matreem's Posts

Just about anything can sound dirty if you think about it.

Reposted from kj55

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That moment when your alarm clock decides to ruin your whole morning.

Reposted from anonymous

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I study,
I take the test,
I pass it,
I forget what I learned.

Reposted from anonymous

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That moment when someone likes an old post of yours, and you're secretly wondering if they are stalking you.

Reposted from anonymous

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Life is never boring with a dirty mind ;)

Reposted from 2schaa

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I do not like bugs.

Reposted from anonymous

nash grier is perfect

#nashgrier#perfect

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How are 11 year olds in relationships and kissing and stuff, when i can't even talk to the check out person at the store without stuttering.

Reposted from anonymous

Gabbem likes this

If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven oranges, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats.

Reposted from bold

Sex jokes are not funny. I mean cum on people.

Reposted from bold

I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don't have.

Reposted from bold

dor1316 likes this

Teacher: "Why is your cat in school?"

Kid: "Because i heard dad say to mom, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' "

Reposted from anonymous

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Tell a therapist, not Facebook.

Reposted from anonymous

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Design is so simple, that's why it is so complicated.

Reposted from hebdifescht

Get the kind of Friday you deserve.

Reposted from bold

bold likes this

Hey there Friday,
I've been waiting to see your sexy ass since Monday...let's do this.

Reposted from iloveapplepie

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

Reposted from wallifer

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

Reposted from brenlouwin

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

Reposted from anonymous

Don't add winky face emoticons to anything unless you want me to take it sexually.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

Reposted from Lirpae..