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Posts Liked by mrrrie

roses are red.
roses are blue.
if you open up photoshop
& fuck with the hue!

7

REST
IN
PEACE
THIS
PEACE
OF
MIND
SOMEDAY
WE
WILL
REUNITE

7

If I collapse at work, here's a list of doctors that I don't want working on me.

14

I stood there
and had the feeling
my heart

could
stop
beating

any moment

29

you can only lose what you cling to.

14

I just wanted to let you know how much my soul has died since I started working here.

18

Dieser Moment, wenn dich dein Chef dazu zwingt, Pralinen zu probieren.

11

I can't cook you say? Well, you've obviously never tried my cereal.

29

My dearly beloved

If I'm going to die
today
and never see
your sweet face again...

I want you to know
that I'm not a great man
I'm lucky
to have
such a
wonderful woman
like you

I don't deserve you.

29

CONFIDENCE
IS SILENT.

INSECURITIES
ARE LOUD.

6

STORMS
MAKE
TREES
TAKE
DEEPER
ROOTS.

14

*gets fucked by reality

9

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.

82

The biggest mistake is assuming anyone gives a fuck.

19

And
the
wind

w h i s p e r s

your name

21

- Hallo, isch bin Umberto. Isch komme, um Deine Frau zu vögeln.

- Um... Waaas?

- Um-BERTO!

1

I'm on a seafood diet.

I see food, and then I eat it.

26

...because you heard me
when I was silent...

57

...because you saw me
when I was invisible...

29

We're meant
to lose
the people
we love

How else
would we know
how important
they are
to us

?

24

Newborn
I open my eyes
I melt
Into the eternal night
A spark
You got me
out of the darkness

You gathered me
up from earth

You brought me back to life

23

The truth is, everyone's going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

- Bob Marley

5

I love boldomagic
For once, it's not about how pretty or thin you are, it's just about what's on you mind

16

LOVE
is friendship on fire

20

You should know I take my sarcasm very seriously.

16

attention please !

all the passengers must smile and have a nice day !

4

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Fridays.

17

Often
a cruel heart
is hidden in
a lovely body
and
a ugly personality
is hidden behind
a pretty face

29

pour yourself a drink,
put on some lipstick and pull yourself together.

15

love
(noun)

a form of amnesia when a girl forgets there are 1.2 bilion other boys in the world

15

you see all my light and you love my dark

14

etc.

end of thinking capacity

90

Different fears. Different gears.
Same destination.

9

My week in a nutshell:
Monday
Monday Two
Monday Three
Monday Four
Friday
Saturday
Pre-Monday

18

Do not expect a "Bless you" after your 5th sneeze, get that shit under fucking control!

20

your arms feel more like home than any house ever did

29

it is both a blessing and a curse
to feel everything so very deeply

32

$I hate math... but I love counting money$

21

and though I know,
since you've awakened her again she depends on you

9

if you're looking for it, you won't find it.

5

Keep the faith. The most amazing things in life tend to happen right at the moment you're about to give up hope.

33

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

18

We're all traveling
through time
together
every day of our lives

All we can do is
do our best
to relish this
remarkable ride

19

i use to think i need to be nice to everyone.

LOL

1

sometimes i wish i was a little child again

skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts

3

without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
take time and thank a stupid person for the contribution.

2

how can we win when fools can be kings

3

you deserve a high-five.
in the face.
with a chair.

2

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies "for you, no charge".

3

listen to me bitch

your pumpkin will never become a royal horse-drawn coach

4

love is in the air ?

wrong. nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide are in the air.

12

the wise ones don't need to convince everyone.

they influence.

10

"Homosexuality is unnatural.." says this book, where snakes talk, apples set an eternal curse, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby!

74

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

4

There is a pretty good chance I'll end up being one of those senior citizens who randomly bites people.

5

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

5

We have so much in common. You want to travel, & I want you to go.

6

The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you're talking to drugs, it's probably too late to say no to them.

11

Don't call
it a fight when you know it's
a war.

10

So you think I'm weird?

That's ok, you'll be sure in a minute.

24

Die Tragik meines Lebens besteht darin, dass ich theoretisch weiss, wann ich besser nichts sagen sollte. Und dann höre ich mich reden.

3

there is nothing sadder than losing yourself in love

11

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

220

Just remember:
Any bitch before me was a mistake & any bitch after me is a downgrade.

10

you're always haunted by the idea that you're wasting your life

18

with the taste of your lips

7

Yes, I'm single. And you'll have to be f*cking amazing to change that.

50

fail in love

34

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I hope that they split us by the music genre.

33

drinking rum before 10a.m. makes you a pirate NOT an alcoholic.

25

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

34

Don't read the next sentence.

You little rebel...I like you!

70

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

SOMETIMES,
YOU HAVE TO STEP OUTSIDE,
INTO THE RAIN,
TO REMIND YOURSELF OF WHO YOU ARE

A SMOKER.

34

FREE HUGS

[$50 to let go]

37

YOUNG, WILD AND RETARDED.

262

me: "siri tell me a joke"

siri: *opens camera app*

40

Feeling stupid for double tapping Bolds.

1

Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you
as if you are.

182

for halloween this year we should all just dress up as who we really are

nobody would recognize anyone

98

( ' } { ' )

90

you are ugly and that's the truth

32

people wait all
week for friday,
all year for summer,
all life for happiness

60

you are not fat

you have fat

you also have fingernails

you are not fingernail

74

I said, "I love you" as I sat by him sipping my wine.
That's when he asked me, "is that you or the wine talking?"
I replied, "Oh, sorry. That was me talking to the wine."

160

some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about

160

if i had 1$ for everytime i got called beautiful i'd have 1$

thanks mom

117

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

129

1998 is as far away as 2030

39

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out!

9

I'll just watch one
episode
epison
epason
eason
season

12

You're so fake,
even China denied they made you.

98

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand.

Now put it over your mouth.

25

Reasons I haven't committed murder today:

1. I don't want
to go to prison.

... yeah, that's all I got.

19

i fell in love with what you were, not what you are.

3

getting no message is also a message...

2

Dear Noah,

we could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'till 5.

Sincerly,
Unicorns

2

A child of five could understand this.

Quick, fetch a child of five!

1

"I'm not young enough to know everything"

-Oscar Wilde

3

A Blind Man walks into a
bar.
And a table.
And a chair.

5

If it really is the thought that counts...
I should be in prison.

15

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

108

You were so attractive until you texted me with your hideous grammar.

81

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

217

The word avacado comes from the Aztec word ahucati which means testicle.

I'll never eat guacamole again!

77

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