nanertak's Posts

And then alcohol said "put that on Facebook, it's hilarious". But alcohol was. So very wrong.

haddock and shespeaks94 like this

Coffee should be available in a Monday morning size.

janem803, timothy21, haddock and Qball like this

#firstdate

janem803, juliettebravo, Qball and bold like this

You must have been born on a highway as that's where most accidents happen.

perellano, Qball, shespeaks94 and timothy21 like this

Legos:

10% playing

20% loosing the piece you need

70% screaming each time you step on one

bapu, shespeaks94, UserOne, haddock and timothy21 like this

If you were a vegetable you would be a cabbitch.

juneocallagh and Qball like this

Friday is my second favourite 'F' word.

juneocallagh, _ATOMIC and haddock like this

50 shades of no Bae.

juneocallagh, UserOne and shespeaks94 like this

Jesus take the wheel, now put it in first- no, put the clutch in and- Jesus what the fuck, you said you could drive stick.

juneocallagh and UserOne like this

$And then Satan said "Put the alphabet in math."$

bapu, timothy21, Qball, Proceline and juneocallagh like this

Can you see the "fuck you" in my smile?

EasierSaid246, jodib, juneocallagh, kitkatkay and Qball like this

There isn't enough coffee or middle fingers for this Monday.

juneocallagh, timothy21, Proceline and Qball like this

Life isn't a fairytale, if you lose your shoe on a night out you aren't Cinderella you're just drunk.

juneocallagh and Qball like this

Are you sure you're a muggle because that ass is magical.

juneocallagh likes this

Yea, If I looked like your mom i'd probably rebuild my face too.

Reposted from Proceline

juneocallagh and Qball like this

If you're going to be two-faced can you at least make one of them pretty.

#plasticsurgery

juneocallagh and Qball like this

There is no way I was born just to pay bills and die.

juneocallagh, Proceline, Qball, bold, timothy21, haddock and juliettebravo like this

At least I know that if I wanted to kill myself I could climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.

Proceline and haddock like this

Just apply,

I might
consider you.

Reposted from Proceline

juneocallagh likes this

Not knowing the difference between my drunk friend or autocorrect.

#autocorrect

juneocallagh and _ATOMIC like this

Trust me I'm a Jedi.

juneocallagh, haddock and shespeaks94 like this

Wine doesn't make you fat it makes you lean.... on tables, against walls, on chairs and against your dog.

I hope you step on a lego.

haddock likes this

DON'T YOU TYPE AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE.

Qball and UserOne like this

Well..... Atleast it's not Monday.

shespeaks94, Bantuzoya1988, timothy21 and Qball like this

My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U.

shespeaks94 likes this

I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't even draw but dang I can play a mean goose noise on the saxophone.

@Proceline, #altoproblems

janem803, Proceline, Qball, haddock and timothy21 like this

Sweetie you don't have to like me, I'm not a facebook status.

timothy21 and haddock like this

I just want to live my life being bold and daring, not trapped behind glass with walls so high. Take me where my hair flies in the wind just please anywhere but here.

#escapetheaquarium

jodib, Qball, shespeaks94, timothy21 and haddock like this

Group projects helped me to understand why Batman works alone.

janem803, juliettebravo, juneocallagh, Proceline, timothy21, bold, haddock and Bantuzoya1988 like this

Did you know that you can drink lava. But only once.

juneocallagh and haddock like this

There are two rules for success...
1. Never reveal everything you know

juneocallagh, Qball and shespeaks94 like this

hgfgbJc&);@@hdthJgundjidn8&7,:../ffzzzd a

-Cat

juneocallagh likes this

I just took a nap and I'm still tired of your shit.

janem803, timothy21, Bantuzoya1988, juneocallagh, Qball, Proceline and shespeaks94 like this

Just remember that the center of a donut is 100% fat free!

janem803, bapu, Bantuzoya1988, juneocallagh, Qball, Proceline and shespeaks94 like this

If you were a transformer you would be Optimus Fine.

juneocallagh likes this

Boyfriends are like pancakes, the first one is usually a throw away.

timothy21, Bantuzoya1988, juneocallagh, shespeaks94 and Qball like this

Try saying "I like cops" without your lips touching.

ErikSmit, timothy21, juneocallagh and shespeaks94 like this

If you don't succeed the first time, skydiving is not for you.

juneocallagh likes this

Want a ladder so you could possibly get on my level?

timothy21, juneocallagh and shespeaks94 like this

That thought was so deep Adele was rolling in it.

juneocallagh, shespeaks94 and Proceline like this

Your cooking is so bad a Canadian would insult it .

timothy21 and juneocallagh like this

Honey, your opinion is about as needed as the "k" in knife.

timothy21, juneocallagh, Qball and shespeaks94 like this

Are you a banker because I'd like you to leave me a loan.

juliettebravo, bold, juneocallagh and Proceline like this

I remember going to the park to get high when I was younger, the swings just don't go anywhere near as high as they used though.

@Proceline

timothy21, juneocallagh, shespeaks94 and Proceline like this

Hold on. Let me check my receipt because I don't remember buying your bullshit.

EasierSaid246, jodib, timothy21, juneocallagh, shespeaks94 and Proceline like this

If I drop a box of baking soda does that mean I dropped the base?

timothy21, juneocallagh and Proceline like this

If I trip over a bottle of vinager does that mean I'm tripping on acid?

timothy21, juneocallagh and Proceline like this

We can't just go through life guessing. If we did our houses would be lopsided.

juneocallagh, roosterbear, Proceline and nanertak like this

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese. How dairy.

juneocallagh and JodieT like this

~a woman is like a tea bag•
you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water•~

Reposted from anonymous

@Proceline

juneocallagh, Proceline and Qball like this

Listen, Nothing in this world scares me, I have two Black Belts in karate, but there is no way WHATSOEVER that I will ever quarl with a spider.

*looks down at 8 legged demon*

juneocallagh, Proceline and shespeaks94 like this

Women can do anything men can do but women can do it in heels.

#International, #womens, #day

timothy21, juneocallagh and Proceline like this

Why do people get so upset when they get friendzoned? At least now they have friends.

timothy21, juneocallagh, Qball and shespeaks94 like this

"Here buy as many Timbits as you can with $14."
-Every Canadian ever born

UserOne, juneocallagh, ellenicole and Proceline like this

reposted by ellenicole and ellenicole

I just realized tatet tots is short for potato toddlers and I don't know how I feel about that.

timothy21 and Proceline like this

I am not saying that I hate you but if you were on fire and I had a bottle of water I would drink it.

timothy21 likes this

"I like your hair today"...

"Thanks I grew it myself"

Proceline likes this

Yes officer, I did see the 'speed limit' sign, I just didn't see you.

Proceline likes this

Time is precious...
Waste it wisely

timothy21 and Proceline like this

A broken clock is right 2-3 times a day. Trust me I'm right.

juneocallagh and Proceline like this

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

Reposted from chipdicks

bold, juneocallagh and Proceline like this