nreyes's Posts

Gin
Tronic.
Lime
Sonic.
Soda
Phonic.
{ seven across, 5 letters}

Oil,
Soil,
Bubble
And Toil.

(2026 so far...)

Suck my tariff, Donald.

Elon. WNker. Trump. Fu kr.
Harris. Jun kr.
Go to hell. Damn you soft touch screens

Elon Musk is a Farley's Rusk. Only...less palatable.

Don't vote. Just choke.

The sad thing abouy US Elections is the amount of interfering in world matters that happens afterwards.

Play your trump card. Vote Harris.

A labour government in the UK is a welcome break to a decade of teletubbies. And yet...why is there so much doubt?

Simple simon met a pie-man, on his way to the Keir Starmer podcast.

Elon Musk is a dithering, rabble-rousing moron. But a rich one at that.

Where's Charlie? Police hunt Puigdemont in Catalunya....

Cause and effect?

Self-help book themes in 2014: Work faster, be more productive, high performance teams, do more, get more done...

Self-help books in 2024: dealing with burnout, slowing down, embracing zen, mindfulness...

siouxz, Krisargent and JMBis like this

Pink is the new colour of virility. Said no-one, ever...

Krisargent likes this

Halloween is a w*tch...

Krisargent likes this

It's raining hens, cluck-a-looyah?
Eggsactly!

Krisargent likes this

Mick Jagger is a cool dude.

The world is a better place for dinosaurs

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Krisargent likes this

reposted by Krisargent

Hamas a nice day, and fuck off home you murderous bastards! The world really doesn't need this kind of crap, now or ever.

Is everything in the new Apple's event related to environmental issues? Come on, guys and gals, we're tech whores. We don't care except about our selfish needs....

Iphone 15. Colored and polished. Wow!

Iphone 15 = absolutly incredible. Or how to buy another dud. Only if you are a "pro", of course.

Apple's environmental efforts = meh, wrapped up in a coating of marketing sh*t. But hey... they aren't the worst.

Dierdre? Pronounced deer-drah? Wtf?

Krisargent likes this

Is it just me, or is Tim Cook dying for a pee, during the recent Apple Special Event? Let him use the toilet, you mean Apple Marketing folk!!

schnudelhupf likes this

That bald Wagner guy just got zapped by the Kremlin. Says quite a lot about the regime. Russia Out Now!!!!! All of you. B*stards!

The first man on the moon has arrived with roti, rice and an intergalactic vindaloo to scare all aliens into submission. Go India!

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reposted by Krisargent

The Mumbai Moon landings...screening in all leading theatres in October 2023. Press "like" for free tickets

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Keep my curry hot in heaven...

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Rembert is a glorious stalwart. Bless you!

Police in Newcastle are so charming. Thanks!

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Wendy is a burger butt.

New York, New York. So good, they had to name it twice.

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I just took a photo at iso6400.

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Olive is the new oil.

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NASA does it in zero gravity.

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The world is a better place without Ruskies.

Not Wanted: putin

Belarus and Russia - go home you f**king shits. The world has had enough of your crap.

Jazz is like 4 guys playing in separate rooms to a different score. Genius!

Krisargent, JMBis and CurrentNobody like this

Jo is not working at Apple. She was poisoned by Ivy.

CurrentNobody likes this

Strongbow isn't cider. It's a mirage.

CurrentNobody likes this

Jane likes it up the Arsenic

CurrentNobody likes this

It's time to make a sharp exit, Putin. And take your cro ies with you.

CurrentNobody likes this

He who lives by the sword, will probably enjoy a bit of cold metal around the house.

CurrentNobody likes this

Run, rabbit, run. Said the f**king fox.

CurrentNobody likes this

My girlfriend wears hose. She's a firefighter.

Krisargent likes this

Whinny whinny whinny said the horse.

Krisargent likes this

Felipe sucks geeks. Long live Felipe.

The an
ti-pension reform idiots are unleashed...
what a pity they have nothing sensible to suggest. Just burn and trash everything in sight. #soembarrassedtobeFrench

I'll be finished when I goddamn get to my end.

