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Posts Liked by valdesaa

Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers

50

When you come close to being
insane , insanity becomes your friend, now and then it wants to take you out for a coffee.

20

we are all fucked* up, some of us are just honest about it .

32

Never mistake someones unconditional love as unconditional tolerance..

21

just be you and if people don't like you tell them to fuck off

14

I'm not making any resolutions this year.

No one likes a skinny sober bitch anyway.

29

2 enormous important words: Fuck it!

2

i never make a misstake twice i make it five or six times to be sure

19

It takes nothing to follow the crowd.
It takes everything to stand alone.

19

Lots of people actually like talking with me.

18

I forgive people but that doesn't mean I accept their behaviour or trust them.
I forgive them for me, so I can let go and move on with my life.

35

If you think missing me is hard,
you should try missing
you

116

I love you
as certain
dark things are
to be loved,
in secret,
between
the shadow
and the soul.

106

Love is saying
"I know you're a fucking psycho manic but I'm willing to work
with that."

143

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

127

It takes just a little bit of you to make a lot of me

91

If sex, shots, or sleep can't solve it, you have a fucking problem.

182

I get far too little credit for all the things I don't say.

132

MAY
YOUR
CHOICES
REFLECT
YOUR
HOPES
NOT
YOUR
FEARS

155

Once I love you, I'll love you forever.

20

If you see me talking to myself, don't worry. I'm giving myself expert advice.

12

Some people make your laugh a little louder, your smile a little brighter and your life a little better.

23

not everyone likes me...

...but not everyone matters

16

four drinks and i'm using fuck like a comma.

28

My attitude is a result of your actions..
so if you don't like my attitude blame yourself •

26

Two people don't fall in love because they share the same bed. They fall in love because they share the same dreams.

20

Light is easy to love.

Show me your darkness.

175

It's okay.

My comebacks are as epic as my fuck-ups.

120

my degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity.

47

There are a Million Way's To Say " I Love You"

"Put Your Seatbelt on"
" Watch Your Step"
" Get Some Rest"

You Just Have To Listen

61

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life!

21

They're afraid of what you can do, when you do it. And you will, despite their attempts to delay...
They're afraid you are exactly who you say you are. Make peace with the side of the line they choose. And leave a bridge open, always. 'Cause that's what you do. They know that, too... • apa

22

Just because you are offended, it doesn't mean you are right.

36

It's socially acceptable to put someone else's genitals in your mouth, but eating a Dorito off the floor after a few seconds is gross.

26

I have 3 sides:

1. The quiet side
2. The fun and crazy side
3. The side you never want to see

30

I think my guardian angel drinks

45

everyone needs someone who can handle their darker sides

57

You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.

43

God promised man that good and obedient wives could be found in the corners of the earth...

then he made the world round and laughed and laughed and laughed.

18

Usually the ones who are patient with others are the ones who never had others be patient with them.

They are kind enough to spare the pain while they have suffered.

22

I think that stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills...

33

only trust some~one who can see these three things in you:
the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger and the reason behind your silence

36

First woman on the moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind."
What's the problem?
"Nothing."
Please tell us?
"I'm fine."

87

I wake up with a good attitude every day.

Then idiots happen.

42

Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

66

We're the best type of friends. We encourage each other to be more and more socially unacceptable.

37

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

181

I'm multitasking,

I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time

393

I'm not saying I did terrible things last night, but Satan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me...

245

you know something bad is about to happen when someone says "hold my beer and watch this"

26

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

It's easy to keep pretending that there's nothing wrong.
But it's harder to keep your head up and be fucking strong.

47

Life is like a Bollywood movie: colorful, humorous, and usually you have no idea what the fuck is going on.

289

Dear life,
When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

36

Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you
as if you are.

328

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says

"Hold my beer and watch this."

214

I always mean what I say.

I may not mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

23

What Susie says
of Sally
says more of Susie
than of Sally.

Remember that.

199

True friends don't judge each other, they judge others together....

21

I only said I was smart...

I never said I had my shit together.

26

Do not call me perfect,
a lie is never a compliment.
Call me an erratic
damaged and
insecure mess.
Then tell me that you
love me for it

25

we're all in the same game

just different levels

dealing with the same hell

just different devils

44

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

206

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.

10

patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting

26

My face may look all fucked up, but, I'm proud, it's the only one I have. And, for the most part, it attracts the best kind of people, too.

33

life should be more like hockey. when someone pisses you off, you just beat the shit out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.

97

$Math: the only place where you can buy 80 watermelons and nobody wonders why.$

12

If I died and went to hell it would probably take me a while to realize that I'm not at work anymore.

53

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

94

Always love a women for her personality.

They have like 10, so you can choose.

145

I hate it when the voices in my head go silent...

I never know what those fuckers are planning...

164

Chocolate
doesn't ask
silly questions..
chocolate understands •

51

i envy the cup of coffee that gets to kiss your sleepy lips awake every cold and bitter morning.

97

I'm having a fruit salad for dinner. Its mostly grapes. Actually, its all grapes. Fermented grapes. Okay, I'm having wine for dinner.

66

I ask myself the same question every morning:

Why did the aliens abandon me here?

Of all the places.

15

oh no, I'm not shy. my mom just told me if l have nothing nice to say it's better not to talk at all.

16

I miss the old me, the really old me, the one that used to give a shit.

22

i'm not crazy.

i prefer the term mentally hilarious.

42

When a man says you're ugly, he's just being mean. When a woman says you're ugly, she's just jealous. When a child says you're ugly, you're ugly.

139

When I grow older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you

12

Life is not like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today can burn your ass tomorrow.

28

"In life , we never loose friends, we only learn who the true ones are."

33

assumption is the mother of every fuck up

68

I know the voices aren't real but they have some great ideas

15

Jesus loves you.

Everyone else thinks you are an idiot.

16

Dear Life,
when I said,
'Can my day get any worse',
it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

86

[P]erson

[I]n

[M]anagement

[P]osition

45

Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.

2

People think I'm shy when I don't participate in conversations. Truth is I don't give a fuck what they're taking about

30

If someone
tells you that
you put too much Nutella on your bread, stop talking to them..
you don't need that negativity in your life •

31

Don't feel
bad if people remember you only when they need you..
feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness •

44

"Find what you love and let it kill you."

1

the number of "followers" you have doesn't make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.

3

When I was a boy, my mom would send me to a corner shop with 1$ and I'd bring back 2 leaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk, butter, cheese and some marmelade. You can't do that now... Too many fuckin' security cameras.

89

Vegan is just a funny word for eating disorder.

20

there are 5 types of fear

1. Terror
2. Panic
3. 14 missed calls from
mom
4. Username or
password is incorrect
5. We need to talk

26

Your emotions told me, you're a human.

17

you're not stupid. i just think you have bad luck when thinking.

26

"Need new haters, the old ones are starting to like me".

87

I am in my own little world but it's okay -

they know me here

23

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

170

Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid... I really thought you already knew...

22

I love it when someone insults me.
That means that
I don't have to be nice anymore.

53

Sometimes
you can learn more from watching
an idiot than
you can from listening to a genius •

30

I love
my friends..
they make
me happy and they're so crazy they make me feel normal •

35

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

197

everytime you speak, i can feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one

126

the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt, while the stupid people are full of confidence.

-Charles Bukowski

177

Sometimes it physically hurts me to hold back my sarcastic comments.

29

Do you
ever just
wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, "No one gives a fuck" •

46

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