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Know the difference between what is important, and what is urgent.
Everytime I see chocolate, I hear 2 voices in my head. One saying, EAT IT!!!! And the other one saying DIDNT YOU HEAR IT... EAT IT!!!!


We have the money, the power, the medical  understanding, the scientific know-how  the love and the community to produce a kind of Paradise


But we are led by the least among us;

The least intelligent, the least noble, the least visionary.
Best advice given 
that I have ever heard ?
"You die 
only once.
But living, 
demands that you,
often, 
and in many 
different ways, 
do it over and over again."

                                           Tuseet Jha
                                           (Paraphrased)

If you think you are smarter than the previous generation- 50 years ago the owner's manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves.


Today it warns you not to drink the contents of the battery.
I need a vacation... 

Someone kidnap me please.
Sometimes you have to dance with the devil to get out of hell.
TAKE ME TO ABANDONED CASTLES,
COBBLESTONE STREETS, ANTIQUE STORES,OLD CEMETERIES, SMALL PUBS, SLEEPY SEASIDE TOWNS .
i miss you almost as much as I love sleeping diagonally
If you're happy and you know it, it's your meds!




You must allow yourself to be touched by the madness of our times.


"We know there are known knows: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns- the one's we don't know we don't know we don't know."


Barbie didn't give me a poor body image.
Barbie taught me that you can't reattach a head once it's been removed from the body.
IF A DOOR CLOSES,
QUIT BANGING ON IT.
Whatever was behind it was not meant for you.


Consider that perhaps, the door was closed because you're worth 
so much more than what was on the other side.


Please Stay Home-You Bring The Average IQ Down Everywhere You Go
Life is full of questions.

Idiots are full of answers.
    5 out of 4 people







 struggle with math
society:
"just be yourself."
also society: 
"no, not like that."
Das Gehirn ist übrigens keine Seife.


Es wird nicht weniger, wenn man es benutzt.


Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.
Ab dem 27. September ist
die CDU/CSU nicht mehr in der
Regierung, weil sie bei der
Briefwahlunterlagen.

So what's 'best' in 'dumbest'?



I'm not losing my memory
I'm just really good at letting go of the past
Ich habe so manche Sünde in der festen Überzeugung begangen, dass der allwissende Gott selbst gesehen hat, dass es gerade nicht anders ging.



 pulled dog


To know how to eat well, one must first know how to wait.
Know the difference between what is important, and what is urgent.
The true essence of any home originates from the kitchen.




if you want breakfast in bed
sleep in the kitchen

in Deutschland wollen parlamentarische Kräfte das Weltklima kontrollieren wie den Heizkörper im Wohnzimmer
I want the kind of sex that starts off in the kitchen.
snaccident

[snack-si-dent]: noun

Eating a family size bar of chocolate, entirely to ones self, by accident. 
Then announcing the diet starts tomorrow.
TAKE ME TO ABANDONED CASTLES,
COBBLESTONE STREETS, ANTIQUE STORES,OLD CEMETERIES, SMALL PUBS, SLEEPY SEASIDE TOWNS .
Life is short.

Lick the bowel.


...not the one in the bathroom...
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee...

if the item doesn't multiply, catch fire, smell or block the refrigerator door, just let it be.


The heart of the home beats in the kitchen and a healthy one beats three times a day.

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.
The recipes of my daughter amount to 'Cans I have heated'
No one became a great cook just by reading the recipes.

dilettierende Apokalyptiker



a kitchen sponge is just like a pair of jeans - just when it can get into every groove and crevice comfortably, it's time to break into a new one





I did not survive drinking cheap wine as a teenager  to get taken out by a virus named after a beer.
...the wheel is spinning, but the Hamster is dead.
sometimes we are just the collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves.
Ich bin kein Impfgegner, ich bin Impfzwanggegner.


Und jemandem vorzuwerfen, er sei Impfgegner, weil er sich nicht impfen lassen möchte und keinen Bock auf eine Zwangsimpfung hat, ist wie einer Frau Prüderie vorzuwerfen, die keine Lust auf eine Vergewaltigung hat.
the only reason you need sport is so you can look good naked.



If you can't stand the heat...
get out of the kitchen

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.