Sennexd's Posts

"Whats on your mind?"

"Do you think, that when fish are thrown back into the water, they go around yelling about alien abductions, and the other fish think they're crazy and stop talking to them?"

Reposted from Sledge

Sledge and Krisargent like this

This thing is as heavy as my old banjo, maybe heavier.

Sledge and Krisargent like this

Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana.

ZeepBella and Krisargent like this

reposted by Sledge

A really good friend of mine is in hospital after eating a bacon sandwich.

It was mine.

Reposted from Sledge

Krisargent likes this

And just like that, you have failed the Voight-Kampff test, Replicant

ICE
is state sponsored terrorism

Krisargent likes this

When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to God that you're nowhere near a dildo factory.

Reposted from Sledge

buzzielizzy likes this

I said to myself, "Self", and I knew it was me, because I recognized my voice, and I was wearing my underwear

Krisargent and buzzielizzy like this

MAGA
Make America Go
Away.

Can you ever really know where you are on the uncertainty index?

Krisargent likes this

I have left this Meta platform. I can now be found at Flashes as @CookiLumsden.bsky.social

Krisargent likes this

Red meat is not bad for you.

Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Reposted from Sledge

buzzielizzy likes this

TO THE UNTRAINED EYE, IT WOULD APPEAR I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Reposted from buzzielizzy

buzzielizzy and Krisargent like this

The madness continues, but so do I

Krisargent likes this

The madness continues, but so do I

buzzielizzy and Krisargent like this

Oh look, a distraction.
B.R.I.C
BRAZIL-?
RUSSIA Trump
INDIA Poilievre
CHINA Harper

Krisargent likes this

In the beginning there was only god
...and...BATMAN! god hasn't been seen since.

Does this rag smell like ether to you?

Why do people ask 'How was work?'

Like, work is work...
I would rather be in Europe right now, naked on a yacht, while destroying my liver....

...but here I am.

Reposted from Sledge

Krisargent likes this

In 342 episodes of Gunsmoke, Matt Dillion killed 407 people making him one of the most prolific serial killers in history.

Krisargent likes this

The institute of unfinished research has determined that 6 out of ten people.

Krisargent and buzzielizzy like this

MICK STANDS ON A LAND MINE AND SCREAMS...."PADDY, PADDY, I'VE LOST ME LEGS,SO I HAVE!".
PADDY LOOKS AND SAYS,
"YOU LYING FUCKER,
THEY'RE OVER THERE!!

Reposted from buzzielizzy

buzzielizzy likes this

Someone should remind "Skippy" that what happens in Canadian classbrooms is a provincial matter, and perhaps he should stay in his own lane.

buzzielizzy likes this

Getting offended by something posted on Facebook, is like choosing to step in dog shit, instead of walking around it..

Reposted from Sledge

buzzielizzy and Krisargent like this

NOT ALL RELATIONSHIPS WILL LEAD TO MARRIAGE ,
SOME WILL HELP YOU DISCOVER NEW RESTAURANTS

Reposted from buzzielizzy

buzzielizzy likes this

LET'S
GRAB
TODAY
BY THE
COFFEE
BEANS !

Reposted from buzzielizzy

Krisargent likes this

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed

Reposted from PennyLame

buzzielizzy likes this

some people get confused if a sentence doesn't end as they potato.

Reposted from graceyo

Krisargent likes this

How did those trolls get out from under the bridges? And who taught them to read?

No wonder the infrastructure is collapsing around us.

Krisargent likes this

Scientists have determined that the optimum amount of sleep required by an adult human is five more minutes.

Krisargent likes this

Spring has sprung, the grass is......still under 3 feet of snow.

The platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, thus it is the only animal which can make its own custard.

Krisargent likes this

Rider's fans are like Elvis

They're everywhere man, every where.

ONWARD
BUTTERCUP,
THERE'S FUCKERY TO SPREAD

Reposted from buzzielizzy

i'm chubby, but i identify as skinny.

i'm trans-slender

Reposted from siouxz

siouxz likes this

free your
inner sloth

Reposted from prubton

Krisargent and prubton like this

I've been on MeWe for 4 years, when i started here it was all just smalll villages on the open prairie.

