mrpyatt02's Posts

You know those Sex Houses, the little wooden houses with the hole for your dick that people hang in trees?
Apparently those are for birds.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

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Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Reposted from satan

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The person who decided military helicopters should have green camouflage instead of blue should never get to decide things again.

Reposted from anonymous

Stay hungry, stay BOLD!

*Phone falls* OMFG NOO! PLEASE STILL WORK! I LOVE YOU!
*Friend falls* HAHAHA!

Reposted from anonymous

kj55 likes this

when alexander graham bell invented the phone, he had three missed calls from chuck norris

Reposted from chucknorris

kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

Teacher: "Why is your cat in school?"

Kid: "Because i heard dad say to mom, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' "

Reposted from anonymous

aehmpaeh, kj55, siwsuv, Lirpae.. and _Nathalie_ like this

Who's busy shoving a cactus up my ass!?

Ahhh, Monday, it's you again.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

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Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

Reposted from asadansari154

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Sometimes, I sneak up on my alarm clock in the middle of the night and yell "HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH"

Reposted from bold

quisten, _Nathalie_, kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

Friday.
My second favorite F word

_Nathalie_, Sven and kj55 like this

The hardest part about beginning a new relationship is learning to fart quietly again...

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

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Dear sun, thanks for being there.
I love you!

hemko, kj55, permanentwaves and Lirpae.. like this

I'm pretty sure this whole 'ladies first' thing was created by a guy to check out ass.

Reposted from bold

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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Reposted from anonymous

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i'm not afraid of flying

i'm afraid of suddenly not flying

Reposted from svenZ

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i'm so sick and tired of friends who can't handle alcohol

the other night they dropped me three times while carrying me to the car...

Reposted from svenZ

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If Monday were shoes, she would be Crocs

ccz6ih, avant-garde, kj55, bold and pasquale85 like this

#ThingsToSayAfterSex

Ok, so much for foreplay!

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#ThingsToSayAfterSex

Thank you

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#WhatToSayAfterSex

Was it in, honey?

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I use sarcasm because beating the crap out of people is in fact frowned upon in most societies

Reposted from anonymous

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You can only be young once.
But you can always be immature.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

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SARCASM!
because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

Reposted from noahveit

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someone: so what are you getting for christmas ?
me: fatter

Reposted from annalena_kle

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Merry
F***ing
Christ-mas!!!

kj55 likes this

When a pregnancy test confirms your worst fear: You're just fat.

Reposted from leslucas

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i'm trying to get in to the christmas spirit but the damn bottle won't open.

Reposted from beesmoove

kj55 and bold like this

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance.

Reposted from Nina-Aliyah

If it itches, it will be scratched. End of story.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

kj55 and bold like this

Monday? I told you to fuck off last week

Reposted from grace

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DANCE FIRST THINK LATER

Reposted from RulesOfLife

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time is the greatest teacher; un-fortunately it kills all of it's students

Reposted from anonymous

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