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Supreme court is like regular court but with a slice of bacon.

17

When I was young, I always wanted to be a super hero.
Now I just wanna be the super villain.

13

I know my spelling sucks...

But I'm still proud of it anyway.

Autocorrect can't stop the power of my horrible spelling!!!

11

I made an imaginary button on my grandsons forehead to shut his mouth off for a minute and it works

11

You turned the page,
I burned the book.

11

Some people say, "Who cares about heaven?"...
Some people say, "Why strain for refinement?"...
Of course...
No One is required...
To Make an Effort in Life...
We can all go the Easy Way...
But then...
We are still Lightning Rods...
Only the Forces we Attract...
are Not The Powers...
Of Heaven...
but the powers...
of Demons...Misfortune...and Predators...

10

There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.

6

Oh No!
He Died, How Sad!
R.I.P
Minnie Me
Verne Troyer

4

If you cannot improve with a sense of decency, you are no better than those who haven't any.

7

If you are trying to prove to the world you are absolute and almighty,
you could kill all of Gods Chosen People.

6

The most surpising thing
is how easy it is to have
Superpowers when you
stop wasting all that
energy pretending you
don't

5

Who the hell create a film like Austin Powers?

4

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