DBadLeprechaun's Posts

WANTED:

EVIL GENIUS seeks minions to sacrifice their lives in world domination attempt. Must be prepared to work 24-7 for fascist psychopath for no pay. Messy death inevitable but costumes and laser/death rays are provided. NO WEIRDOS. Call 1-800- MUHU-HAHA.

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

#Jobs

Krisargent likes this

You're so ridiculous, Calling you an Ass would be an insult to Donkeys!!

#Insults, #LoLWut?, #Fool

GreatSmile likes this

reposted by siouxz

$It turns out that I Have to be Funny ... ... You see, being Hot is not an Option. ...{-_-}...$

#Truths

buzzielizzy, Fionacatherine, Petronius and beingme like this

reposted by siouxz

Are
some
people
allowed
to apply
for their
very own
Zip-code?

#ThinkingOutLoud

beingme likes this

OMG...don't be so Selfish .... you're going to have that Body for the rest of your Life......I only want it for One Night.

#ThinkingOutLoud

schnudelhupf, karlokoenig, JMBis, sirskitten1, MyM, Campo, siouxz, Sentinel, jmb, comanzatara and 1 other like this

reposted by sirskitten1

GOD IS LOVE
...
but SATAN does that Thing with his Tongue

#ThinkingOutLoud

comanzatara likes this

#ThinkingOutLoud

beingme and petegutz2 like this

#ThinkingOutLoud

beingme likes this

thinking
outloud
doesn't
have to
be words

#ThinkingOutLoud

Krisargent likes this

I often talk amongst myself, doesn't everyone!?

#ThinkingOutLoud

Is it a good, or bad, thing to lose an argument with yourself!?

#ThinkingOutLoud

#ThinkingOutLoud

Krisargent likes this

#ThinkingOutLoud

There's a limit to everyone's
patience...

...Even Yours.

#NoteToSelf

InfluenceNoise and CityCharacter like this

$They Will Never Understand. ...{-_-}...$

#NoteToSelf

InfluenceNoise and CityCharacter like this

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent and CityCharacter like this

Daily Chores:-

milk the dog,
recycle the floors,
freeze the dinner,
bleach the plants,
walk the cow,
brush the newspapers,
water the toilets,
cook the ice-cream,

#NoteToSelf

swatchUSA likes this

things that
have been
in the
freezer will
be cold

#NoteToSelf

CityCharacter likes this

#NoteToSelf

comanzatara and CityCharacter like this

only
one
original
odious
occurrence
ordered

#NoteToSelf

Not all people are truthful...

...Be honest anyway.

Not all people will be respectful...

...Be respectful to them anyway.

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent likes this

•
Why, when we were watering weeds; would we wait, while we wondered whether willing well-wishers were working with Westminster's Warrior Workforce.!?.
•

#NoteToSelf, #Alliteration, #Ponderings

beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

•
Find
Wedding-ring Before she
Finds out.
•

#NoteToSelf

beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent, swatchUSA, beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent, beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent and InfluenceNoise like this

#NoteToSelf

InfluenceNoise likes this

#NoteToSelf

InfluenceNoise and beingme like this

#NoteToSelf

Krisargent, InfluenceNoise and beingme like this

#vodka

•
Straight-up,
with a slice
of fresh lime.
•

#vodka

beingme and InfluenceNoise like this

#vodka

I want you to know that somebody cares about you...

...not me; but someone else, probably does.

#vodka

InfluenceNoise and Petronius like this

Win! Win! Win! Win!

Place
your
bets...

Losers All-round!!!

#fool

A fool and his money are soon parted.

-Proverb.

#fool

$F L O o L . \_____/ Monkey see, Monkey do Fool fools, foolish follow.$

Reposted from anonymous

InfluenceNoise likes this

I asked a preacher why he was always asking for money, seeing as a supreme god shouldn't need money...

...He said it was because
"Jesus Saves".

#fool

$I've asked my toddler nephew to say "please" and "thank you" something like a billion times, and he won't Ever say it... ...I say, “Arse-faced Mother Fucker!” just ONCE ... {>_<}$

#fool

Hodir likes this

You know what they call a Boomerang that Doesn't come Back!? ...

