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Posts Liked by jessicafm

Porn is so unrealistic. I just took a shower with my boyfriend and all he did was stand in the corner shivering for 20 minutes while he handed me a bunch of shampoos.

131

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

224

I'M ON THAT NEW DIET WHERE YOU EAT EVERYTHING AND HOPE FOR A BIG MIRACLE.

244

my ex has one very annoying habit.

breathing.

2

you aren't just a star to me, you're my whole damn sky

1

If you love,
and are loved,
without
explanation
or condition;
you're doing
something right.

2

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it's not going to be a good time.

2

If you didn't want me to build a pancake catapult why did you leave me unsupervised for 4 and a half minutes?

1

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