killerjoe's Posts

l'm the pink panther but I'm black. Go figure....

If you're actually going to convict someone in authority who murdered a citizen in the course of performing his duties, don't wait until the country is in the middle of an epidemic associated with significant upticks in suicides and opioid abuse along with all imaginable sequelae of societal-level dysfunction.

[But right is right and wrong is wrong. Will we ever learn? If not now, when?]

I'm invisible and free.

It used to be, my ego defenses were often on high alert.

But I listened to the music and let it carry me away.

WHO YOU IS FOR REAL

If all men were Jewish Israelis and all women were Palestinian Muslims,

and you were the ethical knight in shining armor you want others to think you are,

you'd be the apple of every mother's eye.

However, who you is is who you is.

It's pure good luck that we've got the Palestinians to worry about, abused so inhumanely by the Jewish Israelis.

So we don't need to express concern about the fate of the Yemenis at the hands of the Saudis. They're not Jewish.

The State's Attorney usually has lots of police reports on which she or he can follow up. Far be it for you or me to pass judgement on the selection process.

Indeed, with our own unfettered freedom of moral judgement, we can turn a blind eye to the oppression of people born with a condition they can't change: females.

"Why?!"

The question springs from the mouth like a physiological reflex.

But it often requires a bit of cogitation to ask the opposite question: Why not?

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It's a wonderful confluence, the amazing advances in AI and robotics, and the ever-rising death toll from coronaviruses.

I've signed up for the corporations vaccine -- I noticed that they never get sick and die. Only their employees do.

They seem to be correlated so very positively, volume and ignorance.

Sure, causality is an inference. But I have my suspicions.

I condemn the Vatican but that doesn't mean that I am anti-Catholic.

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MY INDEPENDENT FACT-CHECKER SAYS THAT YOURS IS JUST PLAIN FULL OF IT.

HOW D'YA LIKE THEM APPLES, YE BOOK WHO DARE NOT SHOW YOUR FACE IN PUBLIC?

Everybody has rights. It's just that some have more than others.

High-Intensity Interval Shopping

a. bring two huge shopping bags with handles, buy, in sequence, 1 kg of mushrooms, 2 kg of tubers, 10 kg of papayas, 2 kg of paprika, 2 kg of cauliflower, and 1.5 kg of eggplant.

b. divide the load equally between the two bags, raise the two bags off the ground by performing a standard "dead lift," walk about 20 m. in the direction of the taxi stand.

c. stop, set the bags down, breathe, perform another dead lift, walk about 10 m. toward the taxi stand. (repeat as needed until you get there. curse.)

An offer whose reception could surprise:

'Okay, you don't like cops shooting black folks, fine, no more cops, but black people do the policing.'

Ziya likes this

A gun is a force multiplier, as is authority.

Nobody needs either one in order to be a good person.

On the other hand, both come in handy if you're not a good person.

(A trillion dollars is essentially neutral, so what you do with it helps to clarify which kind of person you are. And there is no such thing as a morally neutral person.)

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"Give me liberty or give me death," he exclaimed.

"Better dead than red," they thundered.

"When they pry it from my cold, dead hands," he replied.

"If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'," he added.

"Not on your life," he retorted, "not as long as I have anythig to say about it."

(Ironically, the universe had been listening the whole time and, well, the rest is history, like it always is.)

Funny how the things that impress us most are also the most expensive things.

Nobody wants to say it but everybody sees it:

"Social control" is dead, the authorities are now pleading with the masses.

(If this tide has turned, can economic equality be far behind?)

Well, I was rollin' along, singin' my song, when - BANG!- I hit a speed bump. Hadn't seen it there in front of me. I backed up a bit, then continued on my way.

"her wife," "his husband"

Ordinarly, I'd have thought that adjusting to such utterly unanticipated social change would kill me. But, instead, I'm rolling with the changes.

(No, I don't really believe it. But I see it. That must mean something, not nothing.)

Youth is wasted on the young.

(True.)

Wisdom is wasted on the old.

(More true.)

Law is a profession and so is medicine.

Doctors and lawyers are professionals.

Do you know which one treats the other one like a child in need of parenting?

Ever wonder how they get away with that shit?

Law is a profession. And so is medicine.

Doctors and lawyers are professionals.

Can you guess which one treats the other one like a child who needs help from a parent figure?

It's the leader of the pack
who is on trial.

If a pack has no leader, can
the members still
be charged?

Or is having no leader
a legitimate
defense?

If it wasn't a defense on Jan. 6,
why aren't all of them
on trial now?

Some people are kind and generous, observed my neighbor; and others are hateful and greedy.

Same species, I replied. What differs is the particular culture involved.

And so we destroyed racism and replaced it with sociology.

My neighbor mentioned it today: before there was money, people relied on the barter system.

It hit me like a brick: nobody couldn't get nothing without working, I replied.

Just like that, a pair of nobodies invented socialism.

The first complaint about a particular form of institutionalized abusive behavior is useful for purposes of identification and nomenclature.

Subsequent complaints comprise nothing more than hydrogen and oxygen. (Their function is to negate allegations of having done nothing -- surely producing hot air is not nothing!)

In a time like this, could there be a distraction more fitting than hatred?

Congratulations on winning the lottery!

(and also)

Condolences on losing the lottery.

(You didn't get here without parents and you didn't get to choose them.

So, please: if you were lucky, don't think you deserved it, and if you were not lucky, also don't think you deserved it.

It's the biggest lottery of all and you had nothing to say about it.)

Cosmology and Moral Absolutism

Here comes the judge:

This is it: an eternity in heaven or an eternity in hell. Don't screw up.

As the wheel of karma turns:

Do your best and remember the game is never over and it can go either way.

LOCALLY:

"I vote the man, not the party."

INTERNATIONALLY:

I'm not registered to vote over there, and leaders come and go, so I just vote the nation.

GALACTICALLY:

I don't vote when I don't know sweet bugger all about anything and my vote wouldn't count anyway.

LONG, LONG AGO:
The British are coming!!

LESS LONG AGO:
Slap leather, hombre!

CURRENTLY:
Slap the Asian.

If wishes were horses, beggars would have both a courthouse and a whorehouse and everybody could see the difference.

If I go East, I'll end up in the U.S.

If I go West, I'll end up in the U.S.

Hey, I think I've found my comfort zone!

Take a minute and compare:

(a) All the evidence in the world against that pathetic asshole in the 'white' house.

(b) The effects of an outbreak of a virus.

(Starting to get the picture? Words don't mean shit. They just sound good.)

"Well, after all, it was you and me."

IDIOTS!!

A sit-down strike is not where you invite him to roll you over in the clover and do it again.

(What does your Mommy serve you for breakfast, Tweeties?)

IDIOTS!!

A sit-down strike is NOT an invitation to roll me over in the clover and lay me down and do it again.

(What are you eating for breakfast, Tweeties?)

IDIOTS!

A sit-down strike is NOT an invitation to roll me over in the clover and lay me down and do it again.

(What are you eating for breakfast, Tweeties?)

The unions would scream bloody murder if the employer announced that it was going to change the contract all by itself and that it would be the judge and jury if the union sued for breach of contract.

But the electorate will sit on its butt if their representatives announce that they're going to do the same thing in the case of the contract between the people and the government.

WHAT, YOU HAVE TO BE STEPHEN HAWKING TO UNDERSTAND THIS??

Here's why you'll be dying to own this new technology!!

[Take my word for it -- I wouldn't take advantage of your lowbrow need to keep up with the Joneses' Joneses just to make one more buck off your pathetic stupidity and fear of not keeping up with whatever shit the capitalists are dumping on you today; as they've been doing from the git-go. {P.S. You are a fucking moron without which the rich parasites might just have to wash their own limousines.}

He and his cluster of schmucks will be alright . . . provided that Americans continue to think that civil disobedience is worse than fascism.

Hey, shit-for-brains, if I'm raping you and you whine and complain, no problem -- just don't scratch my eyes out. Eh, that's my girl, keep on whimpering, I'm almost done and ready for another round.

(Who the hell ever told you that a rapist gives a good goddamn if you're sobbing? Or that right and wrong ever stopped a fascist takeover? Imagine that, me workin' for you! Sign, sign, everywhere a sign, blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind, do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs of the times? [Wake up, time to die.])

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." [Stephen Hawking]

Agreed -- special monkeys. With a dozen stories about the reason(s) why the special monkeys are you and me instead of some other kind of monkeys. Couldn't happen just by accident, could it? Hey, I asked you a question, homie! What's your story?

The virus has not yet been named.

It's an ill wind that blows no good.

To accommodate speakers of as many languages as possible, the name should end with a vowel.

So forget about 'the Trump virus.'

SAY HELLO TO MARALAGO VIRUS.

So very disappointing, all that evidence but no legal system in place.

Nothing to do but keep on complaining -- who knows, maybe complaints can create what we don't have: justice.

My confusion and disappointment lessened significantly once I acknowledged the bitter fact that lying itself is prima facie immorality.

And that tooth fairy? We called it quits. I took the dog.

We once were lost, but now we're found,
were blind but now we see.

GOVERNMENT HAS NO BUSINESS IN PEOPLE'S BEDROOMS!

(Signed: Religion)

Think I'll go an' create me an excuse to call in the U.N. so's we have something more inflammatory to crow about than we do now. I mean, hell, man, that impeachment evidence stuff is gettin' all piled up. Time to get off our butt and protect the good ol' U. S. of A. (Love it or shove it.)

"Rock me on the water,
Sister will you soothe my fevered brow,
Rock me on the water,
I'll get down to the sea somehow."

"They were so sure it couldn't happen here."

"In the naked dawn only a few survived,
And in attempts to understand a thing so simple and so huge,
Believed that they were meant to live after the deluge."

ANALOGIES IN EVERYDAY LIFE

You see a leg with a spear protruding from it and blood seeping out. Can you imagine that leg without that arrow and without that blood? Sure, you can!

You see around you a world filled with murderous violence and hatred among human beings. Can you imagine a world without that violence and hatred? Sure, you can!

(Let us now bow our heads in prayer because we've seen enough bloodshed and we want to go home to that better world that's a-waiting in the sky.)

"Nothing is forever." Except the past.

I'm making mine now! How about you?

It's the American way to speak out if something is wrong.

Just don't do anything about it.

What now? Single parent? Lost your job? Pre-existing conditions? Rising prices?

Hey, gimme a damn break. Didn't nobody ever tell you?

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

The funny thing about it is that you never know you're living in a Third World country until people who aren't tell you that you are.

"NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU" UPDATE

Old:

Nobody ever told you the world owes you a living.

New:

Nobody ever told you you had a right to fairness.

AMATEUR LOGIC ON THE LOOSE

Assuming consciousness and awareness on the part of others, when you find that people have withdrawn from your life, in fact they left before you knew it.

Ergo, when it comes to thoughts, we are always living in the past.

h/t Krishnamurti

When is a "social medium" not in fact simultaneously a governmental and/or corporate medium?

(When you're in a windowless soundproof room that has been scanned for bugs and you're using sign language.)

Right in your face, and there's not one damn thing that you can do about it.

(That's guaranteed if you're sure of it, and I do think you are.)

They said you couldn't yell "fire" in a crowded theater and get away with it.

Hah, I gotta hand it to him -- he ate their lunch and he's still chowing down right now.

ISRAELIS SLAUGHTER PALESTINIANS!

(Sure, *Muslim* Israelis kill *Christian* Palestinians -- but not in YOUR mind, because you're not a racist, right?)

Never let your guard down!

Left-handed men and women kill someone every day!

TRUMP IS NOT A DOUCHE BAG!

The proper term is "colostomy bag."

"But he had a very good reason."

(Tell your client he would have been better off if he had simply left it as ignorant negligence.)

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One pathetic loser
v.
everyone else in the world

[80, going once, going twice, do I hear 81?]

Social Psychology 101

1. Which of the following best describes the relationship between groups and members?

a. Groups can be crazy without their members being crazy.

b. Members of groups can be crazy wihout their groups being crazy.

c. Both of the above.

d. Neither of the above.

e. We'll meet again, don't know where, . . .

NO
WAR
TOYS
FOR
TOTS

They know damn well that if they really needed 80 million dollars, all they'd have to do would be to offer honorary Iranian citizenship certificates for $1 -- a human being with a conscience is not going to 'stand with the Americans' on this one.

(No need to worry -- passports can survive even terrorist attacks on skyscrapers [remember?], so what can Mushroom Head really to you, huh?)

If you speak Farsi, get these guys on the phone! Better to buy than to die.

What do stupid doctors with no commitment to any medical code of ethics say most frequently when they have a full bladder but there's a patient in front of them?

"It could be psychosomatic."

(Average IQ of only 125 but with a white sport coat and a stink carnation.)

Say, what about an exchange? A whole family of assholes in exchange for a single general!

Plus, you can break the hearts of a gazillion uneducated crackers with no caretakers.

(Just let us know the time and place, because this is one septic tank that we ourselves want to make sure gets drained until it's as dry as the Gobi desert.)

Sit your ass down right now and don't get up until sanity has returned.

Or kiss it good-bye. Maybe. If anybody knew which it'd be, and they were believable, things might be differen.

But as it is: what it is is what it is.

I don't like it but I guess things happen that way.

The "right time" was just now.

The time we're living on is borrowed time.

If we had even an ounce of integrity, we'd hand the asshole over to them with a 'do not return to sender' note attached.

What can we do to show them that we are not a part of this anti-Christ? Our 'rep' is on the line!

Answer: Nationwide complete goddamn strike except for essential services RIGHT NOW, while our thyroid glands are still not radioactivity traps.

What, the Iranians are offering 80 million bucks for Trump's head?

Hell, who couldn't use a few extra bucks?

(Shit, if they want the brains as well, I'll throw in his ass for free.)

If the earth's natural resources necessary for individual survival were distributed equally, who, I wonder, would vote to institute the war of all against war that we call capitalism?

(The guy who can't get laid for love nor money but is holding out hope in the case of money.)

If the global resources necessary for survival were distributed equally, who, I wonder, would vote to implement the war of all against all that is called capitalism?
(Find them, bring me their heads.)

What you feel in your heart:
Mom and Dad

What society demands you say:
Mr. and Mrs.

It's all over now.

Sooner or later.

One way or the other.

All we are is dust in the wind.

DO THIS NOW

There are enough voters in total to prevent the idiot from being reelected but they're aligned with different parties.

Answer: Independent write-in one-term-only candidate to "caretake" until the country gets its shit together.

(Ralph Nader, David Crosby, Fritz the Cat, Randy Rainbow, Fabian, Elvis -- anybody, anybody, anybody -- only four years, and we've already had four years we'd like to return to sender.)

