Posts Liked by steffi

You can return time.
Just show a receipt.

you remind me of a software update, whenever i see you i think
"not now!"

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

Be with a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara.

some of the best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

I'M READY FOR CRAZY SUMMER NIGHTS

DER GIN DES LEBENS

The kid behind me at Starbucks got WAY to excited about the last blueberry muffin.

So i ordered it.

Let's kiss.
Let's fuck.
Let's order pizza.

You don't have to be a cowboy to ride off into the sunset.

People wait
all week for Friday,
all year for summer,
all life for happiness.

A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person.

Your life is your message to the world. Make sure it is inspiring.

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

You don't have to be a cowboy to ride off into the sunset.

Wenn man Buchstabensuppe wieder auskotzt, ist das dann gebrochenes Deutsch?

rausgehen ist wie fenster aufmachen nur krasser

eigentlich hatte ich heute viel vor
jetzt habe ich morgen viel vor

Never give any money to those Salvation Army people, they'll just buy more bells!

Life is like toilet paper.
You're either
on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

Hate Mondays. Annoy Tuesday. Ignore Wednesday. Smile Thursday. Love Friday.
Enjoy Saturday. Damn Sunday.

Life is not like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today can burn your ass tomorrow.

When I was a boy, my mom would send me to a corner shop with 1$ and I'd bring back 2 leaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, butter, cheese and some marmelade. You can't do that now... Too many fuckin' security cameras.

I wonder what is worse for your lungs; Smoking, or walking into an Abercrombie store...

If opportunity doesn't knock,
build a door.

Some people appear to be good looking. Turns out that they're actually just young.

Shoes are like sex partners. You don't want the ones which everyone has tried on.

I never use turn signals... It's nobody's damn business where I'm going.

Never argue with that idiot in the mirror, rather buy him a drink and move on.

Can't Stop Drinking About You

True friends don't leave you hanging when no one has 'liked' your post!

How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes.

That annoying moment when you are texting someone and Auto Correct decides to join the conversation.

Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

1.000 th
post

Apple needs to change the Favorites list in the iPhone to VIPs instead, I think it'd be way better.

Just for society in general.

SMART BILLIONAIRE WANTS TO SHARE HIS MONEY WITH A GOOD LOOKING WOMAN.

Dear radio stations, you do realize that there are more than just 5 songs in the world right?

behind every great woman... is a man checking out her ass.

I can always make room in my stomach for the dessert, no matter how full I am.

I get ignored so much, people should call me 'Terms and Conditions'.

update funktioniert !

Hier ist der Anrufbeantworter der Tinnitus-Hilfe.

Bitte hinterlassen Sie eine Nachricht nach dem Piep.......

Dreams will get you nowhere,
a good kick in the ass will take you a long way!

Wären Frauen wirklich für den Haushalt geboren, hätte "werauchimmer" den Staub rosa gemacht.

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of?

It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners.

I heard some hipsters drowned.
They must have fallen into the mainstream.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

$R2D2 C3PO /~\ | oo ) _\=/_ ____ / _ \ / () \ / / | /.\ | \ \ __|______|__ \ \ \_/ | | | | === | | \ | \ / | | | |_ | Z | _| # _ _ / # | | o | | | | | | |__ J __| | | | | |~ \___/ ~| [] | [] /=\ /=\ /=\ | | | __[_]__[_]__[_]________/_]__[_\___________$

Rentner gehören vor'n Fernseher und nicht auf MEINE Schwimmbahn

•groan•
•aargh•

my Mcboi needs more training

add the coffee to my Patrón XO and hold the sweet nothings until noon
•pleeez•

When I was your age, Twix was called Raider.

I really should come with a warning label.

I stay in bed to save the planet.

good morning my friends named coffee, ham and eggs

swiss

+

Long office hours are annoying, it's stressful and you have to wear pants.

you can't have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time

bottle gin is empty... good night!

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it and walk away

Don't raise your voice, improve your argument.

Dear sneeze, If you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and leave it at that. Sincerely, I look like an idiot.

color of your pants
+
the last thing you ate
=
your band name

Manchmal, wenn mir langweilig ist, gehe ich in Asia-Restaurants und überklebe das "N" in Nudelsuppe mit einem "P".

Wie nennt man einen Boomerang der nicht zurück kommt?

Stock.

Wo wohnen Katzen?

Im Mietzhaus!

Meditieren ist besser als rumsitzen und nix tun.

I hope you step on a Lego... barefoot.

