Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

juneocallagh

Follow following

Subscribe subscribed

Bold Points 352196

Bold Since 1399979741000

juneocallagh

THE STONE YOU THROW MY WAY COULD BE THE STONE YOU TRIP OVER TOMORROW...

134

"DO NOT TOUCH"

MUST BE ONE OF THE MOST SCARIEST THINGS TO READ IN BRAILLE..

90

We
Are
Shaped
and
Fashioned
By
What We
Love

79

THOSE WHO STIR THE SHITPOT SHOULD LICK THE SPOON

82

I Hate when I Plan my Day..
And Nobody Follow's
The Script !!

142

Be careful When you Follow The
"MASSES"

Sometimes The
"M "
Is Silent ;-)

124

"You only live once?"
FALSE
You Live Everyday

You only DIE ONCE.

135

A
Pretty
Face
is
Nothing
If
You
Have
An
Ugly Heart

90

I HATE TO CANCEL.

I KNOW WE MADE PLANS TO GET TOGETHER TONIGHT,
BUT THAT WAS TWO HOURS AGO,

I WAS YOUNGER THEN AND FULL OF HOPE.

49

I'M NOT PREGNANT!
BUT I'M STILL EATING FOR TWO, ME AND
MY INNER BITCH,
SHE LOVES TACOS.

49

I
Have a
Therapist

Her name is

MUSIC

89

Balloons
are so weird like Have A Happy Birthday !
Here's A plastic
SACK of my BREATH !

101

Don't Yell at your Kids...

Lean in and whisper,
It's much
SCARIER ....

68

I THINK I MAY NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.....

A CHEF, A BUTLER AND A MAID SHOULD DO IT!

48

I like those friend's that you don't have to talk to every day,
But you're still friend's even if you go week's without talking ;-)

80

I'm not Gay,
But I will support
Gay Marriage & Defend Gay rights every chance I can..
WHY?
Because I Believe in HAPPINESS xx

74

My Bed
Wasn't Feeling
Well This Morning,
So I Stayed at Home
To Take Care Of It.

95

next Time when I'm Alone And A stranger starts Talking To me I'm Going To look At Them ,SHOCKED,And

WHISPER

" You Can See Me "?

80

BETTER TO BE SLAPPED WITH THE TRUTH ,
THAN KISSED WITH A LIE..

67

Sometimes.
The people Thousands of miles from you....

Can make you feel Better Than The People Right Beside You ....

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

56

JESUS: TABLE FOR 26 PLEASE"

WAITER: BUT THERE ONLY 13 OF YOU"

JEAUS: YES BUT WE ARE ALL GOING TO SIT ON THE SAME SIDE"

54

There are a Million Way's To Say " I Love You"

"Put Your Seatbelt on"
" Watch Your Step"
" Get Some Rest"

You Just Have To Listen

61

same shit different shovel

71

SELFIE'S
ARE
A Lot Sadder
When
YOU
Think Of Them
AS ALONE-IES
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

82

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

FRI-NALLY

*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

43

A MAN ASKED A FAIRY TO MAKE HIM DESIRABLE TO ALL WOMEN....
SO SHE TURNED HIM INTO A CREDIT CARD!

41

When You Talk,
You are only Repeating what you know already Know,
But If You Listen You may learn Something New.

Dalai Lama

57

HE WAS SOO FAR UP HIS OWN ASS...
I REPORTED HIM MISSING .

33

CAFUNÈ

(n) RUNNING YOUR FINGERS THROUGH THE HAIR OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

31

IT's OK IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME,
NOT EVERYONE HAS GOOD TASTE?

43

The Fact There's a Highway to HELL
and only a Stairway to Heaven..
Say's a Lot of
Anticipated
Traffic Number's

70

Real Pain is when you offer somebody your Food just to be polite.....And They say Yes And Take It :-(

58

GRIEF
It's not the kind of sadness To where you cry all the time,but more of like the sadness that overwhelms your whole body, leaving
your heart aching and your
stomach empty,making you
feel weak and tired,and yet
you cant even sleep because the sadness is in
your dreams too, god bless

49

I'LL
STOP
WEARING
BLACK
WHEN
THEY
INVENT
A DARKER
COLOUR.

30

HI SEXY!!
Shut The Door,
Drop Your Pant's, Climb on top of me and satisfy
Your need's..

LOVE ALWAYS
YOUR
TOILET X

48

IF
THE
BROOM
FIT'S
RIDE
IT

35

WHAT DOES A CLOUD WEAR UNDER HIS RAINCOAT?

THUNDER WEAR!

46

Dance like no one is watching!!

Because
Their not..

They're checking
Their Phones. <*.*>

56

Two Things
Define You !
Your Patience When You Have Nothing,
and Your Attitude
When You Have
Everything .

50

"WORD OF THE THE DAY"

"EXHAUSTIPATED"

Just Too Tired To Give A Shit !!

46

THERE
IS NO
PLACE
LIKE
HOPE.

30

I Don't Mind
Going to work..
But The Eight Hour
wait to go Home is just Bullshit..

44

WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL

HEAD was part of the BODY
PUSSY was a CAT
SEX meant GENDER
BITCH was a female DOG
RUBBER was an ERASER
BALL'S were a round TOY
NUT'S meant DRY FRUIT
SCREW was a TOOL
69 was just a NUMBER
AND THEN I FOUND BOLD !

35

Mom Does Not Mean:

M-ade
O-f
M-oney !!!

50

$Keep Your Head UP.. God Gives His Hardest Battle's To His Strongest Soldier's /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/$

39

AS WE GET OLDER,OUR CHRISTMAS LIST GET'S
SMALLER AND WE FIND OUT THE THING'S WE REALLY WANT CAN'T BE BOUGHT.

39

Don't
Make
Excuses For Nasty People,
You Can't Put a Flower in an Asshole & Call it a VASE ;-)

42

WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS SO MAD AT MY PARENTS,
I DIDN'T TALK TO THEM FOR 2 YEARS!

32

WAR
WHAT IS
IT GOOD
FOR?

ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING ..

38

I DON'T ALWAY'S ROLL A JOINT,
BUT WHEN I DO!
IT'S USUALLY MY ANKLE!

32

SOMETIME'S I TAKE BATH'S
BECAUSE
IT'S
HARD TO
DRINK WINE
IN THE
SHOWER!