... still a Boomerang; you're just throwing it wrong you Dink.

#fool

I had a Job Interview at FEMA today ...

... I showed up 4 hours late with a case of Bottled Water ...

... they hired me on the Spot.

#fool

#fool

GreatSmile and comanzatara like this

#fool

GreatSmile likes this

Ahm not going on no damned aeroplane; Fool!!!

#fool, #MrT, #ATeam, #BABaracus

GreatSmile likes this

#fool

GreatSmile likes this

Look I'm not a Qualified Sex Therapist...

...but I think you just need to
Go Screw Yourself.

#fool

Fool me once, shame on you...

...but teach a man to fool me and I could be fooled for life.

#fool

$No, I didn't ask about your day; and I'll thank you for respecting my total lack of interest in your life. ...{•_-}...$

#fool

GreatSmile likes this

The most Important Lesson in Life I learned in Nursery...

...if you Poop your Pants; they let you go Home Early!!!!!!

#fool

beingme likes this

#fool

#fool

Campo likes this

The fool who thinks he is a fool is for that very reason a wise man; But the fool who thinks he is a wise man is rightly called a fool.

-Dhammapada 63

#fool, #DhammapadaQuotes

Petronius likes this

#fool

My girlfriend says that I only have two faults...

...I don't listen, and something else.

#whatwasithinking, @MyM.

Fabriciuz, Fionacatherine, jmb, guggigirl, shankarrkn, perellano, HRK, MyM, Campo, BiteSenior and 18 others like this

reposted by prubton, Boldomatic and scc38

I hate starting TV Shows part-way through...

...where can I find episode 1, season 1; of “The News”!?

#whatwasithinking

prubton and Petronius like this

Me being rude: Shut the Fuck-up!!

Me being polite: Please Shut the Fuck up!!

_

#fuckit

prubton, GreatSmile and Petronius like this

$Remember when I asked for your opinion!? Yeah, neither do I! __{-_-}__$

#fuckit

comanzatara, GreatSmile and Petronius like this

#yoga, #?????

prubton and Campo like this

#nonsense

It's simple...

I am not to blame; it's the Scotch.

#naked

LightYears, Petronius, Campo and GreatSmile like this

without a soul which has been torn asunder, thou art naught but naked naïviety

#naked

GreatSmile likes this

Quick,
look as
she runs
by, she's
blimmin'
starkers!

#naked

GreatSmile likes this

#naked

prubton and GreatSmile like this

#naked

her stare bore through me, like a chainsaw, leaving me feel naked.

#naked

#naked

GreatSmile likes this

DUCT TAPE :-
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Stupidity will never be totally silenced...

...but you can muffle the sound.

#yes

buzzielizzy, comanzatara, prubton and Petronius like this

#yes

If I were a
horse, I'd say “Yay!”;
not “Nay!”

#yes, #LoLWut

#yes

prubton likes this

$My answer is the opposite of “No!”. ...{ •_•}... ...{•_• }...$

#yes, #srsly

I went to the doctor, and he said "Don't eat anything fatty."...

..."No fatty foods at all!?" I asked...

..."No, Fatty;" he replied, "I said don't eat anything."

prubton likes this

just
because
you're
not
irritating,
that
doesn't
mean
that
i'm
moody.

#mood

Krisargent likes this

#mood

#mood

Petronius likes this

To change your mood, choose a different groove.

#mood

Krisargent and comanzatara like this

$If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone... ...come and sit by me, and we can make fun of them together. ...{ >_• }...$

#mood

Authlander likes this

#mood

petegutz2 likes this

#Mood

#Mood

Out of all the things I've lost; I miss my mind the most.

#darkhumour, #quotes, #OzzyOsbourne, #rock, #life, #LoLwut, #Mood

prubton likes this

$I wanted to go for a horse ride, today... ...but I couldn't find my coconut halves. _...{-_o}..._$

#MontyPython, #jokes

comanzatara and prubton like this

I wonder if Minnie...

...uses Mousepads...

...when she's on her Period???

