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Posts Liked by bubbax

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.

244

I need more drinks and less light.

52

New Yeah

59

I don't give a fuck.
I mean I do, but fuck it.

149

thank god
i'm an atheist!

118

An Australian kiss is like a French kiss

but Down Under

154

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

204

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

494

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

bock auf candle light döner?

373

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

353

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

363

if you rearrange the letters in

MOTHER IN LAW

you get

WOMAN HITLER

184

and I drink to myself...

what a wonderful world

189

Kiss me like your ex is watching

256

If the phone doesn't ring,
it's me.

178

I dont have exes, I have Y's. Y the fuck did I date you?

180

What Susie says
of Sally
says more of Susie
than of Sally.

Remember that.

199

Work until your idols become your rivals.

298

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

264

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

rap is like scissors it always loses to rock

182

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

289

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