GeneratedName's Posts

If it moves, fuck it,
if it doesn't move,
fuck it 'til it does!

Let's do yoga outside so I can smoke.

Reposted from PennyLame

karlokoenig likes this

ROHR
OHR
ZUCKER

Reposted from campino

campino likes this

Irgendwann gibt es eine Weltmeisterschaft in „Tüte schneller packen als Kassierer/in kassiert“ und ich werde in der Disziplin „Kurzkasse bis 50 cm Auslauffläche“ mit meinem Specialmove „zu wiegendes Gemüse - strategisch eingesetzt!“ gewinnen. Menschen jubeln, Konfetti, Paraden!

Reposted from T.witterperlen

comanzatara and karlokoenig like this

Nude-
lauf-
lauf

Scheiß automatische Silbentrennung!

Reposted from KnightofSIAL

KnightofSIAL and karlokoenig like this

"Der badet gerade."

Weshalb die Kollegen ihr Telefon nicht mehr auf mich umleiten.

Reposted from KnightofSIAL

KnightofSIAL, comanzatara and karlokoenig like this

Immer, wenn du ein halbes Hähnchen isst, teilst du dein Essen mit einem geheimnisvollen Fremden.

Reposted from KnightofSIAL

comanzatara likes this

Wissenschaftler haben herausgefunden, dass einer von drei Nazis genauso dumm ist wie die anderen beiden.

Reposted from Loupi4614

Loupi4614, comanzatara and karlokoenig like this

REARRANGE THESE LETTERS TO FORM WORDS.

1 PNEIS.
2 BUTTSXE.

DID YOU GET *SPINE AND *SUBTEXT*???

YEAH! NEITHER DID I .

Reposted from juneocallagh

InfluenceNoise and wookie like this

La Vie en Gürtelrose

jmb and comanzatara like this

Drüben bei Facebook hat wieder ein Idiot was gepostet.

Reposted from mehr

karlokoenig likes this

You think you have balls?

Do you have “Using your iPhone X without a phone case” balls?

Reposted from anonymous

kenwats likes this

hm..
..und wenn wir jetzt immer das beste raus holen, dann bleibt doch am ende nix gutes mehr drin
?

Reposted from karlokoenig

karlokoenig likes this

A shoulder to cry on

becomes a dick to ride on.

Reposted from onkelonkel

Your
American Dream

is made in China.

Ich lasse mir jetzt einen Krankenwagen tätowieren.

Dann habe ich ein Tatütatatattoo.

Reposted from T.witterperlen

It's hard to fake an interest in the World Cup and my job on the same day.

Fuck you
Fuck me
Fuck them
Fuck this
Fuck that
Fuck it

#fuckit

KnightofSIAL likes this

I would say I love you with all my heart, but my butt is bigger.

Q: what's the difference between a hobo and a homo?

A: a Hobo's got no friends and a homo has friends up the ass

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz likes this

Q: why do lawyers wear neckties?

A: it holds back the foreskin

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz likes this

Ihr Geschlechtspartner ejakulierte nicht,
bitte versuchen sie es später noch einmal.

Der heiße Polizist könnte mich gern mal fest nehmen.

Shut up and sleep with me!

#90s, #flashback

karlokoenig likes this

do ass you like

karlokoenig likes this

ich werde niemals reich mir doch mal den Kaviar!

Reposted from GeneratedName

#(wiederholung)

comanzatara and jmb like this

I'm not staring at you.
I'm watching us fuck in my mind.

comanzatara likes this

Huregeil ist schweizerisch für Nuttentoll

+

karlokoenig, KnightofSIAL and jmb like this

Weltfußball...

Was für ein Wort.

Ok, Weltkokosnussweitwurf klingt auch echt total nichtssagend.

Reposted from Tanascha

KnightofSIAL likes this

Guter Sex ist, wenns Knutschen so richtig außer Kontrolle gerät.

Reposted from prodati

karlokoenig likes this

I enjoy yoga*

*watching flexible men in tight pants

#yoga

InfluenceNoise likes this

WIE SIE ALLE WIEDER EIS FRESSEN, ALS WÜSSTEN SIE NICHT WIE EIN BIER AUFGEHT.

