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Posts Liked by legsmcgee

Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.

233

Stop asking WHY I'm still single.

I don't ask how you're still married.

219

Wow, that was rather inappropriate.

Let's be friends.

193

Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you
as if you are.

328

Work until your idols become your rivals.

298

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says

"Hold my beer and watch this."

214

I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.

338

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

321

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

289

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

221

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

That moment between Netflix episodes where you see your reflection on the black screen and wonder what the fuck you're doing with your life

234

In 1814 Women had no rights

In 1914 Women fought for some rights

In 2014 Women are always fucking right

222

Can't wait for the day some kid grows up and sues their parents for plastering their face all over the Internet.

194

i think therefore

i don't have much in common with a lot of people

236

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

147

If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.

177

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

181

Better grab my dumbrella.

It's really stupid out there today.

294

In which language would you prefer I tell you how much I do not give a shit?

I have my translator app open, fire away.

182

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