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Posts Liked by blody-boldi

Dieser Moment, wenn du merkst, dass du auf einem geliehenen Kugelschreiber kaust.

5

Es muss nicht immer alles Sinn machen. Oft reicht es schon, wenn es Spass macht.

12

Alcohol?

Nah!
That word
is not in my vodkabulary!!

43

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

90

This is a message for all those who don't drink or smoke!

One day your old friends will die & you will be left alone.

29

Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don't even like.

17

Es heisst Freundschaft, weil man mit Freunden alles schafft

14

You know shit just got serious when girl ties up her hair

8

The wiener takes it all!

8

Women want someone who can make them laugh and someone who they feel safe with,
so basically, a clown ninja.

58

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl , it's one of the two things.

New girl or New car

11

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions

Chocolate understands everything

8

There comes a time when you realize that you'll never be good enough for some people.

Question is,
is that your problem or theirs?

16

Women belong in the kitchen. Men belong in the kitchen. Everyone belongs in the kitchen, because there's food in the kitchen.

7

Coming home and seeing that somebody ate the food you've been thinking about all day.

9

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance

23

if you punch yourself and it hurts, are you weak or strong?

155

Thirty five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart.

4

Even Jesus pooped.

Holy shit.

8

Marriage is a workshop..
Where husband works and wife shops..

20

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It's gonna take me a coupleof minutes to get hard cause i just got outta that chick.

11

vrisch
ferliebt

5

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

Treat life's little problems like your dog would...

If you can't eat it or shag it,

Piss on it and walk away!!!

10

Kisses are like tears. The only real ones are the ones you can't hold back.

17

I found your nose.

Its in my business again.

135

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

455

And I think to myself...

295

I need more drinks and less light.

52

Keep reaching for the stars.

But, please, get a better deodorant.

98

I celebrate diversity

I have all kinds of problems

119

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

210

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
Silicon Valley.

140

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

STRESSED

spelled
backward
is

DESSERTS

320

Wenn Du eine Familienkonferenz einberufen willst, schalte einfach den WLAN-Router aus und warte ein paar Sekunden.

55

nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up

35

I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT

BUT I HATE LOSING

173

Was wohl aus all den Menschen geworden ist, denen ich mal den Weg erklärt habe?

71

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

377

I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong

12

alles wird gut
-
und dann?

1

Why does everyone say think outside the box?
What is inside the box that they don't want us to think about?

11

I smell great today

7

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