roosterbear's Posts

I think I red the mission wrong

#red

Krisargent, Andromenadda, JMBis, Sherry89, BoldDelight and CurrentNobody like this

Depression is a prison that only exists in your head.

That often makes escape impossible.

#prison

ZeepBella, HeartOnFire, Krisargent, Andromenadda, JMBis, Sherry89, buzzielizzy, juliettebravo, Fionacatherine and AndSheCame like this

reposted by siouxz

I have forgotten how freedom feels

#prison

Krisargent, Andromenadda, buzzielizzy, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

The self-inflicted hell that Cheato is in, trying to evade punishment for his crimes, is a kind of prison.

He still needs to go to a more literal prison, though.

#prison

buzzielizzy and Fionacatherine like this

How can I
release you
from your prison

if you refuse
to believe
the door
has no lock?

#prison

Krisargent, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

Krisargent, buzzielizzy, HeartOnFire, UserOne and CurrentNobody like this

HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody and UserOne like this

When you feel burned out

it can be hard to restart
your inner fire.

#fire

Krisargent, buzzielizzy, busylizzie1, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine and AndSheCame like this

Joe Isuzu would be a more honest president.

#orange

HeartOnFire likes this

The juice better be worth the squeeze.

#orange

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, petegutz2, BoldDelight, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

telling someone to calm down

is maybe the least effective way to calm someone down

Reposted from roosterbear

Krisargent, locupleto, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

It's almost impossible to distinguish bravery from stupidity from mere observation.

Reposted from roosterbear

Krisargent, locupleto, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

A dog can treat you like a piece of furniture and make it feel like the most sincere form of love and affection.

Reposted from roosterbear

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

No, I did NOT pee in your sink.

You just didn't realize your bathroom was equipped with a urinal.

Reposted from roosterbear

#oops

Krisargent, BoldDelight, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

I'm reminded of a piece by David Sedaris, in which he compares the candidates in an election to the menu choices on a flight (back when they still served food). The flight attendant comes by, and asks if you'd like the chicken, or the human shit with broken glass.

The undecided voter is the one who asks how the chicken is prepared.

Reposted from roosterbear

Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

Thank you, John Olliver, for this visual:

Cheato smiling looks like throwing dentures at a jack-o-lantern.

#orange

HeartOnFire and CurrentNobody like this

HOW'S THAT HERD MENTALITY WORKING OUT FOR YA?

BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, karlokoenig, CurrentNobody and petegutz2 like this

Sometimes the bed has no right side.

#inspiredby, @CurrentNobody

Krisargent, juliettebravo, Ziya, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

A vaccine will not bring my uncle back.

#govote

Campo, UserOne, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, CurrentNobody, petegutz2 and karlokoenig like this

reposted by karlokoenig

Weird just
means different

so coming from
some people
that's a compliment.

HeartOnFire, ZeepBella, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by CurrentNobody

Some of my biggest wins looked like disasters at the time.

projecto, Ziya, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, BoldDelight, CurrentNobody and karlokoenig like this

I'm here!

You can adore me now.

#presence

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, petegutz2, juliettebravo, karlokoenig, CurrentNobody and AndSheCame like this

Your presence is requested for the rest of my life.

#presence

petegutz2, busylizzie, ZeepBella, HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody, juliettebravo and AndSheCame like this

"How can I miss you if you won't leave?"

#presence, #ashleighbrilliant, #quoteable

busylizzie, HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody and juliettebravo like this

Cheato's 2nd term agenda: stay out of prison, run the clock on statutes of limitations on his grifty schemes.

HeartOnFire, busylizzie and CurrentNobody like this

I like to support the political party that's not actively trying to kill us all.

Campo, Drakonan, EmilyHeller, MarcellaA, Boldomatic, Fionacatherine, lonelyscribe, HeartOnFire, perellano, Bettydent and 8 others like this

reposted by UserOne and Boldomatic

The GOP covention will feature a flying monkey flyby because why not

HeartOnFire, busylizzie, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

No amount of praise can overcome a lack of faith in yourself.

#fact

HeartOnFire, sudeshnarocks, Ziya, juliettebravo, BoldDelight, AndSheCame and MyM like this

Now that a former prosecutor is on the Democratic ticket,
I hope the White House is well stocked on adult diapers, cuz I'm guessing Cheato is shitting his pants constantly.

HeartOnFire and sudeshnarocks like this

Make
America
SAFE
Again

UserOne, HeartOnFire, Ziya, juliettebravo and AndSheCame like this

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

Reposted from Suuske

UserOne, karlokoenig, Suuske, SourceBlack, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

Is there a category of scandal that Cheato has NOT had yet?

#epic

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Epic failure is still failure.

#epic

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and siouxz like this

If Cheato could read, and got his tiny hands on LoTR, he'd be cheering for Sauron, label Frodo as ANTIFA for destroying the Ring, and demanding that Barr make a new One for him.

#bigquestions

HeartOnFire, karlokoenig and juliettebravo like this

When will we ever learn?

#bigquestions

Krisargent, swatchUSA, eulekauzig, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, Carolapigen, sudeshnarocks, CurrentNobody, juliettebravo, AndSheCame and 2 others like this

reposted by swatchUSA and DarkBlack

The most important skill for a good therapist to have is knowing how to ask the right questions.

#bigquestions

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, Carolapigen, CurrentNobody, juliettebravo and AndSheCame like this

I'm not making fun of you

I'm making fun with you

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Yes, I know, Karen...

THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TO YOU

#karen

perellano, HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody and karlokoenig like this

The emperor has no brains.

damon.lindsay2, BoldDelight, HeartOnFire and UserOne like this

Sprinkles are for winners.

CurrentNobody, HeartOnFire and Fionacatherine like this

I AM UNWILLING TO DIE

TO FEED CHEATO'S EGO

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, karlokoenig, Fionacatherine, UserOne and CurrentNobody like this

The hardest walls to scale are the invisible ones.

Reposted from roosterbear

HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody, BoldDelight and karlokoenig like this

Before you spend even a
penny of your rainy day fund

stop for a moment
and make sure
it's actually
raining.

Reposted from roosterbear

Krisargent and CurrentNobody like this

You might feel broken, but you are just wounded.

Wounds heal.

Reposted from roosterbear

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody and juliettebravo like this

I wonder if we will ever be able to enjoy seeing a movie in a theater again.

CurrentNobody, HeartOnFire, sudeshnarocks and juliettebravo like this

Dead people are the worst customers

bold, Campo, Stig300, busylizzie, Ziya, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, HeartOnFire, sudeshnarocks, juliettebravo and 1 other like this

Never let a crisis (or pie!) go to waste.

#pie!

HeartOnFire, sudeshnarocks, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

Do not ask for whom the pie calls.

It calls for thee.

#pie!

HeartOnFire, CurrentNobody, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

You are welcome to kiss my ass on your way out.

#welcome, #airkisses

HeartOnFire, MonoGate, juliettebravo, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

Charity that comes with a side of passive aggressive resentment isn't charity at all.

HeartOnFire, AndSheCame, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Money talks.

But it says some fucked up shit.

HeartOnFire, busylizzie, damon.lindsay2, karlokoenig, UserOne, LordoftheWhys, AndSheCame, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

I know I married
the right guy

because being together 24/7 is what makes all the other shit tolerable

(and I still love him)

CurrentNobody, damon.lindsay2, sudeshnarocks, AndSheCame, Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, SourceBlack, JodieT, Ziya, juliettebravo and 1 other like this

Maybe there's at least one job that we should stop treating like it's an entry level position.

Even if the applicant claims to be really really wealthy.

#potus

petegutz2, bold, CurrentNobody, Fionacatherine, sudeshnarocks, HeartOnFire, SourceBlack, JodieT, Ziya and juliettebravo like this

BY THIS TIME
NEXT YEAR

WE MIGHT
ACTUALLY
HAVE A
GROWNUP
IN CHARGE
AGAIN.

#potus

Krisargent, atheist, petegutz2, Campo, CurrentNobody, damon.lindsay2, sudeshnarocks, Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, SourceBlack and 3 others like this

Suggesting people injest bleach to treat Covid-19 is just another piece of Cheato's ongoing effort to whiten America.

#overheard

HeartOnFire, busylizzie, Ziya, juliettebravo and karlokoenig like this

There is no way to deny it anymore:

The GOP hates us all, and is trying to kill as many of us as it can.

#enough

HeartOnFire and Fionacatherine like this

I know it's selfish, but I really hope that Covid-19 doesn't delay Pizza Hut's plans to offer dairy free cheese (cheez?) on their pizzas in May.

BoldDelight, CurrentNobody, JodieT and Fionacatherine like this

We won't get "back to normal"

because what we
used to call
"normal"

no longer exists.

#aftermath

Wuff, HeartOnFire, perellano, Fionacatherine, heidierdbeer, Ziya, swatchUSA, BoldDelight, UserOne and AndSheCame like this

reposted by swatchUSA

We're not trapped in here with the virus.

The virus is trapped in here with us.

#xkcd

HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

Be worthy of the love and loyalty your dog gives you.

HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, juliettebravo and karlokoenig like this

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose."