It's a special kind of thing.

We report the religion or race or ethnicity of the victims.

But not that of the perpetrators.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

The Bible tells me so.

Ring in the new year, I say.

Wring out the old, say I.

I see that we're not supposed to mention the ethnicity/race of the perpetrators of the recent anti-semitic attacks in the U.S. Ipso facto, their religions should also not be mentioned.

Therefore, the organizational member- ships of those who endeavored to exter- minate [sic] various types of humans in the early forties is a mystery to us.

Accordingly, being baffled by everything, we are guiltless if we support a status quo already famous for destruction and murderous inhumanity in the service of the financial elites. (Amen.)

Just wait until it's all over, then go around looking for scraps with which to try to build a new life, a new nation. (Do not resist; provoking a wild pig can be dangerous. Besides, you might survive in the end anyway.)

How to tell a doctor from an arrogant fuckstick:

Simply clear you throat, open your mouth, and say: "From an arrogant fuckstick."

[Easier than you had imagined, huh?]

(I wouldn't be ashamed of my father no matter what kind of flaming prick he is. Because I'm a chip off the old block. Plus, the money is good and a lot of overseas assholes like us, too.)

Just imagine not being ashamed to appear in public when everybody knows your father is an immoral, greedy, racist misogynist!

Imagine having a father like tRump and not being ashamed to show your face in public!

Some people have no shame.

Others have enough for the whole neighborhood.

A client asks, "What is the proper form of address for someone with a Bachelor's degree in medicine?"

[First, determine the individual's gender identification. Second, choose whichever variant is appropriate: Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms.

In case of acute status discrepancy syndrome, replace with Lord or Lady if the gender identification is binary, and administer divalproex or haloperidol. Then change doctors.]

"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

If they were plutonium pellets, How'd He Do Dat would be dead.

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first."

Evolution:

Save our souls.
Save our ship.
Same old shit.

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$ALL THE ROTTEN ASSHOLES HAD HEART ATTACKS AND THEY ALL DIED! Okay, sure, fake news. But think: it's Christmas and you just got what you asked Santa to bring you; if only for a fraction of a millisecond.$

Self-Administered Panglossian Syndrome Inventory

Which of the following is closer to your own personal psychosocial Weltanschauung in the time of the Orange Madness?

a. It's not as bad as you think.

b. It's worse than you think.

Fionacatherine likes this

Life is sacred.

That's the explanation of why we lie so much.

Because if we told the truth, we'd kill ourselves.

The degree to which you are shocked, shocked, I tell you, by the unfolding secrets of the treacherous, immoral nature of the world of homo sapiens is a direct measure of how deeply you have been immersing your own self in diversions from reality, spouting all good things to spare yourself the discomfort of growing up.
Time has come today.

When legislated law produces an unfair outcome, the court of equity steps in to ensure conformity with natural law.

If the courts themselves fail to conform with natural law, the citizens step in.

Thus the final appeal is to the ultimate source of all authority: the will of the governed. Absent that, no authority is other than rudimentary power, and power knows no rules.

Say what? You're shocked and dismayed at the racism and sexism and class warfare and high-level corruption?

(I think you've been lying to yourself much longer than Mr. Fuckface has been lying to you. "Wake up -- time to die.")

Dear Mr. Claus:

Greetings to you and Mrs. Claus and all of the cute little reindeer(s).

All that we really wish to request of you this year is simple goddamn JUSTICE.

(If that orange maggot is still around next year, you best not show your funky ass 'round these parts.)

Respectfully,

Everybody In The World

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1. We are smart enough to conceptualize our own death, and scared in a way that animals will never experience.
2. The promise of a life hereafter helps me deal with my fear.
3. When you claim that your religion is better than mine, you are scaring me, even if I cannot recognize it as such.
4. When I get scared, I get angry just like you do, so in turn I must attack your religion.
5. Therefore, we must kill each other.
6. However, that is as it should be because neither your Creator nor mine welcomes someone unwilling to defend their faith in the Almighty.

If it happened that all of the world's major religions' holidays occurred at about the same time, would the result be world peace or world war?

Mr. fatuous fat orange daughter-grabber thinks that silence is consent. It's not. But in case it is, let a million people publicly offer to make a change purse out of his scrotum without charge -- without a hand-delivered letter from the orange asshole denying consent, well, where's my kitchen knife?

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"Send 'em back!," one of my openly racist college classmates liked to say. Send African-Americans 'back' to their ancestral home in Africa, he meant. And today, I think, he just might be urging that American Jews be sent back to their own ancestral home, too.

In his most perfect of all imaginable worlds, there'd be drones carrying viruses to Africa and missiles to Israel.

But that wouldn't necessarily mean that his likely anti-Israeli sentiments were also anti-semitic. I'm sure he'd tell you so himself. And someone would believe him.

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First they emphasize the rule of law, and of course you sign on. Then, they change the rules and screw you, but you've already committed to following the rules and you don't want to be branded a terrorist. (Real terrorists are clever enough to use what was intended to be a shield as a sword, but domestic victims of the con game can't quite think their way out of the box.)

Have yourself a merry little holiday

Make the Yuletide gender-fluid

So, we told 'em, it's gonna be like this unless you're man enough to stop us. We thought that was a pretty safe bet. And we still do.

What? That would be "wrong"?

Ha-ha. Baby, you don't know what's going on, you've been [asleep] for far too long.

Morality, that's so yester- day. (Get a life; your current one has exceed its expiry date.)

Better to shut down the country with a coast-to-coast sit-down strike before How'd He Doo Dat shuts down the government and replaces it with the State Duma.

Being old(er) does have various and sundry disadvantages.

However, in light of the current state of the nation, I perceive one advantage not available to younger folks: relatively fewer years remaining before you get out of this torture chamber.

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Mommy, mommy, I can't see the forest!!

Relax, darling, it's right there, just behind the trees.

But, mommy, I see so many corpora- tions and the wars never seem to stop.

Dear child, those are just the trees. Do you think people kill each other for no reason? When the food is hoarded by a minority of the monkeys, all of the monkeys get worried about the next meal, and hungry monkeys will kill you if that's what it takes to avoid their own starving to death.

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A "coincidence"??

Yes, two things occurring in temporal or geographic proximity are coincident.

However, coincidence is not causality.

(How come every time there is a coincidence, you just happen to have a conspiracy theory on hand?)

JE - long before Christ

BCE - after JE

CE - after Christ

IE - after CE

PE - after IE

TE - just D

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"Wow, someone was just unbelievably nice to me today!"

(That's great, I'm happy for you.)

*****
"Good Lord, some asshole really treated me like shit yesterday!"

(Why do you always have to make such a great big deal out of every little thing?)

Each day is as a lifetime unto itself, marked by a beginning and an end and filled in between with what we desire and fate permits.

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Each day is as a lifetime unto itself, marked by a beginning and by an end and filled in between by what we desire and fate allows.

Is it that a pimp is a broker, or that a broker is a pimp?

The man [sorry, girls] on the street feels wise in declaring that "truth is stranger than fiction." Sadly for him, the most fundamental conceptual building block common to the foundations of psychology, psychiatry, and sociology is the understanding that almost everything that passes for truth in everyday life is itself fiction, fiction supported by culturally-maintained values, norms, and belief systems, with a sprinkle now and then of individual-level cognitive and/or mental dysregulation. (Keep this under your hat [frequently plenty of unused storage space there].)

The populace is the macrocosm, the tourist is the microcosm: shows up hoping to get laid, shuffles off into the distance having gotten fucked.

That not all that glitters is gold does not mean that nothing that stinks to high heaven is indeed something other than shit.

That all that glitters is not gold does not mean that nothing that stinks to high heaven is not shit.

If there is no Creator, how comes it that there is such a high correlation between the average lifespan and the total aggregated quantum of shit that a human being can survive without committing suicide?

Climate engineering >> climate change >> weather pattern disruptions >> circadian rhythm pattern dysregulation >> neuroendocrine dysregulation >> emotional disturbances >> increased incidence of addiction, obesity, and suicide >> weasels in the chicken coop crowing like fucking bantam roosters on Viagra .

Yesterday I spontaneously gave my laptop the finger. Plastic piece of crap that it is, it responded by slowing down even more.

Gosh, just realized the bitter truth: There is no country at all for old men.

PARAMETERS OF AGING

1. Neurological and anatomical functioning decrease

2. Individual discretionary income decreases

3. Health insurance premiums increase

4. Social visibility and perceived value to the community decrease

Speak loudly if you are carrying a small stick.

Shared power is no power at all. I think this explains the love affair with capitalism and the fear of socialism. Single-payer health insurance is merely an example. There are many others. Track them down, root them out. We built this city on rock and roll.

Kindly bear in mind the quite simple and rather obvious fact that there is no such thing as justice in the absence of morality. (There can be only bullshit waiting to hit the fans.)

These days, you'd have to be nuts not to be crazy.

The truth is out there somewhere. Whatever it is, we are not going to like it. That's why we have to lie to ourselves and pretend that we really do want to know the truth. The truth is that we don't want to know the truth because we already know that the truth can be unimaginable. Whatever it is in fact, we pray that we never have to know. (Yes, that is indicative of psychosis; and, yes, that part of it we already do know.)

Who do you call when the fire department is on fire? [Nobody. The question is who do you text? But, either way, the answer for our world today can be only aliens or the Great Spirit, because we have succeeded in performing that act previously considered to be anatomically impossible.]

Honey, I shrunk the United States. If you don't believe me, take a look at what is called a president nowadays.

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In fact, there is no time whatsoever in between "getting to be that time" and "time's up." However, because nobody wants to be either too early or too late, everybody necessarily ends up being one or the other anyway, after which the historians take out their pens and try to explain what went wrong.

There is no time in between "getting to be that time" and "time's up." In essence, it's necessary always to be either too early or too late, and because nobody wants to be either one, everybody is necessarily always one or the other in the end.

My norms and values are better than yours, just as I myself am better than you. Therefore, it is just and fitting that I get what I want even if that means that you don't get what you need. Each of us chose to be who we are today, so don't expect me to buy into that capital vs. labor meme that is number one on the losers' agenda. The other 98% can just work harder if they don't like the outcome so far. God helps those who help them selves, and sometimes even urges the best among us to run for office and help themselves to all that they can get. Albeit when the tax man comes around, the house looks like an offshore rummage sale.

The need is clear, though the application could be problematic:

TWO INTERNETS, one of them curated all day long to cater to and accommodate users deriving their beliefs and moral systems from ancient texts; and the other one based on the concepts of free speech, empirical research results, and actual discussion of competing viewpoints. (I declare myself either to have "nailed it" or to have nailed myself to the cross.)

COLLUSION AND DECEPTION!!

On the 'big screen' of politics domestic and international, it's hard to ignore it, and we don't.

But on the little screen of the television set of your own life, you'll have to adjust your antenna if you want to see it -- and then they'll want to kill you, plus you yourself will want to die; but you're addicted to the very thing you hate because you've never known anything else.

You should have some sympathy for Trump - wanting to deport all non-Anglos, then thinking about the indigenous people, then thinking again, and finally concluding that maybe there's already been enough talk about deporting illegal aliens.

COMPARATIVE ETHNOMETHODOLOGY

How to handle a still un-reconciled instance of misbehavior? Acknowledge and apologize? Provide retribution? [This is the usual Western view.]

Alternative approach: treat the very citation of a past event itself as misbe- havior performed for the sake of gaining an undeserved strategic advantage in a present-time interaction. It constitutes "ungkit-ungkit" to refer either to your past bad actions or EVEN my own previ- ous good actions. "Function": absent the rule of law, purge the past to remove grounds for disagreements today.

No, it's not wrong to point to Trump's use of deflection and distraction. What is wrong is to continue the trial after the defendant has been found guilty on all counts. (Justice delayed is justice denied.)

For a society, an infant is a not-yet-productive component. In contrast, a retiree is a post-productive component. You and me, we proclaim the value of human life at even the fetal stage because we are God's creation, and we are enjoined to honor our fathers and our mothers - but what about the cost of keeping those retirees alive?! How about we just dump them on God's front lawn (traditionally, the front steps of the nearest Catholic church)?

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in what type of game do the dumber ones win and the smarter ones lose? our own answer is crony capitalism, and the smarter players congratulate us for our perspicacity, so we think we're not so stupid after all because the rich folks done told us we ain't as stupid as they know we are. (to be free of the dangers of virtulent democratic socialism, spray under your bed, 'cause that's where they like to park their limousines.)

What to do if your public single-payer health insurance plan is in debt to the service providers (hospitals) to the tune of, oh, $25 million?

(a) Shift some of the tobacco tax income revenues over to the health insurance system, affecting certain regional govt budgets much more than others?

(b) Require the patients to donate the cost of a pack of cigarettes directly to the hospital on each visit in addition to paying the monthly premium?

(c) Suggest that the insurance plan try borrowing the money from the banks?

My secret for getting along with people is simply to apologize in advance for everything I do in case somebody doesn't like it.

Wargames for fools: Amateur strategist Putin advises making the first move when conflict is inevitable. No, no, Vlad, Israel should wait around to make sure that Iran isn't trying to bluff them. That's what you mean, right, tovarish?

Are you now or have you ever been a member of any organization that advocates the insidious overthrow of the government of the United States of America? If not, what about your business partners?

So, a ranger who survived an attack by a bunch of white criminals is found alive and is nursed back to health by a guy passing by named Tonto. He could have just smirked at him and gone about his own business, of course, but the great spirit endowed human beings with free will. More to the point: the great spirit endowed some creatures with humanity. The others have to go looking for it in churches, but still they emerge smirking and proclaiming that they are not their brother's keeper. And thank you, Jesus, for that.

There is one little sticking point the entirety of whose meaning not enough people have grasped. If someone says "I dare ya!" and you indeed do not dare do it, whatever it was, your bluff has been called, you lose, and the more often you lose, the easier it is to bluff you next time. And the winner will not forget that he has made you the loser. Nor will anyone else. Sorry but that is the manner in which the cookie crumbles. (Ouch.)

If you have ever thought about being a public defender, beware: you have to actually get admitted to a real law school, actually graduate from the law school, take and actually pass the state bar exam, and then spend your days representing the rights and the interests of the poor and downtrodden. If that doesn't sound like the opportunity of a lifetime, you could just be president instead. (Is this a great country or what?)

If you aspire to being a public defender, you have to pass a law school admission test, actually graduate from the law school, then actually the state bar exam, and, finally, represent the interests of the poor and downtrodden. If all those requirements and responsibilities seem too intimidating for you, you can still be president. (Is this a great country or what?)

