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10 ways to break the ice
Does a new client leave your mind as frozen as a Hollywood actress’s forehead? Are you a non-stop motor mouth with your friends but totally tongue tied at work? Some people have the gift of gab; for others it’s an acquired skill. Either way, in this people-lovin’ business, it’s critical to be able to hold your own with the clients in your chair even if they’re reserved or difficult. Maybe you don’t have time to digest “The Wall Street Journal” and the “New York Times” every morning, but you do have to show up to work with something to say. Here are 10 ice-breaking tips to get the conversational ball rolling and keep it cruising in the right direction.

1. Ask questions that can’t be answered in monosyllables—unless the reply will lead to a follow-up you already have in mind. For example, a question like, “Have you always lived here?” can be responded to with a conversation-stopper like, “yes,” or “no,” but you can then easily move onto a more open-ended query like: “What do you like best about the neighborhood?” or “Where did you live before?”

2. It’s okay to put yourself in the conversation if it will ultimately switch the focus to the person in your chair. Asking, “Did you see George Clooney’s new film?” elicits a
”yes” or “no” and could go nowhere, while, “Seen any good movies lately?” sounds forced. Better to say something like, “I’m going to George Clooney’s new movie. What do you think of him?” Bringing yourself into the conversation invites dialogue instead of interrogation.

3. Talk about the weather only if it’s unusual. “Nice day, isn’t it?” doesn’t cut it, but, “How’s your neighborhood after that big storm?” leads to all sorts of interesting things.

4. Keep up with the news. Make a point of knowing what’s going on in the world and in your own city. You don’t need to be an international or domestic policy expert—your clients will like being able to fill you in--but you do want to sound like an informed citizen of the world.

5. Take a good look at the person in your chair and adjust your topic accordingly. Don’t talk Amy Winehouse to a Frank Sinatra client or Gaultier to a gal who’s all twin set and pearls. When trying to start a conversation, snap judgments can actually help. Look for clues (black nail polish or black cashmere?) and try to gauge your client’s tastes before starting the conversation.

6. There’s no taboo like an old taboo. Why? Because some of them still hold true—like never talk religion or politics (today those explosive topics can be riskier than ever.) Same goes for asking personal questions. (If she tells you she’s thinking about a facelift, the appropriate response is never, “So, exactly how old are you?”) It takes a lot of mutual good feeling to keep a client, but just one really tactless question to blow it.

7. Leave your troubles behind. No one comes to the salon to hear about your ex--that rat. However, they are probably eager to talk about the pond scum THEY just broke up with. Word to the wise here: listen, make sympathetic sounds, but avoid jumping into the pond scum dissing session. Otherwise, when kiss-and-make-up time rolls around and true love reigns once more, who’s going to seem like the rat? Y-o-u.

8. Listen/talk ratio? It’s the old 80/20, and don’t forget it. Your job is to draw your client out and make him or her feel comfortable and enjoy their experience in the chair. For the majority, this means the chance to be in the company of a good listener. If they’re looking for a monologue, they can go to a comedy club.

9. Control your passions. No matter how strongly you believe in chiropractic vegetarianism, UFOs, pre-emptive invasions, spinning or the power of astrology, keep a lid on it. If, on the other hand, the client wants to talk about HER passion, it’s best to feign interest even if you’re a non-believer. Responding to a question of, “What’s your sign?” with “I’m a Gemini” works better than announcing, “Oh, I’m not stupid enough to believe all that.”

10. When tongues get tied, compliments tend to loosen them. There’s always something nice to say about anyone. (Attila the Hun? Appealingly assertive.) Anyone is pleased to know someone else likes their earrings, watch, shoes, tattoos or taste in literature. Not only are you showing you approve of their choices, you’re also positioning yourself as someone who appreciates, and possibly shares, their tastes.

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I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

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it's so fucking cold out, I just keyed someones car with my nipples by accident

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