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This is my house,
I have to defend it.

17

If you need
somebody to
trust, it can
be me.
I won't forget
to remember
you.

15

I wouldn't let you sleep in my room, if you were growing on my ass.

12

When your 13 year old brother is coming home with makeup on his collar

And you can't get a date

9

This is my house, I have to defend it.

8

Screw getting an alarm system. I've seen Home Alone, I know what to do.

7

I'm home alone now.
And it's soon to be christmas.
I like where this is going...

6

Mass
Debating

6

"Hey, mommy! I just made some Omurice, and there's a little left for you! Don't you think those boring parties are overrated? Come on home and watch Big Hero 6 with me insted!"
"..."
"It's dark outside and I'm all alone and there's these funny noises upstairs, please come save me"

6

what's the best remedy for when you're feeling hella queasy?

5

A lot of things can go wrong when you're home alone,

like taking a dump with the door closed.

3

This is my home-alone day. This far, I've:

•Learned mean words in Swahili
•Fingerpainted a box for shoes
•Invented a new tea with nutella and chocolate

Now I think I'll go plant some avocados.

2

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