CurrentNobody, schnudelhupf and JMBis like this

Peter piper packed one hell of a pipe. Do you know what I am sayin'...dawg?

siouxz and Krisargent like this

Trump took ten times the time to terminate the tenancy.

Elvis hid his hamburgers handling historically hampered histrionics.

JMBis likes this

Mr. Potato does it frying up.

CurrentNobody and JMBis like this

Free Willy!
He's caught in a zipper somewhere.

CurrentNobody, schnudelhupf and JMBis like this

Pirates of the Caribbean are still at large. Do not invest in cryptocurrency. Thanks for your due diligence.

JMBis likes this

Johnny Depp experienced fear and loathing during a recent visit to Las Vegas.

I am going through my menstruation cycle. Period.

JMBis likes this

Bart Simpson is a little yellow fuck.

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Don't drink and drive. Smoke pot and fly.

siouxz, Fionacatherine, schnudelhupf, Krisargent and JMBis like this

reposted by rachelkisses

Armageddon is a four letter word.

The East is yeast. Not least.

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The West is best.

Garcia. Swear your oath on a copy of National Geographic.

Donald Trump never swore on a Superman comic.

Salty, snacky, balls.

Pale apricot is the new Gucci 2023 color. Sorry, folks. It just doesn't work for me. Or you, girlfriend...

Krisargent likes this

Habemus Papum. Oh. Hang on a goddamn minute... we already have one.

JMBis likes this

I Love the Pope. The Pope smokes dope. Said no-one, ever. Except The Pope. When he was smoking dope.

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Robert Smith is The Cure.

Michael Stipe dreams in REM.

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Hillary Clinton for President!

Krisargent likes this

Don't fake the funk on the nasty dunk.

Russian Aggressors, go home! You fuckwits! Sort your own domestic problems out before creating new ones.

CurrentNobody likes this

Go, England, go....make those yanks regret they ever split with our love....

CurrentNobody likes this

Qatar makes me grateful that I gave up football to follow Rugby instead.

CurrentNobody likes this

The beautiful game is about to get ugly. Get your Qatar tickets now...

CurrentNobody likes this

SpaceTwit stole my social media platform. Reward offered.

CurrentNobody likes this

Twits know how to run Twitter

CurrentNobody likes this

Brian loves a laundromat.

CurrentNobody likes this

Sally is sullied on Netflix

Playstation 7 announced just in time for X-Boxmas

CurrentNobody likes this

Time for another drink, Terry?

CurrentNobody likes this

Quatar might cut your love of balls, Fifa...

JMBis likes this

Soccer is a game of balls.

CurrentNobody likes this

Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to align your credit cards during a recession the providence of Black Friday. It's ancestral and don't you forget it!

Peter Piper picked a Democratic Candidate. How many Democratic candidates did Peter Piper pick?
Vote Republican and be damned, damn it! Or play your Trump card and go to hell...

Rushi Sunak does it standing up.

Boris Johnson loves a print of real ale. Pity he lives in a virtual world.

Richard Branson is 100% Virgin.

Elon Musk tweets like a strangled sparow.

JMBis likes this

Cricket isn't all it's batted out to be...

Krisargent likes this

Bring it on, Black Ferns! You're champions of the world!

I got flung out of the toilets and marched offsite at Twitter. Let that sink in.

Who's dreading Christmas already?

CurrentNobody likes this

It's clay-pigeon shooting time at Twitter...

Fionacatherine, JMBis and CurrentNobody like this

Green is the new Gold.

CurrentNobody likes this

The mouse behind the mask?

CurrentNobody likes this

The UK lacks (Truss)t. Time to go, thanks for the memories.

CurrentNobody likes this

Okay, Truss. It's time to go. No fuss...

CurrentNobody likes this

Chess is such a violent game...

Krisargent, nreyes and CurrentNobody like this

Donald Duck is a goose.

Krisargent, nreyes and CurrentNobody like this

Cake news: I'm baking today.

Krisargent, nreyes and CurrentNobody like this

The weather is bad in Athens. Greece Lightning.

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Autumn is a time to turn over an old leaf.

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Krisargent and nreyes like this

Mickey Mouse is the devil

nreyes likes this

The irony of "Just stop oil" protesters is that they use petroleum derived products like spraypaint and glue. Just stop!

nreyes, JMBis and CurrentNobody like this

Russians trashed my country.

