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Posts Liked by Fitzie

If a girl says "first of all," run. There's never been a good "first of all," You've never heard a girl say, "first of all, I'm gonna suck your dick."

"First of all," means that the girl has done research, has her data, her pie charts are ready and you are done.

5

Party at my house
Bring food
Bring drink
Then leave
In an orderly fashion

12

My favorite part of the World Cup is shots of crying people.

132

what the fuck is a kollegg bag?

6

The bags under my eyes are "Gucci"

10

The only Pill that would make me Happy is the one that brings you back to life.

127

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

427

dear stomach,
you're bored, not hungry.
so shut up.

3

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