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Posts Liked by shoomy

renamed my ipod the Titanic, so when i plug it in, it says "the Titanic is syncing" he he

213

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

261

FUCK
-VERB [FAAK]
-ing .er - s
FUCK can be used
in many ways and is probably the only FUCKING word that
can be put every FUCKINGWHERE
and still make
FUCKING sense. FUCKERS.

2

It's about time to come up with an emoji for "you're driving me insane, but I still want to fuck you!"

46

I'm not saying
you're a slut.

I'm just saying if
your vagina had a password,
it would be 1234.

169

Roses are red, violets are blue,
vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

19

The best thing about being a porn actress is that you can be rude at a restaurant and there's really nothing the staff can put in your food for revenge.

21

"Missing you as well honey..."

*clicks tab back to porn

17

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