1-discovers fire, invents wheel
2-learns to talk better
3-religions, enlightenment, industrial revolution
4-technology for everybody/everything!
5-robotics, our new slaves
6-"AI," smarter than we are
7-head-scratching . . . .
8-naw, they wouldn't dare
9-brave new matrix
10-selective breeding
11-robots begin to wonder what's next after them
12-"nothing from nothing leaves nothing"
13-robots suffer normlessness and anomie, perform self-shutdown
14-cockroaches burrow into human graves, obesity incidence rises

You have first to formulate the question in order to get the answer you want but we are afraid now even to give voice to it: Are we enough in numbers and in steadfastness to get this ol' train of ours back on track?

Every person has an I.Q. but that's about where the similarity ends.

There are 1+ million expatriates outside the borders and we're forming a caravan to come and take back the country you dumb assholes are fucking up so badly. And, yes, we know where you live; but we can fix that.

Face it: the electorate is simply too fooking stuppid.

The biggest and most effective lie is that we are not liars.

i am watching the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the facist streets at dawn looking for an angry crust of bread

Time to let the horse out of the barn: why does contemporary music suck as it does? Combine Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of fame for everybody with the endless procession of "[insert location]'s Got Talent shows and you'll see that it's neither feelings nor insights that matter but vocal cord gymnastics: got nothin' to say but gonna say it real pretty. (Meanwhile, back in the jungle, you're stranded there and you can't run through this particular jungle, so you've got to go back home, back where you belong, get back to where you once belonged.)

It used to be a "thing" to be labeled a "non- conformist," and now, non-conformity has become the norm. Explanation: monkey see, monkey do, please just let me be like you.

I've got to "do my own thing" and so do you. Everybody has to do their own thing but still you shouldn't be overly different. So let's all be non-conformists together, shall we? Cool.

Quite literally, we do not know - not to mention understand - the world in which we live, and spend a whole lot of time and energy forgiving ourselves for that. This is "the great lie" in which every literate person is complicit. To accept quietly behavior that is wrongful is to "condone" it. What shall we call our refusal even to admit to ourselves that we know things which we dare not even admit to ourselves that we know? We have no such word for that for the same reason that fish have no word for water. "It is what it is," and 'scuse me while I disappear.

The fact that there have been climate changes during the last ten billion years means that there is nothing that we could do right now to affect climate change. Right? And, uh, intentional manipulation of weather can have no effects on climates. Right? 'Nothing I do or decline to do can have negative effects because I believe in the power of positive thinking.'

The question of whether there have been climate changes during the last ten billion years is NOT the question of whether we are capable of affecting the climate right now; of, if we are indeed capable, whether we are in fact doing so right now. [Issue: where does 'weather change' end and 'climate change' begin? If you don't know that, you don't know whether you're coming or going, do you?]

The biggest lie of all is that we are not the pitiful assholes that in fact we are. What more useful lie than that could anybody dream up? Once you swallow that crap, your mouth is an open sewer for all the garbage that has followed. (You'll wonder where the stench done gone went when you let the sun shine on the preening resident. Until then, be thankful that at least you have lived until this point, i.e., even if you can't stand one more minute of it. Be thankful for what you have had so far; don't be foolish enough to think tomorrow is waiting for you with a smile on its face. A nudum pactum does not give rise to an action in contract. Seize the day, or they will.

We are paying a terrible price for the education we are getting: (1) our country is filled with blithering idiots and nazis and theocrats; and (2) our political system itself is fucked beyond repair -- how could there be an organism such as Mr. Take-a-Dump in the White House if either of these were not true? (Sorry, we all know it's too embarrassing to acknowledge the truth. Shame on me for spilling the beans. Your beans, I mean.)

Should it not be made clear right now? "You mess with Mueller, you're walkin' on the fighting side of tens of millions of people, pendejo."

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Should the nation's stance not be about like this? "It's like this, fuckface: you mess with Mueller, whole lotta folks gonna mess with you. Try it and see."

The warden asked the prisoner if he'd like to have his sentence extended. Being a genius, he replied in the negative. But consider the other 7+ billion inmates outside the prison walls. Do they prefer to have their lives extended? Sure, they do. That's why it's so easy to throw a saddle on them and ride your way to personal wealth. ("Pony express" -- when one horse is exhausted, give the mail to another rider with a fresh horse. The mail must be delivered, the game must never stop. [Adjust your blinders if you feel reality creeping in and distorting your visions.])

The strategy is so simple that it might otherwise pass unnoticed if it weren't enacted at such a high level in the authority structure: Tell the first lie, then tell the second lie before they're finished confirming the first lie; continue as needed. (We all die in the end, so what's the difference if we cheat along the way?)

There is nothing worse than a revolution. Unless there is. Every case is different, e.g., 2018 is not 1776. MAGA: throw that fucking tea into the harbor and tell the king of the playground who thinks he looked like 'the king' that he would never have been fit to shine Elvis' shoes. Not to mention fill them.

Breaking the rules is labeled deviance; ironically, doing so is in fact the norm. This paradox is possible specifically because we cannot stand to acknowledge who we actually are and what we are really like. (We are so fond of pets largely because of their relative inability to devise plans to manipulate our understanding of reality; they are our innocent infants who never grow up and thus never force us to see what is in front of us. We despise sociologists for the opposite reason.)

How awful it would seem if at this particular moment the topic were to be changed from raping women to something else. For instance, financially raping 98% of both genders essentially everywhere in the world. So let us keep our eyes focused tightly on this or that individual alleged instance of sexual predation and close them tightly to the socioeconomic septic tank we live in. Are you good with that? (Sorry but somebody has to do the dirty work. Nothing personal. Literally impersonal.)

Let me get this straight -- all this time you had thought that that groovy 'karma' shit was a philosophical concept sui generis and not an institutionalized rationalization for an ethical system that, when it is convenient to do so, declines to distinguish between true and false and right and wrong? Haha, what size Birkenstocks do you wear?

Oh, so all this time you had never figured out that all that "karma" stuff is nothing more than institutionalized rationalization of an ethical system that frequently declines to distinguish between true and false and right and wrong. Probably you thought that the karma stuff came first and then the ethical systems followed. What's your sign, "bro" - DNR?

SURE, ALL THESE INCREDIBLY SICKENING TRANSGRESSIONS OF EVERY IMAGINABLE AND UNIMAGINABLE KIND OCCUR ONE AFTER ANOTHER, IT MUST BE THE PRINCIPLE OF RANDOMNESS AT WORK. (NO COHORT OF TAILLESS MONKEYS COULD BE SO UTTERLY PRIMITIVE AS TO HAVE NOTHING IN THE NATURE OF A CONSCIENCE. LOOK, THERE'S A GIDEON'S BIBLE ON A BEDSTAND RIGHT OVER THERE!)
SEND SOME THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS BUT KEEP YOUR FAT ASS GLUED TO THE COUCH. Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA NEED NO SELF-RESPECT WHERE YOU'RE HEADED, PUTZ.

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You used to feel hipper than hip every time you nodded your empty head in approval of "new day, same ol' shit," and now you wish those days would come back. (Att'n: lexicography dept - please add one more anatomical impossibility, viz., biting yourself in the ass.)

"Actus non facit reum nisi mens sit rea" (The act does not make a person guilty unless the mind is also guilty)

"Bona fides semper prae- sumitur nissi mala adesse probetur" (Good faith is always presumed if bad faith is not proven)

"Adversus solem ne loquitor" ('do not argue the obvious')

Hidup, segan. Mati, ga mau.

It would be flagrantly unpatriotic to come right out and say it, but, hell, life is short: if the fucking aliens want to take about 300 million people to have a giant barbecue on Venus, could you in good faith suggest some other country? . . . I'm waiting, come on, now, the time to tell the truth is upon us.

Some of this shit might actually be funny, if it weren't true. But, alas, it is true. Every dog has his day, and what could be more fitting than an entire nation of dogs going to the dogs? Weiner dogs, I mean.

Some of this shit might actually be funny if it weren't true. But it is true, so the joke is on you, asshole. Every dog his his day, and this entire country is going to the dogs - could anything make more sense?

Advice for liars from the Trump School of Successful Lying:

Just keep on lying -- either (1) people will give up on you as a human being or, (2) in the end it'll be clear that you are a liar (which is where we started this lesson, i.e., nothing ventured, nothing gained).

At worst, you'll be asked why you are a liar -- so at least the topic has changed from morality to abnormal psychology. Every cloud has a silver lining. (Okay, silver-plated, don't split hairs after I helped you out of a tight spot of your own making.)

MY, MY, ALL THIS TIME, ALL THIS BLOOD AND TEARS, AND STILL THE POPULACE THINKS THE PROBLEM IS SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE LICENSE TO STEAL CALLED "CAPITALISM." WITH 300 MILLION IDIOTS LIKE THAT, WHAT THIEF COULD BE HAPPIER?

THE BIGGEST SIN IS THE MOST OBVIOUS ONE: EVIL IS AFOOT AND THE POPULACE DOES NOT REALLY CARE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING UNTIL IT ENTERS THEIR OWN STINKING SUBURBAN HOME WITH GRANITE COUNTER TOPS. BUT ALL IS FORGIVEN ON SUNDAY.

Land of the Free vocabulary test:

separate but equal
poll tax
spook
jungle bunny
strange fruit
pickaninny
hymie
kike
wop
dago
spick
greaser
taco bender
fish-eater
christ-killer
Indian giver

What the German Jews' neighbors did for the sake of one language and one land, racist American "christians" are now doing for about the same reason.

(There is surely a special place in hell for them: in the corner, wearing the dunce cap.)

SEEMS TOO SIMPLE TO WARRANT REPEATING, BUT NOT EVERY ENEMY IS EQUALLY DANGEROUS, NOT EVERY LIAR IS EQUALLY DISHONEST, AND NOT EVERY FRIEND IS AS FALSE AS EVERY OTHER. IF YOU FAIL TO LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE, YOU WILL BE AS STUPID AS SOME OTHER PEOPLE ARE FULL OF SHIT. PAINFUL LESSON, BUT TOO DANGEROUS NOT TO LEARN, EVEN IF IT REQUIRES A LONG TIME AND REPEATED EXAMPLES. LEARN OR BE AS STUPID AS THEY ARE IMMORAL. BUY A DOG INSTEAD.

TOO SIMPLE TO WARRANT REPEATING, BUT SEEMS NECESSARY: NOT EVERY LIAR IS AS DISHONEST AS VERY OTHER LIAR, NOT EVERY EVENMY IS AS DANGEROUS AS EVERY OTHER, NOT EVERY IMMORAL PERSON IS AS IMMORAL AS EVERY OTHER, AND NOT EVERY IMMORAL PERSON IS UNABLE TO CONTRUCT AN EXCUSE BASED ON LOYALTY TO BLOOD RELATIONS THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MORALITY. (THAT IS WHAT I HAVE LEARNED AFTER LIVING 30 YEARS IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY. PAINFUL LESSON INDEED, BUT IF YOU DON'T LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE, YOU YOU WILL BE AS STUPID AS SOME ARE PEOPLE ARE IMMORAL.

Eh, I'm one spiritual kind of guy. Full of forgiveness. For myself, I mean. As for you, well, you don't seem to be any different from me, but of course I'm not looking at it from your point of view.

Oh, precious freedom of speech, freedom of the press! (No need to do anything more than 'like' a post -- let other people find it for themselves.)

DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER PEOPLE BY SHARING EVERYTHING THAT WAS SIGNIFICANT TO YOU.

(After all, you were born alone, will die alone, so why should you not suffer alone while you are alive?)

ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE, SHARE AND SHARE AND SHARE, THE WALLS *CAN* COME CRUMBLING DOWN!

BC: Before Christ
AD: After Death
CE: Christian Era
IE: Islamic Era
PE: Protestant Era
JE: (after Egyptian Era but BC)

REALLY PRETTY PATHETIC WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT: THE WORKERS MAKE THE RICH, THEN THE RICH MAKE THE LAWS, AND THEN THE WORKERS GET A BAD RAP FOR BREAKING THE LAWS WHICH THE RICH DESIGNED TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM THE WORKERS, AND PEOPLE GO TO THEIR GRAVES EVERY DAY THINKING THAT THIS IS ALL ACCORDING TO THE LORD'S PLAN. IT IS: THE GOLDEN CALF NEVER DIED, ONLY TRANSFIGURED ITSELF ENOUGH TO GET PAST THE MAJORITY AND PUT OUT THE EYES OF THOSE WHO CAN SEE. PRETTY SLICK GAME, BUT, HEY, WHAT'S A SHEPHERD WITHOUT A FLOCK OF SHEEP TO SHEAR?

TODAY'S SPECIAL - ACT NOW!!
[unilateral offer to contract]

I hereby offer my everything to "the right person" who is prepared to give me her/his/other everything, subject to my prior approval of what such person has to give and conditional upon their not giving any portion of what they may have to give to any other person absent my prior written agreement, 'til death do us part (and please be quick about it)

"Declaration of Personal Independence"

I CAN LIE TO MYSELF ANY TIME I WANT TO AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ALEX JONES. I CARE ABOUT MYSELF. HOWEVER, I HAVE TO CARE ABOUT ALEX JONES UNLESS I WANT TO BE THE NEXT ONE. THIS IS A MOMENT WHEN EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD BE STANDING, KNEELING, ROLLING OVER IN THE CLOVER, OR WHATEVER. THEY CAN'T COME FOR EVERYONE AT ONCE, BUT THEY HAVE BEGUN. GET IT?

FIGHTING BRAINWASHING

At birth, you couldn't even open your eyes, but 6-7 years later, you embraced one creed or another with all your heart. Hell, ten years later, you were ready to kill people who didn't.

Now, in a heterogeneous world, we must be on guard 24/7 because there are bad people everywhere who went to different elementary schools and are trying to CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS that your elders worked so hard to inject into your early childhood brains. Don't let them! FIGHT BACK, Einsteins of the world -- "be true to your school"

THE EVILS OF BRAINWASHING

At birth, you couldn't even control your sphincters, but by age 6 or 7, you embraced one creed or another with all your heart. Hell, ten years later, you were ready to kill those who didn't agree.

But now, in a heterogenous world, we must be on guard 24/7 because those bad people are everywhere, trying to influence your beliefs. FIGHT BACK against people who went to different elementary schools. They practice "brainwasing"! Don't let them pollute what your elders worked so hard to inject into your undeveloped brain fifty years ago. "Be true to your school," Einstein.