30

THE BIGGEST

COMMUNICATION PROBLEM IS WE DO NOT LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND.

WE LISTEN TO REPLY ..

32

WHY ARE MIRRORS SO UGLY?

30

KARMASUTRA:

WHEN LIFE
FUCKS YOU IN
ALL SORTS OF
CREATIVE WAYS.

39

I'v taken up Photography
Because
It's the only Hobby,
Where you can
Shoot People
And cut their
Head's off...
Without
Going
To JAIL...

50

I'm Sorry
I Didn't Realise You Were an Expert on my Life,
Wait a Minute While I Get a Pen To Take Note's. ?

39

AND SOMETIMES
AGAINST ALL ODDS,
AGAINST ALL LOGIC,
WE STILL HOPE.

21

I
love
people
who
make
me
smile
even
if
I
Don't
Want To xxx

49

tthee pposstt officce ssentt yyur vvibrraatorr to mmyy hhouse bbyy misstaake,...
howw dooo uu turrnn thhiss tthhinnng offfff ???

29

QUICK !
WHILE TRUMP'S DOWN IN MEXICO
LET'S BUILD A WALL !

43

THERE IS NO WIFI IN THE FOREST,
BUT I PROMISE
THERE IS A CONNECTION.

40

If You Don't Like Where
You Are!!
Move. You're
Not A Tree

37

•

PRESS BUTTON
FOR A WISH !

34

THINK
WHILE
IT'S
STILL
LEGAL

44

UNLESS YOUR NAME IS

G O O G L E

STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.

34

HE
CALLED
ME
A
BITCH..
I CALLED
HIM AN
AMBULANCE :-))

30

NOTHING MAKES A PERSON MORE PRODUCTIVE THAN THE LAST MINUTE.

32

I KNOW THEY SAY THERE ARE LOTS OF FISH IN THE SEA,
BUT YOU'RE MY NEMO.

33

WHAT IF OXYGEN MAKES OUR VOICES DEEPER?

AND HELIUM BRINGS IT BACK TO NORMAL!

29

YESTERDAY
IS HEAVY
PUT IT DOWN.

34

*IS IT JUST ME*
or does anyone else think we're in a SNOW GLOBE
& Some Jerk
keep's giving it a Shake ?

42

HÉRÉ'S
TO
THÉ
NIGHT'S
WË
CAN'T
REMEMBER
AND
THË
FRIËND'S
WE NEVER
FORGËT

26

WAIT !!
you mean to tell me
that
STRESS BALL'S
are not for throwing at PEOPLE
WHO STRESS ME OUT ?

^_^

oop's

44

THE TRAGEDY
OF LIFE IS NOT
DEATH,
BUT WHAT WE
LET DIE INSIDE
OF US
WHILE WE LIVE.

33

ADMIT IT
LIFE
WOULD
BE
BORING
WITHOUT
BOLDOMATIC

(*•*)

29

THE THING'S
WE TAKE FOR GRANTED
SOMEONE ELSE IS PRAYING FOR.

31

I'M
NOT
CRAZY
MY
REALITY
IS JUST
DIFFEREN'T
THAN
YOUR'S

24

i sometimes wonder what happened to the people who asked ME for directions •.•

29

@-->-->--
Roses are Red
Some people
are Gay
Let Them get married ..
Vote YES In MAY ;-)

48

Why The Heck Is My SIGNAL LOW in my Bed.

But The Terrorists are able To Upload Video's
From Their Cave's ?

32

BEFORE YOU "ASSUME"
TRY THIS CRAZY METHOD
CALLED "ASKING"

27

ALCOHOL IS NOT THE ANSWER,
IT JUST MAKE'S YOU FORGET THE QUESTION!

37

I Have The Body of a god...

( unfortunatly it's a BUDDA)

42

THE
MOMENT
WHERE YOU
START TO
WONDER IF
YOU DESERVE
BETTER..
YOU DO.

36

NEVER
Do
The
Same
Mistake
Twice....
Unless
HE'S HOT ^_^

47

THE BIGGEST LIE ON THE PLANET:

WHEN I GET WHAT I WANT,
I WILL BE HAPPY.

24

YOU ARE SUCH A PERFECT LITTLE ARRANGEMENT OF ATOM'S.

33

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SEX POSITION'S CREATE UGLY KID'S,
ASK YOUR MOM APPARENTLY SHE KNOW'S EVERYTHING!

24

NOPE I CANT GO TO HELL !!

SATAN HAS A RESTRAINING
ORDER AGAINST ME 8-)

38

I DON'T LIKE TO CALL IT REVENGE...

RETURNING THE FAVOUR SOUND'S MUCH NICER ;-)

31

When i'm in a new relationship
My stomach always hurt's !

not from Butterflies or anything..

From Holding In Fart 's

40

GOOD
LUCK
HILLARY
DON'T
BLOW IT!

- MONICA-

27

OH SWEETIE,
MONSTERS ARE REAL AND THEY LOOK LIKE PEOPLE.

32

SOMETIME'S YOUR
HEART NEED'S MORE
TIME TO ACCEPT
WHAT YOUR MIND ALREADY
KNOW'S.

24

KINDNESS IS A LANGUAGE THE BLIND CAN SEE AND THE DEAF CAN HEAR.

29

TEAR'S are not a sign of weakness,

TEAR'S
mean you have been strong for too long x

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

29

I DON'T HAVE MISTLETOE THIS YEAR,

SO WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KISS UNDER THE INFLUENCE ;-)

25

YOU'RE
SO DOWN TO EARTH,
AND I'M
UP IN THE
STAR'S,
SHOW ME THE SEA AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO MAR'S

28

IF YOU NEED SPACE JOIN NASA BABY!!!

29

I'M RETIRED

I WAS TIRED YESTERDAY
AND I'M TIRED TODAY :-/

30

I'M SO
THANKFUL I
HAD A
CHILDHOOD
BEFORE
TECHNOLOGY
TOOK OVER.

32

Never be afraid to try..
Remember,
Amateurs Built The ARK..,

Professionals
Built
The
TITANIC ..

38

YOU
PEOPLE ARE CRAZY,
I KNOW....
I CAN RECOGNIZE
MY OWN KIND.

26

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WITH ME,
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART.

25

IF YOU ARE TIRED.
LEARN TO REST.
NOT QUIT.