Reposted from prodati

comanzatara and jmb like this

Why do some people play hard to get when they're already hard to want . . . .

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise, jmb and karlokoenig like this

Unless i am sitting on your face. . .
my weight is none of your concern.

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise likes this

When 3 people have sex, It's called a threesome.

When two people have sex, It's called a twosome.

Now I understand why they call you Handsome.

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise, jmb and karlokoenig like this

I hate phone sex. . .

Once the phone is in you can't even hear what the other person is saying.

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise likes this

You don't just wake up this sexy. . .

Well i do, but you don't

Reposted from Bettydent

Neues Medikament am Markt:

VIAGRA - LIGHT

Reicht nicht zum Poppen, aber macht am Strand rischtisch Alarm.

Reposted from onkelonkel

Bukake ruined my carpet.

immer: wenn ich geil einparke, guckt keiner
.
immer: wenn ich geil gucke, parkt keiner ein
.

Reposted from karlokoenig

@karlokoenig

upupandaway, comanzatara and karlokoenig like this

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

Reposted from 2schaa

InfluenceNoise and karlokoenig like this

Sun's out,
guns out! *

*does not apply for maniacs with actual guns!

#pray, #for, #belgium

springfire likes this

I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

Reposted from 2schaa

InfluenceNoise and jmb like this

Was macht eigentlich Claudia Bertani?

Everything Donald Trump says!

#nonsense

#nonsense, #notypo

springfire and InfluenceNoise like this

Ich würde ja zu gerne mal groß im Lotto gewinnen, einfach nur um zu wissen, wieviel Verwandte ich habe...

Reposted from Lichtwaechter

ICH FINDE DEINEN SARKASMUS EINFACH ZUM KOTZEN!

Soll ich Dir die Haare halten?

Reposted from onkelonkel

comanzatara likes this

if you are cooler than me,
does this mean i am hotter than you?

Reposted from Tanascha

InfluenceNoise, jmb and Tanascha like this

Hach, im Unterhemd auf dem Balkon grillen.

DAS nenn' ich mal "Deutsche Vita"

#sommer

eulekauzig, ChrisRota, KnightofSIAL, Tanascha, comanzatara and jmb like this

reposted by KnightofSIAL

Was man nicht im Kopf hat . . .

. . . muss man zwischen den Beinen haben.

Reposted from Hank-the-knife

comanzatara and jmb like this

#trending

Tanascha, InfluenceNoise and jmb like this

DON'T WORRY
IT ONLY SEEMS KINKY THE FIRST TIME

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

InfluenceNoise likes this

"Können sie noch was am Preis machen?"

"Klar. Ich kann die Nullen ausmalen. Welche Farbe?"

Tanascha likes this

The only way out
is through

InfluenceNoise likes this

Wer dass liest ist doof!

I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings when
I called you stupid.

I really thought you already knew.

Reposted from UserOne

KnightofSIAL, Tanascha and UserOne like this

#sorry

Always give Max Pleasure. He'll appreciate it....

Reposted from anonymous

"Du siehst besser aus, wenn du keine Brille trägst!"

"Danke, du siehst auch besser aus, wenn ich keine Brille trage!"

Reposted from niemo

Tanascha likes this

Dass man es vorher gewusst hat, weiß man ja oftmals erst hinterher.

Reposted from niemo

Ghostdog and Tanascha like this

"Hoch die Hände, Monatsende!"

Frank, 42 Jahre, Bankräuber, knapp bei Kasse.

Reposted from niemo

#420

And she is gonna be royal.

#wedding

Besties with Testes!

Reposted from anonymous

Leipnitz
BUTTerkeks*

*Nur echt mit einem Loch.

#naked, #butt

i'd wear my birthday suit for you, but....

(it's got a hole in it)

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz and InfluenceNoise like this

Reim dich, oder ich fress dir!

#almost, #naked

karlokoenig and InfluenceNoise like this

I like you lean, I like you fat...
I'm craving for you, Mett.