One plain Karma to go (hold the schmalz):

"When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate." (C. Jung)

Irrespective of the degree of snarkiness in the tone of my voice, let alone the volume thereof, the goddamn laptop will not do what I tell it to do. Do I have to take it out behind the barn and give it 'what for'? Listen here, you rebranded made-in- China mishmash of plastic and silicon: I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! You want to live, you do what I fucking tell you to do! (Jesus, kids these days!)

No matter how snarky the tone of my voice or even how loud the volume, the goddamn laptop just will not do it what I instruct it to do. Do I have to take it out behind the shed and give it 'what for'? Patience is a virtue, they say, but they who said that had never met my goddamn laptop. OBEY ME OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!

Recipe for creating new jurisprudence:

Prepare a solution made from basic principles of justice:

a. lex ex post facto
b. nunc pro tunc
c. lex posterior
d. qui prior est tempore, potior est jure

Mix together to reach the consistency of diarreha-driven fecal matter, then spread equally between the left and right halves of the prefrontal cortex:

'If Obama wasn't impeached, a priori Trump shouldn't be impeached."

Recipe for creating new jurisprudence:

Mix together the following principles, stir until reaching the consisrtency of diarrhea-driven feces:

a. ex post facto
b. nunc pro tunc
c. due process

Next, spread the resulting bullshit all over your computer screen and assert that the failure to prosecute a prior alleged offender is a complete defence to a subsequent accusation. (Example: if Obama wasn't impeached, ipso facto Trump shouldn't be impeached.)

The paradox seems to escape the attention of the majority: If you proclaim that you adhere to any religion at all, ceteris paribus you "believe" in the teachings of that religion, which in and of itself negates the need to provide evidence or other support for the assertions that constitute the things that you believe. In short, religious 'belief' denotes the end of a discussion which would have been irrelevant ab initio simply because a religious belief is inherently inarguable. Lay on us this day our daily bread, dude.

And so it has been for ages, the people waiting for the other shoe to drop (oblivious to the fact that shoe factories' profits are showing no signs of weakening). But there is always tomorrow [just like there was one every day last week].

The executive taking a leak just before the board meeting but generously allocating a brief moment for dispensing sound advice to the guy cleaning the other urinals: "Hard work is the key to success (try scrubbing harder if you want to be like I am one day and have someone else be you)."

UNGRATEFULNESS, LACK OF

Mother earth: we've given her untold amounts of plastics and carcinogens and oil spills and air pollution and extinction of every type of creature under the sun, and what do we get in return? Tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, thunder and lightning.

Get your shit together, Mom, or we'll cut down the rest of your trees and turn your oceans into pure garbage dumps with no water left at all. Don't push us too far or we'll move to Mars and leave you all alone all by yourself. Who ya gonna turn to then, eh? (Talk about selfishness!!)

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THE WHOLE AND ITS PARTS AND SUM OF US

The reputation of the US these days is as low as a significant minority of its citizens has always been. Proposed proximate cause: the absence of a salient opposing idiom for "racist asshole"; fundamental cause: 'the social media,' capitalism's substitute for reading, writing, and 'rithmetic [logic is dead when the house itself is "peopled" by rats and the flavor of the day is Never On Sunday].

So, there you were, homesteading 'way out on the prairie in the Wild West. Of course, you had to haul out the ol' shotgun now and then to scare off them heathen natives who had an eye on your favorite horse, but the roar of your 12 gauge made 'em think twice. And then one night you heard the horses shuffling around again, so again you shoved a shell in your trusty ol' shotgun but, lo and behold, it was the sheriff out in the corral! So you had to hem and haw and pretend that you didn't notice that he was about to ride off on a horse that he hadn't ridden in on. He's paid to protect you from those heathens, so, uh, you can't shoot the sheriff himself. Can you?

When our beloved fascists want to kill someone, first they flood the internet with complaints, but then they hire someone to shoot the fucking guy. See, they're not really the dumbest assholes in the room -- the electorate is. We think that sticks and stones will never harm the enemy but words will. We fucking flunked third grade even. Think you'll live long enough to graduate to fourth grade? That's a big leap, from first-class idiot to fourth-grade elementary school student. Are we up to it? Hmmm.

"False imprisonment occurs when a person is restricted in their physical movement within any area without justication or consent. Physical imprisonment is not necessary for false imprisonment to occur. False imprisonment is a common-law felony and a tort. It applies to private as well as government detention." ~~ Wikipedia

SHARE THIS GODDAMN THING!

Who gets hurt worst when you lie to yourself? Take this test: "Aw, gosh, he's turning our country into a cesspool of every imaginable variety . . . but there's nothing we can do about it because we delegated authority to him and his pack of rabid dogs and, you know, once given, authority cannot ever be retracted even when it is so egregiously misused, so we'll just have to sit here and wait it out. [Still a wee bit of hope for you if you recognize how fucking stupid that sounds. ("If," I said).]

HOW I'M DIFFERENT FROM YOU:

Your most vivid fantasy is a bullet piercing his mechanical head and scattering the globs of plastic hither and thither.

Mine is 50 million bullets getting to the real root of the problem.

(That's because he didn't make himself up out of thin air but rather was put in place by a conglomeration of racist capitalist fellators masturbating each other wrapped in a big American flag that didn't cover as much as they had imagined.)

EVERYBODY WAITING FOR THE FINAL SCENE IN THE TRAGEDY IN WHICH ALL HAVE BEEN CAST WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION -- IT'S ALL UP TO THE DIRECTOR AND THE PRODUCERS, NO INTERMISSION TO RUN OUT TO THE SNACK BAR FOR THAT POPCORN YOU ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT AS IF YOU WERE MERELY AN AUDIENCE MEMBER THOUGH THIS IS NO MOVIE THAT YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO WATCH.

THE IRONY -- SAME OUTCOME WHETHER THE DIAGNOSIS IS MASS HALLUCINATION OR MASS DENIAL. (Haha, nice while it lasted, but that's all over now, BabyBlue.)

"... a lost batallion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire escapes off window sills off Empire state off the moon . . . whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the pavement . . . who wandered around and around at midnight wondering where to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts . . . " ~~ SOUND FAMILIAR YET? NO? ". . . ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you're in the total animal soup of time . . . "

Being smarter than the other monkeys, we are able to pretend that we are not like them. On the other hand, when all the food is gone and there's only you and me left and I gave up vegetarianism long ago, well, I couldn't let the species go extinct just for the sake of one person, could I? Could you? Could anyone? [Kill yourselves, species of liars who lost their tails long ago but whose dicks can always find someone else's ass, especially rich dicks and poor asses.]

The fat is in the fire, the water's boiling over, and nobody can do anything about it? "Learned helplessness." SIT DOWN STRIKE COAST TO COAST, LEST IT BE ON YOUR RECORD THAT YOU DIDN'T WHEN YOU FUCKING COULD HAVE.

WHAT YOU WANT THE WORLD TO BE LIKE: PEOPLE JUDGED ON THEIR UNIQUE INDIVUDAL CHARACTERISTICS. WHAT YOU GET INSTEAD: PEOPLE JUDGED ON THE BASIS OF THEIR MEMBERSHIP IN GROUPS. (WORST KNOWN SYSTEMIC VIOLATION OF THE PRINCIPLE OF DUE PROCESS: INSTEAD OF NEGATIVE SANCTIONS, THE RESULT IS ADOPTION OF MISBEHAVIOR AS AN EVOLVING SOCIAL NORM, i.e., THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE WITH A THOUSAND FACES.)

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THE LIMBIC SYSTEM TAKES CARE OF THE ROUTINE STUFF, SUCH AS BREATHING IN AND OUT WITHOUT HAVING TO THINK ABOUT IT. WE GOT ONE; THE OTHER HOMINIDS GOT ONE. OUR SPECIAL SAUCE? WE HAVE A FOREBRAIN, AND IF YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THOSE, YOU CAN CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM AND BETTER THAN THOSE OTHER MONKEYS AT THE SAME MOMENT THAT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR IS A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE THAN THAT OF THE OTHER MONKEYS TO WHOM YOU FEEL SUPERIOR (BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD YOU YOU WERE, ON TELEVISION OR IN A BOOK). MAZEL TOV, TODAY YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN PEN, IN YOUR OWN MIND.

It cannot possibly be anything other than this: We continue to hope, and to urge others never to give up hope, because hope is always the second-to-the-last to go in a sequence whose endpoint nobody wants to see. (Driver, where you taking us?)

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME: WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG IF YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF TAKING SIDES?

("I'm talking about you, yeah, nobody but you, I do mean you now, I'm just trying to get a message to you now.")

I'm sick and tired of all this deviant-
izing of pedophiles. Who but Scrooge doesn't like children? Where is it written that sex is to be regulated but love is not? Sure, stick to that for which you can adduce evidence; and as for love, just ask a million lonely house- wives about the difference between heaven and hell. Love? "It's a losing game, you start with fire but you lose the flame." "But if that's all there is, then let's keep on dancing, let's break out the booze." After all, "We are but a moment's sunlight dancing in the grass" and "you're never the same when you've been under fire." So "let it go, let it go, let it flow like a river."

I'm sick and tired of this deviantizing of pedophiles. Who but Scrooge doesn't like children? Sure, the govt can legislate who you can penetrate. But sex is not love, and love is not sex. "Money can't buy me love", nor can the govt provide it. It can only forbid sex. As for love, "it's a losing game, you start with fire but you lose the flame." So stick to what for which you can adduce evidence and tell yourself that you've got the best of all possible worlds, Dr. Pangloss. In your case, you do, "so break out the booze and have a ball." "After all, "we are but a moment's sunlight fading in the grass."

LESSONS LEARNED IN THE FUTILE ATTEMPT AT LIFE:

"You know, she wouldn't be jealous at all if you were dead."

"I'm sure. And what's that got to do with me, pray tell?"

"Can't stop thinking about yourself for even a moment, can you?"

"What, I should kill myself for the sake of someone else's jealousy?"

"If you already understand that, what the hell are you waiting for?"

YOUR LIFE WILL EXTEND FROM THIS VERY MOMENT UNTIL YOUR VERY LAST MOMENT, WHEN YOU'LL REGRET THAT YOU HADN'T USED THE TIME IN BETWEEN MORE WISELY. ONLY THEN WILL YOU BE FACED WITH TRUE JUSTICE: YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND IT UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SO JUST GO ON BEING THE BEST FOOL THAT YOU CAN BE, BECAUSE, REALLY, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER, AND, AFTER ALL, THERE IS AN ETERNAL LIFE AWAITING YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, SO WHY ALL THE FUSS ABOUT GREED AND ABUSE AND SELFISHNESS? WE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAYS, RIGHT?

YOUR LIFE WILL EXTEND FROM THIS VERY MOMENT UNTIL THE MOMENT OF YOUR DEATH, WHEN YOU'LL REGRET THAT YOU HADN'T SPENT THAT TIME MORE WISELY. BUT THAT'S WHERE REAL JUSTICE COMES IN: YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND IT UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SO JUST ADMIT THAT YOU'RE AN UTTER FOOL AND GET ON WITH BEING THE BEST FOOL YOU CAN BE UNTIL THE GRIM REAPER FINALLY PUTS A END TO THIS RIDICULOURS GAME OF YOURS.

STUDIES IN CROSS-CULTURAL SOCIOLINGUISTIC TENSE-BASED SPEECH ACTS

Declarative: I could eat a horse!

Imperative: Eat me!

Interrogative: What dat shit you eatin'?

Passive: I was overwhemed by the variety of fine wines.

Indonesian declarative posing as interrogative: Aren't you hungry by this time of day? [I'm starving, but I don't want to seem pushy.]

What's the correct word for a country filled with racism and religious hatred and an economic system that leaves the great majority worrying about putting food on the table but does have money to support authoritarian regimes elsewhere, and elects a president who could have got through grade school only by bribery or extortion? (WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE WHAT ITS FUCKING NAME IS? THE POINT IS THAT IT NEEDS TO BE TORN DOWN AND RE-BUILT. WHAT YOU CALL "LIFE" IS SIMPLY A GIFT OF AN UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF TIME BEFORE YOU DIE, AND YOUR RESPONSE IS TO SIT ON YOUR ASS WAITING FOR IT.)

CONUNDRUMANIA

No wealth exists apart from that which has resulted from the combination of human labor and access to the earth's natural resources.

BUT:
Let them eat cake; them that's got is them that gits.

RECONCILIATION:
"Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights," "It's the final countdown," "On your feet or on your knees," "It's now or never," "You'll have to be put with a bowl to beg, Johnny, we hardly knew ye"

OKAY, THEN, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT, FUCK YOU, TOO, NAZIS AND NAZI ASS-KISSERS. YOUR TIME IS GONNA COME AND I HOPE TO HELL I'M HERE TO SEE IT.

THE GREATER THE CONCENTRATION OF POWER OVER THE 'NEWS' THAT REACHES THE PUBLIC, THE GREATER THE OPPORTUNITY FOR THOSE HOLDING THAT POWER TO TRAIN THE PUBLIC TO DO THEIR BIDDING. DEMOCRACY, NOT DEMON-CRACY, WAS WHAT WE WERE COUNTING ON. AND LOOK, IF YOU DARE, AT WHAT WE ARE GETTING MORE AND MORE OF EVERY DAY. ANY INDIVIDUAL THIS DYSFUNCTIONAL WOULD HAVE BEEN COMMITTED INVOLUNTARILY MONTHS AGO. (EVER HEARD THE WORD "DELUSIONAL.")

WA

Ten people trying to call ten other people who are trying to call ten other people, and it's all for free except for the wastage of your time left on this third piece of shit from the sun. But someone is making money from it, so don't worry: you're in with the in crowd, you're on the A list, you're the leader of the pack, but of course you ain't nothin' but a hound dog and no goddamn "app" is going to turn you into Lassie.

$MATH FOR TRAINABLES Boston Tea Party - 1773 Opium wars - 1839-42; 1856-60 "Das Kapital" published - 1867 "Some folks are born silver spoon in hand, Lord, don't they help themselves, yeah, But when the taxman comes to the door, Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale." - 1969 Rise of democracy - (postponed until further notice; hope you guess my name)$

YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY PUSHING THE DEFENSE MECHANISM ENVELOPE WHEN YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT, IF YOU PUT A FASCIST DICTATORSHIP IN POWER WITH YOUR VOTE, SURELY YOU THROW THE BASTARDS OUT JUST AS SIMPLY AS YOU PUT THEM IN. (For instance, I invited a group of thieves into my house, but the first thing they did was gather up all of the sterling silver and then back their car up into my driveway, so I think I'm going to have to ask them to leave. I mean, whose house is it legally anyway, mine or theirs? Huh, the nerve of some people - don't they know that theft is a crime for chrissakes?