38

ADULT LIFE:

IF YOUR'RE NOT TIRED,
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

32

instead of a sign dats says " do not disturb" i need one dat says already disturbed!! proceed with caution !!

25

Being Polite These Day's....

Can often be confused as Flirting.

41

~• ~• ~•
~• ~• ~• ~•
~• ~• ~•
FIRST KNOWN PICTURE OF MICHAEL PHELPS

37

A WOMAN IS HELPLESS ONLY WHEN HER NAIL POLISH IS DRYING :-(

28

NEVER BE A PRISONER OF YOUR PAST.....
IT WAS A LESSON NOT A LIFE SENTENCE.

29

NOT SURE IF I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT
OR UGLY AND IGNORE IT?

25

if i was a bird i know who id shit on....do u?

28

YOU REMIND ME OF MY LITTLE PINKY TOE....
SOONER OR LATER I'M GONNA BANG YOU ON THE TABLE.

25

" A Hug
is a special gift;
one size fits all,
and nobody minds if you
EXCHANGE IT,,"

34

I'M GLAD MY LIFE ISN'T PERFECT, PROUD THAT I MAKE MISTAKES, HAPPY I HAVE MY PROBLEMS IN LIFE...IT REMINDS ME I'M REAL, I'M HUMAN....I'M ME..

24

I ALWAY'S CARRY A KNIFE IN MY PURSE, YOU KNOW
IN CASE OF CHEESECAKE OR SOMETHING!

25

WORRYING WILL NEVER CHANGE THE OUTCOME.

22

It Dosen't Matter
Who Hurt You or Broke You Down,

What Matter's Is Who Made You Smile Again.

36

APPLE: iPhone 7
IS GOINE TO BE WATER RESISTANT

THE RICE INDUSTRY

fuck:

26

IT'S A BLESSING
AND A CURSE
TO FEEL EVERYTHING
SO VERY DEEPLY.

17

JUST LET ME SHOP,
AND NOBODY
GET'S HURT..

29

SHE WAS A RAINBOW,
BUT HE WAS COLOR BLIND.

34

THERE'S ALWAY'S A WILD SIDE
TO AN
INNOCENT
FACE.

24

I dont have a Facebook
or Twitter Account..
So I Just go around Announcing out loud what i'm Doin at certain Times..

I've Got 3 Followers And I Think 2 of Them Are COPS ...

38

NOBODY
CAN DRIVE YOU CRAZY,

UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM THE KEYS !

33

50 NERDS OF GREY.

'I'VE BEEN A VERY BAD GIRL,' SHE SAID BITING HER LIP' I NEED TO BE
PUNISHED,'
'VERY WELL,' HE SAID
AND INSTALLED WINDOWS
10 ON HER LAPTOP •_•

33

I'M NOT HEARTLESS,
I'VE JUST LEARNED
TO USE MY HEART LESS.

26

LET
US
PRAISE
THE
BADASS
WOMEN...

30

YOUR
ENEMY IS NOT THE REGUFEE,
YOUR ENEMY IS THE ONE WHO MADE HIM A REFUGEE.

30

WHEN YOU'RE DOWN TO EARTH
BUT CLEARLY FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

31

YOU KNOW YOU'VE GROWN UP WHEN A NAP IS NO LONGER A PUNISHMENT BUT A REWARD.

28

"DUDE SHE JUST CALLED YOU FAT."

" OOH HELL NO.!

HOLD MY CAKE.!

24

MY
NAME
IS
BOND
VAGABOND

31

17

THE LAST TIME I WAS SOMEONES TYPE,
I WAS DONATING BLOOD !

30

ANIMAL FACT:

FLAMINGOS ARE MOMOGAMOUS.
EXCEPT FOR PHILIP,
HE'S A CHEATING BASTARD!

25

STALKING IS WHEN TWO PEOPLE GO FOR A LONG ROMANTIC WALK TOGETHER,
BUT ONLY ONE OF THEM KNOWS ABOUT IT!

27

THE LESS PEOPLE YOU CHILL WITH, THE LESS FALSE SHIT YOU DEAL WITH...
FK A CIRCLE!
LOYALTY DOSEN'T HAVE A SHAPE.

16

KARMA
IS LIKE A RUBBER BAND, YOU CAN ONLY STRETCH IT SO FAR BEFORE IT COME'S BACK AND SMACK'S YOU IN THE FACE.

27

LOVE IS LIKE WATER;
WE CAN FALL IN IT.
WE CAN DROWN IN IT.
BUT WE CAN'T
LIVE WITHOUT IT.

25

THE
Biggest
CRIMINALS
Wear TIES
NOT
TATTOOS

24

MAKING MISTAKES IS BETTER THAN FAKING PERFECTIONS.

26

I WILL NEVER BE TO OLD FOR DINOSAUR CHICKEN NUGGET'S !

20

IF TRUMP WIN'S I'M LEAVING THE COUNTRY.
IF HILLARY WIN'S I'M LEAVING THE COUNTRY.....

THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST,
I JUST WAN'T TO TRAVEL !

28

NEVER HINT TO A PRINTER YOU'RE IN A RUSH, THOSE BASTARD'S SMELL FEAR

24

I
CAN'T
EXPLAIN
WHAT I FEEL
BUT I WILL
FIND A SONG
THAT CAN.

31

I CAN'T make it better,
BUT I CAN MAKE YOU TEA <3

21

SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TALK TO A TWO YEAR OLD JUST SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND LIFE AGAIN .

35

Kisses Blown
Are Kisses Wasted..
Kisses aren't Kisses unless They are Tasted..
Kisses Spread Germs And Germs
Are Hated..
So Kiss Me Baby
I'm Vacinated ^_^ x

23

WAR DOSEN'T DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT,
ONLY WHO IS LEFT.

30

my doctor Told me To Start Killing People !

Well not in those exact words,
He said I Had to reduce the stress in my life?

SAME THING:

38

Honesty
is a very Expensive Gift...

Don't expect it from
Cheap People..

41

SO
IT'S OK FOR THE CAT TO RUN AWAY AND HIDE UNDER THE BED WHEN VISITORS TURN UP...,
BUT WHEN I DO IT I'M ANTISOCIAL?

31

SOMETIMES
YOU KISS
THE MEMORIES
NOT THE PERSON.

