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Posts Liked by ursinio

I TRY TO BE A
NICE PERSON...
BUT SOMETIMES
MY MOUTH
DOESN'T
COOPERATE.

219

I'm not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.

167

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

127

you remind me of a software update, whenever i see you i think
"not now!"

140

The internet is both my best friend and my worst enemy.

82

Out of all of my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.

107

Sitting in a bar having drinks with a friend...
I casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said " That's us in ten years".

He said "That's a mirror, dipshit!"

108

I'm single and I want a divorce.

102

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