@Fionacatherine

Hodir, prubton, Fionacatherine, FrankFilocamo, jmb and petegutz2 like this

$I Do NoT have a screw loose... ...it fell out!!!!! ~{^_-}~$

#natural

Hodir and swatchUSA like this

$I feel bad for French speaking people who are allergic to Wheat... ...I mean, it must be so, so hard doing maths, when you aren't able to count past seven. {•_-}$

#jokes, #LoLwut?

FrankFilocamo and jaybyrd like this

$There are some Rabbit-Holes, absolutely No one should Ever go down... ...just trust me on this one, there's things you don't need to know, and I don't want to repeat... ...to put it another way; What's the opposite of "Epically Good"!?... ...Yeah!! That bad, and worse!! ...{-_-} ...$

#Internet, #horrorstories, #reallife

FrankFilocamo likes this

I dated a Supermodel, once...

...Well,technically, the whole word is "sedated", but still...

#jokes

FrankFilocamo likes this

...I let my parents out of their cage, this weekend...

...I just feel safer when they're in there...

...Ach, don't worry; I'm just kidding...

...I have absolutely no idea Who they are.

#Jokes

Krisargent, FrankFilocamo and Petronius like this

I've always dreamed of having a Penis as long and as wide as a 2 litre Bottle of Orange Soda...

...Fanta Sized, Actually.

Petronius likes this

$For Gawds Sake, Stop Drinking Almond Milk!! ...it's for Baby Almonds; Not Humans!! {-_-}$

#Food

Krisargent, comanzatara, ChrisRota, prubton, Petronius and FrankFilocamo like this

reposted by prubton

“Man is the lowest-cost, 150-pound, non-linear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor”

-Excerpt from a NASA report [1965]-

#memories

FrankFilocamo and Petronius like this

____________________________________
I was desperate, so I went into a shop the other day, to use the toilet in there for a "Number Two"...

...After only a couple of seconds the manager walked right in to the toilet area, literally grabbed hold of me, and dragged me out into the street with my trousers still around my ankles...

...They can expect No more business from me, in That bathroom shop!!!!!!

#memories

FrankFilocamo and ForeverActive like this

I'm still waiting for "Mythbusters" to test out the saying:-

«Never Trust a Thin Chef»

#Memories

Petronius likes this

#BestEver, #5wordstory

#5WordStory

Fionacatherine likes this

#5WordStory

Fionacatherine likes this

True Truths are an inescapable fact of life.

There is nothing more powerful than the hate one human harbours against another

Fionacatherine likes this

Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't such a cynic...

...and then I snigger, to myself, and say, "Yeah, right, as-if!!!".

#5WordStory, #Life

#5WordStory

All it took for it to happen, was 5 little words...

#5WordStory

The 5 words set-out together, expecting an adventure...

#5WordStory

Krisargent likes this

#5WordStory

#5WordStory

#5WordStory

#5WordStory

#5WordStory

_________________
Lack
in
Grammar
Skills
are
Embarrassment

#5WordStory

#5WordStory

To the woman working her way around Sainsbury's, with the six screaming kids :-
¶
If you're wondering how that pack of condoms got into your trolley; you're welcome.

#5wordstory, #jokes

OMG, cut it out ... If you are Over 30 they are not called "Haters" anymore ... they are called "People who are tired of putting up with your Shit!"

#5wordstory

I won't even Bend Over and pick up the Soap in my OWN Shower ... ... I'm kind of Sketchy!

#Toast

ajsmom and FrankFilocamo like this

OMFG... ...my Neighbour has been Banging on my door for over an hour... ...does she Really think I'm just going to let her Leave?

#Jokes, #Toast

siouxz and FrankFilocamo like this

I have words...

...I have big words.
-D. J. Trump-

#Toast

FrankFilocamo likes this

I can resist anything, except temptation.

-Oscar Wilde-

#toast, #quotes

FrankFilocamo and Fionacatherine like this

To confuse predators, leaf insects walk with a back and forth rocking motion to mimic a real leaf being blown by the wind.

