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Posts Liked by jokkenordby

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

326

Well, if alcohol's the enemy, i sure am fighting it.

Every friday around 8 pm at the local bar.

2

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

409

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

105

"The eyes are the window to your soul."

- William -
Shakespeare

21

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