31

HERE'S
TO ANOTHER DAY OF OUTWARD SMILES AND INWARD SCREAMS ^_~

25

EVERY WOMAN'S DREAM IS THAT A MAN WILL TAKE HER IN HIS ARMS AND THROW HER ON THE BED,

AND CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE WHILE SHE SLEEPS?

29

WHEVER
YOU
GO
LEAVE
A
HEART
PRINT

25

WHATEVER DOSEN'T KILL ME......
HAD BETTER START RUNNING..

22

NEVER
LET
YOUR
FRIEND'S
BE LONELY..
DISTURB THEM AT ALL TIMES

26

If You Are Lucky
Enough
To Find
A Weirdo !
Never
Let
Them GO 8-))

20

I decided
To Have A well Earned Glass of Wine After A long week,

Then I Realised It Was Wednesday Morning...

42

CHILDREN MAKE UP IMAGINARY LINES AND CRY WHEN ANYBODY CROSSES THEM.
_________________

SO DO ADULT'S !!

27

MY LUCK IS LIKE A BALD GUY,
WHO JUST WON A COMB!

22

Never
Piss
The
Person
off
That
Makes
Dinner
For
YOU !!!

28

LOVE THE PEOPLE GOD GAVE YOU,
BECAUSE HE WILL NEED THEM BACK
ONE DAY.

22

BE BOLD ENOUGH
TO USE YOUR VOICE, BRAVE ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO YOUR HEART,
AND STRONG ENOUGH TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU'VE ALWAY'S WANTED.

24

ONE
OF THE BEST GIFT'S YOU CAN GIVE SOMEONE..
IS THANKING THEM FOR BEING IN YOUR LIFE <3

18

I WONDER IF CLOUDS EVER LOOK DOWN ON US AND SAY
" HEY THAT ONE IS SHAPED LIKE AN IDIOT"

24

I LIKE MY CONVERSATIONS LIKE I LIKE MY CLOTHES....

SHORT AND EASY TO GET OUT OF ?

23

I Got A new stick of Deoderant today
Instructions
Say remove Cap and push up Bottom,
I can barely Walk
But when i Fart
The Room Smell's Lovely ;-)

27

I'M
PRADA
YOU'RE
NADA
•_•

27

BACKBONE

BEAT'S

WISHBONE

EVERYTIME !

26

LIFE IS LIKE AN ELEVATOR:

ON YOUR WAY UP,
SOMETIME'S
YOU HAVE TO STOP AND LET SOME PEOPLE OFF.

28

A FLOWER DOES NOT THINK OF COMPETING WITH
THE FLOWER NEXT TO IT '

IT JUST BLOOMS.

26

Behind every nagging woman is a man who's not doing wat he's supposed TO DO :

24

Alcohol
Does not make you FAT..
It make 's you LEAN...
on top of tables, chair's, wall's & Ugly people ^~^

32

I'M KINDA GLAD DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT,
BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE I'D TRY TO RIDE ONE AFTER A FEW DRINK'S

34

One
Bad
Chapter
Dosen't
Mean
Your
Story's
Over

28

YOU DON'T LOVE A WOMAN BECAUSE SHE IS BEAUTIFUL,

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER.

25

HOUSTON

I
HAVE SO
MANY
PROBLEMS

34

WELCOME
TO
THE UNITED
STATES
OF
ANXIETY

25

A FEW NICE WORD'S CAN HELP A PERSON MORE THAN YOU THINK.

22

ITS THE POSSIBILITY THAT KEEPS ME GOING,

NOT THE GUARANTEE.

22

"WHAT IF WHEN WE DIE,
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS JUST US
BEING PUSHED OUT OF ANOTHER VAGINA?

unethical Thoughts :

23

HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN....
BEFORE HE ADMITS HE'S LOST?

22

The moment
You Put your Fone in your pocket Without Lock-It...

And You Take it out and Find,
You Broke up With Your Boyfriend, Sold
Yourself On EBAY,
And Joined ISIS

27

WHAT SCREW'S US UP MOST IN LIFE IS THE PICTURE IN OUR HEAD OF HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!

21

STEP ASIDE
PIKE
I GOT
THIS
SHIT.

16

OH DARLING,

YOU CAN'T FIX
YOURSELF
BY BREAKING SOMEONE ELSE .

29

"MY MEMORY IS SO BAD..

"HOW BAD IS IT?"

"HOW BAD IS WHAT..?"

30

IT IS A RISK TO LOVE,

WHAT IF IT DOSEN'T WORK OUT?

AH, BUT WHAT IF IT DOES.

25

IS THERE REHAB FOR PROCRASTINATION?

THERE IS BUT THEY HAVEN'T OPENED YET!

17

HICKORY DICKORY DOCK,
MANKIND IS ON THE
CLOCK.

I GREATLY FEAR
THE END IS NEAR.

HICKORY DICKORY DOCK !

19

*
*
*
*
"DO THE UNIVERSE A FAVOUR,
DON'T HIDE YOUR MAGIC..."

26

Teacher:
what comes after 69"?
Student,
"Mouthwash"
Teacher;
" GET OUT"

35

MEDITATION:

BECAUSE SOME QUESTIONS CAN'T BE ANSWERED BY GOOGLE.

26

IT'S HARD TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WHEN AN ANGRY PERSON WALKS AWAY WITH SQUEAKY SHOES :D

22

I Have Never ever been Kissed :-(

25

THE
BIGGEST
ROOM
IN
THE
WORLD,
IS ROOM
FOR
IMPROVEMENT.

29

IT'S NOT AN

AUTOMATIC

IT'S A

BOLDOMATIC !

18

I Dream of giving birth to a child who
will ask...
Mother,
WHAT WAS WAR?

28

WE
WANTED TO BE FKN ADULTS'
JUST LOOK AT US :-()
JUST FKN LOOK AT US! •_•

22

CHEER'S TO ALL THOSE WHO STILL HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THEIR FUTURE.

25

The Future Lie's Before YOU,
Like a Field of fallen snow;
Be careful how you tread it,
For every step will show.

25

UNLESS YOU HEAR IT FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH,

DON'T LISTEN TO A JACKASS !

18

3 THING'S
YOU CAN'T
RECOVER
IN LIFE..

THE WORD AFTER
IT'S SAID,
THE MOMEN'T AFTER IT'S MISSED,
AND THE TIME AFTER
IT'S GONE ,

25

THE YEAR 2045.
"GRANDPA, HOW DID PRESIDENT TRUMP EVER GET ELECTED.?