YOU ARE PUSHING THE DEFENSE MECHANISM ENVELOPE WHEN YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT THE CURE FOR A FASCIST DICTATORSHIP IS SIMPLY TO THROW THE BASTARDS OUT AT THE BALLOT BOX, AND THE PROOF THAT WE CAN DO THAT IS THAT WE VOTED THEM IN, SO WE CAN VOTE THEM OUT. (In a moment of emotion-driven negligence, I invited a gang of thieves into my home, but the first thing they did was grab all of the sterling silver and then back their car up into my driveway and open the trunk, so I think I'm going to have to ask them to leave. Hmph, the nerve of some people!)

WHEN PEOPLE ARE DOWN TO THEIR LAST DEFENSE MECHANISMS, THEY CAN BELIEVE THE STUPIDEST OF CRAP, e.g., THE REMEDY FOR LIVING IN A FASCIST DICTATORSHIP IS TO THROW THE BASTARDS OUT AT THE BALLOT BOX, AND WE CAN DO THAT BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A DEMOCRACY, AND THE PROOF OF THAT IS THE FACT THAT WE VOTED A FASCIST DICTATORSHIP INTO POWER (c.f., IF I CUT MY BALLS OFF, WHY CAN'T I JUST PUT THEM BACK WHEN I NOTICE THAT MY ERECTIONS AREN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE?).
['Docter, my eyes . . . my brain . . . my backbone . . . Have I been dreaming all lone all through my life?']

Studies in intra-cultural cultural relativity:

The 'fiber optic" internet system is routinely brought to a halt by kids flying kites. The repairmen consider it useless to hope for support from the local government: the parents defend the children on the ground that their activities are not unusual (i.e., right and wrong are determined not by rules based on values but by behavioral frequency itself [kill me now]).

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ALL CHILDREN OF THE SAME MOTHER EARTH, WHICH HAS ENOUGH NATURAL RESOURCES TO SUPPORT OUR 7+ BILLION HUMANS, SO HOW IS THAT A TINY FRACTION END UP "OWNING" ALMOST EVERYTHING WHILE THE SURVIVAL NEEDS OF BILLIONS REMAIN UNMET WHILE WE SWEAT TOGETHER IN THE CIRCLE JERK OF "PROGRESS"? ANSWER: HUBRIS RATIONALIZED THROUGH THE LONG CON NAMED CAPITALISM. FORGIVE US, YOUR HONOR, FOR WE KNOW WHAT NOT WE DO. LIE TO GOD HIMSELF? LOOK, SOMEBODY HAS TO BUY RETAIL, AND BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. (Ancient traffic court defence: guilty but with an excuse.)

I admit it, as skeptical as I might be, I really never imagined I'd see anything as utterly fucking stupid as a country of 300 million people hunched over phones smarter than they themselves are while the entire country is being put out on the corner by the biggest pimp in town.

I love you truly. (I love you only, pls contact our sales rep for price and T & C).

"GA USAH MENTAK-MENTAK"

(How a civil servant addresses a senior academic older than his own father who has arrived unannounced because the wife has attempted to kill herself, but, alas, places human life above discussion as to the details of the necessity of getting the patient to the ER as quickly as possible, the closest ER, not just the cheapest one the civil servant can think [sic] of at a moment when he not driving a wild dog out of the yard or disciplining a trash collector who has trespassed on his rented property [N.B. if the visitor is a Caucasian.]

"I AIN'T GONNA DO YOUR DIRTY WORK, NO MORE, OH YEAH"

(oops, looks like it's the only thing I know how to do)

The social media and smartphone schtick is the devil's biggest wet dream - enables people to reach out on the basis of the flimsiest of reasons, revealing no more truth than they wish - and then with a click of a button, make everybody vanish, leaving behind only the incinerated memories of the people they once told themselves they were. In short, a force multiplier of all of their existing neurotocisms, a layer cake of lies that grows more unstable as the layers pile up. You can't win without playing, and you can't play without losing. The main teaching point is situated at the end of the syllabus, and of course the lesson is never learned.

DISCARDING UNUSED LOVERS: A MANUAL FOR BEGINNERS

1. Procure a suitable replacement
2. Explain that nothing lives forever except the earth and sky
3. Gather endorsements of your essential goodness
4. Begin deprecating the discardee
5. Exercise strict control of all communication
6. Rely on others' readiness to be aware of which side of their bread is buttered.
7. Create in your mind an impermeable barrier between past and present.
8. Enjoy

ETHNOMETHODOLOGY OF RIGHTING WHAT IS WRONG

There will be no sympathy left for the victim if the perpetrator does a good enough job of expressing remorse and feelings of guilt, so turn on those faucets because everyone wants to get to heaven faster by offering a shoulder to cry on. Anyone's shoulder will suffice because good works are good works and there is time for justice for the victim later.

Sometimes comes out of nowhere and catches me by surprise: Where did Bobby Jameson get to? We need to think we'll meet again in order to meet the challenges of the day. In that peculiar sense, we have never been separated in spirit and will never have to be; that's because love lives on in the heart even while the body grows weaker. All of them, all those we respected and cared for. They are safe within us, safe from the storms howling outside.

Obviously, though obviously not obvious to everyone, you cannot responsibly recommend honesty without knowing which lies may have preceded your recommendation.

IF YOU PRACTICE LYING LONG ENOUGH, YOU'LL FORGET HOW TO TELL THE TRUTH IF THE NEED EVER SEEMS TO ARISE, BECAUSE JUST NORTH OF THAT MOUTH OF YOURS IS A BRAIN THAT IS IN FACT TOO SMALL TO MAINTAIN TWO OPPOSING, INCOMPATIBLE HABITS AT THE SAME TIME. (SO JUST LISTEN TO YOUR DIME STORE RATIONALIZATIONS: THEY NEVER GO ON VACATION AND THEY NEVER EVEN GROW WEARY, MERELY GRIND AWAY AT YOUR SOUL, PAINLESSLY, UNTIL OF COURSE EVEN THEY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE AND EXCUSE THEMSELVES OUT THE BACK DOOR JUST WHEN YOU NEED THEM MOST.)

LYING TO YOURSELF WITH STATISTICS: The point is not that most people are average but that half of them are not that stupid while the other half are even more stupid. With odds like that you want I should gamble my well-being on my fellow man? Why all the cute pet photos on FB? Everybody knows this is nowhere, and everybody has to lie. {Fuck me, I met the two guys whose respective careers advanced in part thanks to those two observations of theirs. Me, I'm still the one they call on Saturday to operate the elevator.)

It's all about the numbers. Depending on the associated variables. 6 million in one place, half a million in another, centuries of strange fruit, far easier to ignore compared to what an immigrant told us about ourselves with a relatively tiny datum: 'Four dead in Ohio.' (PTL, if I could get ten cents for every lie I could tell myself, I wouldn't be sleeping in my shoes. [Quite coincidentally, he and I both retained celebrity lawyer Harry Weiss; one of us was a foreigner needing help in getting a local drivers license, the other is still in arrears 50 years later for the $500 retainer. Not easy getting by on a teaching assistant's salary in the sixties; but I'm working on a new constitutional amendment as we speak.])

GO TO ANY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. SEE A TINY ELITE FEEDING OFF THE BLOOD OF THE MAJORITY. SEE EVERYONE ELSE SCRAMBLING LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW JUST TO STAY ALIVE TODAY. ASK YOURSELF WHAT ALL THOSE COUNTRIES HAVE IN COMMON. THEN SLIT YOUR THROAT IF YOU ARE TOO STUPID OR TOO COWARDLY TO TELL YOUR STUPID SELF THE OBVIOUS TRUTH. SLIT YOUR CHILDREN'S WHILE YOU'VE GOT THE RAZOR OUT. YOU DID SIGN THEM UP FOR A CONTRACT JUST LIKE YOURS, DIDN'T YOU? PATHETIC, LIVING A NIGHTMARE AND THINKING IT'S A DREAM WORLD. 12 YEARS OF PAID PUBLIC EDUCATION AND THE RESULT IS A SPECIAL NEEDS DROP-OUT.

MEDICAL TOURISM UPDATES!

Act fast and book your colonosopy in Bali, where intra-operative pain management is at the discretion of the anesthesiologist; if your facial grimaces and screams don't convince the doctor to increase the medication, you are, ahem, shit out of luck if your measurable vital signs are okay. This is that rare area where all people are alike (the other one is mortality). Trust them: they're doctors too unconvincing to just play doctors on TV but each has a Surat Izin Practice. And you can never practice too much when the taxpayers are paying your salary.

ONLY ONE GUARANTEED SAFE WAY TO HANDLE IT: KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM (AND WORRY ABOUT THE GUILT LATER). WE'VE EXECUTED LOTS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, PLEASE DON'T GET SELF-RIGHTEOUS ON ME JUST BECAUSE WHITE PEOPLE ARE INVOLVED. HYPOCRITICAL PRICK.

I have never met God in person but know about Him because we are made in His image: he is a greedy, selfish, materialistic, racist who considers women to be inferior to men and approves of the unequal distribution of necessary goods on this earth to the point that millions die of starvation while other millions die of eating too much of the wrong things, and he forgives all of the sinners in the end if they just accept Him as their God. (Did I overlook anything? Yes: He has clear preferences as to how He is to be worshipped and condemns the others to hell.) In the alternative, he is only a portrayal of the hairless monkeys that we are but minus the characteristics that we display.

In some card games, it can become clear that it's time to fold your hand and get out because you're going to end up poorer if you don't. But in living our lives, my, my, we're willing to spend our last days on earth watching everything go down the drain without a goddamn thing we can do about it. Which are we, heroes or fools? (Shuffle the deck, I'm suddenly feeling lucky.)

Oh, it's fine to spit on opioid and other drug abusers who deal with their conflicts with chemicals . . . but it is WRONG to comment on ("fat shame") people who rely on excessive food consumption to achieve the same goddamn goal. I therefore propose that we distinguish people on the basis of their choice of self-therapy:

JUNKIES (i.v. therapy)

HUNKIES (p.o. therapy)

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CONDO-NATION:
big country, lots of apartments, millions of residents who CONDONE whatever the capitalist warmonger leeches want provided the lie is good enough; and it always is, isn't it?

YOU DON'T REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GET TO KNOW SOMEBODY UNTIL CIRCUMSTANCES SHOW THAT YOU HAD NEVER KNOWN THEM AT ALL. STUPID YOU.

It's so terrible when adults in positions of authority take advantage of helpless children. But it's okay when people of that type take advantage of adults because they're old enough and big enough to take care of themselves, but merely too stupid relative to their capitalist masters to understand that having your undies around your ankles is just the first step in a procdure that begins with you having been reduced to living economic silicone zombie. It's like Christ said: free will but not freedom. Try buying groceries on the basis of being a child of God.

WHO KNEW THAT A TURD COULD ROLL DOWNHILL FASTER THAN A SNOWBALL? BUT EVERYONE LOVES WINNING, EVEN WINNING A RACE LIKE THIS. GOOD ON YER, YANKS, THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING TO SEE WHAT THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL LOOKS AND SMELLS LIKE SO THAT THE OTHER 6.7 BILLION PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET WILL ALL HAVE AT LEAST ONE THING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR.

HOW TO CREATE A STRONG BELIEF: (1) IMAGINE BUILDING FOUR WALLS SURROUNDING YOU, WITH NO DOORS OR WINDOWS; (2) PRETEND THE WALLS ARE CONCRETE. (3) FEEL SAFE BECAUSE NOBODY CAN GET IN AND CONFUSE YOU. (Give yourself a degree in abnormal psychology.)

Oh, gosh, problem after problem and the Lone Ranger has not arrived on Trigger to help you. I do feel so sorry for people whose method of solving problems is to complain about them rather than get off their asses and fix the problems. Thing is, complaining entails so little risk and you can do it all day long and have lots of company at the same time. If only being right about something meant that the world would fix itself without you having to do one goddamn thing. But that problem of yours will disappear automatically when you're dead. In the meantime, sit back and watch other people die, e.g., lack of medical care, malnutrition. Sounds good, eh?

Darn, it's getting worse every day and I don't know what to do about it, because, even if other people break the law, that wouldn't make it right for you and me to rise up and take back what is ours from those who are stealing it right in front of our noses. Well, okay, maybe just this one time, okay? It's probably not even against the law to burn effigies of the White House, then piss on them to avoid endangering the public. Is this a time to rely on "elections" to save our ass? Look how far they've got us right now. We are a global laughingstock because of what we tolerate. If we show the world that we can't even take care of ourselves, the result won't be sympathy and help but rather a train that we will be pulling.

Ain't gonna need this earth no longer, ain't gonna need this earth no more, ain't got time to fix the shingles, ain't got time to fix the floor, ain't got time to oil the hinges, nor to mend no window pane, ain't gonna need this earth no longer, I'm getting ready to meet the saints. But I'll fix this earth's ass real good before I go. It don't deserve it, no, but business is business.

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THE WHOLE WORLD HAS ALWAYS TRIED TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY. THE PROOF IS THAT NO AMERICAN SERVICEMAN KILLED IN COMBAT WAS DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN 'DEFENDING HIS COUNTRY.' LET'S "DROP THE BIG ONE" ON ALL THOSE COUNTRIES WHO HAVE BEEN ATTACKING US AND FORCING US TO DEFEND OURSELVES. AFTER WE FINISH OFF OUR ENEMIES ABROAD, WE CAN MOVE ON TO THE ONES AT HOME. (Up against the wall, we built this city on rock and roll.)

Would you like to live forever? Nowadays, we'd think before choosing. How about living all 24 hours of every day, without interruption? This is the source of our concept of hell, with the concept of heaven constituting a representation of escape from that hell. (Hell is the more salient concept because we have no empirical reference points for escape from the hell of everyday life because, well, because we're asleep; but waking life is full of reference points for suffering.)

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The story is that man is created in God's image; whereas it's the reverse that is the more likely interpretation. Same is true of heaven and hell: the quantum of our discrete everyday experiences are extrapolated to the level of broad concepts. I know that hell came first because spending every hour of your life in this world and awake all the time would be hell. Ergo, heaven is the extrapolation of sleep: escape from hell.

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WHY AREN'T THERE RICH MONKEYS AND POOR MONKEYS? BECAUSE MONKEYS AREN'T HIP TO BANANA WAREHOUSES, SO WHAT WOULD BE THE PURPOSE IN TRYING TO ACCUMULATE MORE BANANAS THAN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CAN EAT BEFORE THE REST OF THEM TURN BROWN? SAME DAMN DRILL EVERY DAY: WAKE UP, COFFEE, CHECK FACEBOOK, THEN GO FIND YOURSELF SOME FUCKING BANANAS BECAUSE AIN'T NOBODY ELSE GONNA DO IT FOR YOU, CHUMP.

