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tmd2020's Posts

Studying online is like meditating... you always try your best to withstand the entire session.

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All
vacuum cleaners SUCK.

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LAW JOKE 2:
Would someone ever be sentenced THREE TIMES for the same crime???

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LAW JOKE 1:
If someone committed the same crime twice, would they be sentenced twice for the same crime???

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If your mom tells you "You want to sleep? Yeah. Dream on", are you allowed to sleep or not?

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Does anyone wonder why the 5th major variant of SARS-COV-2 is called LAMBDA instead of EPSILON?

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A playground is a ground on which children play.
Then what is a PlayStation?

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A manhole is NOT in the shape of a man, but a man can fall into it.

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A chairman isn't a mutated person who looks like a chair.

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A person can't be cold-blooded at all - humans are warm-blooded animals.

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Which hero sells a lot of things?
Super-
market.

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Which country is always in a hurry?
RUSHia. (Russia)

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A vehicle is going to the dentist.
It has got CARvities.

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How do you greet people when you're feeling down?
"Good mourning."

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Which type of car is always noisy?
HORNda. (Honda)

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I think that the world has got a ton of FAKE currencies.
Except for Brazil. Theirs is REAL.

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Motto for hair-dressers:
DYE until you DIE.

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Life is definitely a competition...
otherwise, there will be nothing such as a HUMAN RACE.

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I'm trying to come up with a physics joke, but i don't know Watt to write.

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2 metres is equivalent to about 6 AND A HALF FEET.

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Which type of person is tastiest?
RaMEN.

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siouxz: love it love it
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Money laundering sounds clean and dirty at the same time.

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How to honour a broken piece of computer hardware:
"In loving memory of RAM..."

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Some people are just like ghosts - they won't ever show up where you think they will.

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In the UK, if you are told that you've lost 100 pounds...
should you be happy or sad for that?

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The fruits are marching two by two - in other words, they're going in PEARS.

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(Best for American accents)
Which capital city in the world is the juiciest?
PEARis. (Paris)

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Why do people always say "learn by HEART" when they obviously learn by their BRAINS?

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What do chemistry and music have in common?
Heavy metal.

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What do you call an actor who can't hear anything at all?
Johnny DEAF.

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How does a soldier decline an invitation?
"Tanks but no tanks."

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What is the longest men's name in the English language?
MILES.

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reposted by siouxz

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Where does the alphabet go on holiday?
The C.

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What jokes do monsters like to hear most?
TaBOO jokes.

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I am trying to catch Republican and Democratic.
In other words, I am chasing parties.

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Has anyone thought that Starbucks is funded by celebrities' money?

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Which type of bee is able to play music?
The HORNet,
obviously.

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The Burj Khalifa doesn't need weed.
It is already high.

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All angles which are not 90 degrees are all WRONG.

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Wild pigs are always BOARed.

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A flag which does not function well is called a F-LAG.

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Just give me some wine for goodness' sake!...
you see what I did there?

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siouxz: i c what u did i c what u did
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I was just trying to make a joke about nuts, but I didn't think any of you would crack up.

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Imagine how Americans will react to a British person asking where the drugstore is...

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You've just ripped that last piece of paper.
You are TEARrible.

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Here's how I would make an advert:
"Linux Mint - fresh breath for the old hardware."

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Which musical instrument is the easiest to learn?
The bass - you know it's BASS-ic.

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Which cold-climate animal is full of ink?
PENguin.

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A lot of people want to see the Persian Gulf.
A lot of sport players, however, want to see the Persian Golf.

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Which colour is the noisiest of all?
YELLow.

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siouxz: lol lol
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There are a lot of students who are bad in History classes.
For such people, everything they learn in such classes is History.

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