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Posts Liked by noelness

I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.

25

men use love to get sex. women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza

58

The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head anywhere she wants

27

That was funny.

But I don't like you. Therefore I shall not laugh.

73

Sex jokes are not funny. I mean cum on people.

152

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

789

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

723

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

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