#hackepeter, @karlokoenig

InfluenceNoise and comanzatara like this

Feck
Perfuction

#fuck, #perfection

Tanascha likes this

Posting nonsense just for the badge

Fionacatherine, InfluenceNoise, jmb and comanzatara like this

#naked

Alles ist gut, solange du wild bist. Außer bei einem Wildunfall. Da ist es schlecht, wenn du Wild bist.

Reposted from schnudelhupf

Tanascha and comanzatara like this

YOU LOOK AMAZING TODAY!

And so is the weather. You just have to believe it really hard.

#weather, #amazing

InfluenceNoise likes this

Take your dog for a walk!

If you don't have one, steal one and walk it.

#dog, #go, #outside

Tanascha and InfluenceNoise like this

Show off your toes!

Unless they're gross.
Keep your gross toes to yourself.

#naked, #summer, #feet

janem803 and InfluenceNoise like this

#naked

Tanascha, Campo, crafty, bobbybuilder, comanzatara, jmb and karlokoenig like this

reposted by karlokoenig

Nakedness
essary

#naked

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Reposted from campino

Naked
truth
can
be
hard

Reposted from ErikSmit

ErikSmit likes this

Shit happens.

Sometimes twice a day.

#shit

InfluenceNoise likes this

Yesterday

...all my troubles
seemed so far away!

Reposted from eulekauzig

eulekauzig and InfluenceNoise like this

scheiße
ist,
wenn
der furz
was wiegt
.

Reposted from karlokoenig

KnightofSIAL, karlokoenig and bold like this

"Sag es mit Blumen"
ist auch Quatsch, wo es nun Gifs gibt.

Reposted from comanzatara

Ein Mann muß tun, was ein Mann tun muß.

Ich für meinen Teil warte auf den Bus.

Reposted from comanzatara

Wie ich es hasse, wenn außer mir nichts Süßes im Haus ist.

Reposted from KnightofSIAL

OF COURSE SIZE DOES MATTER!

NOBODY WANTS A SMALL GIN TONIC.

Reposted from schnudelhupf

Dann geh' doch zu Penny!

"Ich brauche keinen Papagei."

*Papageien sind 60% reduziert*

"Ich nehme vier."

Reposted from T.witterperlen

Dafür, dass Barbie ihre Knie nicht beugen kann und den Mund nicht aufbekommt, hat sie ganz schön viele teure Sachen.

Reposted from T.witterperlen

Good luck!

And don't fuck it up!

#rupaul, #fuck, #luck, #duck, #suck

Helvetica in the streets.

Wingdings in the sheets.

Reposted from anonymous

kenwats likes this

People who
know everything don't know
one thing.

How much of a jerk they are.

Reposted from anonymous

Do I look fat in this dress?

The answer is no, the truth is yes

#yes

InfluenceNoise likes this

#yes

KnightofSIAL likes this

Everybody
has brain.
So use yours for yourself first.
Like those fucking oxygen masks on airplanes,
you see?

Reposted from Andromenadda

Yes Sir,
I can boogie

#yes

Da will man in Ruhe, die ganze Wohnung putzen und was passiert? Keine Lust

Reposted from A.M.

Gefährlich wird es, wenn die Dummen fleissig werden!

Reposted from ernstrose

hanueli likes this

Umwege erhöhen die Ortskenntnis

Reposted from ernstrose

Q: whats the difference between hungry and horny?

A: where you put the cucumber

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz and InfluenceNoise like this

sex and skydiving are actually very similar: both come dangerously close to changing the population of the planet by 1

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz and InfluenceNoise like this

Silence is golden , duct tape is silver

Reposted from Shakur

InfluenceNoise likes this

#yes, #butno

janem803, Bartjan, Ziya, InfluenceNoise and eulekauzig like this

Endlich wieder
Fussball-WM

und samstags in Würde bei ALDI einkaufen!

#wm, #fussball, #aldi

But mainly,
stay classy.

#classy

shut your fucking face uncle fucker.

#fucker

InfluenceNoise likes this

There's no "i" in team, but theres a U in cunt

Reposted from dudeanything

InfluenceNoise likes this

If Trump can run a country you can run 10km!

#trump

Party like your vagina is on fire

#party, #vagina, #fire

Punkt
Punkt
Komma
Strich

#fertig, #ist, #das, #mondgesicht

KnightofSIAL likes this

Scheint breit like a diamond

#diamond

KnightofSIAL likes this

Six-Pack?

