Harrumble's Posts

Carbs taste like the approval of a Parental Figure

#Harrumble, #Boldomatic

Carbs taste like the approval of a Parental Figure

#Harrumble, #Boldomatic

What am I getting for Christmas?

Drunk.

I'm getting fucking Drunk.

CurrentNobody likes this

What are my kinks?

Honesty. Integrity. Truthfulness.
Decency.

Fionacatherine and CurrentNobody like this

You might very well think that;
I couldn't possibly comment.

#Sir, #Francis, #Urquhart, #House, #of, #Cards, #Michael, #Dobbs, #Plausible, #Deniability

CurrentNobody likes this

I wouldn't do overtime, even if you paid me.

CurrentNobody likes this

Hush little baby don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you...

Drugs.

hey.its.mira and sudeshnarocks like this

Maturity isn't never being silly.
Maturity is knowing when to be serious.

I just want my house clean enough so if someone drops by unexpectedly,
it doesn't look like I'm six days into battling a poltergeist.

Don't study me; you won't graduate.

Be careful whom you trust; the Devil was once an Angel.

Yes, I may be crazy, but crazy is far better than being stupid.

hey.its.mira, NerdWord and sudeshnarocks like this

I couldn't be any more unlucky if I sat on a black cat beneath a ladder breaking mirrors.

hey.its.mira likes this

There are some people I look at and think,
"You are the cum shot that your Mother should have swallowed".

sudeshnarocks, InfluenceNoise and beingme like this

I came.
I saw.
I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing.

Authlander likes this

I see your
Silent Treatment and raise you a
Sod Off.

sudeshnarocks likes this

My favourite word is "apparently" as it makes anything sound sarcastic.

He's intelligent. Apparently.

jmb and sudeshnarocks like this

I guess you could say we broke up because of religious differences.
They thought they were God, and I'm an Atheist

Fionacatherine, dor1316, Viciouse31, UserOne, ChrisRota and InfluenceNoise like this

reposted by Viciouse31

It would appear that "Not being a selfish, narcissistic git"
is considered to be kinky nowadays.

Who knew?

beingme likes this

If you're kinky and you know it clap your...

Oh.

beingme likes this

I think I may need professional help...
A chef, a maid, and a butler should do it.

beingme likes this

If money can't buy happiness,
I guess I'll have to rent it.

jmb, dor1316, ChrisRota and beingme like this

I'm writing a love poem called "Put the Dishes in the Dishwasher, But Not Like That".

Reposted from 2schaa

jmb, 2schaa and beingme like this

Is charging a dead battery revolting?

jmb, Fionacatherine and beingme like this

Tonight I'll be having my favourite drink.

It's called 'a lot'.

Fionacatherine and InfluenceNoise like this

Don't let me detain you.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Some people are solid gold.
Others are merely gold-plated.

What part of one's anatomy is the “money-maker” again??

I think mine has some sort of congenital birth defect.

Reposted from anonymous

kenwats likes this

We'll burn that bridge when we cross it.

jmb likes this

Burning bridges was a lot easier when 7 out of 10 people had lighters in their pockets...

Reposted from sudeshnarocks

sudeshnarocks likes this

The world's a theatre, and the building's condemned.

My customer service voice is a completely different person.

Even I don't know who they are.

The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.

We must learn who is gold, and who is simply gold plated...

Reposted from sudeshnarocks

sudeshnarocks likes this

"Wet Floor."

Apparently this is NOT an instruction.

janem803 and emiledi77 like this

Dishes!
We meet again,
you dirty bastards.

emiledi77 likes this

I turn into a mob boss when I see a cockroach.

"I want him dead!"

"I want his family dead!"

"I want his house burnt to the ground!"

swatchUSA likes this

Nothing bad ends with "tini."

This, too, shall pass.

It might pass painfully, like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Society has improved immensely. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics.
Just what Society should be.

I like to have a martini,
two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table.
After four I'm under the Host.

True friends stab you in the front.

If it were as easy and as simple as that,
everyone would be doing it without a problem.

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading.

People like a show.

#quotes, #SirTerryPratchett, #TerryPratchett, #Discworld, #GoingPostal, #LordVetinari, #HavelockVetinari, #Vetinari

Authlander likes this

On your mark,
get set,
go fuck yourself.

pipp likes this

I don't have the time, or the crayons, to explain myself to you.

emiledi77 likes this

It's Thursday,
or as I like to call it: "Day Four of the Hostage Situation."

emiledi77 likes this

"What fresh hell can this be?"

My response to everything.

With so many things
Coming back in style
I can't wait until morals
and respect become a trend again...

Reposted from sudeshnarocks

sudeshnarocks likes this

IF YOU'VE GOT IT
HAUNT IT.

Reposted from anonymous

Quoth the passive-aggressive Raven,

"...Nevermind."

#Poe, #TheRaven, #Poetry, #EAPoe

Authlander likes this

Sometimes the gene pool could use a bit more chlorine.

Apparently "Vodka" isn't
"A helpful reply" when asked for ways to improve team meetings.

What a pile of shit.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

#cynicism, #oscarwilde, #wilde, #quotes

What could possibly go right?

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

#oscarwilde, #wilde, #marriage, #cynicism

It must have been love
but I'm sober now.