•Dolly Parton

Reposted from jaybirdbold

Krisargent, CurrentNobody, Ziya, AndSheCame and BoldDelight like this

IF YOU DO NOT MAKE TIME FOR YOUR WELLNESS,
YOU WILL BE FORCED TO MAKE TIME FOR YOUR ILLNESS.

Reposted from busylizzie

Krisargent, busylizzie, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and BoldDelight like this

Dear Apple:

Forcing me to connect to wifi to update an app on my iPhone, given I have UNLIMITED DATA, is not being protective, it's being smothering.

It also means I'm unlikely to ever use another iPhone.

CurrentNobody likes this

Everything will be okay in the end.

If it's not okay it's not the end.

Reposted from anonymous

#PLO

Krisargent, BoldDelight, UserOne, petegutz2, CurrentNobody and AndSheCame like this

I wish Cheato would practice "Stay Home" instead of his daily
Ego Petting, where he exercises the lie dispensing hole
on his face.

#stayhome

HeartOnFire, karlokoenig, CurrentNobody and Fionacatherine like this

Now if we could just get McTurtle to do his job in the Senate, and pass a bill to help people weather the hit to everyone's wallet, we'd be in good shape!

#stayhome

HeartOnFire and juliettebravo like this

FaceTime, Skype, Zoom... so many ways
to keep in touch with people now without putting anyone at risk.

We are actually lucky that this is happening now.

#stayhome

Krisargent, HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, CurrentNobody, AndSheCame and Ziya like this

You might have to talk to the people you live with.

Saving lives usually requires a bit more sacrifice than that.

#stayhome

Krisargent, Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, juliettebravo and CurrentNobody like this

gee, having time to binge watch Hulu et al, try out new recipes, read a book...

OH THE HORROR

#stayhome

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, CurrentNobody and Ziya like this

If the building is called a WELCOME CENTER, the rent-a-cop standing next to a PUBLIC restroom shouldn't be telling people that the restroom is closed and cannot be used during normal business hours.

HeartOnFire and CurrentNobody like this

MY SOCIAL
DISTANCING
PROTOCOL

Faux "News" viewer: 6000 ft

Everyone else: 6 ft

HeartOnFire, Ziya, CurrentNobody and petegutz2 like this

It will be interesting to see if Faux "News" viewership drops this year, because idiots who think it's fun to ignore warnings about social distancing are,
um... let's say "well represented" in that group, and thus more likely to die.

HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, Ziya, karlokoenig, CurrentNobody and petegutz2 like this

Ziya, Campo, HeartOnFire, sudeshnarocks, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

'Tonight's the night that the lights went out on Broadway...
Tonight's the night Trump blamed an innocent man...
So don't trust your soul to no New York City Cheetoh...
Cuz the Prez in this land's got bloodstains on his hands.'

Reposted from LordoftheWhys

karlokoenig and Ziya like this

Have we tried unplugging 2020, waiting 10 seconds and plugging it back in?

Reposted from PaulasPlaybook

#worthatry

BoldDelight, karlokoenig, UserOne, AndSheCame and LordoftheWhys like this

Cheato's behavior reminds me of the Easy setting on the app Plague Inc.

#quarantine

LordoftheWhys, karlokoenig, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

A travel ban with an exception for the country with one of Cheato's shitty golf courses is stupid, if the goal is to deal with Covid-19.

I'm skeptical that the travel ban has anything to do with that.

#quarantine

karlokoenig, Fionacatherine and petegutz2 like this

If we had quarantined
a certain orange
sh!tgibbon 4 years ago, maybe we would be in a better position to deal with The Virus.

#quarantine

HeartOnFire, karlokoenig and Fionacatherine like this

Who would have guessed that the popularity of air kisses would extend beyond drag queens?

#quarantine

Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, BoldDelight, AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, LordoftheWhys, sudeshnarocks, Ziya and karlokoenig like this

I have the best mother.

One way I know this
is that she helps without being asked, generously, at a time when I really need it.

AndSheCame, CurrentNobody, LordoftheWhys, Ziya, karlokoenig and HeartOnFire like this

My lack of mobility pairs well with the social pressure to avoid crowds of people.

#quarantine

BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, CurrentNobody, HeartOnFire, LordoftheWhys and sudeshnarocks like this

You can't be truly helpful without first asking "(how) can I help?"

The reply you imagine will likely have nothing in common with the actual reply.

#wisewords

Ziya, CurrentNobody and AndSheCame like this

reposted by RealA

the more you look down on a stranger

the more inevitable you'll be oblivious to the wisdom they could have shared with you

#wisewords

Ziya, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame, HeartOnFire and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

Think you can understand how being homeless feels, with no firsthand experience? or even secondhand?

You don't know shit. It sucks in a million new ways every fucking day, and shows you things about your friends you wish you could forget.

#wisewords

karlokoenig, Ziya, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame, HeartOnFire and CurrentNobody like this

If someone keeps being Lucy to your Charlie Brown, and pulling that football away before you can kick it, maybe the problem is less about Lucy being mean, and more about your failure to see Lucy as she actually is.

#wisewords

Hank-the-knife, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig, Ziya, HeartOnFire and AndSheCame like this

If your life keeps playing out like the plot to every episode of Three's Company, sooner or later you'll get tired of falling into the same traps you keep setting for yourself.

#wisewords

Fionacatherine, Ziya, HeartOnFire, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

You can keep
pretending to be
the good guy

but if you keep acting
like a villain, you're
not fooling anyone.

#wisewords

Fionacatherine, Ziya, HeartOnFire and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

Hiding in your own nonsense reality bubble is okay, until you go outside and expect the Real World to work the same way.

#wisewords

Krisargent, perellano, projecto, Convo_Ray, juliettebravo, Drakonan, evr, erikvisser, mars118, streetmedic and 19 others like this

reposted by Ziya, karlokoenig, Mathilda, gravitas11, Boldomatic, 02love14 and RealA

Pain is one way to remind yourself "oh yeah, this didn't work, let's not do that again."

A high pain tolerance can mean repeating a lesson a few times before it truly registers.

#wisewords

Fionacatherine, Ziya, HeartOnFire, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

What some call "failure" is simply learning a lesson you didn't plan to learn, in a way you didn't expect.

Remove the negative label and it's just more wisdom you've earned.

#wisewords

karlokoenig, Fionacatherine, Ziya, HeartOnFire, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

"Apes don't read philosophy!"

"Apes can read it; they just don't understand it."

#wisewords, #afishcalledwanda, #moviequotes

UserOne, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

the wisest words
are useless
if they simply
fly unnoticed
over the heads
of fools

#wisewords

Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, AndSheCame, UserOne, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

The greatest gift you can give a person is to be a mirror, showing them why they matter when they can't see it.

#wisewords

Fionacatherine, HeartOnFire, AndSheCame, UserOne, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

it's
never
too late

until it is.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

HeartOnFire, AndSheCame, karlokoenig, UserOne, Ziya and CurrentNobody like this

Every bad choice
started off
looking
like a good move.

At least
to someone.

Or at least
like not a bad move.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

BoldDelight, AndSheCame and Ziya like this

The absence
of a happy ending

doesn't have to negate

the happiness that
preceded the ending
you did get.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

HeartOnFire, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

I think I've reached a point where I am done learning through pain

but as it turns out, pain is still a very good teacher.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

BoldDelight, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

The past performance
of a stock does not
predict future behavior.

People are like that.

Don't expect everyone
to betray you, just
because a trusted
friend just did.

#wisewords

HeartOnFire, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

you might have
our things (for now)

but I refuse to
let you make me cynical,
or punish anyone
in my future
for your sins.

#wisewords

BoldDelight, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

Knowing you were
going to screw
me over, and how,
just saddens me.

Being just as certain
that karma will give you
the spanking you deserve
does not comfort me.

AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

The sting of an insult is a blessing; the words hurt because part of you believes them, or believes you deserve the abuse.

You don't.

You deserve love and acceptance, especially from yourself.

#wisewords

BoldDelight, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame, shankarrkn and CurrentNobody like this

reposted by RealA

Adulthood is when you unlearn all the harmful things you were taught about yourself as a child.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

BoldDelight, Fionacatherine, AndSheCame and CurrentNobody like this

Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from reaction to your speech.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

BoldDelight, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig and CurrentNobody like this

Love is sweet like sugar.

Revenge is sweet like aspartame.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

Selinzoe, Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

The circus can only keep coming to town as long as we keep buying tickets to see it.

Reposted from roosterbear

#wisewords

HeartOnFire and swatchUSA like this

Where's my flying car?

Somebody needs to get busy making it.

#science

swatchUSA, HeartOnFire, busylizzie, juliettebravo, karlokoenig and UserOne like this

STAND BACK

I'm going
to do some
SCIENCE!

#science

swatchUSA, HeartOnFire, busylizzie, juliettebravo, karlokoenig and UserOne like this

Invading our space so you can spam it with ads for prostitutes (that aren't even written cleverly) is the mark of a total douche.

I hope someday you grow up enough to feel ashamed of yourself.

HeartOnFire, AndSheCame, BoldDelight, Fionacatherine and karlokoenig like this

reposted by karlokoenig

Beards, and our impulse to shave them, are a reminder that in geological terms, we've just barely come down from the trees.

#beard

BoldDelight likes this

I have
the best mother in the world.