"WELL WE WERE A BIT DISTRACTED BACK THEN, THAT WAS THE YEAR ADULT COLOURING BOOK'S CAME OUT.

26

mom said follow your dreams
so I went back to bed:

32

LOYALTY & ORGASMS
THAT'S ALL WE WAN'T,

AND FOOD ......
DON T FORGET THE FOOD!

21

I NO LONGER LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN PEOPLE, I SEARCH FOR THE REAL......
BECAUSE WHILE GOOD IS OFTEN DRESSED IN FAKE CLOTHING, REAL IS NAKED AND PROUD NO MATTER THE SCARS.

19

IF THEIR NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT TODAY,

TOMORROW WILL NOT BE ANY DIFFERENT!

21

DAMAGED PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS,
THEY KNOW THEY CAN SURVIVE.

24

My Boss Told Me " To Dress For The Job you Want, not The Job you Have,"

Now, I'm sitting in a Disciplinary Meeting Dressed as Wonder Woman !

25

IF
I
LET
YOU
IN
PLEASE
DON'T
BREAK
ANYTHING.

30

THE WILL IS WHAT MATTER'S-

AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THAT, YOU ARE SAFE.

20

DEAR LORD

PUT YOUR HAND ON MY SHOULDER....
AND THE OTHER ONE OVER MY MOUTH .

12

ANIMALS HAVE A WAY OF FINDING THE PEOPLE WHO NEED THEM,
AND FILLING AN EMPTINESS WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE HAD !

18

IF YOU ARE READING THIS,
YOU HAVE SURVIVED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE UP TO THIS POINT'
YOU HAVE SURVIVED TRAUMA'S, HEARTBREAK,
DEVASTATION,
THE DIFFERENT PHASE'S OF LIFE.

AND HERE YOU ARE!
YOU ARE AWSOME <3

24

IT'S REALLY COOL TO LIVE IN AMERICA AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY BECAUSE IT'S LIKE THE COLLAPSE OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE BUT WITH WIFI.

25

"it's Called
"KARMA"
But it's pronounced,

"HA HA HA"

28

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
[E][M][I][L][E][D][77 !
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

LÔÔL

17

THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD EVER LOOK BACK.
IS TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'VE COME.

24

THERE ARE ONLY TWO DAYS IN THE YEAR
THAT NOTHING
CAN BE DONE....
ONE IS CALLED
YESTERDAY AND THE
OTHER ONE IS CALLED TOMORROW.

16

IF YOU CALL ME ON A PRIVATE NUMBER,
I WILL RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY AND NOT ANSWER.

22

Change
Your Thought's
And You Change Your World..

23

DON'T MESS WITH ME
I KNOW,
KARATE, JUDO, TAI KWON DO,
JUJITSU, AND 26 OTHER DANGEROUS WORDS •_•

20

I Am Responsible for what I Say,

However,I AM NOT Responsible for What You Understand !

20

FOR THOSE WHO THINK A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN REMEMBER!

THAT'S WHERE ALL THE KNIVES ARE KEPT ;-)

21

A MOTHER TAKES TWENTY YEARS TO MAKE A MAN OF HER BOY,
AND ANOTHER WOMAN MAKES A FOOL OF HIM IN TWENTYMINUTES.

22

WE DIDN'T REALIZE WE
WERE MAKING MEMORIES,

WE JUST KNEW WE WERE
HAVING FUN.

31

"EXERCISE"
I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU SAID

EXTRA. FRIES ?

34

TO ALL OF YOU THAT ARE CONSTANTLY IN MY NOTIFICATIONS, LIKING AND SHARING MY POSTS... IT DOSEN'T GO UNNOTICED ;-)) <3

YOU ARE AWESOME!
THANK YOU ALL XX

18

IF I WANTED I COULD DESTROY EVERYTHING!

BUT
I'M A GOOD PERSON ?

-_-

15

HURT
ME WITH THE TRUTH..
BUT NEVER COMFORT ME WITH A LIE.

28

"SOMETIMES",

"SAID POOH
THE SMALLEST THINGS TAKE UP THE MOST ROOM IN YOUR HEART."

20

THE ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER IS PURELY DECORATIVE ;-)

26

DON'T BE ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE LEAVES YOUR LIFE,
SOMETIME'S
GOD
TAKES THE TRASH OUT FOR YOU.

23

HEY AUTOCORRECT
QUIT TAMPERING
WITH MY CUSS WORD'S,

YOU MOTHER FORKLIFT.

22

SANTA SAW YOUR INSTRAGRAM
PICTURES !
YOU 'RE GETTING
CLOTHES AND A BIBLE FOR CHRISTMAS SIS X

24

I HOPE CANCER GET'S CANCER
THEN DIES.

29

IF I WAS PRESIDENT

ISIS WOULD BE
WASWAS !

21

IF YOU RAN LIKE YOUR MOUTH YOU'D
BE IN GOOD SHAPE

26

WE MAKE A LIVING BY WHAT WE GET,
WE MAKE A LIFE BY WHAT WE GIVE.

18

You've
Never
Felt
Pain
Until
You've
Felt
Love

22

DEAR HEART,

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN.

SINCERELY,
YOUR BRAIN.

22

I LOVE THE KIND OF HUGS ..
WHEN YOU CAN PHYSICALLY FEEL THE SADNESS LEAVE YOUR BODY ..

24

PRAYER FOR AMERICA

DEAR GOD
I BOW MY HEAD
AND ASK
IF IT BE THY WILL
PLEASE SAVE
THIS LAND FROM
THOSE WHO
SEEK TO DESTROY
IT. <3

23

I
Don't
Trust
People That Bite Ice Cream Without
Flinching..
That Shit's
Not Natural !!

35

CAN
WE
PLEASE
LAST
FOREVER?

22

BE WARNED:

I'M BORED AND THAT COULD BE DANGEROUS !

30

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A good time to keep your mouth shut,
is when you're in deep water !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

23

I HATE BRUSHING MY TEETH AT NIGHT BECAUSE THAT SIGNIFIES YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE FOOD AND I'M JUST NOT READY FOR THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT YET !

