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Having a bad day, I figured I'd pee on a pregnancy test just for some good news.

59

As long as there is wine, there is hope.

38

I lost
him at...

"So,
do you
Bold?"

23

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, you have boobs.

31

How is the "we've ended war in Iraq"-thing going?

24

The sweetness
never lasts,
you know.

12

Noticing you've put your pants on inside out, but it's Monday, and the inclination to turn them the right way, isn't there.

22

All
revved
up
with
no
place
to
go

17

I'm just like one of your dudes but better because vagina.

20

I wish I was
rich enough to successfully
boycott Dolce
and Gabbana

17

A pool table is like a woman.
I have one in my basement.

16

No it's fine, I love spending two hours on the bus.

The coughing, hacking, the smells of different people? The danger of someone smashing up the doors or that a baby will start screaming for the whole trip? My most favourite part of the day.

12

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