teeprimett45's Posts

Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.

Reposted from anonymous

I don't watch soccer...

If I want to spend 90 minutes watching people struggling to score, I take my friends to a bar.

Reposted from anonymous

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

Reposted from cubjurholt

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

Reposted from hebdifescht

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

Reposted from anonymous

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Reposted from anonymous

teeprimett45 likes this

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

Reposted from HUMENtravisty

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

Reposted from wiltun

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Reposted from anonymous

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Reposted from anonymous

An Australian kiss is like a French kiss

but Down Under

Reposted from Loupi4614

Loupi4614 likes this

An Australian kiss is like a French kiss

but Down Under

Reposted from Loupi4614

Loupi4614 likes this

They say that beauty is on the inside, but I've seen enough crime scenes to know that's not true.

Reposted from billybobby

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

They say that beauty is on the inside, but I've seen enough crime scenes to know that's not true.

Reposted from billybobby

if you walk a mile in my shoes you'll end up at the bar.

Reposted from sunrheaa13

GaylrdSprFckr likes this