35

IF YOU'RE
HAPPY
AND YOU
KNOW IT...
IT'S YOUR
MED'S

27

REMEMBER:

IF YOU NEED A HELPING HAND, IT'S AT THE END OF YOUR ARM."

25

EVERYONE
IS GIFTED BUT MOST PEOPLE NEVER
OPEN THEIR
PACKAGE.

20

PERHAP'S OUR EYE'S NEED TO BE WASHED BY OUR TEAR'S ONCE IN A WHILE,
SO THAT WE CAN SEE LIFE WITH A CLEARER VIEW AGAIN .

19

DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS
AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

22

SORRY I ACTED CRAZY.....
IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.

23

I AM NOT A SNACK FOR YOUR STARVING EGO.
I AM SOUL FOOD FOR SOMEONE THAT ACTUALLY HAS ONE !

15

Always
Trust
Your Heart,
It may be on the left,
But it is always Right x

28

I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING.... I STILL HAVE SOME OF IT LEFT.

27

DON'T
SMOTHER EACH OTHER.
NO ONE CAN GROW IN THE SHADE.

20

It's Official JESUS Was IRISH
He had 12 Drinking friend's
He Trained as a Carpenter
to work on Building's,
He Lived with His Mother
until he was 33,
He Thought his Mother was
a Virgin,
His Mother Thought He
Was GOD .....

27

SOMETIMES SUCCESS IS GETTING THE LAUNDRY INTO THE DRYER BEFORE THE MILDEW SETS IN .

28

NO, I'M NOT INSULTED WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME SENSITIVE. FEELING THINGS DEEPLY IS MY SUPER POWER,
I'M AN EMPATHETIC BADASS.

20

I
DON'T
WAN'T
PERFECT
I
WAN'T
HONEST

22

I
Wish
R.I.P.
meant
Return
If
Possible x

33

ALWAYS
HAVE
AN
ESCAPE
PLAN

16

I
NEED
A
NEW
FRIEND
THE
LAST
ONE
ESCAPED

25

HELLO 911.

YES WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY.

TWO BOY'S ARE FIGHTING FOR ME,

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH IT MISS,

THE UGLY ONE IS WINNING

20

RAIN FALL'S BECAUSE THE CLOUDS CAN NO LONGER CARRY THE WEIGHT,
TEARS FALL BECAUSE THE HEART CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THE PAIN x

23

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY

"ACT LIKE AN ADULT"

HAVE YOU SEEN ADULTS LATELY?
THAT'S A HORRIBLE IDEA !

21

MOTHER NATURE HAS THE BEST BOX OF CRAYONS.

23

YOUR TIME AS A CATERPILLAR HAS EXPIRED.

YOUR WING'S ARE READY.

}••{
'

19

I AM NOT GOING
TO CENSOR
MYSELF
TO COMFORT YOUR IGNORANCE .

25

IN
CASE
NOBODY
TOLD
YOU
TODAY
YOU
ARE
GOOD ENOUGH !

27

DAD, DID YOU KNOW, IN OTHER COUNTRIES YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR WIFE IS UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED?

IT'S LIKE THAT EVERYWHERE SON....

29

OKAY
I HAD SOME COFFEE,
YOU MAY SPEAK.

25

I'M NOT A BITCH,
I'M A TELLER OF UNFORTUNATE TRUTHS.

25

I'M NOT IMPRESSED BY MONEY, SOCIAL STATUS,OR JOB TITLES...
I'M IMPRESSED BY THE WAY SOMEONE TREATS OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

29

GOD
PROTECT
ME FROM ANYTHING THAT WASN'T SENT BY YOU.

16

ALWAYS
BRING
YOUR OWN
SUNSHINE !

20

YOU CANNOT SAVE PEOPLE....
YOU CAN ONLY LOVE THEM.

19

NOVINOPHIBA

THE FEAR OF RUNNING OUT OF WINE

19

TODAY I'M WEARING A LOVELY SHADE OF I SLEPT LIKE CRAP SO DON'T PISS ME OFF!

24

SEX IS LIKE COOKING.
EVERYONE CAN DO IT, BUT ONLY SOME MAKE IT DELICIOUS !

21

I'M GLAD I'VE GOT BOOBS......

THE LAST THING I NEED IS PEOPLE MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH ME.

34

AM I STRONG ENOUGH
TO START AGAIN?

20

I KNOW GOD WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING I CAN'T HANDLE...
I JUST WISH HE DIDN'T TRUST ME SO MUCH.

26

SOMETIMES YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU JUST CLICK,
I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT,
BUT I SURE BELIEVE IN THAT CLICK.

21

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT!
THANK YOUR EX...

15

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MERRY
EVERYTHING
AND A
HAPPY
ALWAYS BOLDIES!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

27

YOU
NEVER
KNOW WHAT
YOU HAVE...
UNTIL YOU CLEAN YOUR ROOM !

26

IF
YOU
NEED
ME
CALL
ME......
ON
MY
SHELL

21

We can only blame ourselves For all the Crime and Violence today.
We Removed All The Phone Booths And Now SUPERMAN
Has NOWWHERE TO CHANGE !!!

27

I
DON'T
SNORE
I
DREAM
I
AM
A
MOTORCYCLE.

22

MY IDEA OF
"HELP FROM ABOVE"

IS A SNIPER ON THE
ROOF!

18

THAT'S THE THING ABOUT 'WHAT IFS,'
THEY DON'T MATTER, THEY DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING,
ALL THEY DO IS MAKE YOU UNABLE TO HEAL.

18

YOU
CAN'T
BE
ME

21

DID I LIKE
DUMMY ANOTHER
TO IT SHOW IDIOT AN LIKE THIS READ TO TRYING TIME SWEET YOUR TOOK YOU SINCE.

NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!

21

MARRIAGE:

WHEN DATING GOES TOO FAR !

25

"PRAY FOR THE DEAD

AND FIGHT LIKE HELL FOR THE LIVING."

19

SHUTTING YOU UP WITH A HARD KISS THAT LEAVES YOU,
BREATHLESS, SHAKY, TREMBLING, WANTING.

16

YOU REALLY NEVER REALISE WHAT YOU HAVE TILL IT'S GONE.....
TOILET PAPER IS A GOOD EXAMPLE ?