Yo Putin. Time to go home, fool!

No, Putin, No.
Or better still...No Putin.

Twenty Nineteen.
Just like Carlos, is "Ghosn".
Happy New Year,
2020 is here!

CurrentNobody likes this

Greta Thunberg will sail to the Climate Summit in Spain. Not sure how theyll get the catamaran into Madrid, though...

CurrentNobody likes this

Whip me, matron. And roughly so...

Pastafari - red, gold and green spaghetti. Now available from Bella Pasta.

Colonel Sanders is a fat bastard.

"I drink, therefore I ham" -
1936 Dwayne "Prohibition" Johnston. Milwaukee, USA

Robin Williams was the greatest.

"Shambles" - a term of endearmant levelled at naive supporters of the Brexit movement.

Chicks for dicks...just in case you feel a little bit Snitchy. Thanks FBI!

Ticks for dicks...in case you feel a little bit itchy.

Save yourselves. It's too late for Brexit. Thanks UK for leaving us stranded in Europe. Yeah. FU2!

Wtf - break the brexit, please. Arse holes are abundant. No. It is not an anagram.

Brexit = shambles. Solve 2 down for a bonus crossword.

If i choose to go to the moon i'd probably say "fu*kit, i'm not going back to earth". But then again, I'm not the owner of zozoland.

Now that trump is on his way out, someone should find some dirt on Theresa May and put the world back on track.

Pinky and Perky were in it together!

Red White and Glue. Save Gibraltar from the Brexit fiasco. It's a sticky situation.

Red
White and Glue.

"Take my privates. Oops. No, sorry. Take it private. Yes. That's right. That's what I meant," said Elon.

Excerpt from the Academy award-winning screenplay "Are there bars on Mars?" Starring Musk and some other wankers.

"It's a classic case of mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter" - D.Trump's diary

Sunshine123 and JodieT like this

Trump steak and fries, Casino chips and lies,
Black suits and red ties,
Stupid fools aren't wise.

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I had my wallet stolen at a nudist colony. Go figure ....

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Despacito is killing me slowly

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I like the Pope. The Pope smokes Dope.

Last night I scanned the sky looking for a moon but all I saw was Uranus.

#alien

bold, Sunshine123 and nreyes like this

Your teeth are like the stars. They come out at night.

#alien

siouxz, Shea, meohmy, fart, juneocallagh, Sunshine123 and nreyes like this

reposted by juneocallagh and VTRenegade

Nasa just announced they have found life on another planet. The US Government has immediately dispatched a task force of accountants, real estate developers and the IRS to ensure they pay their taxes on time.

Sunshine123 and nreyes like this

I'm an alien. I'm a legal alien. I'm a green card holder in New York ....

#alien

Krisargent and nreyes like this

Aliens landed in a German supermarket today. Their first words were "Take me to your Lidl"

#alien

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I Love Agency-R.com

nreyes likes this

Inspiration can be found in the strangest places.

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Brexit stage left

The media has blamed the spread of fake news on social networks like whatsapp. That's just unreal. Everybody knows that Fake News is a lie!

Reposted from nreyes

#whatsapp, #superpower

The media has blamed the spread of fake news on social networks like whatsapp. That's just unreal. Everybody knows that Fake News is a lie!

#whatsapp, #superpower

nreyes likes this

reposted by nreyes

You make me want to gravitate towards you like an interplanetary body on a semi-elliptical orbit of your nucleus.

#nerd

Krisargent, bold, juneocallagh and JodieT like this

Why did Fitstar drop Tony Gonzalez?

Jack can go and jump himself.

JodieT likes this

Sweaters are just another way if saying .... "revenge!"

Sunshine123 likes this

Willy Wanker loves walnuts.

Sunshine123 likes this

Christmas is a time for odd shaped characters. Time to hit the gym, people!

Sunshine123 likes this

Does colour matter?

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Send me an Angel. I feel horny all over.

Hold my hand and jump with me at midnight (into bed)

Krisargent, Vandtastic and Sunshine123 like this

Suck it and see

New
Young
Everlasting

New Year's Peeve.

