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Posts Liked by Christoffersen

what if the best is yet to come and this was only the first part of the run...

161

I miss you a little... I guess you could say, a little too often, a little too much...

169

And here starts another week without me being rich or famous.

182

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

221

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

321

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else -

is the greatest accomplishment

277

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

"Are you jealous?"
-"Nope"
"Are you jealous?"
-"I said NO!"
"Okay, give me a kiss?"
-"Go ask your 'friend' for a kiss."

11

Kiss my neck
Bite me
Pull my hair
Trace my spine
Hold me down
Use you tongue
Make me moan
Don't stop til' I'm shaking

26

I don't care how many you've kissed. I don't care how many you've loved. I don't want to be your first, I only want to be your last.

18

The best feeling in the world is kissing someone for the first time when you've really wanted to kiss them for a long time.

37

kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute.

wanna workout?

34

"I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and
I believe in miracles."

52

I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.

338

Music always puts me in a better wood.

151

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

264

You're as annoying as that app that turns sideways when I lay down.

215

Friend: What's your boyfriend's name?
Me: Bed.
Friend: That's a weird name.
Me: Yeah, he's from Ikea.

38

I'm pretty sure I didn't meet you just for nothing.

42

lick
me
'till
ice cream

158

Don't like sex? Don't have it.
Don't like drugs? Don't use them.
Don't like abortions? Don't have one.
Don't like cigarettes? Don't smoke one.
Don't like gay marriage? Don't get one.
Don't like porn? Don't watch it.
Don't like alcohol? Don't drink it.
Don't like guns? Don't buy one.

Don't like your rights taken away?
Then don't take someone else's.

81

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

409

lalochezia

(n.) the emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language.

157

Most of the time I am convinced I have lost it. But sometimes, I think I am the main line of truth in the universe.

201

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

326

Dear Ex..

When you see me, i want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you're never getting back.

Sincerly Me

388

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

some are playing hard to get while i'm playing hard to want

285

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

416

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

564

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

478

They should ask us who we are instead of what we want to be.

526

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

And maybe at night when we're all a little too tired and a little too truthful, that's when we see ourselves for who we really are.

564

My immaturity keeps me young.

470

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

ALCOHOL DOESN'T CAUSE HANGOVERS WAKING UP DOES

88

I have seen the best of you, and the worst of you; and I choose both.

242

There are only five things we need in life:

- good friends
- good job
- good food
- good sleep
- good _uck *

* whatever you're
thinking, it's right.

74

True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.

100

HERE'S TO THE GIRLS who don't wake up with perfect hair. Who don't mind eating a Big Mac instead of salad. Who don't wear 50 pounds of makeup. Who'd rather wear sweatpants instead of skinny jeans. Who don't get all the guys. Who aren't "popular" but feel like it, when they're with friends. Here's to the girls LIKE ME!

38

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

LISTEN TO SILENCE

417

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

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