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My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car saying: " I know what you did"

Yeah, you're pretty from a distance...
at night... under a rock.

Someone told me I'm immature.

Guess whose not allowed in my tree house?

-Police: 'Knock Knock'
-Me: Who is it?
-Police: It's the Police!
-Me: What do you want?
-P: We just wanna talk.
-M: How many of you are there?
-P: 2
-M: Then Talk to each other

$, , , , , # # # # # _#_#_#_#_#_ { _ ` ` ` ` ` _ } _ { _._ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ } _ { _ H A P P Y _ } _ { _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ } _ { _ B I R T H D A Y _ } . - - -{ _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ . _ }- - - . ( ` " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " ` ) ` ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `$

The downside to having a good sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself, is that people think you can't be hurt.

TREAT ME LIKE A JOKE, AND I'LL LEAVE YOU LIKE IT'S FUNNY.....

YESTERDAY
I REALLY WANTED A BURRITO.
TODAY I AM EATING A BURRITO.
FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING DREAMS.

ain't it funny that someday i'll be a couple of photos you forgot to delete

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!

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