#Animals, #Facts, #Toast, #Nature

FrankFilocamo likes this

I had to tell her that there is no such thing as a "Valentine's Day Santa" ... ... she looks me square in the eyes and says, "Then Who's lap was I Sitting On at the Mall?!!"

#Valentines, #Day, #Jokes, #LoLwut?, #Toast

FrankFilocamo likes this

I gave Blood, today...

...you might be thinking that's not the most Romantic thing anyone's ever given someone for Valentine's Day...

...but she did say she wanted something from the Heart.

#Toast, #Valentine, #Jokes

FrankFilocamo likes this

She almost squealed with anticipation, as he held it, tantalisingly, in-front of her...

...As he pushed it hard, to her pursed lips; she felt the first taste touch her tongue, and an almost sensual moan of pleasure escaped from her soft lips...

...(._. )...(._.)...( ._.)...

...Grandma Absolutely loved a Werther's Original.

(-_-)

#Jokes, #Toast

FrankFilocamo likes this

Me at 13 yrs old:-
I don't need alcohol and drugs to have fun with my friends.

Me at this age:-
I don't need friends to have fun with my drugs and alcohol.

#Toast, #Jokes, #Life, #EmbraceNihilism

FrankFilocamo likes this

I'm so Unpopular I couldn't even get Invited to a Search Party ... ... which was kind of Dumb ... ... seeing as I'm the only one who actually knows where she is. [-_-]

#Jokes

FrankFilocamo likes this

#Toast

jaybyrd likes this

Croutons are just fancified little pieces of...

#Toast

#Toast

Wow, I'm so hot, I feel like I'm a piece of...

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

___________
What do you mean there's no Beans!!??

#Toast

_____________
Wishing
You
Many
Happy
Returns

#Toast, #Birthdays

I'd like to wish the Bride and Groom, all of the best luck in the World...

#Toast

#Toast

#Toast

What if you go back to the bushel, that you hid your light under all those years ago, only to find it's gone out?

#Toast

Krisargent likes this

I'm so old,
I remember when vodka only came in vodka-flavour
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
----------------

#FirstHome

#FirstHome

#FirstHome

FrankFilocamo likes this

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
________________________________________

One lane, either way.

#FirstHome

Krisargent and FrankFilocamo like this

Seeing as 85-90%
of Society is a lie,
I'm actually
rather glad that
I'm often thought
of as "Anti-social"
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
--------------------

#FirstHome

FrankFilocamo likes this

i just told this guy talking on his phone for ages, in the library, to shut-the-fuck-up...

...instantly, everyone else there began to applaud me...

...so i told all them to shut-the-fuck-up too.

#firsthome

The missus, and I, have just finished watching "Pretty Woman"...

...She said she wished she was just like Julia Roberts's character...

...So I'm now taking her to the Red Light District.

#firsthome

Guys: Be very wary of trying to marry an apparent nymphomaniac...

...as soon as you do, the nympho disappears; but the maniac stays.

#FirstHome

Petronius likes this

In the News today, I read that a local barber, in my area, was arrested for selling drugs...

...Hearing this totally blew my mind, I've been his customer for years...

...I had had absolutely no idea that he was a barber.

#News, #Jokes

jaybyrd likes this

reposted by siouxz

I bet the persom that named the eggplant isn't allowed to name things anymore...

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

Krisargent, FrankFilocamo, siouxz and KnightofSIAL like this

#Boldomatic, #Rituals, #upsidedown

Krisargent, siouxz and FrankFilocamo like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

Fed-up of paying around £30 per month, and only getting to the gym four or five times!?

...

Then why not join our new pay-as-you-go scheme, at only £10 per session!?

#rituals

FrankFilocamo likes this

$To find out more about how to avoid Internet Scamsters: DM me your Name, Credit\Debit Card Number, & PIN code, and I'll then reply to you with all the information I have on them.$

#rituals, #jokes

Krisargent and jaybyrd like this

Repeating tasks day
to day, sequencing our lives;
sorting them into file.

#rituals

Krisargent and Petronius like this

"Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the life-long attempt to acquire it."

