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What if, instead of going to war, we all just went to bed early,
for once?

29

Before Facebook,
I still didn't give a fuck if you had a Quiche for dinner.

18

Christmas shopping is the exam of anger management class.

12

When you feel powerless, worthless and unworthy, just remember, one single turd of yours can shut down an entire waterpark.

9

Dear Turd

All of the botox, breast enhancements, tummy tucks, vaginal rejuvenations, personal chefs and fitness trainers cannot change what you are on the inside: complete shit!

7

I don't know why but i always add "or something" to the end of my sentence when i say an idea...

...and i guess to some people that literally means anything...

6

we've always been given a choice to vote between a douche and a turd! Turd wins and thats democracy in action

6

"Turd nugget" is a term of endearment I utilize with my kids. You are only allowed to be offended if you identify yourself as a piece of shit!

6

They are massive turds,
Must be from a massive dog,
Or a massive arse.

5

Why do people look forward to Saturday?

There is a big turd right in the middle of it.

4

Summers sweet embrace,
Raindrops fall, refreshing earth,
Washing away turds.

3

In summer's swelter,
Turds lie baking in the sun,
Yearning for rain's touch,
Cleansing droplets from above,
Refreshing the aroma.

3

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