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29

*pulls away from kissing*

"I wish you weren't a bottle of beer."

15

Q: what do you call that extra bit of flesh around a pussy?

A: a woman

7

e-goal

7

Update: When I ordered my drink after work, the girl I like wrote a heart on my cup.

8

ok folks update on the fraud with my accounts....

HELP!

OMG HOW IS THIS ALL HAPPENING AND TO ME

I KNOW LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS FAIR BUT THIS IS SO NOT FAIR.

9

The object of golf
is to play the least
amount of golf

6

Best original score goes to:

The Grand Budapest Hotel -
Alexandre Desplat

5

I want my teaamates and friends to react to me scoring like the bench of NBA basketball teams

It's cool seeing that your squad is your support base and your greatest encouragement comes not just from fans but from personal friends, the coach and the staff

5

I've heard girls say they want "Tall, Dark & Handsome"

I've also heard 100% is a fairly good score

2

Playing basketball is like getting old, you dribble, you travel occasionally, and every once in awhile, you score.

2

If you are going through life chained to a scorecard, you are going to be sorely disappointed in the outcome. I guarantee it!

1

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