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Money may not buy you love, but maybe a furnished flat can get you a reasonable simulation.

15

'How's your love life?'

'Love life' may be a rather grandiose term for staring at women on the bus.

13

Sperm is like lending someone less than a fiver; you can't really ask for it back.

10

'The only thing to fear is fear itself'

Oh, really? What about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or being mistakenly outed as a paedo? Or alzheimers? Or all these things plus you're drowning?

9

Frosties are just cornflakes for people who can't face reality.

8

This crack is really moreish.

7

So, a candle in a wine bottle apparently doesn't cut it anymore.

Now for a special night you have to have class A drugs ... and fisting.

3

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