Traditionalism

without growth is

fundamentalism

Krisargent likes this

The meaning of LIFE is simple. It is the wondrous and event-filled time spent between conception and death where irrational, spite-filled people do their best to break you down and convince you otherwise.

Reposted from petegutz2

No shoes

No pants

No mask

No entry

There is no 'we' in chocolate

A cat basking on the windowsill, her photon converter purring merrily.

Krisargent likes this

Just the idea of ripping the sex organs off of some plant, and giving them to someone as a token of love, is inherantly so twisted.

siouxz and UserOne like this

In Canada, we use the whole thermometer.

Krisargent likes this

Pronouns imply the existence of amateur nouns, thereby implying some sort of grammar Olympic Games...

Krisargent and siouxz like this

She: Think of it as more of me to love.

He: I prefer to think of it as more of you to gapple.

I have been sober for 100 days.
Not consecutivly but during this century.

I find the strangest things in little coprolite coffins.

No!
I will not adopt an absolutist position,
Dammit!

Today is the 21st day of the 21st year of the 21st century

Krisargent likes this

Before crow bars were invented,

Crows drank at home.

He came in like a dented can of beans, and he left like a wet fart

UserOne likes this

Hope is not a basket ingedient, there's no hope here.
Alton Brown

Faith is a radical act of defiance in the face of doubt

Krisargent likes this

Just read a food hack that says you can make your scrambled eggs fluffier by using mayonnaise.

I believe this.

I too have become fluffier because of mayonnaise

Krisargent likes this

Today in 1963 Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman in space orbiting the Earth 48 times over a 3 day period. She also still remains the youngest woman to ever fly in space (at age 26) and the only woman to embark upon a solo mission.

Krisargent likes this

iRetired:
There's a nap for that

Krisargent likes this

At my funeral, take the flowers off my coffin and throw them into the crowd, to see who is next.

Reposted from UsualMan

Maricopa
cafe many served
none dead.
So far.

I'm real glad I don't have to get up early tomorrow.
I can sleep in until at least four.

Krisargent likes this

I've married into a family that sings happy birthday in four part harmony.
What have I done?

Krisargent likes this

Country & western music... sometimes it's depressing

He has a talent for cramming a 35 minute meeting into an hour and a half.

Krisargent likes this

He has a talent for cramming a 35 minute meeting into an hour and a half.

He has a talent for cramming a 35 minute meeting into an hour and a half.

Will
Work
For
Cookies

Hey instagram, stop spamming my feed with your shitty advertizing.

Desert should be like a good kiss goodnight, simple and to the point. Aaron Sanchez

Always keep in mind that 7 out of 5 sides of a kitten are sharp.

They said if i put snapchat on my phone that it would be overwhelmed with gratuitous bewb shots. 3 weeks later, not a single one.

deja-Moo. I've seen this shit before.

I covet your peacock.
I got it at the thrift shop.

if I had to pick one word to descibe myself, it would be
"can't follow orders"

Krisargent and janem803 like this

A
raindrop
f
a
l
l
s.

Krisargent and dor1316 like this

there aren't any 'long fingernail' jobs in this company anymore.

They are mad because the cat doesn't fall far from the hand that kibbles it.

I need to be a little more adult, maybe just the tip.

I'm vague and you're trusting. a dangerous combination.

Mmmmm, grilled baby eggplant.
The young of other species always taste the best.

no, cuz if my boobs were fuzzy they would get petted

DonSpaccafurnu likes this

"it only words until someone takes a swing. then it's assault"
Matilda J.

Qball likes this

It's not a messy desk, it's an ongoing experiment in solid state fluid dynamics

DonSpaccafurnu likes this

It's 2015, when do we get our flying rocket cars, and where the hell is the clitoris?

It's kind of funny, as we get older we start enjoying things we hated as a kid, like taking naps and getting spankings

a yawn is but a silent scream for coffee.

Qball likes this

The only good Torie, is a suppository

fuzuku and Qball like this

Happy International Drunken Irish Wannabe Day

Gay marriages need to be legalized everywhere; because I would watch the shit out of gay divorce court.

siouxz, UserOne, DonSpaccafurnu, rebelchild and Qball like this

mom, when i grow up i would like to be a musician!

- well honey, you know you cant do both!

