Welcome

Learn More
Happiness is just sadness that hasn't happened yet
I DON'T ALWAYS FART IN BURGER KING, BUT WHEN I DO IT'S A WHOPPER !
a very wise person once told me, "if you stress too much about something before it happens you are basically putting yourself through it twice." 
i feel like some of you people need to hear that.
    

  EVERYTHING   
 HAPPENS FOR   
   NO REASON




Dear Window Shopper,

We are closed.
I THOUGHT ABOUT WISHING YOU A HAPPY MONDAY! ...
BUT THATS LIKE SAYING 
"ENJOY YOUR ROOT CANAL!"




Follow your dreams
Remain asleep

Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem

          Yes, let the cute, tiny girls fart
         their unicorns and butterflies...












   ...as smart-ass i fart whole galaxys!!!
CHILDHOOD IS MEASURED OUT BY SOUNDS AND SMELLS AND SIGHTS, 
BEFORE THE DARK HOUR OF REASON GROWS.





                     _____                       _____
                 ++++++                  ++++++
                 It's  crappy           to  force 
                 a  fart,  or  love.  To  force 
                    either    one,    or    the 
                          o t h e r,   l e a d s 
                                   t o   s h i t. 
                                        =  = =



The word "phonetically" doesn't even start with an F

Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us



GOVERNMENT 
*********************
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions
IT'S GETTING INCREASINGLY HARDER TO TUMBLE OUT OF BED AND STUMBLE TO THE KITCHEN AND POUR MYSELF A CUP OF AMBITION!







  Mhm...this smell of a weekend!

Sarkasmus.

Der Retter in der kognitiven Einbahnstraße.



     
  JUST DON'T DO IT.
Its never too late to go back to bed
Family isn't always blood.




It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.
i may not be your cup of tea but i'm totally your 10th shot of tequila.
HER:
WHAT IS THAT BEAUTIFUL SCENT YOU ARE WEARING IT SMELLS EXPENSIVE.

HIM:
IT IS, IT'S GASOLINE.
Where did all the hippies go?




It's always darkest 
just before it goes  pitchblack
When you know your worth,









no one can make you feel 
                                      worthless.



I may be crazy
But, at least I
have each other


Other people are out there living YOUR dream.



They say money talks. 

But all mine says is goodbye
I am at this age when I accept myself the way I am, no matter of others comments to make me low. I am at last  free from the burden of needing others to accept me. It really does not matter what others are - as I am not looking at all. I have my conviction, I have my truth , I have my road to to follow....

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink



Proportion your expenses to what you have, not what you expect.




Who cares about the erosion of Democracy?
ever notice how most people when they are giving directions over the phone, will point like the person could see them?
I drink to forget,
but I don't forget to drink



Be a catalyst for change don't sit on the sidelines
I HATE STARTING A NEW RELATIONSHIP..
I GOTTA ACT LIKE I'M NOT CRAZY FOR TWO MONTHS?


We found a few pills here and a few pills there.  Here- a pill, there a pill everywhere those little pills. Word on the street was right...Old McDonald ran a pharm.



It takes thirty seven muscles to frown but

It only takes zero muscles to shut the fuck up
i have discovered the fountain of youth, and it looks and tastes a lot like tequila.




If three quarters of,
Your G and T is tonic,
You have fucked it up.




Follow your dreams
Remain asleep

War is god's way of 

Teaching Americans

about geography
I don't have a train of thought.

I have seven trains, on 4 tracks, that narrowly avoid each other when the paths cross and all the conductors are screaming.
today i am six years bold. :-)




Dogs have no idea what's happening and I am so jealous of them





Just breathe
"A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have."



To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid




"Well, your first mistake was in putting your trust in us." - Anonymous Elected Official

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.