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Posts Liked by scizzor127

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

HAKUNA
MADAFAKA

42

I'll tell you why I came home half drunk last night.... I ran out of money.

19

I wonder if when people enter a restaurant their mind automatically sets to food mode.

"How are you doing today?"

Customer: Yeah, I'll take a burger.

20

"In Europe, we're not allowed have wars anymore, so we take out all our anger and competitiveness every year in the Eurovision."

15

note to myself: drink less, write more.

16

Fuck it!

I'm a princess

94

On a scale of 0 to Potato, how mashed were
you
last night?

38

No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness

66

Don't wait too long to make decisions!

Otherwise you'll end up, nothing but a victim of eventuality!

17

From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to give you the wrong phone number

78

I'm not made for
todays standards, sadly..
I still believe in passion, chivalry and true love •

46

We don't even have to be friends

we can just be benefits.

49

We all have that one skinny friend who eats more than an elephant.

48

Dear radiostations, you do realize that there are more than just 5 songs in the world, right?

27

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is
to create something
that will.

• Chuck Palahniuk

108

I don't want a job,

I just want money.

34

YOUNG, WILD AND RETARDED

32

Throwing fertilizer at people that need to grow up.

105

I hate when people think you're lying just because you laugh

78

Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

162

I use sarcasm because it's illegal to kill

208

This flash mob sucks. It's in my living room, only my Mum showed up, and she's just telling me to stop drinking.

44

Mornings come in
three sizes:
Early,
Too Early, and Way Too Early!

88

Nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. The last one didn't get paid enough.

102

some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about

160

A Blind Man walks into a
bar.
And a table.
And a chair.

108

some people can't sleep because they have insomnia, I can't sleep because I have internet connection

71

BY THE WAY,
I'M WEARING
THE SMILE
YOU GAVE ME.

220

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

108

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

137

I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT

BUT I HATE LOSING

173

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