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When you tried to burn us, calling us "Witches!" You showed us what you were really afraid of... Magic. That ALL women are.
The first mushroom eaters were some brave sumbitches. All that trial and error like: This one tastes like beef, this one killed Bob immediately, and this one makes you see God for 2 days.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.
one drop of a b r a c a d a b r a ' and its magic
The sense of time depends on which side of the toilet door you are on at the moment.
I fired myself from cleaning the house. I didn't like my attitude and i got caught drinking on the job.
I WILL BE POSTING TELEPATHICALLY TODAY, SO IF YOU ARE THINKING OF SOMETHING FUNNY THAT WAS ME ;-))
social media gives legions of idiots the right to speak when they once only spoke at a bar after a glass of wine, without harming the community ... but now they have the same right to speak as a nobel prize winner. it's the invasion of the idiots. - umberto eco
Sometimes you just need that one person who believes in you.
I recall a story about an elderly woman who was known for saying kind things all her life. Someone asked her how she managed to do this, and her answer was, "Before any words come out of my mouth, I taste them first."
my truths and yours might not be the same. and that is OK
My ability to deal with chronic pain is my Superpower
Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but to materialize.
Don't treat people as bad as they are . . . Treat them as good as you are . . .
a good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
To remember who you are, you need to forget who they told you to be. . .
You will never know how amazing your story can end if you keep living the same chapter. Turn the page.
I'm not sure if I want to go out and wish I was home, or stay in and wish I was out
JOIN THE 3 DAY CHALLENGE! NO COFFEE ON FEBRUARY 29, 30 AND 31!
gotta stop reading books when they start to bore the fuck out of me
No books, no life. Know books, know life.
*cross-training with strudel and a corndog
I'm offended that you're offended at my being offended. Therefore, our offenses cancel each other out. #Cancelled
I'm offended that you're offended at my being offended. Therefore, our offenses cancel each other out. #Cancelled
Some mornings I have to add some magic to my coffee so I don't bitch smack people
No books, no life. Know books, know life.
I will never understand why you did not believe in yourself... Because I always believed in you...
ABRACADABRA! NOPE... YOU'RE STILL A BITCH
DRINKIN' RUM BEFORE 10:00 AM MAKES YOU A PIRAT, NOT AN ALCOHOLIC!
IF YOU COULD MAKE ONE THING DISAPPEAR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
When i touch your hands it feels like magic
GREAT & small WE ARE ALL MAGICAL CREATURES BELIEVE IT!
God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn't. Trust and let go. Whoever is meant to be there will still be there.
She looked like a good kisser to me... (Glad I was right!) #LuckyMe
Es bitzli Feriä, es fühlt sich a wie Feriä. Ich bin en Zürimaa in Bern.
When moments of happiness rest upon your Life without you having to orchestrate anything.
Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.
Nominal ascent and Safe return For us all.
HAPPINESS IS ........swinging in an office chair for no reason.
if rubbing magic lamps does not generate a genie - lick the moon on an ice cube instead and settle for a silver sprite
If I like you enough to show you the real me, you must be someone very special.
STYLE IS A SIMPLE WAY OF SAYING COMPLICATED THINGS.
Chemistry.
Nothing in life is as bad as it is in our minds. Thats magic and tragic.
inside ~ s ' , . , ' t ` : p e a : ` y 'r l s' e , \ : / , o . shells . r ' / : \ ' ' : . : ' ` . , _ , . `
Spring is coming. This is such a relief.
Don't lose your spark.
It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today or naked tomorrow
You look like something I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying, "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.
If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal Listening to them - common Arguing with them - acceptable Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food they say the ones you love hurt you the most
THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is a beautiful concept. unicorns too.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. But I would rather be alone with you.
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