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Posts Liked by blot

Hey, people who are always happy...

Please stop existing. Thank you and bye!

13

"Same"

-me as a therapist

17

Calm down mad museum man.
I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.

23

Whatever,
I have boobs.

68

Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have.

104

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

151

I want you when I wake up!
Hmm, I love your smell, the way you taste, I love it when you are sooo hot... hmmm, I realy love my cup of coffee in the morning

25

Today's forecast - Sunrise, sunset & some shit in between.

24

Out of all of my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

107

I could
write poems on your neck with my lips.

173

sometimes all you need is 1 million dollar and a new identity.

170

Some days “solitary confinement” sounds more like paradise than like punishment.

20

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

104

I do not spew profanities.

I enunciate them properly like a fucking lady.

89

Waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup.

110

I wish I could go back
to a time when I could
smile and it didn't take
everything in me to do it.

18

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

115

I WAKE UP TIRED AND GO TO BED WIDE AWAKE.

17

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

175

It's okay.

My comebacks are as epic as my fuck-ups.

120

to every spider i have killed, i'm sorry...

sorry that you're bitch asses came into my house uninvited.

16

REPORT CARD

SUBJECT GRADE

Happiness F
Health F
Finance F-
Family F
Faith F
Friends F

1

Bedtime is wonderful because I get to do two things I love: nap and worry.

83

You can't have eyes that and lips like those without having everyone you meet fall in love with you instantly.

4

"...and then I felt sad because I
realised that once people are broken
in certain ways, they can't ever be
fixed, and this is something nobody
ever tells you when you're young."

34

If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whos funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, 'haven't decided yet.'

247

Can someone just come and hold me in their arms? I feel like I'm powerless and I don't know how much I can take.

6

I give up.

2

Someone save me from myself.

4

I put a note on my mirror this morning. It says "objects are smaller than they appear."

20

I'm gonna use what little
energy I have today to breathe
and blink, that's about it.

28

"I love that moment. When you're on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. And you completely zone out. You forget your troubles, and everyone around you. You're focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. You're content, and everything seems peaceful."

32

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

171

STARBUCKS NEEDS A SEPARATE LINE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR SHIT TOGETHER

146

Sorry,
I wasn't paying attention..
I was thinking about having
sex with you •

4

You have no idea how much l like you.

How much you make me smile, how much l love talking to you, or how much l wish you were here.

5

Whenever someone says, "You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"

82

My guardian angel spends most of his time sighing and saying
"Dude, don't drink that".

58

I wish I lost weight as fast as I lose motivation.

68

My favorite part of the day is when I get to go to bed.

35

My relationship is like my pet turtle, I don't have a pet turtle.

66

losing everything but weight

38

Yippih!

Almost time for that "New year, new me" bullshit.

26

Sometimes I wonder why I even try...

7

I call you Honey
because you're so sweet

I call you Angel
because you're so graceful

I call you my Love
because you fill my heart

I call you Sunshine
because you light up my life

I'd just would love to hear you call me

MINE

25

This is the first day of my life

I'm glad
I didn't die
before I met you

But now
I don't care
I could go anywhere
with you

And
I'd
probably
be
happy

21

My heart

breaks

a little
when I
hear
your name

47

My dark heart
loves you
It loves you
and it breaks
It breaks
and finches
and bleeds
to death

But
you
don't
see
it

17

I loved her
more than
all words
of all languages
of all worlds
could ever express

39

Trust me. If I had a death ray I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.

11

My favorite mythical creature is a soul mate.

12

Let me file that under fuck it.

7

Dear Heart, please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it.

11

According to my calender, I'm not going to give a shit tomorrow either.

12

What is it called when your crush likes you back?

Your imagination.

9

Christmas is so close, I can almost smell the mistletoe I am not going to be kissed under.

10

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

tomorrow (noun)

a mystical land where 99 percent of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

201

"Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness."

8

The Bad News ;

Nothing lasts

FOREVER .

The Good News ;

Nothing lasts

FOREVER :

16

AIN'T ...

NO WAY I ....

WAS BORN ...

JUST TO PAY ...

BILL'S ....

AND DIE ...

27

sad people
love the rain
because they are
no longer crying alone

65

Crushes are more beautiful than affairs because there is no responsibility, no worry, no commitment. Just look at your crush & smile like an idiot.

25

some people are like slinkies...