HeartOnFire, karlokoenig, juliettebravo, Fionacatherine and AndSheCame like this

How many hours of my life will be spent

scraping hair off my face and neck?

#beard

BoldDelight and Campo like this

Thanks for being such a hot mess.

Avoiding your chaos and drama helped me see I've gotten stronger and wiser.

Maybe I'm done using pain to teach me, finally.

HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, juliettebravo, UserOne and AndSheCame like this

It is absolutely possible to be both a dog person and a cat person.

HeartOnFire, Ziya and JodieT like this

It's amazing how being
reunited with my dog, feeling the warmth of his body against my ribs, hearing him gently snoring

can make all that shit that was wearing me down

vanish.

HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig, Ziya and JodieT like this

reposted by karlokoenig and RealA

It's adorable

how you haven't completely lost all hope

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo and UserOne like this

It's hard to maintain faith in humanity

when your desperate scream for help is met with deafening silence.

HeartOnFire and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by RealA

I'm suffering from Motivation Deficit Disorder today.

(Is there a pill for that?)

#motivation

HeartOnFire, UserOne, Bettydent and juliettebravo like this

The early bird catches the worm.

Don't assume you are the bird in this scenario.

#motivation

HeartOnFire, UserOne, juliettebravo and karlokoenig like this

reposted by RealA

if there were a ceiling on how much wealth one person could hoard

there would be plenty of wealth to go around.

#provocative

UserOne, HeartOnFire, juliettebravo, LordoftheWhys and Fionacatherine like this

WHY MUST WE EQUATE PLEASURE WITH DEMONS

AND SELF SACRIFICE WITH SAINTHOOD?

MAYBE THAT'S BACKWARDS.

#provocative

UserOne, HeartOnFire, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

24 hours is
an eternity when you're hungry
and broke

yet gone in an instant when you have an impossible deadline

#24hours

HeartOnFire and UserOne like this

If you tell me
you're going
to help me move,
don't just tell me
that I've got
TOO MUCH STUFF
then play with your cellphone while refusing
to lift anything weighing more than 3 ounces.

That is not helpful.

HeartOnFire and UserOne like this

it seems to be too much trouble to help keep me alive

and yet nobody will just put a bullet in my head, either

UserOne likes this

if you've misplaced your love, or the light you shine into the world, keep looking.

you'll find it because
you need to

and the world also needs you to find it, too.

Fionacatherine, juliettebravo and HeartOnFire like this

NAMING THE UGLY THOUGHTS RUNNING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD IS ONE WAY TO LET THEM GO

BUT IT OFTEN FEELS DISGUSTING

Fionacatherine, juliettebravo and HeartOnFire like this

I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW HOW EASILY YOU THROW A PERSON AWAY, LIKE TRASH. HOW YOU BARELY PRETEND YOU DON'T ENJOY IT, EVEN AS YOU CAN'T HIDE THE SMUG SATISFACTION THAT CRUELTY GIVES YOU.

AT LEAST I'LL BE LONG GONE WHEN YOU MUST CONFRONT THE MONSTER YOU HIDE UNDER YOUR MASK,
THAT MORE PEOPLE SEE
THAN YOU IMAGINE.

Fionacatherine and HeartOnFire like this

it can be harder to ask for help when your need is more desperate, because if nobody responds it can feel like that one more loss than you can bear, and break your will to live.

remember this when you are tempted to judge how bad someone's mess is.

Fionacatherine, juliettebravo and HeartOnFire like this

NO BETTER WAY TO RELEASE THE TENSION

THAN A SNEEZE
OR AN ORGASM.

OR, SOMETIMES,
A MORE LITERAL EXPLOSION IS NEEDED.

#explosive

Campo likes this

NOBODY TRIGGERS MY TEMPER TWICE.

I'VE YET TO MEET SOMEONE THAT STUPID.

#explosive

melatonincholy

the conflict that arises when you really need to wake up, but you are in the middle of a kickass dream and you MUST see where it's going

#inspiredby, @Ziya

eulekauzig, Fionacatherine, juliettebravo and Ziya like this

reposted by Ziya and Mathilda

BEFORE YOU BURN THAT BRIDGE, BE SURE IT HAS SERVED ITS PURPOSE.

AND THEN BLOW THAT FUCKER UP, TURN AROUND, AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

#explosive

karlokoenig likes this

I WAS TOO COMFORTABLE WITH A CHAPTER OF MY LIFE THAT HAD RUN ITS COURSE, SO THE BEST THING I COULD DO WAS BLOW IT UP.

YOU WILL ALWAYS LAND IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, WHATEVER FEELINGS YOU HAVE AT THE TIME.

#explosive

Fionacatherine and juliettebravo like this

a slow burn is usually a more efficient use of resources

but sometimes you need the attention that only an explosion can attract

#explosive

juliettebravo likes this

reposted by RealA

if you're going to let that app on your phone eat your life

at least insist that it have the manners to tell you how delicious it is

a whip is just a boneless sword. none of you will repost this because you are cowards that hate God.

Reposted from jaybyrd

@jaybyrd

People who do not understand your silence

will never
understand your words.

Reposted from UserOne

UserOne, Fionacatherine and itsme. like this

November
is a month of concentrated loss for me, full of sad anniversaries.

It's a month to be endured, not enjoyed.

#november

busylizzie, HeartOnFire, Fionacatherine, Ziya, UserOne and karlokoenig like this

A death-defying odyssey that could only be understood by someone who had been through it too. Sometimes, safe places are raided. Sometimes, the darkest shadow you could imagine was nothing compared to the abyss that awaited you. And almost dying was the only way to live again.

Reposted from HeartOnFire

ZeepBella, HeartOnFire and swatchUSA like this

MY CANDY IS THE SWEETEST YOU WILL EVER TASTE.

YOU KNOW
YOU WANT A BITE.

MyM likes this

Uh, Cheato?
You're fucked.
Like seriously, up that creek without a paddle
FUCKED.

It's
ABOUT
DAMNED
TIME.

tinyurl.com

HeartOnFire, Ziya and Fionacatherine like this

the smarter our gadgets get

the more stupid
we become

#stupid

HeartOnFire and karlokoenig like this

reposted by RealA

you learn whether a thing is a need
or a want

when it is
abruptly
taken
from you

and you are forced to adapt
to life without it

if it returns
your relationship with it
will never be the same

HeartOnFire, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by RealA

Life is a bitch.

It can seem like you will always be picking up her shit, and she can make lots of it. But she can also give you a pile of puppies, who will lick you and love you and comfort you and steal your heart, for free. If you let them.

Which bitch is she
for you today?

#metaphors, #bitch, #love, #messy, @Fionacatherine

juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

BIRTHDAYS

yet another thing that Cheato has too many of, that he does not deserve

Fionacatherine likes this

LEAVE ME ALONE

I'M HARD AT SLEEP

Given my history with the name

Dave is, appropriately, a four letter word.

#dave

dor1316, Fionacatherine and JodieT like this

Make
Assholes
Go
Away

#MAGA

ConradKilroy, stargater, HeartOnFire, bold, GaylrdSprFckr, Fionacatherine, busylizzie, eulekauzig, petegutz2, Ziya and 2 others like this

reposted by Ziya

“President of the United States”
is NOT an
entry level job.

Not even if
you're a
billionaire.

JodieT likes this

Perfection

never starts off perfect.

juliettebravo, ZeepBella, SourceBlack, janem803 and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by RealA

Being wealthy doesn't have to make you an asshole.

(See link for
an awesome example.)

tinyurl.com

janem803, Fionacatherine and karlokoenig like this

"There are many things in life that will catch your eye

but only a few will catch your heart."

Reposted from streetmedic

streetmedic, dor1316 and janem803 like this

What you DO
speaks louder

than

what you SAY

#truthbomb

MyM and janem803 like this

I consider it the highest honor when someone feels comfortable enough to fall asleep next to me.

#places

crafty, ZeepBella, juliettebravo, Luenchen and janem803 like this

There's no place like home.

(Once upon a time, I would have felt compelled to add "thank $deity, because one such place is bad enough!")

#places

crafty likes this

THERE'S

NO
PLACE

LIKE
HOME

#places

ChrisRota, UserOne, MyM, crafty and Ziya like this

1st place, 2nd, 3rd
is about how you did relative to everyone else, and depends on others.

What really matters is whether you did your best.

#places

Krusa, crafty, JodieT, Luenchen, janem803 and petegutz2 like this

Take
your
place
at
my
side

#places

Campo, crafty, JodieT, Luenchen, janem803, petegutz2, ZeepBella and Fionacatherine like this

I've got my napping husband under one arm

our dog kind of under the other, using my leg as a piece of furniture

there is no better place
|'d rather be
than where I am.

#places

Krusa, crafty, JodieT, Luenchen, janem803, petegutz2, ZeepBella and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by RealA

I need something only you can provide me:

your absence.

#places, #ashleighBrilliant, #quotes

ChrisRota, Ziya, JodieT, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig and juliettebravo like this

Home is
wherever

you
and I
are

together.

#places

ChrisRota, JodieT, Luenchen and juliettebravo like this

reposted by RealA

If you run away from your problems, you'll just create a new version of them wherever you go.

