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Posts Liked by EitherChaff084

i just asked the sunset to be my valentine...

38

no shirt
no shoes
no problems

29

I'd have a very healthy sex life if my hand was a vagina.

3

Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you dont belong with

9

Love coupon: Good for one back massage I'll immediately try and turn into sex.

3

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy.

6

Think less
fuck more

5

Monday
mornings could
be awesome, when
they began with sex •

17

Dare you... to f*ck me

1

I'm great in Bed..

I can sleep for hours!

5

there is nothing better than the smell of coffee
in the morning

combined with morning sex

19

who the fuck dont want to be nude and a bit rude..

3

$Easy Math - Lights + You + Me - Clothes x Hotness = ?$

7

stay inconspicuous.
stay
invisible.

they won't see you coming.
they won't know what hit them.

47

I bet she bangs like a fairy on acid.

1

A threesome is a fun way of disappointing twice as many people at the same time.

13

He made me smirk
because
he thought of sex
at a time like this.

3

SHE'S COMPLETELY UNEXPLAINABLE

You think she's the good girl, but once you get to know her, you realize
she's everything.

She's crazy, she's sexy, she's funny, she's honest and you never know what she'll do next.

5

So for Valentines Day, I told my hand to “Just surprise me....”

40

I see better with my eyes closed

11

If you die during an orgasm, you're actually coming and going at the same time.

13

Seduction begins with the words you whisper in her ear,
the pictures you paint in her mind.

10

You're my favorite reason to lose sleep.

14

What would you ask for if you knew the answer was yes?

7

I'm not going to stop until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name.

6

Wanna come over and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?

7

SAVE WATER

SHOWER TOGETHER

2

If You Don't Laugh At Least Once During Sex Then You're Having Sex With The Wrong Person!!

8

If you are not into oral sex keep your mouth shut!!

10

put your hands all over my body

9

It's silly to ask everytime, for the things you need in bed

..

4

Did you cum yet?

4

TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!!!

10

Some Hot Rough Sex And No Thinking Would Be So Nice Right Now!!

8

IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE KISSED......
IT WOULDN'T HAVE
LIPS.....?

15

Slowly kiss my neck until i cant handle anymore!

2

Come Together And Then Cum Together

6

today i learned the average person has 8 different sexual partners in their lifetime.

today i also learned that i'm a whore.

4

Can you see the "fuck me"
in my smile?

And the
"hard please"
in my eyes?

10

Don't worry...

It only
seems kinky the first time.

6

You, me, a Bottle of whatever you want to drink, a big Sofa. And my Wish that we both aim to misbehave and do kinky things.

10

Who's to say that Love has to be soft and gentle?

19

*The new dick appointment has serious skills*

Me: "Welcome to the harem!"

2

She said,"I could fuck you but I don't want your death on my conscience."

Confidence in a woman is a sexy thing!

8

'Spooning'
is never innocent,
you grab a spoon
and you go in for a bite

8

You can live your life between your legs. But, it's much more fun living between someone elses!

9

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

273

If shots,
sex or a nap can't cure it, you've got a serious
fucking problem.

28

Sorry,
I wasn't paying attention..
I was thinking about having
sex with you •

27

Beer.
Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.

31

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

33

Lust is honest.
It demands sex. Love is sly; it creeps up on you and expects pancakes in the morning and text messages in the day.

44

life is short. have loud sex.

33

coffee makes
the morning.

having sex too.

54

All you need is
love,

all you want is
sex...

All you have is
porn!

48

you know what rhymes with drunk...

sex.

46

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

63

I choose my underwear for the day based on how likely I am to have sex. Today I'm wearing a used grocery bag I found floating across the highway.

46

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive:

"Hi".

56

If sex, shots, or sleep can't solve it, you have a fucking problem.

40

I hope to arrive to my death,

late,
in love,
and a little drunk.

11

HONESTLY. DRUNK ME IS JUST REGULAR ME EXCEPT TWICE AS HONEST AND 10 TIMES AS HORNY.

2

It's not that I'm always horny. It's just that you always look so f*ckable!

4

Everyone has a 'look' they give when they want to fuck.

4

How to get laid:

1) Lay on bed...

Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense.

26

?ag??a? a?? l??? ?he ??a?h??...

?f ??'? ??? ,
??'? ???? ?s gs
????d?!

3

we're grown ups - it's just sex!
wanna fuck?

3

Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or coffee.

9

fuck morning classes, fuck early work, fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping or sex.

11

SEX POEM

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggystyle & 69
Just for fun or getting paid
Everyone likes getting laid

Sex is evil
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in

Roses are nice
Violets are fine
I'll be the six
If you be the nine

35

fuck it
but fuck it real' good

18

Let's rather just get naked than actually apologize.

24

Come to me and mark your territory

27

Anywhere you want.

Just not in her hair.

19

My favorite part of yoga is the moaning.

25

You're cute and all but I'm not sharing my coffee.

29

I'm the kind of trouble you take home and tie to your bed.

26

Sex so good I made my vibrator cum.

23

nothing is forbidden until you ask for permission

31

I miss you and other things I don't understand

39

Wow, that was rather inappropriate.

Let's be friends.

91

I'm happy to let people into my heart,
or bed...
whatever.

24

Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it's really "Who do you like" or "Awkward sexual task".

14

Sex is no fun if you do it alone.

19

This whole me sleeping in my bed alone thing, is really getting old.

19

Take me with a pinch of salt, a shot of tequila
and on the kitchen table.

25

if you have to ask after sex if it was good...

...it wasn't that good...

13

Sex Etiquette: Laughing is encouraged. Pointing and laughing is discouraged.

20

In another body experiences are particulaly satisfying

12

If it's not slippery you're not doing it right

13

IF HER BRA MATCHES HER PANTIES WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER CLOTHES,
IT WASN'T YOU WHO DECIDED TO HAVE SEX.

26

People who describe things as "better than sex" are having the wrong kind of sex!!

26

Keep your fights clean &
the sex dirty!

19

Vagina is the only food that never gets cold.

31

You can stay, but your clothes must go...

26

Coffee and sex
are the best when they're hot •

30

Sometimes,
you're just in the mood for rough sex •

28

Kiss my neck
Bite me
Pull my hair
Trace my spine
Hold me down
Use you tongue
Make me moan
Don't stop til' I'm shaking

26

There are two things in life that as soon as you finish, you can't wait to do it again..

sleeping and sex •

25

Try taking my sex exam, you might get the D.

14

Squats
are like sex..
the deeper you go, the better it is •

31

Don't
tease
unless
you
can
please!

34

Life is like sex..
you can either lie back and let it screw you or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it •

35

Trust is the most important thing
in a relationship..
and by trust I
mean sex •

30

Do you ever just
look at somebody
and wonder how
they moan during sex..?

40

Pour yourself into me
and I will not let a drop
of you hit the ground.

- Rudy Francisco

31

A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world.

Oh sorry..
That's wine.
Wine does that.

37

I came.
I saw.
I conquered.
I came again.

57

Your clothes. They bother me. Take them off.

58

Dirty.

- All my thoughts.

45

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

45

Having sex doesn't make you a slut, and being a virgin doesn't make you a saint.

58

Any yawn can be a surprise blowjob if you're fast enough.

50

Biting the pillow is the best form of breakfast in bed.

47

blood under your nails or it didn't happen

21

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...

72

It has been a long week... I need one of those hugs that turn into sex.

104

May all your ups and downs be between the sheets.

54

If I'm still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

128

Favorite type of music to play during sex?

You.

51

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

262

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