Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

Posts Liked by D2Flow

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

455

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

laundry today
or
naked tomorrow

1298

I like being single,
I'm always there
when I need me

66

You can stay, but your clothes must go...

26

I'm somewhat embarrassed. I'm pretty sure my neighbor heard me not having sex again last night.

32

I'm a gentleman.

My Dick stands up so women can sit down.

31

Sex on television cant hurt you unless you fall off.

24

Men wear the pants, but ladies control the zipper.

24

Any yawn can be a surprise blowjob if you're fast enough.

50

Your clothes. They bother me. Take them off.

58

It has been a long week... I need one of those hugs that turn into sex.

104

You must be tired after everything
we did in my dreams last night.

143

If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

128

I wish you could last as long in bed as you do in an argument.

30

the only valentine's day cards
I'll accept are credit cards

41

the only valentine's day cards
I'll accept are credit cards

159

Better grab my dumbrella.

It's really stupid out there today.

98

Better grab my dumbrella.

It's really stupid out there today.

294

Change is much more than just some coins in your pocket.

179

You two are the most fucked up people I've ever met and I deal with fucked up people for a living.

103

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

I don't have any bad habits.

I am good at all of them.

205

there is always a wild side to an innocent face

182

I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.

196

Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who's not interested.

214

i will tell you my sins

and you can sharpen your knife

132

some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place.

some people become vandals because they want to make the world a better looking place.

56

some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place.

some people become vandals because they want to make the world a better looking place.

93

You know, long distance relationships are so hard, especially since my boyfriend lives in the future!

197

Either I'm in love or i'm in trouble.

178

My body is a temple...

Unfortunately,
I have no respect for religion.

142

Staring is caring.

118

MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT,
MAYBE IT'S AN INSTAGRAM FILTER.

192

In 1492 Christopher Columbus discovered my butt.

54

I'm not
afraid of heights.
I just don't like
clouds.

133

how age cripples you with wisdom

77

If we all pretend tomorrow is Sunday we might just get away with it.

172

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

171

we can
still be friends

149

You shouldn't just read everything you believe.

135

I wish the voices in my head would at least take turns.

115

I am an artist.

(copy+paste)

108

all I know is that I know nothing... and that I love beer.

145

If you think you can make anything idiot proof, then you're the idiot.

153

Sometimes you have to destroy something to create something new.

229

See your beauty without a compliment or a mirror

179

Dear Sneeze,

If you're going to happen, happen.

Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

251

You are a tornado
with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.

179

He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him and I'll ask him again when he wakes up. ..

157

I can be easily switched on or off...who needs a remote!

59

It's not a walk of shame if you leave with a moonwalk.

191

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

213

happimess

177

One day, I will solve my problems with maturity.

Today, however, it will be with alcohol.

219

Love and peace is more than two fingers

138

People keep asking me "how's it going" like I have any idea what's going on at any point.

184

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...

278

Dont make me choose between you and food because I would miss you.

333

Unless you can question your own beliefs, you have no place questioning the beliefs of others.

202

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

62

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

324

We
Are
Shaped
and
Fashioned
By
What We
Love

141

May the fourth be with you

92

Of course size matters.....

Nobody wants a small cup of coffee.

218

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

169

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

226

I wish I had boobs so people would stop making eye contact with me.

146

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

240

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

240

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

262

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

270

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

279

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

273

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

312

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

583

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

250

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

356

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

laundry today
or
naked tomorrow

577

If I were a gardener, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together.

150

If you have to ask if it's too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends.

189

A world where we are smarter than our phones

182

A world

with a little less selfies

and a little more selfless.

244

I would not want to be involved in a fight with a person who bleeds every month and still lives.

225

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

244

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

232

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

147

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

show more

About Help Contact Copyright Privacy Terms