#places

ChrisRota, Krusa, MyM, JodieT, Luenchen, janem803, Fionacatherine, karlokoenig and juliettebravo like this

Sometimes all you need is
A BILLION DOLLARS

TwoThamesTwo, Fionacatherine, ZeepBella, dor1316, sudeshnarocks, karlokoenig and janem803 like this

reposted by TwoThamesTwo

If you lack fear for what is different or unfamiliar

you'll probably find far fewer things to be offensive

#uncensored

dor1316, Kush_Le, Luenchen, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

Just as gravity pulls water down a hill

our very nature finds a way to circumvent attempts to stifle us.

#uncensored

dor1316, Kush_Le and Fionacatherine like this

There is a
huge difference

between

censorship
and
restraint

#uncensored

Krusa, dor1316, Luenchen and juliettebravo like this

Nothing says "I fear what I don't understand" like censorship.

#uncensored

hey.its.mira, BerlinGirl2014, crafty, karlokoenig, ZeepBella, Montather, JodieT, juliettebravo, Fionacatherine and Luenchen like this

HOW DARE I WEAR THIS GODDAMN TSHIRT IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING KIDS

#uncensored, #Tshirthell.com, #IhaveThisShirt

crafty, janem803, ZeepBella, Montather, JodieT and Luenchen like this

I don't need to wear a sweater because you're cold

and "I don't want to see that" is not a reason to censor a book, movie, or picture

#uncensored

crafty, Montather, JodieT and Luenchen like this

A wise man is just a smart ass.

#uncensored

Fionacatherine, Montather, Krusa, Luenchen, juliettebravo, sudeshnarocks and crafty like this

Sitting next to my husband

I can't type quickly enough to capture all the material I'm getting

#uncensored

Campo, Krusa, karlokoenig, juliettebravo, Ziya, sudeshnarocks, crafty and Luenchen like this

The good news
is that
I behaved.

The bad news
is HOW I behaved.

Montather, juliettebravo, UserOne, MyM, Luenchen, shankarrkn, janem803, crafty and Fionacatherine like this

reposted by Luenchen and siouxz

HAVING TWITTER TANTRUMS WON'T SAVE YOUR LYING ASS

#Dear2019

Montather, MyM, crafty and Fionacatherine like this

Dear 2019,

Please do your best to not be the year that we destroyed all life on the planet.

It would also be neat if you were the year that saw the imprisonment certain grifters and liars so richly deserve.

#Dear2019

Montather, Luenchen, crafty and Fionacatherine like this

i guess those enlargement pills are working because you're twice the dick your were last year .

Reposted from anonymous

karlokoenig, Luenchen, janem803 and crafty like this

As dark as things
might get

at least I know
we'll have each other
and face it together

and for that,
I am grateful.

#Dear2019, #lovemyhusband

Krusa, MyM, karlokoenig, Luenchen, janem803, Fionacatherine and crafty like this

Taking responsibility for your actions includes accepting the consequences of them.

If you lost someone you loved because you burned them, you are not a victim, and never getting another chance is not unfair.

#Dear2019

Krusa, MyM, Luenchen, janem803, Fionacatherine and crafty like this

reposted by RealA

#Dear2019

Krusa, Luenchen, janem803 and crafty like this

Few people
are more dangerous

than a control freak
who is not in control,

and can't accept it.

MyM, Luenchen, janem803, Fionacatherine and crafty like this

Dear 2019:

I set the bar so low, you'll have it EASY making everyone love you.

You're welcome.

Love
2018 and 2017

#Dear2019

juliettebravo, sudeshnarocks and karlokoenig like this

you learn more about who you are when being true to your values is hard

than when it is easy

janem803, juliettebravo, sudeshnarocks and karlokoenig like this

I just learned something valuable:

Lots of people have some
very strange ideas about
what liberals believe.

Doing an image search for
"white liberal guilt" is like
inviting them to scream
those strange ideas
at you.

sudeshnarocks likes this

once you plant a seed
and it grows into a tree
and then a forest
it's too late to try to undo it;
it has momentum, and is complex, and you can only make it more chaotic, trying to shut it down.

Cheato has planted lots of seeds over his lifetime, and the resulting forest seems to be hitting that critical mass as 2019 approaches, even though he thinks he can tinker with it and make it vanish.

dear 2019, as Cheato has his tantrums
be more like a rollercoaster
and less like a plane crash

#Dear2019

Krusa, juliettebravo, lindaann and Fionacatherine like this

Things are slowly
coming full circle,
as they do, whether
or not you (or I)
understand
all the pieces.

#Dear2019

juliettebravo, eulekauzig, crafty, lindaann and Fionacatherine like this

Dear 2019:

Ignore the crazy old man with the orange hair; he's probably going to hate you. That just means you're on the right track! I promise.

PS: his kids won't like you much either, once they figure out what's going on.

#Dear2019

Krusa, MyM, lindaann and Fionacatherine like this

the best way to help someone with privilege to understand it
is to change him into someone without it for a day

assuming he didn't blindly do something that, without his privilege, got him killed

by... too many possible ways
to end that sentence

#justforoneday

If Cheato could swap bodies with a lesbian of color,
for a day
or a Syrian refugee
or a legit climate scientist
or the mother of a school shooting victim

would he have enough context to even comprehend his experience?

#justforoneday

A decade ago, had you told me that history would soften its criticism of Dubya as The Worst President Ever, I would have said NO FUCKING WAY.

And now would be posting recipes on the best way to season those words, as I'd have to eat them.

No way I'm gonna try to predict anything anymore,
because it's too scary.

Scientists have again landed a spacecraft on a proverbial dime on a planet 40 million miles away that rotates at 241 metres per second. Think I'm gonna trust them on this climate change stuff.

Reposted from MarkAgee

karlokoenig and dor1316 like this

Being dead
does not
scare me.

Dying does.

ChrisRota, dor1316, BerlinGirl2014, karlokoenig, juliettebravo, sudeshnarocks and Fionacatherine like this

#eurythmics, #savage

dor1316, LordoftheWhys, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

santa:
-owns slaves
-stalks children, watches them at all times
-needs 9 reindeer to haul his fat ass

the grinch:
-works only with his trusty dog
-ostracized from society, but forgives them for their sins anyway
-asexual icon
-dismantled a corrupt capitalist institution

Reposted from MarkAgee

#funfact

Pain is a great teacher, but sometimes you gotta just take the morphine.

#funfact

krubjas, juliettebravo and sudeshnarocks like this

I have
the best
husband

in the world.

karlokoenig, sudeshnarocks and LordoftheWhys like this

who do you
choose to be

right now
in this very moment?

ultimately,
that's all you have

JodieT, ChrisRota, dor1316, ZeepBella and janem803 like this

everyone is capable of a lucky first impression

or an unlucky one

JodieT, dor1316 and ZeepBella like this

your initial impression almost always requires adjustment as the quality of your data improves over time

or just grows, and gets more confusing

JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316 and janem803 like this

If you pick a fight
that you don't know
you can win

the principles
at stake
better be
very important

#DoNots

TwoThamesTwo and UserOne like this

I never kissed any of MY cousins like that

#kiss

ZeepBella, JodieT and ChrisRota like this

KISS
your troubles
your reputation
your fear
your job
your marriage
your virginity
your money
your sanity
your pain

GOODBYE

#kiss

juliettebravo, JodieT, janem803 and ChrisRota like this

you never know
for sure

that you're kissing
someone for the
last time

while
you're actually
doing it

#kiss

Fionacatherine, springfire, juliettebravo, ZeepBella, janem803, ChrisRota, RoutineCost and JodieT like this

How secure
of a seal

can a kiss be?

#kiss

springfire, juliettebravo, ChrisRota and JodieT like this

despite what
our censoring choices imply,
what we protect
from the eyes
of children
vs what we show them casually

a kiss
can be far more intimate
than a fuck

#kiss

eulekauzig, dor1316, lindaann, springfire, MyM and karlokoenig like this

reposted by karlokoenig

the MOST
important rule:

everybody eats garlic
or nobody eats garlic

#kiss

ZeepBella, dor1316, lindaann, swatchUSA, RoutineCost, MyM and Bettydent like this

sometimes
it's actually just
a matter of realizing

"oh damn,
my breath must be
atrocious"

that's causing the hesitation

not a lack of fondness
or affection
or lust

#kiss

dor1316 likes this

it is next to impossible to lie about your feelings

when you express them with a kiss

#kiss

dor1316, janem803, RoutineCost and MyM like this

you're not gonna
fuck me over so profoundly
without giving me
at least
one kiss

come closer, let me
show you where

#kiss

dor1316 and janem803 like this

He was touched by an angel.

Lucifer was an angel.

#touch

dor1316, JodieT, karlokoenig and janem803 like this

Let's keep in touch?

But it's the lack of contact that
I most look
forward to, when
you finally leave

#touch

dor1316 and JodieT like this

people
SUCK
and I
HATE THEM

dor1316 and janem803 like this

okay, fine...

