Vaniljkola's Posts

its my birthday

and I cry if I want to!!

I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony.

inte konstigt att folk inte förstår sig på mig!!

jag förstår mig inte på mig!

Excuse me, sir.
Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.?
'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become a M.I.A. and then we'd all be put out on K.P..

mjf likes this

"You have a great body.

May I use it?

"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."

tweetybird likes this

"Ernest Hemingway once wrote: 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.'

I agree with the second part."

"Flied lice?"

"Flied lice.

It is fried rice,
you plick."

tweetybird likes this

"Aaawl- right-y-then."

Whatever you do always give 100%..
unless you're donating blood •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

i'm super lazy today.

which is like normal lazy, but i'm also wearing a cape.

Reposted from t_treeman

tweetybird likes this

“Which reminds me of the time an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Vicar, a Rabbi
and a Priest all go into a bar and the barman looks up and says

'Is this a joke?'”

tweetybird likes this

"Its like when I'm right I'm right, when I'm wrong I could be right, so I'm still right cause I coulda been wrong, you know, and I'm sorry cause I could be wrong right now, I could be wrong, but if I'm right..."

Is there any way you could lend me some money?

Maybe twenty million dollars.

“Just roll me in fairy dust and call me a unicorn.”
? Lita Burke, Ephraim's Curious Device

I feel like an idiot.

But I am an idiot,
so it kinda works out.

Do, or do not.

There is no "try".

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.

Love at first sight is possible,

but it pays to take a second look.

Love is a lot like a backache,
it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.

I took the liberty of bullshitting you!!

hemko likes this

you are what I never knew I always wanted

HAKUNA

MATATTA

hemko likes this

what do you whant me to do?

dress in drag and do the hula?

tweetybird likes this

I look at people sometimes and think . .

Really??

That's the sperm that won!!??

tweetybird likes this

running away does not help you with your problems. . .

unless you are fat!

"Every man dies.
Not every man really lives"

Braveheart

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

tonjen, Gabbem, kj55, musissy and satan like this

reposted by satan and Wolfpack2k10

do not read the next sentence

you little rebel I like you!

Vaniljkola, GaylrdSprFckr and satan like this

It was a good plan...

up till now.

Vaniljkola likes this

shit happens I mean... just look at your face.

Reposted from erikaholm

during the nineteenth century in the UK was the punishment for attempted suicide

death!!

If I'm not back in five minutes...

just wait longer.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super-fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!

Vaniljkola likes this

ja men det funkar för mig!

ja men så jävla bra då!

What's shakin' bacon?

not if anything to say about it I have!

I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are.
Isn't that right
Mr. Poopy Pants!

No one is the reason of your happiness Except you yourself!!