-- Albert Einstein

#rituals, #quotes

Krisargent and Petronius like this

Sleep Eat Work Eat Sleep Eat Work Eat Sleep Eat Work Eat Sleep Eat Work Eat Sleep Eat Work Eat Sleep Eat Play Drink Sleep Drink Play Eat

#week, #rituals

Petronius likes this

To be fair, I don't have a clue what the answer is; or if there even is a valid solution.
The biggest curse, of the Human Condition, is the wanton greed that is inherent within us all...

...Well, many of us anyway.

#rituals

Petronius likes this

a ritual's funny thing;
some insist that you dance & sing.

but where e'r you go,
you should always know,

that most are purely perfunctory.

#rituals, #poem

Krisargent likes this

#rituals

#rituals

#rituals

#rituals

I always wanted to be raised by wolves; but being adopted by one, at this age, would also be cool.

#rituals

Krisargent likes this

#rituals

#rituals

#rituals

Regular
Independent
Techniques
Under
A
Logician

#rituals

A
Number
2
Per day
Keeps
One's bowels
Clean and free

#rituals

janem803 likes this

Really
Interesting
Trees
Under
Arboretum
Lagging

#Rituals

Regular
Individual
Takings
Under
All
Lawmen

#ritual

cORRECTLY
uSING
cAPITALISATION
iS
mORE
tHAN
jUST
a
rITUAL

#rituals

Krisargent likes this

#rituals

SEX POEM

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggystyle & 69
Just for fun or getting paid
Everyone likes getting laid

Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in

Roses are nice
Violets are fine
I'll be the six
If you be the nine

Reposted from Bettydent

FrankFilocamo likes this

Life Hack #683128:

Turn a regular sofa into a sofa-bed, just by forgetting your wife's birthday.

#lifehacks, #jokes

FrankFilocamo likes this

#blue

Krisargent and FrankFilocamo like this

reposted by Krisargent

#blue

FrankFilocamo, peterpiper and KnightofSIAL like this

What's not blue, but you think it should be!?

#blue

#Blue

FrankFilocamo, eulekauzig and KnightofSIAL like this

Is there not one shred of decency left, in this town, at-All!?
'-o-'

#Blue

Your eyes look cold;
Your nose looks blue,
And I suspect, there's not a lot;
You can do,
With Peter a lone one too.

#blue, #poem

...purple and orange and blue...

...i can sing a rainbow...

...sing a rainbow...

...sing a rainbow, too!

#blue

Krisargent likes this

an octopus has 3 hearts, 9 brains, and blue blood

#blue

Krisargent likes this

will
wendy
walk
westwards
while
wearing
well-worn
wellingtons?

Krisargent likes this

•
There was no "Big Bang", only "The Word".

•
Was the word, "Ka-boom"?

#Blue, #SheldonCooper, #Quotes

Apparently I didn't correctly grasp the term "Strip Mall"
...
Now I need Bail Money

#blue

#blue

#blue

Notice:
You
Are
Currently
Reading
A
Notice

#blue

Krisargent likes this

Feeling blue!?
why not try touching yellow, or red, instead --They're much warmer colours.

#blue

Krisargent likes this

customers
who
complain
will be shot
without any
pre-warning

#blue

Thinking about proposing a new law that says it is Legal to Taser Anyone who says;

"Everything Happens For A Reason."

#blue

I gave you too much credit, for being Intelligent...

...I think I'm gonna need to get a Refund.

#blue

#blue

CityCharacter likes this

CityCharacter likes this

What's the word which metephorically conveys sadness?

#blue

Krisargent likes this

why, when they're cold, do things go blue!? x_x

#blue

CityCharacter likes this

#blue

#blue

I said 'blue',
I don't get
what's so
difficult to
get right.
BBLLUUEE!!

#BLUE

#blue

#blue

#blue

there
ain't
nowt
so
blue
as
a
lonely
shoe

#blue

#blue

#blue

If yerz
carries
on, I'll
tan yer
hide
black 'n'
blue

#blue, #memories

#blue

#blue

#blue

swatchUSA likes this

#Blue, #Blow

#blue

#blew, #blue

#blue

swatchUSA likes this

#blue

feeling down & blue?
try alcohol
(but not too much, else it'll make you feel worser)

#blue, #advice

blue?
lose
underrated
estimations
-_-_-_-_-_-_-

#blue

There is no blue without yellow and without orange.

