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Posts Liked by splizzylizzy

Second chances have never been a problem with me.

I tend to give about 7 or 8 before I realize I'm an idiot.

27

Jedes Herz ist eine revolutionäre Zelle

14

Es heisst ja "Guten Morgen", weil "Halt die Fresse und geh sterben" gesellschaftlich nicht so akzeptiert ist.

62

I'M NOT PREGNANT!
BUT I'M STILL EATING FOR TWO, ME AND
MY INNER BITCH,
SHE LOVES TACOS.

80

if a turtle loses its shell....

is it naked, or homeless?

76

This place is fucked. All of you people are sick. I love it.

See you tomorrow.

48

you are the
tree standing
in the middle
of a hurricane
with both middle
fingers up in the air.

56

Wenn du stark sein willst, musst du lernen, alleine zu kämpfen.

7

Es gibt nur drei Arten von Menschen, die die Wahrheit sagen:

Kinder, Betrunkene und Leute die verdammt angepisst sind.

11

Telling a black man to respect police so they don't get killed is like telling a woman to dress appropriately so they don't get raped.

25

i like people with emotional and intellectual depth, people who speak with passion from their inner twisted mind.

87

Sleep doesn't help if its your soul that's tired.

30

Sleep is like sex. I don't get either one as much as I want.

14

I may not be pretty or funny or know a lot but if you need someone to always mess stuff up and create crappy situations and generally be a wreck then hey I'm your girl

37

By trying to keep everyone afloat, she was drowning herself.

15

If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I've been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you!

131

To see a spark in his eyes, I would have to put myself on fire.

9

I've finally accepted the fact that my behavior will never catch up with my age.

130

this may shock you. .... but there are women who are kick ass drivers, love sex, hate talking during movies, don't want your money, and always say exactly what they mean •

49

God created man before woman but...you always make a rough draft before you make the final masterpiece...

3

We are all a work in progress. Those who quit should worry.

86

You can't make everybody happy, You're not a jar of nutella.

3

You never know what worse luck your bad luck saved you from.

11

Sometimes you just have to let negative people live in their own little negative world with their negative opinions, negative thoughts and negative bank accounts.

13

stats show that the average person has sex 89 times a year. looks like i'm in store for a wild December !

89

When you have more than you need build a bigger table - not a higher fence.

141

All I want right now is peace, love and understanding. Oh... and a chocolate bar bigger then my head, is that too much to ask for?

3

I used to think I needed to be nice to everyone. I used to...

5

If you have to ask what she wants, you can't give it to her.

19

If Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad fucking Pitt, then you can get over that fuckboy in your life that clearly doesn't deserve you.

12

Dear Life; when I said "can things get any worse" it was a rhetorical question not a challenge... FML!

3

There is a fine line between genius & crazy... I like to use that line as a jump rope!

6

Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same

95

She's the kind of girl you meet when you're too young, and you fuck up because there's too much living to do. Only to find out later on, when it's too late, that she's the one.

11

Kriege im Leben nichts gebacken ausser Kuchen.

39

Hold your head high.

And your middle finger higher.

44

you decide whether you're alone or by yourself.

it's just two different places in your head for the same thing.

101

Wenn das die Lösung ist,
dann hätte ich gerne mein Problem wieder.

47

Ich bin "auf MTV liefen Musikvideos" Jahre alt!

35

Die Gesellschaft ist die einzige Problemzone der Frau.

15

I am a kid at heart and a 47 year old coal miner at liver.

72

A poem about me:

I hate mornings.
I wish I was drunk.

The end.

15

What do boys even find attractive about boobs? They are literally a ball of fat on a girl's chest. Like if you can love me for the fat on my chest, why can't you love me for the fat on my stomach you piece of shit?!?

12

Ich bewundere Menschen, die einen falschen und einen richtigen Fuß zum Aufstehen haben. Um diese Uhrzeit habe ich nichtmal einen Körper.

16

I'm at that awkward age where half my friends are in love and having babies and the other half are too drunk to even find their phones.

187

I will never be a morning person.

The moon and i are too much in love.

176

vitamine sind gesund.

kalorien schmecken besser.

28

ich wünschte ich hätte hausverbot in meinem kopfkino

51

Christian people say "No one is born gay," but fail to realize no one is born "Christian" either.

16

This world wasn't meant for me. Nearly nothing I love is legal.

40

There comes a point when it's not that you don't care anymore...

you just can't.

26

If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how very different our ideals of beauty would be.

14

I hope that one day you have the courage to run away from everything that makes you miserable.

18

I don't really want it if I have to show you how to give it.

122

I wasn't being over sensitive, he was being over asshole.

23

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see your food coming at a restaurant.

26

Girls aren't moody. They just have days that they're less likely to put up with your shit.

15

No matter how good of a women you are, you will never be good enough for a man who isn't 'ready.'

36

My life has too many tabs open.

31

I can't possibly fuck up the entire universe,
so that's a relief.

33

There are teenagers having unprotected sex but have cases on their cell phones. Just let that sink in for a moment.

34

I don't have enough middle fingers for today.

33

I'm not really anti-social.
I just know that 93% of people are not worth being social with.

59

Everyone talks about leaving the planet a better place for our kids.

How about we focus on leaving better kids for our planet.

49

I'm not going to be the girl you marry, but I'll be the girl you'll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.

41

It takes 10
times longer
to put
yourself
back
together
then
it does
to fall
apart

6

I will never be a morning person.

The moon and i are too much in love.

5

Sei immer Du selbst!

Außer, Du bist ein fröhlicher Morgenmensch. Dann geh mir nicht auf'n Sack!

38

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