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Posts Liked by kiminko

I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED ...

THESE BLANKET'S HAVE ACCEPTED ME AS ONE OF THEIR OWN AND IF I LEAVE NOW I MIGHT LOSE THEIR TRUST.

20

I'm not always rude and sarcastic...

sometimes I'm asleep.

21

I finally found love..

..on page 566 in the dictionary •

5

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "oh shit it's the cops"?

5

another fine day ruined by responsibility

9

If we never did anything we shouldn't do, we'd never feel good about doing the things we should.

21

what if i fall ?

oh, but my darling , what if you fly ?

28

A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talking about each other....

132

THIS WHOLE GROWN UP THING HAS BEEN FUN...BUT I HAVE TO GO NOW ;-)

12

If rape is the victim's fault than 9/11 is the buildings fault for being so tall and crashable.

29

THERE ARE ONLY THREE THINGS THAT TELL THE TRUTH:

SMALL CHILDREN
DRUNKS AND LEGGINGS ;-0

14

There should be a refund on calories for things that didn't taste as good as you expected.

26

MONDAY

IS NOT SO BAD,
IT'S YOUR JOB THAT SUCKS !

12

I PUT MY SCALE IN THE BATHROOM CORNER,AND THATS WHERE THAT BITCH WILL STAY UNTIL SHE APOLOGIZES..

16

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 10 YEARS?

IN 2026.

9

R.I.P.
DAVID BOWIE

15

this is Major Tom
to Ground Control

I'm stepping
through the door

and I'm floating
in a most peculiar way

and the stars look
very different today

83

There are two kinds of people in life: Those who walk into a room and say "Well here I am" and those who walk into a room and say "Ahh there you are"

9

My Bed
Wasn't Feeling
Well This Morning,
So I Stayed at Home
To Take Care Of It.

95

this is Major Tom
to Ground Control

I'm stepping
through the door

and I'm floating
in a most peculiar way

and the stars look
very different today

38

I
let
the
dog
out.

16

WHAT SCREWS US UP MOST IN LIFE IS HOW WE PICTURE IN OUR HEADS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE!

14

If you think the Mount Everest is high, come and see my Mount Laundry!

105

"On the journey to myself
I've been so many people."

139

imagine if men were as disgusted with rape as they are with periods

24

I don't care about Disney lying about Prince Charming.

I'm more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.

40

You speak like something
I wrote when
I was drunk.

113

Man kann auch glänzen, wenn man gar keinen Schimmer hat.

41

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well, actually he said "less McDonalds" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

22

I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

31

If we date we're insulting people together.

13

I want someone who'll sit on a rooftop with me at 2am & tell me their fav songs and their family problems, & how they think the earth was made.

20

they say alcohol kills, but how many are born of it?

63

To Quote Hamlet
Act III, Scene III
Line 87,

"NO"

241

It's all about the person you miss at 2 p.m. when you're busy, not 2 a.m. when you're lonely.

29

genuphobia: fear of knees

because knees are really scary

3

the fear of long words:
hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia

imagine trying to tell your doctor what you have and panicking

4

triskaidekaphobia:

fear of the number 13

3

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

129

You know you're getting old when your year of birth is no longer immediately visible in drop-down menus and you have to start scrolling down.

164

I really fucked up my life.

Where can I register for a new account?

10

Some times the best revenge is to smile and move on

3

It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is.

4

When all hope is gone..

Remember hope is not always what you need.

6

I <3 the people with who you start laughing about nothing and can't stop.

4

Always be yourself.
Unless you can be a unicorn.
Than always be a unicorn

1

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

2

That awkward moment when everyone sings happy B-day and you don't know where to look.

7

Trying to sleep like;
One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old mac Donald had a farm,
HEE MACARENA!!!!

257

My guardian angel spends most of his time sighing and saying
"Dude, don't drink that".

5

you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it

14

When I was born I was so shocked that I didn't talk for, like, a year.

71

Bitch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory..

22

With great power, comes great need to take a nap.

40

A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise.

78

when Jesus returns He will weep at the things people have done in His name

5

You know, long distance relationships are so hard, especially since my boyfriend lives in the future!

197

Ich hatte mal bei den Weight Watchers angerufen
-
da hat aber niemand abgenommen.

80

My body is a temple...

Unfortunately,
I have no respect for religion.

142

We all think we're smart
until we try to turn on
someone else's shower.

212

If we all pretend tomorrow is Sunday we might just get away with it.

172

I can't wait to hide all the Easter candy for the kids inside my stomach.

156

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