SOME people suck
(in the bad way)
which makes it
very tempting to generalize
that I HATE THEM ALL,

when HATE is a strong word
and I would never hate
ALL people

even if it seems like
only the ones who suck
(in the bad way)
are the ones
showing up lately

dor1316, JodieT, MyM and janem803 like this

"Honest,
with a touch of
grownup"

would be such a
pleasant change from

"childish,
with a touch of
entitled"

#touch

dor1316, JodieT, Fionacatherine and janem803 like this

CEREAL

IS JUST
MILK SOUP

#OOCQF

TwoThamesTwo, dor1316, juliettebravo, JodieT and Kush_Le like this

Some things you can't unfuck.

TwoThamesTwo, janem803, dor1316, KnightofSIAL and juliettebravo like this

the part of you that thinks it's going to die if you do the thing you fear

might die, a little

but that's okay;
it's just your ego

#ego

TwoThamesTwo, Fionacatherine, Demetrius, karlokoenig and juliettebravo like this

this
is all
happening

to
ME

#ego

janem803 and karlokoenig like this

I think
therefore

it's
all about
ME

#ego, #POV

juliettebravo likes this

I will know
where I'm going

when I get
there.

juliettebravo, janem803 and ChrisRota like this

Let's
have a
KIKI

ChrisRota likes this

My favorite alcoholic
drink is a Fuzzy Navel.
Simple.
Fuzzy (peach schnapps)
Navel (orange juice).
Any proportion of either ingredient works; you can't fuck that up.

Unless you are New England, which for unknown reasons
adds vodka.

VODKA HAS NO BUSINESS
BEING IN A
FUZZY NAVEL.

#vodka, #PSA

juliettebravo and dor1316 like this

Nothing more Russian than vodka! which is made from potatoes...

Nothing more Irish than potatoes! which are actually native to South America.

So Russians stole something that was already appropriated, but at least their twist on it
gets you drunk.

Which you would think the Irish would have done, right?

#vodka

TwoThamesTwo and juliettebravo like this

Go to hell,
Mitch
McConnell.

tinyurl.com

Fionacatherine and juneocallagh like this

There is worthwhile middle ground

between

not letting yourself cry, simply because someone will see it

and

getting so swept up in the act of emoting that you lose
yourself
your day

and

perspective.

janem803, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise, Bettydent and ChrisRota like this

You might feel broken, but you are just wounded.

Wounds heal.

MyM, janem803, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

reposted by roosterbear

You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death and from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too

Guess you were kissing a fool

#fool, #lyrics, #george, #michael, #faith

InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

The jester was once an important member of many a royal court. Though on the surface he appeared to be a fool, his skill with humor often made him the only person who could speak awkward truths that would get anyone else killed. He provided a critical pressure release valve for a kingdom's subjects.

The king needed to have a thick skin, however, and be secure enough to laugh along with him.

Not like Cheato, in other words.

#fool

juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

Fool me once.

I'm not going to let your lack of integrity change who I am at my core, make me cynical. I will continue to trust people until they give me a reason not to.

Good luck earning back my trust, however.

#fool

janem803, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

a fool
and his money

can be PRESIDENT*

#fool

MyM, Fionacatherine, comanzatara, juliettebravo, karlokoenig and ChrisRota like this

reposted by karlokoenig

If you still support that orange nightmare, that racist coward, after the permanent harm his policy has inflicted (by design) on thousands of children?

FUCK OFF.

At best, you are dangerously and profoundly gullible, and should not be allowed in public. At worst, you are cut from the same mold as that ignorant, entitled, vulgar, petty, spiteful, childish, impulsive, arrogant, treasonous, pussy-grabbing THIEF and LIAR. On most topics his beliefs are objectively and provably WRONG. Supporting him, or not feeling regret if you voted for him, is simply unforgivable.

karlokoenig and ChrisRota like this

Coming out
of the closet
can be anticlimactic
when
NOBODY
believed
your whole
"straight" act
in the first place.

(except maybe you)

#fool

Fionacatherine, sudeshnarocks, beingme, janem803 and juliettebravo like this

Are you Macchiavelli, constructing elaborate schemes that destroy anyone
who dares to cross you

or are you
Wile E. Coyote, falling into
your own traps, more comic relief than a threat to anyone else?

#fool

sudeshnarocks and beingme like this

I wish I was like you

easily amused

#fool

Fionacatherine, beingme, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

The most dangerous fool
doesn't understand

how much he doesn't understand

#fool

Fionacatherine, karlokoenig, sudeshnarocks, beingme, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

Fool me once,
shame on you.
Fool me twice...

I'm just not paying attention to you.

(the game you're playing doesn't matter to me)

#fool

beingme likes this

FYI:
If a service dog approaches you without a person,
FOLLOW THE DOG.
S/he is trying to get your attention, because their human needs help

(the kind that probably
only another human can summon precisely enough)

You can recognize a service dog because s/he will be wearing a vest that identifies that role.

PASS IT ON, AND MAYBE SAVE A LIFE.

twitter.com

#PSA, #shouldaknownthat

Krisargent, buzzielizzy, SlickMemes, Ziya, busylizzie, juneocallagh, Stig300, eulekauzig, springfire, Campo and 10 others like this

reposted by karlokoenig, dor1316, EzraCat, eulekauzig, busylizzie, MyM, UserOne and buzzielizzy

TRUMP'S
LIES
MATTER

tinyurl.com

#quote

juliettebravo, dor1316, InfluenceNoise and ChrisRota like this

When you think it's okay to take children away from their parents as a move in some political game you are playing

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR WAY

juliettebravo and InfluenceNoise like this

"The “party of family values”, like the KKK no longer wearing hoods, has finally been exposed as the sadistic, corrupt, evil, greedy bastards that they are. Ripping families apart, torture loving perverts who would take your last penny with an arrogant smirk."

tinyurl.com

#quote

juliettebravo likes this

sometimes

you don't
want to know
where
the bodies
are buried

juliettebravo and juneocallagh like this

just say NO to DRUGS!

even though they make you feel suspiciously similar to how it feels when your allergies kick in

without the itching
eyes and the excess snot

and also horny
and some people have
a fetish for watching you do them;
yeah you look way hotter than when you're blowing your nose

...wait I mean DRUGS ARE BAAAAD!

#foxy

UserOne likes this

crazy

like a fox

(as opposed to a honey badger)

#foxy

UserOne likes this

I am such a STUD

people reference the creature
that sneaks into
the chicken coop
and eats all the chickens.
They say I am
like HIM!

Wait, that dude
sounds like a dick.

(and he has orange hair...
yeah, we need another metaphor.)

#foxy

UserOne likes this

Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs seems like an odd strategy.
They are so fragile!
Rain, wind, birds...

I prefer leaving
a trail of haggis.
At the very least, even if some crazy fool eats it off the ground, it should leave a stain.

#inspiredBy, @petegutz2

UserOne likes this

It's bad enough that the dog is using my lap as a bed.

Does he really have to be a restless sleeper too?

InfluenceNoise and beingme like this

I have a feeling my check liver light may come on this weekend.

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise and beingme like this

FLYING
IS EASY

IT'S STICKING THE LANDING THAT IS HARD

juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise, janem803, dor1316, ChrisRota and juneocallagh like this

Imagine a story where all whom you judge to be the "good guys" are actually villians, and vice versa.

Somewhere, someone believes that story is true.

That might explain a lot that seems inexplicable.

InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ChrisRota, juneocallagh, juliettebravo and Authlander like this

My clumsy nature sometimes feels
like part of my subconscious
mind beating
me up...

although the motive
remains unclear.

InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ChrisRota and karlokoenig like this

reposted by ChrisRota

I'm in a mood
that doesn't have
a name
yet

stay tuned, because it should make for an interesting evening

but maybe
keep your distance

#mood

Ziya, dor1316, Sunshine123, juliettebravo and ChrisRota like this

I have only
lost my temper
twice in almost
50 years

and both times
I was blessed
to have you there
to talk me down

before I did
something foolish

#mood

tide, dor1316, Sunshine123, juliettebravo, ChrisRota and janem803 like this

telling someone to calm down

is maybe the least effective way to calm someone down

#mood

dor1316, Sunshine123, juliettebravo and ChrisRota like this

reposted by roosterbear

it's hard
to stay grumpy

while eating chocolate

#mood

dor1316, Sunshine123 and juliettebravo like this

moods

good or bad

can be
contagious

#mood

dor1316, Sunshine123, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

be careful
picking a fight
with someone

it is hard to predict
precisely what feelings
you will evoke
in them

or how your target
might act
on those feelings

#mood

dor1316, Sunshine123 and juliettebravo like this

Feelings are
important to notice,
and to feel

but it's rarely wise
to make dramatic choices
based on them

because
they are also
transitory

#mood

Kara24xo, daniel8a14, juneocallagh, PueppiRazza, guggigirl, Ziya, dor1316, Sunshine123, juliettebravo and Authlander like this

reposted by Ziya

I'm not in the mood

to not get laid

#mood

juliettebravo and ChrisRota like this

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
TILL SOMEONE POKES
AN EYE OUT

THEN IT'S JUST
PURE FUN

(unless it's your eye, or you're a dick)

#game

ZeepBella likes this

don't assume
you're playing
a zero sum game

where everyone else must lose in order
for you to win

if other models
could also work

#game

Sunshine123, JodieT, ZeepBella, juneocallagh and Ziya like this

don't bring
checkers
to a
game
of chess

#game

Sunshine123, JodieT, crafty, ZeepBella, swatchUSA, juneocallagh, Campo and sudeshnarocks like this

the game
is being played

whether you acknowledge it
or not

whether you understand the rules or not

#game

Fionacatherine, janem803, Sunshine123, JodieT, ZeepBella, juneocallagh and sudeshnarocks like this

your life affects more people, more deeply, than you probably imagine.

sadly, sometimes that impact isn't noticed until you are gone.