*
Happily
ever after
is so
once upon
a time

I'm
looking forward regretting tonight

GIN
UND
MIT

you can't have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time

400

thx

ein Freund hat mir gesagt, ich soll einmal zwischen den Zeilen lesen.

- aber da steht gar nichts!!

ICH ESSE NUR VEGETARIER

The only kind of drama I need is what color of lipgloss I'm going to wear.

i would rather be a comma than a full stop

PANTS OFF FRIDAY

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

Im Leben geht es nicht darum zu warten, bis das Unwetter vorbeizieht, sondern zu lernen im Regen zu tanzen.

Meine gute Laune geht grad meine Motivation suchen.

Verdammt, jetzt sind beide weg.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

It was all a dream.

Back to work?

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria

if you aren't living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

childhood is like being drunk.
everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Life Is About Kicking Ass Not Kissing It

resolution 2013

uninstall ignorance
install curiosity

happy new year

TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH.

Ich hab grad durchgezählt.

ich hab sie nicht mehr alle...

Where's Hollywood!?

2013 resolutions:

// quit smoking
// stop drinking
// become more mature
// stop lying about unrealistic resolutions*

* on hold for 2014

I'm going to save my "be a better person" resolution for 2014.

I want to be a bold asshole for another year.

My New Year's Resolution is to become a skinny bitch...
actually just skinny, I'm already a bitch.

Only a rat can win a rat race.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.

men at
25 play football.
man at
40 play tennis.
man at
60 play golf.

have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?

I’d rather live with a good question than a bad answer.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

You left a funny taste in my head.

happiness is like peeing in your pants. everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

eight
beers
after

I never really grow up, I only learn how to act in public.

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

When I die,
I want to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.

this is a place for my head.

age doesn't define maturity

I'm sexy and you know it.

Das Ideal ist nur perfekt, so lange man es nicht entdeckt.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

COURAGE IS CONTAGIOUS

IGNORANCE IS PANDEMIC

WORRYING SOLVES NOTHING

Everyday
is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Everyday
is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

Mein Schienbein hilft mir im Dunkeln Möbel zu finden.

Lime.

it's glowwine time!

Silence is better than bullshit.

I stay up late every night and realize it's a bad idea every morning.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose •

Apfelstrudel sind sogar für Nicht-schwimmer ungefährlich!

That awkward moment between preview and post.

S
R
I
A
T
S
P
U

WHO
DO WE
THINK
WE ARE?

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying

I need a day between Saturday and Sunday

Wenn du zerknittert aufwachst, kannst du dich den ganzen Tag über entfalten.

1000 boldness points

rechts unten

I’d rather live with a good question than a bad answer.

Silence is better than bullshit.

if were not meant to have a midnight snack, why is there a light in the fridge?

last but not lust

My level of maturity depends on who I'm with.

chances are, if you are reading this you are doing pretty well.

When nothing goes right, go left.

Why be defined by a place when can occupy space?

5

high

Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.

If you obey all the rules,
you'll miss all the fun.

There are three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it.

the world is falling

a p
a
r
t

I HATE EVERYONE

Life is more fun, when you have dirty minds

Go ahead. Ignore my post.

TOO
BOLD
TO FAIL

UNFUCKINGFASSBAR

_____
| |
|____|
| |
|____|

40 JAHRE PLAYBOY,
TEMPO SAGT DANKE!

THE GREATEST INSPIRATION
IS THE DEADLINE

Bold
hearted

Keep Calm and Love Music

Klatsch jemandem dein Buch ins Gesicht uns sag: Facebook

Mein Schienbein hilft mir im Dunkeln Möbel zu finden.

Säfte haben 12 Vitamine.

Na und??

Jägermeister hat 56 Kräuter!

Wir Kinder vom Dorf wissen wenigstens noch wie man Laternen austritt!

Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass

create your style, or fuck off!

Like Boldomatic?

Boost boldness and share a review on the App store!

Thanks.

Stay bold!

save water drink beer

ok lets go: my boldomatic debut

look at my cat, why can't I live like that

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My name is Bold.

James Bold.

Gobble.
Gobble.
Gobble.

Happy Thanksgiving

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Be
bloody
bold
and resolute.

bbb bbbb
b b b b
b b b
b b
b b
b b
b

You'll never be too old for BOLD.

32 years bold

if you meet a person without a smile... give him yours... that's BOLD-STYLE!

Chocolate is heaven.

Running out of it is hell.