly about someone who ends up disappointing you.

38

A tear is made
1% of water and
99% of feelings.

10

Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call
it the present.

15

Sometimes the most innocent faces have the dirtiest mind.

47

Everything
happens
for a reason

14

People leave. How they leave is what stays.

91

Emma Watson gave a speech about gender inequality on college campuses. If there is
one issue Emma Watson is familiar with, it is large educational institutions being run by an old white guy.

~ James Corden

9

Some relationships are like bad Wifi.

No real connection and lots of frustration.

11

Writing bolds like I don't give a f*ck and then pressing refresh like a 12 year old girl to see if anyone likes them

14

__________
| |
| Place |
| stamp |
| here |
|_________|

47

_______________
| Take a |
| Free smile |
|______________|
| | | | |
| :-) | :-) | :-) | :-) |
|___|___|___|___ |

101

Learn to appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking.

62

I'm not saying
you're a slut.

I'm just saying if
your vagina had a password,
it would be 1234.

40

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

90

When I was a
baby, an evil fairy cursed me with
an expensive taste and no money.

113

The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time.

66

I get far too little credit for all the things I don't say.

39

I get far too little credit for all the things I don't say.

132

Every time I put my phone on silent, it decides to play 'hide and seek'

140

Dear Sneeze,

If you're going to happen, happen.

Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

251

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

213

the lion and tiger might be powerful...
but the wolf does not perform in the circus

316

As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.

193

namaste,
bitches

200

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is to love someone, means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You dont have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

30

I wonder how many calories bitches consume by jumping into conclusions.

32

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up & if that doesn't accurately describe my life, I don't know what does.

46

A world where we are smarter than our phones

182

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

232

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

393

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

224

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