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Posts Liked by Randummie

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

534

she's a mess of gorgeous chaos & you can see it in her eyes.

332

if you've been left, go write

254

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

445

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

478

Let's make out before we vomit.

13

"Shit, I have to break up with her in person? Isn't there an easier way?"

-Alexander Graham Bell

21

Morning. Gross.

14

clean
is boring

15

It's like a fountain. But not really.

Take a picture!

14

Weekend.

Don't forget to change your attitude from
"I hate my job" to "I hate my life".

29

now i've got this feeling once again, i can't explain, you would not understand, this is not how i am

i... have become comfortably numb

186

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

To be in the 1%, you have to do what 99% won't.

288

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

377

Never trust a warm toilet seat

303

The things about beards; they kind of grow on you.

150

I'm in competition
with no one..
have no desire
to play the game of being better than anyone..
just simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday •

445

Right now, somebody is hard at work in a factory, shoving chocolate eggs up a bunny's ass, for you.

196

Yes mom I know my room is a mess it's a metaphor for my life, i'm trying to be poetic.

462

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything

783

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

Wear me like you mean it.

205

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty

and I could not have described it any better

583

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

531

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

582

Calm down, browser.
I cant make a connection either.

326

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

lovers

that word really bums me out

..unless its between cheese and pizza

244

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

And maybe at night when we're all a little too tired and a little too truthful, that's when we see ourselves for who we really are.

564

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

My immaturity keeps me young.

470

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

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