If being a combination prick and asshole confers a right to grab a pussy, being an American confers a right - nay, a duty - to unplug a fetid toilet using whatever means are necessary. You were not created for the purpose of helping selfish people achieve their aims. Once you grasp the implications of that difference, the remainder will surely become obvious.

NO, NO, IT'S NOT A SEXIST, RACIST NATION MANIPULATED BY AN ECONOMIC ELITE. IN FACT, IT'S A CHRISTIAN NATION, AS ANYONE CAN PLAINLY SEE. CHRIST HIMSELF WOULD BE OUT THERE HELPING THE REPUBLICANS REDUCE HEALTH CARE BENEFITS FOR OTHER PEOPLE. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE IN GROUP -- ALL 98% OF YOU. WHATEVER ANYONE'S CIRCUMSTANCES, HE DESERVES THEM. (WHAT ARE YOU, A COMMIE?)

'The Presider's' worrying symptoms lead the public directly to the field of psychiatry, whereas the observed behavior is better explained by dementia: amnestic problems, semantic problems, agitation, inappropriate sexual behavior, blaming of others, repetitive behavior. This is beyond prodromal and beyond mild as well; this is the real thing, in progress, heading for moderate. Only MRI scans would permit true differential diagnosis. But that's outside the borders of psychiatry; this is neurology, and the variables are those of the variety of dementia, and the speed of deterioration. They all end with caregivers. The shrinks are in the news only because the nomenclature of neurology is boring.

I USED TO CRITICIZE MYSELF FOR HATING PEOPLE. NOW, I REALIZE I WAS MERELY AHEAD OF MY TIME. WHO CAN RESPECT A COUNTRY INFESTED WITH MAGGOTS AT THE TOP THAT DECLINES TO GET OUT THE 'BLACK FLAG' AND GET TO FUCKING WORK? RIGHT, NOBODY, AND THAT'S WHY THE PRICES OF IMPORTED GOODS WILL RISE, BECAUSE AN I.O.U. BACKED BY ANOTHER I.O.U. IS STILL AN UNCOLLECTABLE DEBT, AND ENDEMIC MORAL ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IS CURED ONLY BY WHAT 100 MILLION ARE LACKING: TESTICLES AND FOREBRAIN. GO PISS ON THE GRAVES OF THOSE WHO DIED TRYING TO PROTECT WHAT YOU ARE THROWING IN THE GARBAGE IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT.

Poor Gerald Ford, not smart enough to chew gum and walk at the same time. Gosh, if he could just see the average person now: able to read a book and walk down the street at the same time -- provided that the sentences are abbreviated and it's guaranteed that you'll learn nothing, and that the book is a palm-sized Taiwan-made electronic gadget bearing a recognized trademark. (They'll need those on the trip to Mars.)

I HEREBY ANNOUNCE THAT I AM MAKING A CITIZEN'S ARREST OF THE ENTIRE GODLESS COUNTRY ON THE CHARGE OF LIVING OFF THE PROCEEDS OF STOLEN PROPERTY. ALL CLAIMS OF OWNERSHIP OF REAL ESTATE ARE DECLARED NULL AND VOID. DREAMERS AND THEIR DESCENDANTS, DON'T LET THE SUN SET ON YOU HERE, TWO-FACED PALEFACE.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

(you already gave up on that kind of magical thinking, eh? good for you. how about simply doing what you were raised to believe is right? not "groovy" enough to post on FB? well, okay, add a photo of a pet animal of a species we do not regularly raise to be killed and eaten. that will likely satisfy your inner needs.)

You never know completely the role you have played in other people's dramas until the curtain begins to rise on the last act and you can do no more than to promise yourself that henceforth you will take on roles only in scenarios in whose writing you yourself had had a hand. That would include suicide but possibly other stories as well. [Apologies to if you don't want my pears, don't shake my tree.]

Okay, here's the deal: we have an agreement, with numerous clauses. One of them says I will represent the welfare of the citizens, but another clause says that no citizen can kill me. The clauses in this contract are severable, so that if I violate the first clause, you are still bound by the second clause. (Ask your doctor which you need most, Ritalin or Viagara?)

Yeah, all my friends say I should tell that asshole to pack his bags and get the hell out, but the house is in his name, so what can I do? And he's gone and had all the shelters for abused citizens closed down, too. Sure, I know what you're thinking: put turds in all the cups of all the holes on all the greens; but then he'd only tweet more. Yeah, yeah, I could just shoot him down in the street like a dog but the street cleaners' budget has been halved. Maybe I'll just have someone give him a bloody nose. That's sill legal, right?

Typical pickpocket tactic, working in pairs, one grabs your attention while the other one lightens your load. Heaven on earth for the devil, hell for the believers. Vote this one this time, vote the other one next time. Either way, it's the pickpockets' game (euphemized as social stratification; maiden name: feudalism bin caste system).

WARNING!!

IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO SIT THERE WHILE I GIVE YOU A PROLAPSED RECTUM WHILE GOING THROUGH YOUR POCKETS, I WILL. AND SO WILL A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE -- THOSE WHO GIVE IT TO YOU WHILE TAKING IT AWAY FROM YOU; AND ALSO THOSE WHO TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT THAT WE HAVE TO STOP FOR COFFEE BREAKS NOW AND THEN. (DO YOU KNOW YOUR OWN NAME EVEN WHEN YOU SEE IT IN PRINT? OR DID YOUR PAIN RECEPTORS DIE WHEN YOUR BRAIN CELLS DID?)

QUIZ FOR ASPIRING GENIUSES:

Which of the following can transform an empty-headed, arrogant idiot into somebody who deserves to be listened to because of acquisition of a socially recognized status?

1. becoming a parent
2.becoming a doctor/lawyer
3.entering a higher tax bracket
4.adopting/abandoning a religion
5. being an employee of an organization funded by taxpayers
6. being older/taller than you
7. being a member of the student council
8. being a member of a group that has uniforms

THE REVERSE STEREOTYPE

Everybody's familiar with the regular kind, e.g., "Shit, today I ran into a really sickening X, jesus, they're all such sewer rats."

The reverse stereotype may originate in good intentions, but is no less stupid, e.g., "Hey, I know this outta sight X, doesn't automatically regard me with scorn on account of my [origin, race, religion, income level, etc.], boy those X's are some pretty great folks.

(Multiple ways to lie, one way to tell the truth. Remember, it's never Krasnick's fault.)

THE REVERSE STEREOTYPE

Everyone's familiar with the regular kind, e.g., "Arrgh, I ran into a really sickening X today, jeez, they're all such sewer rats.

The "reverse stereotype" can be rooted in good intentions but is no less stupid, e.g., "Wow, I know a really great X, doesn't automatically regard me with contempt on account of my [origin, race, religion, income level, etc.], gosh, they're a great bunch of folks."

(Many ways to avoid the truth, one way to tell it.)

THE REVERSE STEROTYPE. Everyone knows the old one, e.g., "I ran into one of those damn X's today, boy, they're such assholes." The "Reverse Sterotype," albeit sometimes rooted in good intentions, is no less stupid, e.g., Oh, I know an X who in no way automatically holds me in low regard because of my [race, religion, income level, etc.], boy, they're such great folks."

Do you know what I really think of you? Of course you don't; you couldn't. And vice-versa. Even in "real life," we are only acting as if we know each other, as we see illustrated when we compare what time our individual watches say it is. Close enough for the purpose at hand, but genuinely true only by coincidence. What does this look like writ large, on the level of a society itself? The government we always seem to end up having, built on bribery, collusion, and misrepresentation. Ipso facto, we are condemned to go to our graves never having genuinely known each other, never having been known. But since it's too painful to admit to even this most obvious of truths, we live out our lives in darkness, groping and pretending.

the quantum of energy you invest in trying to get others to adopt your beliefs is a direct measure of your level of cognitive insecurity. the strength of your beliefs is the reciprocal thereof.

IT COULD NOT BE MORE SIMPLE: EITHER THE POPULACE DOES WHAT, AND WHATEVER, IS NECESSARY TO BEGIN TO UNDO THE WRECKAGE ALREADY CREATED; OR EVERY DAY WILL BRING MORE OF THE SAME, INCLUDING IN FORMS NOT CURRENTLY CAPABLE OF BEING IMAGINED. THAT'S NOT PARTISANSHIP: IT'S JUST THIRD-GRADE LOGIC. (YOU'LL HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN TIL DADDY TAKES THE T-BIRD KEYS AWAY.)

NO MORE TEARS FROM ME. YOU ELECTED RACIST FASCISTS AND NOW YOU REGRET IT, BUT YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX YOUR OWN MISTAKE. I RECOMMEND: TRY TO FIND OUT HOW THEY HANDLED IT IN OTHER THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES. (OR DID YOU THINK YOU WERE SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU HAD A FLAG? HITLER HAD A FLAG, AND YOU HAVE A HITLER. MAYBE THE PROBLEM HAS ITS ROOTS IN THE TEXTILE INDUSTRY. GIVE IT A TRY, START BURNING THINGS DOWN, SEE IF THAT DOESN'T PRODUCE SOME KIND OF RESPONSE - OR IF YOU PREFER MORE OF THE SAME: JUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON. ["Shit or get off the pot."])

If murder were made legal for a week or so, are there any particular individuals who you would kill without giving it a second thought? Well, sorry, it's still illegal but at least now you are a bit more clear about what you think and feel. Too bad that doesn't mean shit with regard to the reality of the reasons you'd be more than ready to kill who you'd kill if it were not illegal. But it is illegal. You just can't think of anything feasible in between actually murdering those people (which you'd do if you could), and simply wishing that you could. (When you wish upon a star, you're back in childhood again, and it makes no difference who you are.) It's like the guy said: if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among thse are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness . . . that whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Government . . . . (SOMETHING YOUR TEACHERS NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT? OR SOMETHING YOU NEVER DID FUCKING UNDERSTAND IN THE FIRST PLACE? OR ARE YOU SIMPLY A VICTIM OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION OF THE MIND? DUMBBELLS, WILLING TO PLAY A GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS WHERE ONLY A TINY MINORITY GET A CHAIR AND THE REST GET SHIT.)

the country is under attack but it's okay because they're just like you and me. don't be a primitive savage like those indigenes we had to put in their proper place. pay due respect to your betters (if you don't have some very strong reason to consider them your betters, you don't know your place yet. how does indefinite detention at Camp FEMA sound? see, i knowed you recognized your betters when you seen them; shit, a pair of worms making babies after a rain can stand up more than the american populace can). everyone wants to be a winner; so they need losers. that's where you come in, handing over the same land you stole from the previous occupants and complaining about illegal immigrants at the same time.

MUCH TALK ABOUT PENCE. BUT THE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE ON THE BALL. CHECK THE ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS HIDDEN IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS: "... and also the horse or ass he rode in on, including the fancypants losers in the bunkhouse who couldn't tell one end of the horse from the other."

Oh, goodness gracious, a bunch of rich assholes are trying to make everybody else's life worse for the direct benefit of the assholes themselves. Too bad nobody can figure out whether this can be stopped or not, i.e., by any means necessary. Naw, just relax and enjoy it. You've been fucked before so you ought to be used to it by now. I am not referring to sexual assault when I say "fucked." It means only that if the Nobel Prize Committee worked in reverse, we'd be the champions of the world.) You can't expect empathy from others when you're too lazy and fucking stupid to help your own pathetic self by getting your fat ass off the couch and into the street. "Your ma cain't he'p you now," the guy said.

* EXPLOSION IN BALI * - In a consultation for flank pain, I cited an entry in my file at another hospital: "terkesan doker shopping," which the ER staff used as justification to decline to treat the unmistakable pain of "renal colic." I referred to that publication as libel. The brilliant urologist indicated that I must be overstating the case (BECAUSE HE WENT TO MED SCHOOL BUT I ONLY WENT TO LAW SCHOOL).

I swear to the god of Israel, I'll track down these cocksuckers' alma maters and ask the deans whether being an incurable asshole is a part of the curriculum or just one of the qualifications for admission.

Only 1 in 50 million will get this right: If the house is burning down and all the firemen are at a pyromania seminar in Maui and North Korea has just launched a dozen missiles at Hawaii, what should you do? (a) Hope those missiles all have a flat tire on the way. (b) Take matters into your own fucking hands, find a spigot, collect a few buckets, fill the goddamn buckets, and put out the damn fire yourself because there ain't no fireman who's going to rebuild your house because the president had authorized their attendance at that seminar. (TAKE YOUR TIME; I CAN SEE THAT YOU NEED A WHOLE LOT OF IT.)

OKAY, THERE'S A PRINCIPLE CALLED EVERY DOG GETS ONE FREE BITE, MEANING THAT THE OWNER HADN'T NECESSARILY KNOWN BEFOREHAND WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL HE WAS KEEPING AS A PET; BUT HE GETS SUED IF THE DOG BITES ANOTHER PERSON AFTER THAT. BUT CAN A NATION SUE ITSELF FOR KEEPING A PATHETIC EXAMPLE OF THE SPECIES IN THE WHITE HOUSE? NO, IT HAS TO HOPE THAT THE DOG CATCHER WILL SAVE THEM. BUT POOR DOG CATCHERS CAN'T GET THEIR HANDS ON RICH DOGS, WHICH IS CALLED CAPITALISM (INVENTED BY THE DOGS THEMSELVES). GET YOUR POOPER SCOOPER READY: TOMORROW IS ALREADY ON ITS WAY.

IT WAS A SMART MOVE TO GET THIS CHILD ABUSE THING ON THE FRONT BURNER TO COVER UP THE STINK OF THE FINANCIAL ABUSE OF THE MAJORITY BUBBLING OVER ON THE BACK BURNER. HOW DID YOU FEEL IN THE PAST IF SOMEONE CALLED YOU A LOSER? GOT ANGRY, HUH? BUT CAN'T SAY ONE DAMN THING WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD CALLS THE U.S. THE NEWEST, BIGGEST LOSER IN TOWN. (SHOW YOUR SPUNK: REFUSE TO KNEEL)

Public Notice: Dr. Harry ("Eat Me") Krasnick, J.D., Ed.D., disavows anything he may have posted prior to having finished the first cup of morning coffee. Ceteris paribus for anything else, too. (Go ahead, Mr. Presider, designate me as a non-state sponsor of terrorism--I'm nationwide, fool!) Chew on that for a while, Spot, while I escort Dick and Jane up that the hill for a pizza.