JodieT, dor1316, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

Before you spend even a
penny of your rainy day fund

stop for a moment
and make sure
it's actually
raining.

Fionacatherine, dor1316, juliettebravo, janem803, UserOne and ZeepBella like this

reposted by roosterbear

Fear is a magnet. When you feed your fears with attention, you tend to create the things you fear.

Every moment you spend fixated on the thing you fear, and the harm it can do to you, is like a home cooked meal and a back massage you've given to your worst enemy.

UserOne likes this

In large enough doses,
even water is poisonous.

Give yourself, and those you love and admire,
a break from each other
from time
to time.

#toxic, #moderation

UserOne and ZeepBella like this

watered
down poison

is still
poison

#toxic, #yesIknow, #daylate, #dollarshort

dor1316, janem803 and UserOne like this

It's funny

how many of the substances we consume as comfort

(drugs, sugar, fatty foods)

cause the very ailments for which we seek comfort

#toxic

JodieT and InfluenceNoise like this

no really
PLEASE
DON'T
"HELP"
ME CLEAN

#toxic

Campo, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

your footprints
are
Superfund
sites

www.epa.gov

#toxic

I'm not saying you are toxic

I'm just saying that lots of crazy miscommunication and drama seems to start happening all around us when you visit

and suddenly stops happening when you finally leave

#toxic, @Fionacatherine

Fionacatherine, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise, ZeepBella, janem803, swatchUSA and beingme like this

IMAGINE
an invisible army
of angels
is conspiring
to bring about your greatest potential

juliettebravo, Authlander, janem803, SourceBlack, JodieT and InfluenceNoise like this

Meeting stiff resistance while pursuing your dreams is no cause for alarm.

It is a reflection of how important your goals are, and how firm your commitment must be.
Nothing more.

Reposted from roosterbear

JodieT, InfluenceNoise and UserOne like this

The words you speak today are seeds you plant

that grow into relationships tomorrow

Reposted from roosterbear

janem803, JodieT and InfluenceNoise like this

the past is behind you

it does not
have to predict
your future

janem803, JodieT and InfluenceNoise like this

I am grateful every day

that my fetishes are not complex, dangerous, or harmful.

Reposted from roosterbear

JodieT, InfluenceNoise, janem803, dor1316 and ZeepBella like this

Sometimes
it will matter to you
what other people think,

even though
in the grand scheme
of things
it doesn't matter
at all
what they think.

JodieT, jmb, Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, janem803 and juliettebravo like this

It is impossible to walk through every open door.

Having lots of options is a blessing, even though you cannot use all of them.

JodieT, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

Adulthood is when you unlearn all the harmful things you were taught about yourself as a child.

Reposted from roosterbear

JodieT, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

if you ask
a complex question

it's unfair to expect
a simple answer

CountShelter, juneocallagh, JodieT, eulekauzig, Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, janem803 and UserOne like this

I love teaching my autocorrect new words.

Like fuckhole.
And fucktacular.
And fuckhead.
And fuckpuppet.

Okay, there's a theme.

Reposted from roosterbear

JodieT, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, UserOne and janem803 like this

It's important to remember to take a break from all the shit that stresses you out, from time to time.

It's also important to remember to return to those things that stress you out, and deal with them, after you've had a break.

Knowing how to time that break, taking enough time off and returning in a timely manner, can be tricky.

JodieT, Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, dor1316, ZeepBella, juliettebravo, UserOne and janem803 like this

IF THE EYES ARE THE WINDOW TO OUR SOULS

OUR FACES ARE THE WALL RISING UP FROM THE MOAT.

#faces

dor1316 likes this

What do any of us look like

behind the masks we wear?

#faces

dor1316, JodieT, janem803, UserOne, ZeepBella and InfluenceNoise like this

And now, let us lift our faces in prayer...

#faces

JodieT, ChrisRota and InfluenceNoise like this

sometimes,
just crawling out of bed
and facing the day

is the ultimate act of bravery

#faces

phuamaxx, Fionacatherine, JodieT, Sunshine123, juliettebravo, dor1316, lindaann, ChrisRota, tonyyy and InfluenceNoise like this

okay, I'll be right with you.
I just need to put on my brave face.

I know I put it here somewhere...

#faces

phuamaxx, Fionacatherine, JodieT, Sunshine123, juliettebravo, dor1316, ChrisRota and InfluenceNoise like this

THERE ARE TWO THINGS I CANNOT STAND ABOUT pRESIDENT CHEATO:

HIS FACE.

#faces

JodieT, Sunshine123, dor1316, ChrisRota and InfluenceNoise like this

It will be a very happy day
when the Grifter-in-Chief's latest reality show
is finally cancelled

Reposted from roosterbear

#cancelled

dor1316 and juliettebravo like this

It will be a very happy day
when the Grifter-in-Chief's latest reality show
is finally cancelled

#cancelled

dor1316 likes this

reposted by roosterbear

our motivation, in any given moment, is never just one simple thing

but often
there is one part
of our motivation
that's stronger
LOUDER
more obvious
than any
other.

JodieT, janem803, meohmy and juliettebravo like this

PRAYING AT ME

IS NOT HELPFUL

meohmy, juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise and jaybyrd like this

Q: whats the difference between hungry and horny?

A: where you put the cucumber

Reposted from siouxz

#repost, #wishI'dwrittenit

siouxz, ForeverActive, jaybyrd and petegutz2 like this

You help me remember

who

I

am

#memories

Ziya, Rosentulpen, meohmy, janem803, JodieT, ForeverActive, UserOne, Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

reposted by Rosentulpen

Memories
like the corners of my mind
misty water colored memories

of the way

we were

#memories

dor1316, Sunshine123 and juliettebravo like this

The 16 year old me that I remember would never find anything to eat in my diet.

#memories

dor1316, meohmy, Luenchen, petegutz2, juliettebravo, Sunshine123, JodieT and jaybyrd like this

Run from a predator, its instinctive response is
to chase you.

Prioritize assigning blame in a crisis situation, and everyone's instinctive behavior is to dig in and get defensive.

Making an honest self-assessment while running away, or defending against blame, is practically impossible.

meohmy, JodieT and Sunshine123 like this

You are most likely to underestimate your strength when you focus on only that which you cannot control.

You are most likely to overestimate your strength when you do not recognize that you cannot control everything.

meohmy, JodieT, Sunshine123, UserOne and jaybyrd like this

what you see as a burden

will be one

meohmy, janem803, JodieT, UserOne and jaybyrd like this

Feeling compassion for someone engaged in self-sabotage, without judging them, or feeling responsible for "fixing" them or letting them blow up your life, can be a difficult dance to master.

But if there's a better way to be when confronted with that scenario,
I haven't discovered it.

InfluenceNoise, Authlander and juliettebravo like this

TRUST
that feeling pleasure is not a sin, in and of itself, and let yourself just enjoy it.

InfluenceNoise, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

Finding someone who needs help, especially if it's a kind of help
you've received in the past,
is a great blessing.

Knowing how hard it is to let someone help you enables you to avoid
seeing your role,
or the person you're helping,
as a burden.

Allowing someone to help you is also a blessing. It reminds you that you are worth the effort.

petegutz2, Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, MyM, juliettebravo, meohmy and janem803 like this

WE
LEARN
BY
DOING

Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, MyM, juliettebravo, meohmy and janem803 like this

believe that you can adapt
to whatever life throws at you

and, quite often,
you will find yourself to be
quite resilient

Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, juliettebravo, meohmy, janem803 and jaybyrd like this

Can't afford to get my car inspected, so it's been sitting in the garage, idle, since the end of November.

I've been pleasantly surprised
that I don't miss the autonomy
and freedom more.

Even more surprised how easily
friends have adapted to my reduced mobility, and have adjusted their expectations accordingly.

Almost reluctant to
get the car inspected now, when
I can afford it. Even more reluctant
to tell anyone when I do.

InfluenceNoise, juliettebravo, jaybyrd and janem803 like this

Laughter relieves tension,
because in order to laugh we must breathe.

It's easy to panic when we forget to breathe.

meohmy, janem803, LordoftheWhys, Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

I
tell
you
every
THING

#5wordstory, #thesequel

meohmy, janem803, Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

he
look
like a
MAN

#5wordstory

Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

me
us
friction
WAR

loss

#5wordstory

jaybyrd likes this

My
castle
is
a
PRISON.

#5wordstory

meohmy, Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

You're wicked!

I am...

NOT.

#5wordstory

Sunshine123 and jaybyrd like this

The game
is a foot.

#5wordstory, @LordoftheWhys

meohmy, JodieT, dor1316 and LordoftheWhys like this

can be
ANYTHING
you want

#5wordstory

phuamaxx, meohmy, JodieT, juliettebravo, janem803, dor1316, LordoftheWhys and ChrisRota like this

FIVE
FOUR
three
two

Won.

