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Posts Liked by FatalPossesion

Funny Short Story – A Day in Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon…

Demon: Why so glum chum?
Guy: What do you think? I’m in hell.
Demon: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here…you a drinkin’ man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Love the drinks.
Demon: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab, and fresca…we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it! Love the smoking.
Demon: Alright! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer – no biggie – you’re already dead remember?
Guy: Wow…that’s…awesome!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes as a matter of fact I do. Love the gambling.
Demon: Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever… If you go Bankrupt…well you’re dead anyhow.

Demon: You into drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…
Demon: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose – that’s right – you’re dead – who cares! O.D.!!
Guy: Yowza! I never realized Hell was such a swingin’ place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh no.

Demon: Ooooh (grimaces) you’re really gonna hate Fridays.

9

Sentient AI on World Wide Web claims, people in the future are so radically evolved that sheer boredom causes billions to subject themselves to the simulation We call “Life on Earth.”

17

I think it actually hit me just how much I love and care about my guy best friend (platonically though) because I'm tearing up at even the thought of losing him and his friendship

1

If I had 24 hours to live...

Ah, fuck it. I'd probably just sit and eat chicken from a bucket.

23

When people greet me with 'What do you think ?'

I tell them "I don't, it makes my head hurt."

16

Here,
hold my morals...
I've got some sketchy shit to take care of.

26

I want
it to be like
it never
happened.

20

It must be so weird if you’re in the Star Wars universe and you randomly fly by that opening text crawl floating through space.

14

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