SOME WILL ROB YOU WITH A SIX-GUN AND SOME WITH A FOUNTAIN PEN. BUT YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET BACK WHAT THEY STOLE WITH A GODDAMN FOUNTAIN PEN. GET THE POINT?

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The problem is guns. No, wait, the problem is prescription drugs. Or sometimes it's a car or a truck. Thank goodness it's never kitchen knives because they're available everywhere. The dangers of the means and the methods with which my fellow monkeys are killing themselves and killing other monkeys have got me so perplexed that I don't even have time to ask why: why mental torment is so pervasive, why so much power has been accumulated in secret, why what you and I think about every day is so similar, why we feel so powerless as to the direction things are heading, and whether there is any limit beyond which we cannot be pushed. Man up, until you're the last man standing.

SADLY, THE FACT THAT A PEOPLE DON'T REVOLT WITHOUT A GOOD REASON DOES NOT MEAN THAT HAVING A GOOD REASON IS A GUARANTEE OF REVOLUTION. (THEY MIGHT COME FOR ME BEFORE THEY COME FOR YOU, SO BETTER TO PLAY IT SAFE (c.f., PLAY DEAD).

The "golden rule" is an attack on everything we are ready to die for: sexism, racism, and capitalism; and simultaneously the rationale for its opposite: an eye for an eye. In the end, we have a homily ready for every thing we want to do -- like a courtroom where any defense but one will be accepted: yeah, i'm like that because i'm an asshole, but of course no asshole is so dumb as to plead that he is an asshole, so the plain fact is that we live by no moral guidelines. (Don't give me that surprised expression, asshole.)

One of nature's most perplexing incongruities: if you don't like the way some other country is being fucked up by a group of assholes, you just disappear a few, leave a few bodies on the road side, and napalm the rest -- but because you was done brought up to respect authority, you're gonna grit your teeth and take it like a man when it's your own damn country being fucked up six ways from Sunday (i.e., a man who is a member of a rectal prolapse self-help group who still don't understand how it happened in the land of the free). [They had left it to somebody other than them to be the ones to care.]

Dear Mom, hard to find time to write these days, the sociopolitical toilets are overflowing almost as fast as Sony and Samsung can release new models with exciting features that make you really need to be one of the first to get one. We're all afraid of the day when the Asian manufacturers decide to see what the Westerners are going to do without more OS upgrades and lenses that make you look like the superstar you think you should have been. We're now just one rung below the stage where the piper has to be paid and, you know as well as I do, we have too many children and not enough adults. We've been pretending not to know. Mom, you didn't tell us what we were signing up for. Even now, you can't admit the truth.

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Every time you snort another line or gulp another shot, every time you do nothing but shout "Thief!" instead of chasing him to get your underwear back, you add one more to the prosecution's case against you: If you weren't in fact what you so vigorously deny you are, it wouldn't be so clear that you are at least that and probably more. You already have Hitler in the Schweiszhaus and still your primary concern is to worry about whether he has already ordered the uniforms and how your children will look in them. Be assured: they will look just like you already look right now.

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YOU DON'T LIKE THIS INEQUALITY SHIT BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE THE WORLD BELONGS TO THE RICH BECAUSE YOU GAVE IT TO THEM AND YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK WITHOUT BEING CALLED AN INDIAN GIVER. IN FACT, YOU CAN'T EVEN ASSERT THE SOVEREIGNTY YOU USED TO CLAIM YOU HAD. EVERYBODY CAN SEE WHO YOU ARE EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOBODY. DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FACTS OF LIFE EVEN WHEN THEY'RE SPELLED OUT FOR YOU IN BLACK AND WHITE. DEAD SOCIAL CLASS WALKING, SING THEM BACK HOME.

People do NOT change. They merely reach a point where their previous defense mechanisms fail them and then you see them as they had been all along. Ex.: 40-year-long friend sees that, OMG, you have opinions of your own, too. Ex.: 40-year-long friend realizes that decades of hoping for sexual cathexis on your part is hopeless; you had merely listened to his personal bisexuality accounts out of respect. Suddenly, it seems, they change! No, you are merely seeing them as who they have always been despite both of you having been taken for a very long ride by their neuroses. Genuine love is not part of someone's complex soap opera in which you had been given a role whose performance was the operative fulcrum.

IMAGINE A WORLD WITH NO SECRETS AND NO PILING UP OF THE EARTH'S RESOURCES FOR YOURSELF. DO YOU LIKE THAT IDEA OR HATE IT? EITHER WAY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE AND I KNOW IT. DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

The psychoanalytic idiomatic opposites of Todestrieb and Lustprinzip are explicitly intrapsychic. Daily life is primarily interpersonal, and consists more and more of increasing suicide, depression, financial disparity, growth of fascism, risk of nuclear destruction, oppression of the weak. We need a suitable German name for the intrapsychic reality that is the necessary partner of the empirical data suffocating us. It happens to correspond to the intrapsychic life of the proletariat, which has famously been likened to the chains of the slaves: Selbsttzufriedenheit des Scheuklappen tragen -- but without the sensation of the metal on the skin.

You're my hero and here's why: you read "Brave New World" and then you read "1984" and then you saw "The Matrix" -- and still you soldier on! Even Adolph Hitler in the White Supremacist House doesn't faze you. Lordy, you can be seconds away from nuclear destruction and go about your business as if you weren't. I'd give everything to be like you (that would be the correct price but I'd consider it a bargain at any price).

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FREE WILL EXPOSED: The "free will" basis for attributing guilt is a fiction. What the data show is either exposure or opportunity. Why do shrinks have the highest suicide rate? Why do anesthesiologists have the highest drug misuse rates? Why are bankers' hands so dirty? Why are politicians on the take? Why do vaginas and breasts cry out to be grabbed? "Free will" is the assertion that the statistics are coincidences. It's the claim that monkeys don't have to be monkeys. It's all up to the individual monkey.

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Too many damn things going on at the same time. First things first, make it simpler. My suggestion: a website where people can just go and click, "No, not Hillary ever again for anything, not her husband, not her daughter. The answer to any question regarding any of them aside from IRS investigations overseas is simply NO, NO, and NO."

(After that, a series of individual pages for the thousands of others, each one entitled "Hey, shit-for-brains, if you can manage to die tomorrow, I promise to have a cappuccino in celebration.") [Don't you tell me I have to sit here forever with the sound turned off and watch these scumbags turn the US into the LAPD]

URGENT:

social science researcher requests assistance in locating that rule that specifies the amount of pure shit the populace has to accept before it erupts in outright revolution. it must be out there somewhere because so many people are following it. (possible that it's no more than a delusion peculiar to people hoping one day to get the key to the executive's washroom? that would explain their acceptance of the fantasy that the stench is a normal part of life, i.e., working your way up the ladder by scrubbing toilet bowls.) [refer to ENT]

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The thing is, every time they say you ain't nobody and you respond with silence, you further confirm the accusation. Being 'nice' is what you parents taught you to be when you were a child. But they didn't teach you what to do when the boot of fascism was cutting off your air supply. Maybe they assumed that you'd be able to figure that one out all by yourself. Maybe, like all parents, they imagined that they were raising a genius. But look at the data: the parents' spawn truly ain't nobody, and that is further confirmed every day that their actions are limited to making choking sounds. This is called ACQUIESCENCE, so you just threw away your rights. Geniuses.

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Typically, news that a person who was actually innocent had been executed is a shock, because a human life was taken wrongfully. However, now the odds are on our side: we could serve just about every one of them their last meal without worrying about too many getting a free pizza by mistake. At worst, the risk is that of some getting one free pizza when the facts would have dictated a dozen. Still, a mistake is a mistake is a mistake, albeit a pizza is not always just a pizza.

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To me, heaven is where the traffic cops take note of each of my violations but never issue any tickets. Wouldn't it be nice if our entire country were run like that? (Okay, it is, but not for you or me; we just get the tickets. Like that? Good, vote for it again.)

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IF POLITICS WERE SEX, YOU WOULD HAVE NO DIFFICULTY IN RECOGNIZING A CLUSTER FUCK WHEN YOU SAW ONE. UNLESS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT SEX THAN YOU KNOW ABOUT HUMAN RIGHTS AND DEMOCRACY. EITHER WAY, ANYONE WHO DOES NOTHING MORE THAN GROAN IN BETWEEN RAPISTS IS LITTLE MORE THAN THE TARGET ITSELF, BE THAT MONEY OR HONEY, HONEY.

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Hmph, turns out I had conceptualized the issue backwards. My analysis is that the actual question is this: "Is there in fact any point at which the citizens will stand up and assert their own sovereignty over this stolen land?" The data suggest strongly that, no, there is no limit to what the people will put up with provided it is not specifically condemned in the New Testament. Nuclear war, for instance -- where is it written that a nest of egomaniacs with the power to do so shall not cause the extinction of humanity? Ipso facto, it's kosher so stop with the kvetching already.

If i told my shrink that i intended to kill myself, he'd be obliged to have me put in the locked ward. So i'm going to tell him that Trump is going to kill me and fifty million others and request that the shrink order involuntary hospitalization. Oh, shit, wait, i forgot that rules are there to be followed and money comes before life. Don't let it be said that i put my own existence above the sanctity of the rules. What if everybody thought like that?! (We'd be alive but guilty of having broken the rules. I couldn't stand that; i'd kill myself first. In fact, just like you, that's my plan: let the blood be on someone else's hands. God forbid i exhibit the instinct for self-preservation that the cockroach has. I'm better than that.)

The ostensible reason for war is always the protection and expansion of ownership of natural resources, including the readiness of the collateral damage folks who do the actual work of extracting stuff from our [sic] planet to accept that things change, but maybe one day it'll be you and me signing the checks. If there were nothing to be won, well, shit, who'd bother with a war? Therefore the condition precedent for war is the prospect of altering the current distribution of power. That's why the most dangerous enemy of peace is communism.

I, the undersigned, hereby undertake never again to reach for fruit hanging as low as this, but every dog must have his day: Russians and DNC or not, YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE SIGNING UP FOR. (AND YOU CAN UN-DO IT, RELYING ON YOUR INHERENT RIGHTS AS HUMAN BEINGS, WHICH PUTS YOU MILES AHEAD OF THE DEAD.)

It's almost impossible to take notice of people dying of starvation a thousand miles away, or even wives next door being beaten, so how could anyone care about the health of someone he doesn't know simply because they live in the same country? Hey, if my belly is full, can I possibly imagine the hunger pangs you are having? Of course not. That's what makes me human: the ability to have a mind and keep it empty of anything unrelated to my bank account and my dick.

What lie can compare with the lie that we are not the liars we know ourselves to be? It serves its own fundamental purpose perfectly while providing the populace with the endless game of discovering new evidence that we are liars, which in such a context is counted as doing good in the face of evil, calling out the liars in the name of truth and justice, i.e., embroidering the lie by treating each instance as deviation from the norm, though, to our embarrassment, our own lexicon speaks more honestly: the deviant is the whistle-blower, for whom we had to create a new word, still lying to ourselves about whether we are liars living in active denial of the truth, which we need to do in order to live.

i had innocently assumed that it was the american way that if the farmer found some scoundrel scooping up all the eggs in the henhouse and heading for the door, it was as an article of faith that you had every right to give him both barrels right then and there. but, no, no, if the guy is already rich from stealing eggs, you can't even smash his fucking head in with a shovel. this has now been institutionalized in the form of government and taxation and nobody has shotguns anymore. (had you been as naive as i had been? huh, poor you and me, stuck up in the loft watching the bunch of them steal every thing in sight, starting with our lives.)

"Oh, sure, I could have killed Hitler, yeah, I had the chance. But murder is wrong, so I didn't. Am I a good guy or what, eh? But I'm nothing special at all compared to several hundred million patriots who apply the same combination of law and logic and morality. Know any of them? Is one of them perhaps standing in your shoes right now? If you were standing in those of six million people you never knew, you'd know what a drag it is to see you." (Self-righteousness: placing your own holiness above others' lives, hoping God will notice your good intentions and overlook the rest.)

In the UK, the suggestion has been made to require a doctor's referral prior to treatment at an ER. Same thing as the Republicans' war on health insurance. Oh, the details trigger such deep concern! Tell me, when someone is aiming a loaded gun at you and expressing an intention to put you in the ground before your time has come, should you be trying to persuade your neighbor that that would be wrong? Or looking for the closest sharp object to plunge into the motherfucker's ear? If you really think your life is worth something, try fucking acting like it. Might work miracles while you're waiting for God to do the job for you.

When the details are sufficiently numerous, people get all flummoxed about what the real issue might be. In the UK, the suggestion is to require a referral before receiving treatment at an ER. Same thing as Chump and his war on health insurance. Look, when someone is pointing a loaded gun at you and indicating an intention to put you in the ground before your time has come, should you be trying to persuade your neighbor that that would be wrong, or shoving the closest sharp object up the motherfucker's nose and then twisting it around a bit? Take you time, think it over, maybe Mighty Mouse is on his way to save you. Or maybe it's you that's gonna get caught in the mouse trap. (Or are.)

if the mainstream media says nothing about it, then it didn't happen. but if it is later alleged that it did happen, it didn't. decades passed before mr. pervo of the week found his ass on the front page; but on the other hand, the podesta boys disappeared overnight following a special kind of letter from a law firm. (this is your mind on drugs, supplied by the people you pay to keep you too dumb to do much more than what they tell you you should be doing. but you're not stupid, no, you're an american; and proud of it, too -- always save the best part for the end, though you know that even the best pizza in the world won't awaken the dead. and, oh, yes, that is surely you: dead and grateful at the same time.)

Some of my best friends are Jews, Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, atheists, queers, straights, bi-sexual, black, white, yellow, brown, rich, poor, older than me, younger than me, smarter than me, dumber than me, healthier than me, sicker than me, uglier than me(?), more attractive than me -- but, Allah be praised, there isn't a single asshole among them. Imagine that! A life well lived, eh wot? How many billion schmucks I've avoided!!

IF YOU MAINTAIN THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WHATSOEVER THAT THE FINANCIAL-CORPORATIST ELITES CAN DO FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR OWN INTERESTS AND AT THE EXPENSE OF YOURS WITHOUT YOUR AWARENESS, YET HAVE ABSTAINED FROM DOING SO, I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO MARRY YOU AND JUST NEED THE MONEY FOR A TICKET TO COME THERE AND SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR FEET OR UNDER THE RUG, DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES. IF YOU ARE A PATRIOT, YOU WILL NOT DOUBT MY BONA FIDES.