Hatte ich schon, steht mir nicht.

Reposted from pasquale85

vielleicht wird alles vielleichter

Reposted from pasquale85

Reposted from pasquale85

#sucks

InfluenceNoise likes this

it's ok honey
not everyone can be funny

#honey, #funny, #ok

InfluenceNoise likes this

Früher
war mehr boldomatic

#lametta, #boldomatic, #loriot

KnightofSIAL likes this

May the 5th be with You

#may, #someone, #explain, #me

SHOULDA

WOULDA

COULDA

#if

The first guy to discover milk probably did a lot of other weird shit too.

Reposted from Bettydent

InfluenceNoise likes this

#schEIS-Sorten

#schEIS-Sorten

#schEIS-Sorten

#green

Postphoning

When you need to make a call, but you're not making it yet.

Reposted from Bartjan

bold likes this

Frame your pussy.

That thing got you further than your degree.

Reposted from Andromenadda

bold likes this

I <3 Heidi from boldomatic

#boldomatic

A DELETED BROWSER HISTORY SAYS IT ALL.

Reposted from Akatrine

See you all in church.

Just kidding, meet you at the bar.

Reposted from satan

I love you with all my penis.

Reposted from satan

Ü

German emoticon

#emoticon, #:)

#bend, #ober, #gebückt, #ass, #asshole

#boobs

$still no followers \o/$

Es keat oanfach
viel mehr
gschmust

2 words

1 finger

#fucku

Sorry, I'm late.

I didn't want to come.

#late

Don't be a Richard

#dick

KnightofSIAL likes this

"Warum laufen Sie mir die ganze Zeit hinterher?"

"Jetzt wo Sie sich umgedreht haben, frage ich mich das auch..."

Reposted from campino

Tanascha and campino like this

Fart when people hug you.

It makes them feel strong.

Reposted from UserOne

UserOne likes this

Mein lieber Scholli

Tanascha and KnightofSIAL like this

please add me on your to do list

Reposted from Luenchen

Du bist so überflüssig wie das 'g' in Lasagne

#lasagne

Ich hasse dich mehr als Kohlenhydrate

#carbs

Tanascha and KnightofSIAL like this

Kreuzberger Gemächte sind lang

Cash
You Al Fry They

#friday, #english

Masturbation hat den Vorteil, vorher nicht lügen und hinterher kein freundliches Gesicht machen zu müssen!

Reposted from schnudelhupf

KnightofSIAL likes this

#shit

Frisbee.

What a catch!

#frisbee, #catch, #pun

Bold
Bolder
Boldest

No hair
No hair
No hair

#bold, #hair

Everthing looks
bolder
in
ComicSans !

#liar, #hellno, #helvetica

Pardon my French, but watch le fuck out

Reposted from ErikSmit

karlokoenig and ErikSmit like this

Hat ein Grafiker nix drauf, macht er 'nen Verlauf.

#grafiker, #verlauf

Lieber Tadaaa! als To-Do

Reposted from schnudelhupf

Endlich wieder arbeiten!!!
Ich konnte vor lauter Vorfreude nicht schlafen.

Reposted from A.M.

GeneratedName likes this

Reposted from A.M.

GeneratedName likes this

Who let the fox out?

#foxy

GeneratedName likes this

Wie heissen die Eltern von Fix & Foxy?

Paxi & Fixi

#foxy

GeneratedName likes this

chacha chacha chacha chow

#foxy

GeneratedName likes this

Save the date!

Rette die Dattel!

#date, #dattel

GeneratedName likes this

Made in Germany.

#china, #fake

Tanascha, jmb, Andromenadda and GeneratedName like this

Reposted from pdrijk

GeneratedName likes this

#fuck

GeneratedName likes this

I
HAVE
NO
IDEA
WHAT
I´M
DOING

GeneratedName likes this

verfi
ckte
sche
isse!

GeneratedName likes this

alles isch super

GeneratedName likes this

ich werde niemals reich mir doch mal den Kaviar!

GeneratedName likes this

reposted by GeneratedName

...wie geht das hier genau?

GeneratedName likes this