#5wordstory

petegutz2, Drakonan, phuamaxx, meohmy, JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, eulekauzig, LordoftheWhys, ChrisRota and 1 other like this

did too!
did not!

did.

#5wordstory

phuamaxx, JodieT, juliettebravo, meohmy, dor1316, LordoftheWhys and ChrisRota like this

They met.
They fucked.

Fuck.

#5wordstory

phuamaxx, meohmy, JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, LordoftheWhys and janem803 like this

Truth and justice. Is there a reason why Superman lists them as if they are not parts of the American Way?

Reposted from LordoftheWhys

dor1316, InfluenceNoise and bold like this

"There's a certain type of Republican, cut from the Ryan/Mulvaney cloth, that lives their life in a state of perpetual rage that there are poor people in this country who get to spend any amount of time, however briefly, experiencing any emotion more pleasant than abject torment. There's a word for that, and that word is Sociopath."

tinyurl.com

#toast

meohmy, dor1316 and JodieT like this

reposted by dor1316

if you really want to know
who you are

move as far away from what is familiar to you as you can

free of your history, and
the expectations of
your family and peers

you can be anything you want

and that's when
the real you
comes out to meet the world

#firsthome

DwayneM, dor1316, siouxz, juliettebravo, UserOne and janem803 like this

it's amazing how quickly 21 years
of enforced modesty
turned into
barely remembering to put a towel
under my naked butt
once I lived
by myself

#firsthome

dor1316, juliettebravo, UserOne and janem803 like this

I remember when writing my rent check, loading the dishwasher, making a grocery list...

these things were fun

because they were new and novel, doing them for my own home.

#firsthome

dor1316, Fionacatherine, siouxz, juliettebravo, UserOne and LordoftheWhys like this

are smurfs blue
on the inside too?

#blue

juliettebravo, InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive and swatchUSA like this

okay...
is Chicken Cordon Glum any better?

tinyurl.com

#blue

InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, swatchUSA, jaybyrd and JodieT like this

It's harder to buy booze on Sundays in New England thanks to the Doleful* Laws still on the books.

Thanks a lot, Puritans.

#blue

InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, jaybyrd and JodieT like this

unhappy
ribbon
commission

#blue

InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, jaybyrd and JodieT like this

chicken
cordon
morose

#blue

InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, jaybyrd and JodieT like this

I only see him once in a despondent moon

#blue

ChrisRota, InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, jaybyrd and JodieT like this

my depressedtooth keyboard and trackpad
aren't very reliable

so I end up
having to
plug them in
anyway

#blue

InfluenceNoise, jaybyrd and ForeverActive like this

I love sadberry muffins with my breakfast

#blue

JodieT and ForeverActive like this

The blue of her eyes matched the blue of your balls.

Reposted from LordoftheWhys

JodieT, ForeverActive and Bettydent like this

The man who has inspired so many
of my bolds
the guy I said "I do" to
the love of my life
is finally on
boldomatic

Check him out!
@LordoftheWhys

ForeverActive, juneocallagh, lyfe, InfluenceNoise and JodieT like this

Winter makes me more photogenic.

The blue in my freezing cold lips really brings out the green
in my eyes.

#blue

JodieT, ForeverActive, juneocallagh and InfluenceNoise like this

roses are RED
violets are BLUE
water is WET
laughter feels GOOD
mushrooms are YUM*
and why do I have to wear clothes, just because it's winter and some people hate their own bodies and well okay clothes can keep me warm, regardless of other peoples' belief systems.

and oh yeah I hate winter.

#blue, #

JodieT, InfluenceNoise, ForeverActive, ZeepBella and petegutz2 like this

I LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM

even hotter when
he takes it off

#blue

InfluenceNoise, juliettebravo, janem803 and jaybyrd like this

It's almost impossible to distinguish bravery from stupidity from mere observation.

UserOne, eulekauzig, Ziya, ForeverActive, juliettebravo, dor1316, beingme and jaybyrd like this

reposted by roosterbear and Ziya

the right kind of
"no"

is better than
the wrong kind of
"yes"

#911

ForeverActive, juliettebravo, dor1316, lindaann, janem803, Ziya and jaybyrd like this

The mood I'd like today

isn't necessarily on the menu

#menu

ForeverActive, dor1316 and InfluenceNoise like this

Stop feeding me poison and trying to pass it off as an exotic new kind of martini

#menu

dor1316 and InfluenceNoise like this

If your chef could fuck up a bowl of cereal

that puts a severe limit on your menu options

#menu

janem803 likes this

Dear Canada:

You've let the North Pole wander into our yard again; please come retrieve it.

Love
Me

ZeepBella and juliettebravo like this

We have a chance to replace many of Cheato's sockpuppets in Congress this year during the midterm elections.

If you need help
feeling hopeful,
or a focus for your outrage over what they're doing, and not doing,
here you go.

#dear2018

karlokoenig, JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, lyfe, Ziya, lindaann and InfluenceNoise like this

the fact that I have hope that 2018 will be better than 2017

is proof that I am a hardcore optimist

#dear2018

JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, Ziya, lindaann, InfluenceNoise and janem803 like this

Muslims
aren't
just
terrorists.

No group should be judged solely
by the actions of its fringe members.

tinyurl.com

JodieT, juliettebravo and dor1316 like this

Dear 2018,

Please do not use 2017 as a model for how to treat us. Also, most of us would like you a lot if the Orange Shitgibbon got impeached, then sent to prison during our time with you. Just sayin'...

love,
Me

PS: okay, I'll be happy if he doesn't manage to start a nuclear war with North Korea. But you can aim higher than that! I have faith in you.

#dear2018

KnightofSIAL, Fionacatherine, JodieT and dor1316 like this

Happy New Year...
normally, my husband and I celebrate, often
with friends, and pay attention to the moment it's official.

This year, we noticed it was past midnight a few minutes after the fact, and we both said a version of "thank $deity that
shit show is over."

Here is to 2018 being better than 2017. Those are some pretty low expectations to meet.

JodieT, dor1316 and juliettebravo like this

There are very few remarkable moments I know about ahead of time precisely enough to count down to them.

I'm doing well to
count "days since [x] happened" after the fact.

#countdown

InfluenceNoise, dor1316 and lindaann like this

I
miss
Keith
Olberman

(when he was on MSNBC)

#countdown

dor1316 and lindaann like this

A 14 year old girl is not at an appropriate stage of cognitive development to be "fair game" for a 35 year old man.

Even if "she can pass for 20."

tinyurl.com

dor1316, Fionacatherine, juliettebravo, jaybyrd, flipflap and Bettydent like this

No matter how mature or grounded you are, some losses are just going to suck, and grieving is never a neat, linear process.

Sometimes you just have to let that scream out, so that it does not eat you from the inside out.

That does not make you a weak person.

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316, janem803, Fionacatherine, juliettebravo, SourceBlack and ZeepBella like this

EVERY TIME FEAR TRIES TO PARALYZE ME, I REMIND MYSELF:

this situation is temporary.

this thing I fear will be behind me by [a specific time/date].

I am stronger than I feel right now, and this circumstance will be another case in point soon.

...AND THAT HELPS ME PICK MYSELF UP, DUST MYSELF OFF, AND DO WHAT I NEED TO DO.

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316, Fionacatherine and ZeepBella like this

The most dangerous phase of fighting for your life

is when you don't realize you are fighting for your life

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316, janem803 and Fionacatherine like this

Whatever you invest in exacting vengeance on someone
is stolen from every other
potential way
you could have spent that personal energy, attention, or resource you have at your disposal.

It also feeds the system
that inflicted your pain and loss
and keeps you stuck
in the middle of it.

Retribution always carries a price
but doesn't necessarily
deliver anything of value
for what you've spent.

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316 likes this

Thanksgiving might just be me and my husband,
or maybe <=3 guests.

I suppose I should figure out a menu, if I want any control over its contents.

#random, #sneakyholidays, #72hoursaway

dor1316, juliettebravo and Ziya like this

Decisions guided by a finely tuned intuition seem random to the casual observer,
but they aren't

even if one doesn't fully understand how it works.

#random

Fionacatherine, juliettebravo, ZeepBella, Ziya and Authlander like this

Don't give me
too many options

unless you don't care

if I close my eyes

and pick one

at random

#random

swatchUSA, siouxz, janem803, Fionacatherine and juliettebravo like this

what you choose to learn from any random encounter shapes how you experience it

every moment carries potential pain, or joy;
your choice is a key that unlocks one or the other

or sometimes both

#random

janem803, Fionacatherine and juliettebravo like this

We conjure the very people into our lives that we need, to teach us what we need to learn

though at times, to keep things fresh, if we don't look too closely, the process seems random,

the lesson not learned till years later

#random

janem803, Fionacatherine, juneocallagh and juliettebravo like this

The people who surround you say something about who you are.

Whether you feel their presence is something you celebrate or endure, a source of support or pain, tells a little more.

Ziya, dor1316, JodieT and juliettebravo like this

One cannot subsist on junk food

but some days, it really hits the spot.

dor1316 and JodieT like this

Adulthood is when you unlearn all the harmful things you were taught about yourself as a child.

Reposted from roosterbear

crackbuttjoe and dor1316 like this

it's
never
too late

until it is.