Not really good for much.
but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs :)

5

fuck you
fuck off
fuck it
fuck all
fuck them
fuck us
fuck that
motherfucker
fucker
fucksake
fuckthatshit
seriously fuck fuck fuck.

2

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE WITHOUT FAILING AT SOMETHING, UNLESS YOU LIVE SO CAUTIOUSLY THAT YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE NOT LIVED AT ALL - IN WHICH CASE, YOU FAIL BY DEFAULT

3

I can't possibly
fuck up
the entire universe, so that's a relief.

24

There are many selves hidden within me.

Few are good.

3

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.

13

Your shirt
Has got
To go,
But you
Can stay.

18

Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.

4

She IM me: "Your adorable."

I replied: "No, you're adorable."

Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!

17

Have you ever hated yourself for not being someone more successful?

7

Face: "You're ugly"

Body: "You're fat"

Brain: "You're stupid"

Life: "You suck"

Food: "Come here babe, you'll be happy with me"

16

$(•_•) <) )> When you're ready / \ ( •_•) <( (> Come and get it / \ (•_•) ~( )~ NA NA NA NA$

28

The reason I swear so much is because FUCK YOU.

15

J??o??d??i??e??T??

14

In life you will find that you have to make decisions that make sense to none but you.

182

I just wanna sit on a rooftop with someone at 2am & just look at the night sky, not worrying about anything going on in life.

48

Worry is just meditating on bullshit

205

Show a girl you don't care and she'll chase you. Show a woman you don't care and she'll replace you.

7

Only two days of your life are less than 24 hours long.

17

I know I may sound selfish, but I want you. I hope you want me too, but I know you don't.

4

I don't give a fuck.
I mean I do, but fuck it.

37

Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it

9

Sex? No thanks, my life fucks me every day

117

You would probably feel weird if you knew how beautiful I think you are.

1

I don't know if you feel the same as I do..
but we could be together if you wanted to •

15

OVER
WORKED
& UNDER
CAFFEINATED.

10

YOUR FACE WOULD LOOK BETTER BETWEEN MY LEGS.

50

BUT IN THE END, EVERYONE TURNS OUT TO BE THE PERSON THEY SWORE THEY'D NEVER BECOME.

25

SUNSHINE COFFEE

9

Sometimes I sink into the depths of solitude and I enjoy it. As lost as I swim, I am at least sure that I am there.

5

Can ANYONE tell me why kamikaze pilots wore helmets?

14

I love the "I've missed you so much" hug.

39

July, august 2014:

mildest winter ever!!

23

YOUR NAME SOUNDS MOANABLE.

79

i have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity

4

^<^>^<^>^<^> COME JOIN THE I'M FUCKING DONE CLUB
^<^>^<^>^<^>

4

help me I'm drowning

lol

3

We're all playing the same game, just on different levels. We're all living in the same hell, just with different devils.

2

Grabe a plate and throw it on the ground.
- Okay, done.
Did it break?
- Yes.
Now say sorry to it.
- Sorry.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
- No.
Do you understand?

11

I'm so sick of people bullying other people. How many people does it take until people realize that their words hurt?

7

If I were truly myself, I would break my family's heart.

3

After being told my whole life that I'm not good enough, what else am I supposed to believe?

7

Sorry,

I can't get out of bed today. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own.
If I leave now I might lose their trust.

6

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

3

i wish
i could
copy 'n' paste
you
into my bed

7

Real men don't love the most beautiful girl in the world, they love the girl who can make their world the most beautiful.

5

renamed my ipod the Titanic, so when i plug it in, it says "the Titanic is syncing" he he

213

Mum said "If you don't put your leftovers in Tupperware for at least two weeks before throwing them in the trash, you're doing it wrong".

12

damn.

don't you hate it when you think you're out buying organic veggies and when you get home you realize they're just regular donuts?

makes me mad.

138

Sorry,

I can't get out of bed today. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own.
If I leave now I might lose their trust.

9

Prison is for rapists, thieves and murderers. If you lock someone up for smoking a plant that makes them happy, you're fucking criminal.

4

Don't be mad because I don't care anymore.
Be mad because I once did, and you fucked it up.

5

Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.

53

And I just want to tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you, and I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't,

I almost do.

235

And I just want to tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you, and I wish I could run to you, and I hope you know that every time I don't,

I almost do.

67

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