-Vincent van Gogh-

#blue

Krisargent and swatchUSA like this

I love the ocean. I've always liked the blue, so tranquil and peaceful and gliding. And the fear of it.

-Siouxsie Sioux

#blue, #quotes

No water, no life.
no blue, no green.
-Sylvia Earle

#blue, #quotes

Good things are associated with blue, like clear days, more than singing the blues. Just the word 'blue' in the singular is full of optimism and positive connotation to most people.

-David Carson

#blue, #quotes

roses are red...
violets are blue...
i'm schizophrenic,
and so am i

-Oscar Levant

#blue, #quotes

#blue

#blue

#blue

#blue

#blue

Krisargent likes this

#blue

Krisargent likes this

#blew, #blue

If I only sing one sad song, is that a Singular Blue!?

#blue

#blue

swatchUSA likes this

#Blue

how many times will it take, writing "blue", before it looks spelt wrong?

#blue

#blue

#blue

#blue

Would you mind passing the bluing-solution to me

#blue, #fabrics

#blue

#blue

#blue, #food

#blue

#blue

#Blue

#blue

#blue, #eulb

#blue

#blue

Blue is the longest wavelength of light.
Red is the shortest.

#blue

Krisargent likes this

#blue

blue
blu?/

adjective
1.
of a colour intermediate between green and violet, as of the sky or sea on a sunny day.
"the clear blue sky" or "she had bright blue eyes"

2.
informal
(of a person or mood) melancholy, sad, or depressed.
"he's feeling blue" or "Dad had died that year and Mum was feeling a bit blue"

#blue

#blue

#Blue

Despite all Evidence to the Contrary
...
My Life is Based on a True Story

Women are like fine bottles of wine...

...they need to be tended to carefully...

...and given time to mature...

...which is why I always keep a few in the cellar...

#jokes, #punk

peterpiper likes this

Uhm, how do we know all the Greek statues aren't just victims of Medusa?

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

#history, #jokes

ChrisRota, CityCharacter, shanncy and KnightofSIAL like this

When somebody asks how you're doing and your whole body hurts, the world sucks, you're scared for no reason, confused, tired of everyone's BS, and you just want to go to bed but you smile and tell them you're good because you just don't feel like talking about anything to anyone

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

CityCharacter likes this

I'm thinking the only reason people get lost in thought anymore is because it's unfamiliar territory

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

#truestory, #jokes, #forrealtho, #lol

ChrisRota and KnightofSIAL like this

There are some days where the only thing keeping me from throwing in the towel is that it would just create more laundry.

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

CityCharacter and shanncy like this

My goal in life is to piss off at least one person a day.

So far I'm about 12 years ahead of schedule

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

I was worried about the side effects of taking Ambien so I asked my doctor. He wanted to know why I was in his fridge at 3 in the morning.

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

#jokes

Do you ever just look at someone and "Why?" is the only thing you can come up with?

Reposted from Sasquatchprime

#schmucks, #life

Crepes are just pancakes with an eating disorder.

Reposted from anonymous

#jokes, #food, #disorders

How in the Bleepedy-bleep is "Love" still alive; when it's dumb, deaf, blind AND stupid, all at the same time!!??

#riddles, #jokes, #punk, #quotes, #plagiarism, #LoLwut!?

$*********Ultra-Special Offer********* Get this Diamond encrusted, 18 carat-gold watch for absolutely FREE [Just pay same-day secure-shipping at £79.99]... ...When you buy £500 worth of other items. (-_-) [-_-] {-_-} <-_-> «-_-» ¦-_-¦$

#StopTheMadness, #StopLying, #commercialism

What do you mean, "Why have I brought a sledgehammer to your party?"; didn't you say you were having a bit of a bash, here, tonight??