Twenty Seventeen, the number of the yeast.

Bakers Convention.

Krisargent likes this

That's just so 2016...

Krisargent and Sunshine123 like this

Cayman Islands Wash program - max. 2 kg of bills (mixed denominations), 34 deg. , double-spin and optional softener for IRS officials.

#laundry

emiledi77, juneocallagh and nreyes like this

Pimp yo' washing machine. Make your top-loader a low-rider.

#laundry

Krisargent, emiledi77, princexiv, Shea, juneocallagh and Sunshine123 like this

Colombian Laundry Powder is available from the dispenser with the dark glasses standing around on the sidewalk.

#laundry

emiledi77, Shea and juneocallagh like this

Sex with socks kind of sucks

#laundry

Shea and juneocallagh like this

Yes, your honour. I stole Nick Kamen's jeans while he was distracted by those girls with hideous 80s hair-styles.

#laundry

Shea and juneocallagh like this

We know where you live, Edward!

#censorship

Sunshine123, redikryeziu, pluton, emiledi77, juneocallagh, Shea and swatchUSA like this

Xx x xxxx xx xxxxxx xxxxxx xx x xxxxx, xxxxx xx xxxx xxx xxxx!

#censorship

Krisargent, Sunshine123, redikryeziu, UserOne, pluton, emiledi77, juneocallagh, Shea, JodieT and Campo like this

Second fiddle is just a sad way of saying Cello.

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reposted by pluton

Double Oh Trump.

redikryeziu, pluton and emiledi77 like this

redikryeziu likes this

My mum stinks of fish. Octopissy.

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My mum stinks of fish

One positive outcome of Trump's election is we get to see more of Melania. Hooray for foxy wives!

pluton, JodieT and nreyes like this

Like a Tesla on autopilot, this project is going straight into a wall.

My kinky wife dresses like a caveman and then we have Tyranasaurus Sex.

#dinosaur

Vandtastic, JodieT, eliane and Shea like this

Weather the storm, then ride the extortional market prices. We thank you - the Farmer's Union.

#mothernature

Shea likes this

Plant shit, grow green grass. It's primordial. Just look at the USA.

#mothernature

Shea likes this

Donald Trump may drop the Deportation Thing. I guess he understood where the USA's forced labour comes from ....

JodieT likes this

Send in the clowns. Oh, i see that USA already has. First Trump, and now the pinocchio brothers......

#circus

Sunshine123, Shea, juneocallagh and JodieT like this

In years to come people will talk about the day Phelps won Gold. But for now, the media circus focuses on what the other losers told.....

#circus

Shea, juneocallagh and JodieT like this

drink beer and become clever. Budwiser.

the 3 legged race has just started ...oh errr, no, that was just Usain warming up....

#olympics

siouxz, bobbybuilder and Shea like this

what's that floating in the Bahia?

#olympics

Shea likes this

if New Zealand win another medal they will be breaking the hobbit of a lifetime and will become Lord of the (Olympic) Rings.....

#olympics

Shea likes this

i won Cold in the winter olympics

#olympics

Shea and swatchUSA like this

#olympics

#olympics

if these were the winter olympics, i would certainly win "Cold"

Vandtastic and JodieT like this

New Zealand may change its "hobbits", and become Lord of the (olympic) rings this week.

JodieT likes this

pokemon sucks hairy balls.

#pokemon

pokemon, pokeon,
pokeoff!

#pokemon

it's not the size of the boat that counts, but the motion in the ocean....

if you sprinkle, with your winkle. please be neat and wipe the seat...

mylisa1970 likes this

honey, i'm bone!

don't drink and dive. you might drown.

Vandtastic, Sunshine123, Babs_77, meohmy, niemo and swatchUSA like this

reposted by swatchUSA

i'm following the seafood diet. when i see food, i eat it....

Pope on a rope - one wash with this and you will go straight to heaven

hensch likes this

is that a ladder in your tights, or the stairway to heaven?

#pickupline

hensch and sis like this

is that a ladder in your tights, or the stairway to heaven?

valentine's day is a cupid idea...

#cupid

love is like the ozone layer. You only miss it when it's gone.

#cupid

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