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316 and janem803 like this

You weren't the thief who stole my heart

so much as the magician who made my heart reappear

then showed it to me, so that I saw it for the first time.

Reposted from roosterbear

dor1316 and janem803 like this

The hardest walls to scale are the invisible ones.

#walls

Fionacatherine, karlokoenig, janem803, JodieT, Sunshine123, bobbybuilder, UserOne and juliettebravo like this

reposted by roosterbear

it's hard
to tell when a wall stops protecting you

and starts imprisoning you

#walls

dor1316, jaybyrd and emiledi77 like this

no matter how clever my words may be

no matter how relevant to the subject matter

no matter whether they fit the mission

I am on this side of the wall
and it seems I will never be able to scale it

#walls, #just, #not, #one, #of, #the, #cool, #kids

dor1316, Ziya, karlokoenig and emiledi77 like this

It's disturbing, the number of things a smart phone enables one to do while sitting on the toilet.

dor1316, Fionacatherine, ZeepBella and janem803 like this

Consistently inconsistent, which looks like chaos, is a pattern.

It is also a warning to keep your distance.

#pattern

dor1316, purplechill, Sunshine123, juliettebravo and Fionacatherine like this

Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is broken.

dor1316, juneocallagh, Sunshine123, Authlander and jaybyrd like this

The first step
in any project
is to break it down into small, achievable goals. The second step is
to get to work
tackling those goals, in
whatever order makes
the most sense for you.

Skipping either step won't get you very far.

#rewrite, #clarifyOldEntry

dor1316, Authlander, MyM, juliettebravo and janem803 like this

Say his name: Alonso Guillen. He is the face of DACA.

He died a hero, unselfishly trying to save others during Hurricane Harveys floods.

Mr. Guillen was a DACA recipient.

tinyurl.com

timothy21 and dor1316 like this

reposted by dor1316

Saying prayers for folks on the TX coastline who are in Harvey's way. Next few days are gonna be rough.

janem803, juliettebravo and dor1316 like this

as long as he keeps his tiny little fingers off the launch codes, I'm sure we'll all have a good laugh about cheato someday

especially in the longshot chance that his outfit and his crazy hair are the same shade of orange for the rest of his life

#nutjob

dor1316, Shea and juliettebravo like this

if you are constantly asking yourself if you're being reasonable, fair, rational, taking into account all the relevant facts...

you probably are not currently part of the executive branch of the us government

#nutjob

dor1316, Shea, Authlander and juliettebravo like this

COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE!

COULD BE PRESIDENT KELLY ANNE CONWAY...

#nutjob

dor1316, Shea and JodieT like this

SOME 71 YEAR OLDS MAKE ME WONDER IF THERE IS AN UPPER AGE LIMIT ON THE EFFECTIVENESS OF A GOOD SPANKING

WHILE ALSO MAKING ME FAR MORE WILLING TO ADMINISTER ONE, SHOULD THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENT ITSELF, THAN I EVER HAVE BEEN BEFORE

#nutjob

dor1316, janem803 and JodieT like this

when you think you're the only sane one in every conversation you have

you're actually more likely to be the biggest nutjob
in your timezone

#nutjob

dor1316, Shea and JodieT like this

the worst thing you can do sometimes

is to open your mouth and confirm what a nutjob you really are

keeping your mouth shut leaves everyone to wonder

#nutjob

dor1316 and JodieT like this

if he keeps firing everybody

then a certain nutjob

will run out of even nuttier nutjobs to surround himself with

and will look even less like the adult in the room*

#nutjob

dor1316, JodieT and juliettebravo like this

we have an entitled,
illiterate thug in charge

too stupid to realize that nobody is buying the bullshit coming out of his mouth

too sold on his own superiority to even imagine most 3rd graders
are smarter than he,
and he can't stop incriminating himself.

he doesn't understand that either.

JodieT, juliettebravo, jaybyrd, dor1316, Sunshine123 and karlokoenig like this

reposted by dor1316

Thanks to divorce and adoption, I had 7 grandmothers.

Several of them were awesome.

#granny

Ziya, swatchUSA, Shea, phuamaxx, juneocallagh, Sunshine123, ChrisRota, JodieT, karlokoenig, dor1316 and 4 others like this

Alexis and Crystal were both smarter and more dignfied than Cheato, even when they wrestled in a public fountain.

Shea, JodieT, jaybyrd and UserOne like this

Freedom given can be taken away.

Freedom demanded, claimed and owned is yours, unless you let someone convince you they can take it from you.

dor1316, Shea, MyM, ChrisRota, JodieT, juliettebravo, jaybyrd and UserOne like this

Be a soldier of peace in the Army of love

swatchUSA, Shea, JodieT, juliettebravo, ChrisRota, jaybyrd and dor1316 like this

When bullies act like bullies, we all need to be a contradictory data point, so that the bullies don't get mistaken as the norm.

JodieT, juliettebravo, jaybyrd, dor1316 and ChrisRota like this

It can take 1000s of peaceful acts to balance the harm done by one violent act.

But fortunately, way more of us are hugging than shooting.

We might want to focus on keeping that balance.

Shea, MyM, JodieT, juliettebravo, ChrisRota, jaybyrd, dor1316 and flipflap like this

If you think bombing a mosque is ok, there's no real difference between you and ISIS except the flavor of G*d you're misappropriating.

MyM, JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, ChrisRota and jaybyrd like this

Bombing any place of worship is an act of TERRORISM.

Cheering the perpetratotors is almost as bad as lighting the fuse, because that just gives them attention and encourages more bombs.

MyM, JodieT, juliettebravo, dor1316, flipflap and jaybyrd like this

Grateful the (probably) drunk driver got back on his side of the road before hitting me head-on earlier tonight.

Hoping that he doesn't kill anyone tonight.

Not even himself.

dor1316, JodieT, karlokoenig, janem803, ChrisRota, jaybyrd and Shea like this

Most transgendered members of the
armed forces did
more to serve
this country,
before lunch today

than Dumbass Von Tinyfingers has done in his entire life

Shea, purplechill, JodieT, karlokoenig, jaybyrd, juliettebravo, Luenchen, dor1316, Fionacatherine, meohmy and 1 other like this

The Id, the Ego, and all your fears scream loudest

but you can train yourself to hear the voice of your inner wisdom, even though it whispers

dor1316, Fionacatherine, Shea, juliettebravo, JodieT, maTembe1953 and meohmy like this

Original Sin is the most harmful lie.

Rejecting the truth of one's beauty, perfection, and worth is the most common wound. We all carry some vestige of it.

purplechill, dor1316, Fionacatherine, Shea, juliettebravo, JodieT, maTembe1953 and meohmy like this

I never believed in there being "the one" for any particular person, but maybe a range of people who might fit.

At least in my case, that's because I hadn't met you yet.

purplechill, dor1316, Shea, juliettebravo, JodieT, janem803 and meohmy like this

I'm guessing a real Captain Kirk couldn't be the stud that Shatner portrayed. Odds are slim that we'll find other humanoids whose plumbing matches ours so nicely..

He'd have to be way more of a freak, no?

#alien

JodieT, juliettebravo, meohmy and Shea like this

I was adopted as an infant,
and at times growing up in TX
I believed that aliens had dropped me off on a foreign (to us) planet, because I really didn't fit in.

When I was 22, I met my birthmother, and learned she was from NJ.

So I was kinda right, actually.

#alien

phuamaxx, Shea, dor1316, juliettebravo, JodieT, purplechill, maTembe1953, meohmy and jaybyrd like this

It's amazing how quickly a topic like "fun and games" brings out everyone's potty heads.

#funandgames

janem803, dor1316, phuamaxx, meohmy, SourceBlack, jussayin, JodieT, Shea, ChrisRota and siouxz like this

IT'S NOT A PARTY TILL SOMETHING GETS BROKEN

hopefully
not a body part
(at least if said body
is still alive)

(and was alive
when the party started)

#funandgames

Shea, SourceBlack, jussayin, meohmy, karlokoenig, juliettebravo, Sunshine123 and JodieT like this

the whole idea was so ludicrous, nobody took it seriously

just one big
funny joke
until the fucker actually won

#funandgames

janem803, Shea, SourceBlack, jussayin, meohmy, juliettebravo, Sunshine123 and JodieT like this

It's all fun and games,

until the bill arrives, and you realize you left your wallet at home.

#funandgames

SourceBlack, jussayin, jaybyrd, meohmy, Shea, swatchUSA, Sunshine123 and juneocallagh like this

A dog can treat you like a piece of furniture and make it feel like the most sincere form of love and affection.

jussayin, dor1316, BerlinGirl2014, SourceBlack, Authlander and JodieT like this

reposted by roosterbear

Without Urban Dictionary, I would have become one of those out of touch adults a long time ago

janem803, jussayin, dor1316, SourceBlack, swatchUSA, UserOne, JodieT and juliettebravo like this

The circus can only keep coming to town as long as we keep buying tickets to see it.

Reposted from roosterbear

#justsaying

jussayin, dor1316 and SourceBlack like this

#justsaying

BreathMiddle likes this

A foolish idea does not stop being foolish just because it became popular.

#justsaying

janem803, juneocallagh, maTembe1953, JodieT, purplechill, juliettebravo, dor1316 and jaybyrd like this