20

BOY: "MOM, CAN I GO BUNGEE JUMPING"
MOM:
"NO, YOU CAME IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE THE RUBBER BROKE,
I DON'T WAN'T YOU TO GO OUT THE SAME WAY."

21

PRAYER GIVES A MAN THE OPPORTUNITY
OF GETTING TO KNOW A GENTLEMAN HE HARDLY EVER MEETS,
I DO NOT MEAN HIS MAKER, BUT HIMSELF.

-William Inge.

13

WHAT'S

69+69?
A DINNER FOR FOUR!

23

I FEEL LIKE I'M WAITING ON SOMETHING THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!

19

That
Awkward
Moment when you're singing a song you used to sing a lot as a kid...

And You Suddenly
Understand The Lyrics 00H !!!

33

I do it cos I can,I do it cos I want to,I want to cos You said I Couldnt:

35

I STUFFED THE TURKEY WITH XANAX
SO YALL HAVE A RELAXING
HOLIDAY THIS YEAR ;-))

21

I DID NOT HAVE E-MAIL RELATION'S WITH THAT SERVER!

23

A WOMAN IS NEVER SEXIER THAN WHEN SHE IS COMFORTABLE IN HER CLOTHES.

20

I WAS GONNA QUIT ALL MY BAD HABITS,
BUT THEN IT OCCURED TO ME,
NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER !!

23

GIVE YOURSELF SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO THAT ISN'T A PERSON.

21

ROSES ARE RED......
MONDAY WAS TWISTED,
THEN I REMEMBERED BOLDOMATIC EXISTED!

23

Be That Kind of Person That when your Feet Hit The Floor in The morning The Devil Say's...

Oh Shit She 's Up !

20

REMEMBER THIS;

TRUST IS BUILT IN DROPS AND LOST IN BUCKETS.

19

I DID NOT COME TO TEACH YOU.

I CAME TO LOVE YOU.

LOVE WILL TEACH YOU.

24

UNLESS YOU'RE A PREGNANCY TEST....

TAKE YOUR NEGATIVITY ELSEWHERE!

25

WHEN THE CANNABIS KICKS IN AND YOUR ARTHRITIS FEELS BETTER SO YOU CAN FINALLY START KNITTING AGAIN!

16

WHAT IF YOUR DOG ONE DAY JUST RANDOMLY SAID,

"NOBODY IS GOING TO BELIEVE YOU"

AND NEVER SPOKE AGAIN? •.•

22

COME ON INNER PEACE

I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

27

If a mother ask's you a question it's better to tell the truth,

Because chances are she's
asking,

Because She Already
Know's the Answer ;-)

32

WHEN
LIFE
GIVES
YOU
CURVES,
FLAUNT
THEM

24

HIDE YOUR EYES
DARLING PEOPLE CAN SEE YOUR HEART THROUGH THEM.

21

ALL MEN SHOULD MAKE COFFEE FOR THEIR WOMEN... IT SAY'S IT RIGHT HERE IN THE BIBLE... "HEBREW"

21

IF YOU'RE NOT DOING WHAT YOU LOVE,
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.

21

SOMETIME'S I FEEL LIKE THROWING IN THE TOWEL BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN'S.....
MORE LAUNDRY !

19

LIFE
IS
A
DICK
SOMETIME'S
IT
GET'S
HARD
FOR
NO
REASON!

25

SEVEN SHITTIEST SINS:
GREED: I WAN'T SHIT,
ENVY: I WAN'T YOUR SHIT,
WRATH: I'M GOING TO
WRECK YOUR SHIT,
LUST: I'M INTO SOME
FREAKY SHIT,
GLUTTONY: THIS IS SOME
TASTY SHIT,
SLOTH: I DON'T FEEL LIKE
DOING SHIT,
PRIDE: I AM THE SHIT.

26

YOU SAY TOMATO,
I SAY BLOODY MARY!

21

IF YOU WAN'T TO BE HAPPY,
DON'T THINK.

23

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE MY ANGER OUT ON YOUR FACE,
BUT I SEE GENETIC'S HAS ALREADY PUT YOU THROUGH ENOUGH SUFFERING ALREADY!

16

DON'T
CRY WHEN THE SUN IS GONE,
BECAUSE THE TEAR'S WON'T LET YOU SEE THE STAR'S...

***************************

21

marriage
is like a public toilet,
Those outside are waiting to get in,
Those inside are
Desperate to get out ..

30

YOUR FRIENDSHIP HAS HELPED ME GROW, KEPT ME GROUNDED, LIFTED MY SPIRIT, AND BRIGHTENED MY LIFE.
THANK YOU!

19

PATIENCE AND TIME DO MORE THAN STRENGTH OR PASSION.

16

YOU DON'T CROSS MY MIND '
YOU LIVE IN IT.

20

"I MYSELF
AM ENTIRELY

MADE OF
FLAWS,

STITCHED
TOGETHER
WITH GOOD
INTENTIONS.

=================

15

SOMETIMES OUR LIGHT GOES OUT BUT IS BLOWN INTO FLAME BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
EACH OF US OWES DEEPEST THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAVE REKINDLED THIS LIGHT.

18

ASKHOLE
A Person who
Constantly Asks
For Your Advice,

Yet Always Does
The opposite
of what you told
Them ?

32

ONCE
UPON
A TIME,
A FEW MISTAKES
AGO.

17

The other day
someone told me I could make Ice Cubes with left over wine

I was Confused,
WTF Is left over Wine?!

28

MAY
YOUR
COFFEE BE HOT

AND YOUR EYELINER BE EVEN .

22

I WISH WE WERE ALL BORN WITH TATTOOS IDENTICAL TO OUR SOULMATES SO WE CAN FIND EACHOTHER RATHER THAN WASTE OUR TIME ON PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT US.

21

ON THE ROAD BETWEEN HOME AND FRIENDS,
GRASS DOES NOT GROW.

14

I FINALLY QUIT DRINKING FOR GOOD,
NOW I DRINK FOR EVIL ;-)

25

DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS?

I HAVE AN AUNT WHO IS VOTING FOR DONALD TRUMP !

27

Sharks Aren't So Bad...
If a Stranger came into my House wearing only a Speedo,
I Would Probably Attack Him Too !

20

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PERSON WHO ENJOYS YOUR MADNESS..
NOT AN IDIOT WHO FORCES YOU TO BE NORMAL.!

