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Posts Liked by bykiwi

I 'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.

197

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

478

Of course I talk to myself...

Sometimes I need a professional opinion!

13

They should ask us who we are instead of what we want to be.

526

I want you to know,
you'll always be a part of my soul.

29

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains".

Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever.

184

Yeah, you're pretty from a distance...
at night... under a rock.

115

An Australian kiss is like a French kiss

but Down Under

154

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

258

Spring needs to stand up to winter and kick it in the snowballs.

174

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

278

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

Porn titles always lack depth and imagination. Yes, we all know college girl is trying anal for the 1st time, but what's her major? Her dreams?

151

Favorite type of music to play during sex?

You.

198

Explore.
Dream.
Discover.
Believe.

318

Yes mom I know my room is a mess it's a metaphor for my life, i'm trying to be poetic.

462

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

lovers

that word really bums me out

..unless its between cheese and pizza

244

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

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