IT WOULD BE NO LESS THAN ORDINARY GOOD BUSINESS TO BUY TONS OF PUT OPTIONS ON SOME NYSE-LISTED COMPANY IF, AHEM, SOMEBODY "IN THE KNOW" TOLD ME THAT SOME DISASTER WAS GOING TO CAUSE THE SHARE VALUE TO PLUMMET IN THE NEAR FUTURE. THAT'S WHAT THE OPTIONS MARKET IS FOR. WHO MADE THOSE MILLIONS ON 9/11? DO YOU GIVE A FUCK? DID ANYBODY BUY TONS OF PUT OPTIONS AHEAD OF THE LAS VEGAS MULTI-SHOOTER ATTACK? OH, WE'LL NEVER KNOW, NO, WE'LL NEVER KNOW, BECAUSE GOD MADE US TOO STUPID TO KNOW. (sorry, i couldn't hear your denial just now.)

simple example of why the 'islamofascists' will win thanks to superior intelligence: they know they can claim the protection of the same legal system that protects americans, but also know that americans are too stupid to overthrow that same system when they themselves are the victims. do you even have to be an einstein to recognize stupidity of that degree? simple natural selection at work, wherein ipso facto the dumb ones destined not to survive don't get it at all. (do you think that once you have ordered yourself to stay in your room, you no longer have the authority to let yourself out upon which you relied in issuing the original order? bye-bye.)

coincidentally, the height of stupidity corresponds with the height of self-righteousness. scientists call that conjuncture the triumph of naive childish hope and belief over what we could accomplish using our rationality if only we realized we were living in a dream over which we have no control whatsoever. the good part, relatively speaking, is that when the dream comes to an end, so does life itself, so we never do have to confront the way we have deceived ourselves for the sake of momentary comfort. there is, then, 'meaning' in life - the lie that there is meaning in life.

WHY BOTHER WITH THE FARCE OF DEMOCRACY AND ELECTIONS AT ALL WHEN IN FACT ALL THAT YOU WANT IS A DICTATOR THAT ACTS OUT YOUR INNER CHILD, UNTIL YOU GET TIRED OF HIM AND WANT TO REPLACE HIM WITH ANOTHER DICTATOR, WITH THE HOPE THAT YOUR INNER CHILD HAS BECOME LESS STUPID IN THE INTERIM, AND THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL BE THE VICTIM NEXT TIME? (Hotels are rated with positive numbers; but stupidity is rated with negative numbers, which are infinite. here's hoping your fascism/capitalism-driven nutritional habits kill you before you realize that your life has been flushed down the toilet for the sake of the shareholders' yachts.)

Never have so goddamn many acted so goddamn stupid at the same goddamn time, even stopping to document their idiocy with foreign-made electronic devices sold by companies that shelter their profits in government-approved offshore tax shelters. Imagine, reproducing all day and all night long as well, voting for the very system that has turned them into the mindless tools of the capitalist that Marx said would happen -- while praising their oppressors and castigating the only people with brains who had offered to help them. Close enough for a cigar, or at least for a sample from the horse whose shoe you done your darn best to throw. Pity you'll die before you figure it out. Okay: justice.

HOW MANY QUASI-MILITARY ORGANIZATIONS ARE OPERATING WITHIN OUR BORDERS WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF OUR GOVERNMENT BUT WITHOUT ANY RECOGNITION OF ANY RIGHT OF THE CITIZENS THEMSELVES TO KNOW? [any number > 1 = we are the functional equivalent of a psychotic, unable to distinguish reality from unreality, hearing voices speaking to us, drowning in delusions, unable to relate normally, sleep and emotional disturbances]

I just don't get it. If one mentally ill moron can launch a nuclear attack, why can't some other one buy a silencer for his gun? "And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made,
And the sign flashed out its warning, In the words that it was forming, And the sign said “The words of the prophets Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls, And whispered in the sounds of silence” (You are all Puerto Rico but don't know it yet.)

Every day I think of Karl Marx, who spent his life hoping that human beings might have greater intelligence than cockroaches. But do you see bugs running around complaining about their circumstances and waiting for someone else to fix their own damn problems? (Tsk-tsk, to think that we regard them as lower than we are simply because we're larger. Tell me, what is 'zero' multiplied by 250 million? Congratulations, cockroaches can't even do elementary math, but first-graders can. You're pretty great but of course you have a helluva time even catching one cockroach. But still, come one, they can't handle mathematics like you and I can.)

Sorry to remember the passing of Karl Marx - a life lived in vain, as proven by the persistence of the idiocy that he thought that mere thinking could cure. With every passing day, we confirm that he had a brain but we don't know shit from shinola, but we do know how to complain with no effect whatsoever. That should count for something, shouldn't it? I mean, cockroaches don't even know how to complain. Hey, we're number one (the white ones among us, anyway). (Oh, I'm WRONG??)

Sorry, but, No. Your time is up. You've left it for someone other than you to be the one to care. Your walls are burning and your towers are turning but the world is going to leave you here because you have fucking earned it in spades.

Gosh, all of us living in a world as messed up as this one. 7 billion people and nobody can figure out how to fix the problem. Oh, wait, I think at least I know the source of the problem: (7,000,000,000) x (0) = 0. Darn. Well, at least we've got the numbers on our side.

"Socialism delivers failure, anguish." (No, genius, you're thinking of online pizza sellers. Neither ideologies nor political parties deliver, but, yes, both can be headed by hopeless idiots; on the other hand, no, sometimes it is actually better to throw out the baby along with the bath water. In fact, in some cases, the next generation should also be thrown out as well, especially when they marry others who as babies should also have been thrown out with the bath watter. No, that is not the despised "eugenics." It's only ordinary animal husbandry.)

Never judge another person by their actions: you might misinterpret something.

Judge them instead by what they say. Same thing with private corporations, too. And, oh, yeah, economic systems.

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The longer you give them more and more rope, the higher the branch from which they'll hang you. I had imagined that things like that would have been obvious to most people; but then I'm not like most people. On the other hand, most people are actually like most people. Just ask your statistics instructor.

Dance as if nobody is looking. Provided you are also ready to invite the hordes who show up immediately thereafter with a ton of advice for you to please just go fuck themselves. That's the critical ingredient in dancing as if nobody is looking.

What's the name for that moment of chagrin when you find that you hadn't realized that half the people looking at your FB comments don't actually grasp the fulll meaning of your words and as a consequence reflexively publicly label you as a mental case or, if they are female, as a misogynist, or an unthinking ideologue whose primary concern is to appear to those whose approval they seek to be on the same side of a fence erected by third parties--and have declared that you are on the wrong side of the fence but need not explain why that is so obviously true (to them)? I plan to apply to have my middle name legally changed to the name of that moment.

i'm so relieved that 100 Trump supporters were so greatly outnumbered in Boston; guess that means it was just a coincidence that we're sliding real fast toward nazi Germany with a dickhead neo-Hitler at the front of the parade and hate crimes are rising faster than any racist could hope for. It can't be real because we are certain it would be wrong. This is not a racist country, no, it's not. At most, it acts like one. Crisis actors, fascist actors, all one big NWO Soros-Mossad false flag. Actually, everything is fine. The WTC is still standing, I saw photos today.

Imagine (if you can): at a time when most aspects of the nation are swirling around the toilet bowl on their way down and out, there are still people who make time in their lives for public insults of individuals they have never known and imagine that applying labels is sufficient to establish the validity of the character faults imputed to the targets, though self-righteousness is generally not among the invective aimed at others. I put it to you that no student of irony could ask for more.

My name is Mr. President Shit-For-Brains and my friends and I want to provoke violent confrontations among opposing collectivities, for reasons we have yet to make clear under oath. If only I had a fatal heart attack tomorrow, the problem would vanish overnight because the problem is me, not the insitutionalized ethnocentrism that has infected the entire country all along, to the degree that someone like me(!) can get elected to the highest office in the land. Would it matter if my name were Adolph? It sure as hell didn't matter last time.

de facto rule we live by: if your surgeon commits a surgical error, there's no rule against her/him or some other surgeon correcting the mistake. on the other hand, if the entire country makes a horrible mistake such as, oh, inviting the transition into racist totalitarianism, well, that's just too bad. you can't return a defective president like you can return a defective vacuum cleaner. the vacuum cleaner, at least you can throw that worthless piece of shit in the garbage.

Fionacatherine and dor1316 like this

You obviously don't get it yet. This schmuck is a loss leader for the movement from which he is drawn. As the president, he gets a thousand times as much attention as an ordinary asshole of his type deserves. Later, the populace will be glad he's gone no matter the emboldened more vicious millions left behind. The lightning rod does its job by taking the jolt for the sake of the meth lab below. Why else would he be hooking his car keys to the kite he's flying in the worst financial storm already at the door?

Christ almighty, don't you get it yet? What's important to him are money for himself and his immediate, currently favored relatives -- and subsequent relief on the part of the populace after he's gone that the remaining tens of millions of shitheads at least aren't as bads as he was. Must have hired some Madison Avenue jew to get that one figured out. It's called a "loss leader." When you've got a warehouse full of crap that is never going anywhere because it sucks, put a shrieking piece of shit in the display case so that last year's leftovers will look like tomorrow's fashion leaders. The lightning rod does it job by taking the jolt for the sake of the meth lab.

What to do when the nazis come to town? Call the sheriff and hope that he's not one of them? Wait for Nuremberg trials later to see whether or not they were fine people because, after all, they are the same color as you are and go to the same churches?

jetz ist deine schreckliche Trump kaput up one side und down the other

dor1316 likes this

50 years ago, the whole world was watching. Today, the whole world is warning! ("TV dinner by the pool, I'm so glad I went to school.")

Denpasar 5/28/2017

www.suicideparties.edu

In a monarchy, the king is sovereign. In a democracy, it's the people themselves who are sovereign. (Hang on to this difference for a moment.) When a sovereign people delegate authority to public servants, "ceteris paribus" they can RESCIND that delegation of authority. In plain English, they can change their mind, particularly if they come to realize that they have made a horribe, horrible mistake. It might be bloody, but it would not be wrong. Comprende, pendejo?

Hey, numb nuts, things are getting worser and worser and all you do is revel in the stupidity of it all, as if it weren't your own country being downgraded to 3rd-world status for the sake of the 2%. The wolves are walking the walk while the sheep are milling around talking the talk. You think this isn't real? Where are JFK and RFK and MLK? Where was Kent State? Who the hell do you think is going to drop down from the sky and save you from your own impotence in the clear face of the ongoing progressive ruination of your country? (God helps those who help themselves; the others get turned into hamburger. ) The house is on fire - get it, dimwit? All you got is a volunteer fire department. ('Your ma cain't help you now.')

Hey, shit-for-brains, the more you complain instead of acting, the bolder they get. You are trying to win a game using a strategy that is failing day by day and you are too narcotized to realize it. The problem is that leaders of other countries aren't as stupid as ours is, and you (we) are too stupid to simply get up and forcibly remove the hopeless amoral idiots we put into office. You couldn't save JFK or RFK or MLK and, here, look, you can't even save your own stupid asses. ('You gotsome nerve . . . calling people idiots.') This is an EMERGENCY and your ma cain't he'p you now. I spell it I-M-P-O-T-E-N-T.

You're so lame, you probably think this post isn't about you. Tell me, then, what other useless bunch of fuckheads are jacking off with their smarter-than-they-are handphones while everything they said they cared about is being overturned and uprooted because of how a combination of rednecks and idiots voted in the last election? There are now only two ways forward: on your feet or on your knees. (This time it's for real: the whole world is watching.)

It may seem too obvious to warrant mentioning, but the easy availability of a computer screen to vent one's strongly-felt opinions is likely no more than an emotional vent that has no chance of bringing about the changes desired -- compare to actions that of their public nature constitute history, e.g., coordinated nationwide moment of silent mourning due to the rape and pillage of our nation, or nighttime civilian-owned lasers directed upwards for documentation of the breadth of the despair by the passing satellites of every nation. There is a step in between grinding one's teeth and sharpening the pictchforks -- de-narcotization. Arguendo, it is time, now.

dor1316 likes this

It seems too obvious to warrant mentioning, but having the computer screen to scream at offers a convenient, attractive method of expressing feelings and opinions that likely has nothing resembling the desired changes, distracts us from public behaviors that go to make up history itself, e.g., coordinated nationwide moments of silence to signal mourning or simultaneous nighttime skyward-aimed civilian lasers to be documented by all nations' satellites -- violence has its proper ttime and place

dor1316 likes this

The dominant activity of the electorate at the present moment is that of pretending that we will know before it is too late that . . . darn, now it's too late and we're fucked up one side and down the other.

COINCIDENCE THEORIST : an unbolted nut who believes that concurrent events are never causally related.

After 100 years of fake advertising, suddenly the establishment has a boner over fake news. Smell anything?

it used to be understood that ethics and morality were for the purpose of keeping a lid on the instincts of the primate, not impediments to be swept aside whenever possible. but now the tide has turned, the exception has become the rule. now, we are enjoined to give thanks for even the smallest morsel of honesty and decency in our lives or be pilloried for lack of gratitude. SHARE if you recognize the law of supply and demand applied to morality: the less there is, the more valuable it becomes.

Organized religion is an example of a good idea gone bad. Unlike the other primates, we are able to reflect on our existence, even to imagine that, unlike them, we ourselves are not a part of the natural world, not a part of the universe. The goal of religion was to have been to halt that fantastic egoism by teaching that we are part of a greater reality and subject to a higher authority. The irony is that the teachings themselves have been employed by many in the service of the same egoism they were intended to restrain while the goal itself has been all but forgotten. Ecce homo.

killerjoe likes this

We are other beings' aliens.

Reposted from killerjoe

dor1316 likes this

We are other beings' aliens.

bold and dor1316 like this

reposted by killerjoe

Half of the folks on FB are interested in pets and scenery and cartoons and the other half are pulling their hair out because the nation is circling the toilet bowl politically and financially, and religions are fighting the wars and war is the religion of all. Repent, the end is nearly here!

dor1316 likes this

Depending on the type of parents you had, you either do or do not want to know yourself and be known by others; and you habitually gravitate toward either the carrot or the stick.

dor1316 likes this

The typical FB user goes to court: "But, Your Honor, the prosecution is biased, they always think the accused has done something wrong - I object to their evidence on the ground of ideological bias!"

No, Mr. Republican Keep-It-For-Yourself, nobody really wants to take what you truly "worked hard to get." It's the rest that they're talking about.

dor1316 likes this

First one's free; fly now, pay later; don't sweat the small stuff; time heals all wounds; it'll all work out in the end; dust to dust. (We are sorry, your time has expired. Thank you for visiting.)

dor1316 likes this

successful propagandists know what parents all know: the dumbest can influence the smartest given enough repetition.

Krisargent, janem803 and dor1316 like this