Reposted from DonSpaccafurnu

DonSpaccafurnu likes this

always point your Squig in the correct direction

My mama raised a fat kid, not a stupid kid.

How much douche could a douchebag douche, if a douchebag could bag douche?

Just keepin' it Riel in the 204

"This isn't my first lobster rodeo"

Krisargent likes this

That woman just offered to suck my washboard.

i keep my room messy because if someone tries to kill me, they'll trip over something.

Reposted from jaybyrd

jaybyrd likes this

i came into this world covered in someone else's blood and screaming...

and i'm not afraid to leave it the same way.

Reposted from jaybyrd

buzzielizzy, UserOne, rebelchild and jaybyrd like this

Virgin shaming and slut shaming piss me off in equal amounts. There's nothing magical or special about being a virgin, and same goes with having sex. You know what's magical? Shutting the fuck up about peoples personal choices.

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

You are never too old for stupid.

buzzielizzy, janem803, UserOne, rebelchild, DonSpaccafurnu, dor1316 and Qball like this

"it's alright Elba, I"d never let anyone else kill you."

#NakedTango, #movie

Your ideas are intriguing to me.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Qball likes this

and then, in walked the banjo player with a large beer in his hand.

Qball likes this

Could you fax that over to me?

No, I can't fax because of where I live.

Where do you live?
The 21st century.

Krisargent likes this

Anyone notice the irony behind "hyphenated" and "non-hyphenated"?

Krisargent and fuzuku like this

it was almost funny
*so close*

Decaffeinated Coffee?
That sounds almost as exciting as sex without the ropes.

#justsayin

Qball likes this

The most worth-while thing is to try to put happiness into the lives of others.
Robert Baden-Powell

#scouting

Qball likes this

Oh Ghod! My house is infested with musicians. I need to call pest control, before they begin to harmonize.

#Music, #harmony, #pest, #jamnight

when in doubt,
"Load HE"
is always a good answer

A nice thick slice of pickled onion in the eight year olds hamburger. Now that's entertainment

#onion, #vinegar, #sourface

dor1316 likes this

OK. so now I can take job interview whilst lying naked in bed off of my bucket list. thank you cell phone.

his problem wasn't that he was stupid, it was that hes was stupid and aware of it.
This made him very angry.

isn't a Drone just a fancy name for RC aircraft?
Yah, but Drone sounds cooler.

I moved to Toronto and the jokes just stopped coming.

#fridge

Krisargent and dor1316 like this

When dealing with Unicorns, particularly the rare ones, One should expect some level of Whimsey & Wonder

according to my friend the chemist, Scotch is in fact a solution.

i think therefore

i don't have much in common with a lot of people

Reposted from ephy

Qball likes this

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary notation, and those who don't

fuzuku likes this

If life gave you melons, you may be dyslexic

buzzielizzy, SceneMind-Cat, meohmy, MyM, UserOne, beautiful, Qball and conner_jones97 like this

reposted by beautiful and UserOne

You know, that if you hold their heads under water until the bubbles stop, they don't make that horrid noise anymore.

janem803 likes this

All my bills say "Outstanding".

I guess that means I am good!

Reposted from 2schaa

UserOne, DonSpaccafurnu, beautiful, Sennexd and Qball like this

I dont have a Facebook
or Twitter Account..
So I Just go around Announcing out loud what i'm Doin at certain Times..

I've Got 3 Followers And I Think 2 of Them Are COPS ...

Reposted from juneocallagh

Qball likes this

Thank you for accepting who I am, even if you'll never understand it.

Reposted from ALWest

Krisargent, UserOne and Qball like this

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize that every problem can be solved without violence

buzzielizzy, UserOne, dor1316, beautiful and Qball like this

always keep in mind the 7 P's of military organization; Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

janem803, UserOne and beautiful like this

reposted by beautiful

life is uncertain, eat desert first
"Garfield"

ZeepBella likes this

Long ago in a place called Winnipeg, two young men learned that one can write on a new refridgerator with write-on/Wipe-off markers. The fridge became a running conversation between many visitors to that apartment. This lead to the curious habit of carrying a notebook and recording out of context snippets of conversation. These books are known collectively as "The Fridge"

Krisargent and dor1316 like this