17

The best thing about the worst time in your life is that you get to see the true colours of people you care for.

19

AS LONG AS EVERYTHING
GOES MY WAY,
I'M TOTALLY FLEXIBLE.

22

They
Keep
Saying
My
Prince
Will Come ?
I
Think
Mine
Got Hit By A TRUCK !

26

Son..What IS GAY!

DAD.. IT Means HAPPY!

SON.. Are You Happy
dad?

DAD.. No son I'm Married

31

BEING AN ADULT IS MOSTLY BEING EXHAUSTED,
WISHING YOU HADN'T MADE PLAN'S AND WONDERING HOW YOU HURT YOUR BACK?

18

Instead
of
an
Easter Egg
Hunt,
I'm
Having
A REMOTE CONTROL
HUNT ;-))

17

DON'T
Look
Back
You're
Not
Going
That
Way

27

DEJA MOO

when you know you've Heard This BULLSHIT
BEFORE

27

I'M
NOT
LATE'
I'M
ON
IRISH
TIME ;-))

19

OH! THE STORIE'S
I COULD TELL....
IF ONLY I COULD REMEMBER THEM!

22

IT'S ABOUT THE WAY YOU LOVE NOT WHO YOU LOVE, WHO YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH, THE SAME WAY IT'S ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DO, NOT WHAT YOU SAY.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE.

15

LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THE PREACHER WON'T HAVE TO LIE AT YOUR FUNERAL.

18

A MAN WALKED INTO A LIBRARY AND ASKED FOR A BOOK ON HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE,
THE LIBRARIAN SAID

" NO FK OFF YOU WON'T BRING IT BACK"

15

SO A FEW MONTH'S AGO I WAS ON MY PERIOD AND MY DAD KEPT SNEAKING BAR'S OF CHOCOLATE UNDER MY BEDROOM DOOR THEN RAN DOWNSTAIR'S SHOUTING

" SATAN HAS BEEN FED"

23

THERE ARE PLENTY OF WAYS TO DIE,
BUT ONLY LOVE CAN KILL AND KEEP YOU ALIVE TO FEEL IT.

15

99% OF SOCKS ARE SINGLE AND YOU DON'T SEE THEM CRY ABOUT IT ?

19

BEHIND
THE
MASK'S
FACE'S
SUFFER
LONELINESS.

21

YES
I'VE
DECIDED
FEBRUARY IS A TRIAL MONTH
TOO,

I'LL SORT MY LIFE OUT IN MARCH.

21

SUCCESS COMES IN CANS.
FAILURES IN
CAN'TS .

22

IF YOU'RE WATCHING A SUNSET, SOMEONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EARTH IS WATCHING THE SAME SUN RISE.

22

I'M NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT.....
SOME PIECES ARE MISSING.

20

À
BÉAUTÍFÛLL
SÔÙL
ÍS
NÈVÈR
FÔRGÔTTÈN

17

THERE ARE VERY FEW JOBS THAT ACTUALLY REQUIRE A PENIS OR A VAGINA,
ALL OTHER JOBS SHOULD BE OPEN TO EVERYBODY !!

17

HUGS WERE INVENTED TO LET PEOPLE KNOW YOU LOVE THEM WITHOUT SAYING A WORD.

15

SAW IT
LIKED IT
ASKED GRANNY
GOT IT :-)

17

IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE SET THEM FREE,

IF THEY DON'T COME BACK,
CALL THEM WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK •_•

22

What
If I
Licked
The Dentist's
Fingers
While
They Were In
My Mouth

?????

26

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT !

OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN?

25

"LET'S BE NAUGHTY AND SAVE SANTA THE TRIP"

16

YOU LOST YOUR PHONE AND IT'S ON SILENT?

TOO BAD,
IF YOU LIKED IT YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT !

24

DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF,
THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE THAT CAN DO THAT FOR YOU, LOVE YOURSELF AND BE PROUD OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO.... EVEN MISTAKES MEAN YOU'RE TRYING !

21

THE TROUBLE WITH LIFE IT'S A DO-IT-YOURSELF KIT WITH NO INSTRUCTIONS.

27

MY FRIEND,
IF I COULD GIVE YOU ONE THING, I WOULD WISH FOR YOU THE ABILITY TO SEE YOURSELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU, THEN YOU WOULD REALIZE WHAT A TRULY SPECIAL PERSON YOU ARE ^_^

19

PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES!

CAN I HAVE A PINK STRAIT JACKET •_•

17

DON'T
PISS
ON
ME
AND
TELL
ME
IT'S
RAINING

22

I'LL GET HIS CLOTHES OFF WITH THE TELEPATHIC
POWER OF MY MIND.

MUUUAAA!

17

"IF NOBODY HATE'S YOU,
YOU'RE
DOING SOMETHING WRONG"

- DR HOUSE:

19

BOLD
STRIPES
BRIGHT
STARS
BRAVE
HEARTS <3

17

GETTING OVER A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE IS MUCH LIKE CROSSING MONKEY BAR'S...

YOU HAVE TO LET GO AT SOME POINT IN ORDER TO MOVE FORWARD <3

20

LATTE
(n) ITALIAN FOR
"YOU PAID TO
MUCH FOR THAT
COFFEE".

16

I HAVE
ABSOLUTELY
NO DESIRE TO FIT IN.

28

BY ALL MEANS LETS BE OPEN MINDED,
BUT NOT SO OPEN MINDED THAT OUR BRAINS FALL OUT !

18

EVERY VILLAIN HAS A REASON OR PURPOSE FOR THEIR ACTIONS...

EXCEPT THE JÔKÈR
HE DID IT FOR THE LOLZ.

22

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE MY ONLY SUNSHINE' YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN SKIES ARE GREY' YOU NEVER KNOW DEAR HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU <3 PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY :-)

20

HOME
IS
WHERE
THE
DOG/CAT
HAIR
STICKS TO EVERYTHING
EXCEPT
THE
DOG/ CAT

12

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I SHOULD BE MORE PRODUCTIVE"

DO YOU THINK THIS COCTKTAIL MADE ITSELF ?

22

Love
When
Your
Ready
Not
When
You're
Lonely x

29

WORLD'S MOST USELESS JOB...
OLYMPIC SWIMMER'S LIFEGUARD....

22

show more

About Help Contact Copyright Privacy Terms