#punk, #puns, #LoLWut!?, #jokes&riddles

peterpiper likes this

#punk

@bold, @Boldomatic

Krisargent, ChrisRota, FrankFilocamo, ForeverActive and atheist like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

«
I was asleep, and
then I saw the guy on
YouTube explaining
the Illuminati truths,
and I became “woke”
»

-_- -_- -_- -_- -_-

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

plying
anarchy
to our
streets
is the
only way
to get
through
PUNK
LIVES

-unknown protestor

#punk

FrankFilocamo, ForeverActive and atheist like this

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

Perhaps you're not quite as think as you punk you are!!??

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

#punk

ForeverActive likes this

#punk, #newpunk, #knupunk

ForeverActive likes this

#punk

pleasing
ungratefuls
undermines
Karihininism

#punK

#punk

#punk

#punk

#punk

#punk

#punk, #LoLWut!?

My girlfriend texted me asking me to Please be Naked when she comes home from work...

...I feel pretty Awkward sitting here with her Mum, who came over to surprise her...

...but Whatever...

The very first part of the human foetus, to grow, is the arsehole; this means, at one point in their lives, Everyone is an Arsehole...

...Unfortunately, some people never develop beyond this stage.

#life, #facts, #science, #jokes, #LoLWut!?

I am what I am; and what I am needs no excuses...

I used to think the saying was, "For Fox Sake!"...

...and I'd go round thinking,
"Why's everyone mad at the Fox!? What did it do to upset them so much!?"

#sayings, #animals, #mistakes, #LoLwut, #jokes

InfluenceNoise likes this

Flat Earthers be like:

"Conservation of Momentum and Gravity!?

Don't be ridiculous, thems doesn't be existing."

Petronius likes this

People falling into rivers and ponds:

Water Laugh.

#puns

@acronyms

janem803, FrankFilocamo, KnightofSIAL and InfluenceNoise like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

How can Anyone find happiness in the bottom of a bottle!?...

...Wwho likes an empty bottle, eh!?

#badquotes

KnightofSIAL, Petronius and InfluenceNoise like this

Fed up of your earphones dropping out!?...

... Why not try slathering superglue on the earbuds, first?!

#jokes, #advice

KnightofSIAL, Fionacatherine and InfluenceNoise like this

Aim for the moon, then if you miss you'll be amongst the stars, anyway...

...and hundreds of lightyears away from me with your sanctimonious, optimistic bull-shit.

#punk, #quotestoliveby, #anon

InfluenceNoise likes this

bikes
chained
here will be
removed and sold
---------------------
sales and placings
there won't be
unlocked
motors

#LoLwut

Maybe it's not Low Self Esteem ... ... ...

... ... ... maybe it's because everyone IS better than You.

#punk

ChrisRota, dor1316, Fionacatherine, CityCharacter and Petronius like this

Punk, by any other name would sound as sweet.

•Billy [who] Spear-shakes.

#punk

InfluenceNoise likes this

#punk

InfluenceNoise likes this

#punk

•[]• To the tune of:
"Row, row, row your boat" •[]•

Roll, roll, roll a joint,
Pack it full of weed,
Then sit back, ready to take a toke,
That is almost all you need...

Roll, roll, roll the roach,
One of them, you're gonna need,
It separates out the weed and smoke,
And stops you swallowing seeds...

#punk

InfluenceNoise and CityCharacter like this

How I sometimes get free food. Decide where you want to eat, find a receipt from there while using their restroom during their busy lunch hour, call the restaurant and make a false complaint, when they say to go back, tell them you have no time right now but can go after work...

...Dinner is served, yum.

#quote, #punk, #anon

My girlfriend has got a tattoo of a seashell on the inside of her thigh...

...if you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean.

#tattoos, #loveandromance, #Love, #Punk, #LoLWut!?, #TrueStory, #Jokes

prubton, perellano, Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise and Petronius like this

Fingerbanging 101:-

1.
Pretend you're getting the last olive out of a jar.

2.
Don't forget to tell the jar that she's beautiful.

#Punk, #Love, #Sex, #LifeLessons, #Jokes

perellano likes this

$#include <stdio.h> main( ) { printf("hello, world\n"); } -The first ever program, written in the Programming Language 'C'. :-[]-: Output :-[]-: hello, world$